You Must Die Before You Live
Copyright 10/2/2020
Barbie Lee. Proofed by Catherine Linda Michel.

Story may be shared but not published for profit or any other gains.

It had been a harrowing six days and just before Halloween too. Thank God everyone had been alerted in time and a major crisis adverted. Calista never was stable and shouldn’t have been allowed to join. She was going to turn lose vampires, ghouls, demons, monsters, dark witches, and a whole lot more this Halloween. An emergency call went out from Shasta who had been keeping a watch on her since Calista had gone wobbly the past several years. She felt what she was planning on doing. Halloween was the one night when magic and resources were perfectly aligned for Calista to open a door to the Dark World.

Twenty seven from all over the world who belonged to the coven showed up within seconds of each other, surrounding Calista preventing her from doing what she had planned. The pentagrams painted in white paint on the floor, the runes inscribed around the edges was enough evidence no one questioned what she had intended.

Shasta spoke for the others. “Calista, you intended to open a door to the Dark World. Your preparations are almost finished. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Glaring at all the others around her, Calista snarled. “I am releasing the others from their prison. They deserve to be free. Who are we to pass judgment on others who aren’t like us? Are we not a contradiction ourselves to all others? We have powers most mortals don’t even know about.”

Minddy along with a few of the others shook their heads. Truly Calista had lost her mind. Releasing those from the Dark World would be the end of everyone including the witches if they couldn’t lock them up again. It would be a battle no one wanted and an outcome no one could predict.

Calista had already set up an invocation where all she had to do was speak the words and summon a demon over from the other world. She started to do just that. “zitseko zidzatsequulidwa ndipo…”

More than two dozen spells were immediately cast upon Calista to silence her and keep her from finishing the chant. She was spell bound to keep her from moving or speaking.

Shasta looked at Calista with pity, “You condemn yourself. What you planned cannot be allowed. Take a vote.”

No one moved, raised their hand, or spoke verbally but the vote was unanimous. Calista would have her powers removed. All of them, down to the very last drop. A binding spell would be set upon her where she could never learn magic of any kind, especially witch magic. If she tried doing any magic she would lose her memory of them. She would lose her witch semi immortality and grow old and die like normal humans. She would lose her ageless beauty along with everything else.'

No one spoke but they all agreed to the judgment. Calista couldn’t be trusted with witchcraft any longer. And so began the long arduous process of spell casting after spell casting to place all the binding rules upon the woman who was once one of them. All the black art she had been preparing had to be totally removed, the home had to be cleansed and sanitized. Some of the coven rotated in and out as the six days it took to accomplish everything that was done. Despite the time it took, it was better than closing up a door to the Dark World after one had been opened and fighting the dark life forces that emerged from there.

Minddy had put up all her Halloween decorations two weeks before, inside the house were pumpkin lanterns, skeletons, black gauzy curtains on the windows and hanging in the middle of three of the rooms. Small miniature witches on brooms were on top the ceiling fans in the living room and dining room. Outside across the yard were gnomes, goblins, a vampire, and ghosts. The lights were placed just so. As they operated randomly they flickered on and off the shadows made all the figures look like they were moving.

The candied apples, caramel popcorn, bubble gum, and assorted candy was piled high in the pantry waiting for the hundreds of children who always swarmed her house on Halloween.Only…, only this time all the lights were off, her house was dark. With no lights the ghosts and other cloth figures waving in the slight breeze looked more realistic than usual and the children were scared to approach the house. If parents were taking them around then the parent would automatically bypass the house with no lights.

She felt the lone person sitting in the corner of the porch as she was driving down the street toward her home. She turned off her lights before she ever pulled into the driveway. She didn’t activate the garage door but parked on her driveway, opened her door, gracefully swung her legs out, stood up, retrieved her purse, and locked her car. She never hesitated as she walked up the steps to her porch and stepped over in front of the young man curled up in the corner who had been crying his eyes out.

“Want to talk about it?”

He shook his head without looking up. He had stopped crying but was sniffing and wiped his running nose with his shirt sleeve. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll leave.”

“Not before we have a talk, Mitchell. You’re sitting here on my porch getting the decking wet and running my decorations with your salty tears. The gnomes, goblins, ghosts, and other assorted monsters want an apology and an explanation.”

His head snapped up, his eyes flashed wide open when she mentioned his name. And then she threw in the rest of the story of goblins and such and it brought a sharp laugh from him.

She gave him a smile. “Now that’s better. Let’s go inside where we can have a drink and you can tell me what brought all the tears and heartache on such a glorious night as Halloween. Do you drink whiskey, rum, scotch, or I might still have some Kentucky white lighting in a jug from some of our picnics this summer.”

Mitchell’s eyes opened even wider as he stared at her.

“Gotchu again. Seriously, it’s a hot cup of chocolate with marshmallows. I also have tons of Halloween candy which I didn’t get to pass out this year. We can eat candy until our bellies are going to pop and we pass out with a sugar high. Tomorrow we will wake up, hung over the potty praying to the gods of Halloween who are still awake for a quick death to end our misery of gluttony.

“Gods of Halloween? If only there were.” He looked so sad again.

“What! You don’t believe there are gods for Halloween? You practice sacreligion at your own perle you young whelp. Now come on, inside where I can introduce you to the witches.”

Mitchell shook his head as he got to his feet. She indicated he should go first so he did, opening the storm door and then pushing the door open as he stepped out of the way and held the door for her.

“Thank you Mitchell, that was very courteous of you. The kitchen and hot chocolate is this way. He closed the door and followed her through the living room, the dining room and into the kitchen.

She motioned to a chair at the table as she walked up to another chair beside it and sit down.

He stared at the two cups of steaming hot chocolate with a big marshmallow floating in each. Someone is in the house and heard her talking about hot chocolate. He took a seat, picked up the cup and took a very small sip. The taste was unbelievable deep black chocolate. Rich, creamy chocolate. He had heard women mention they would die for a little chocolate. This must be the chocolate they were talking about. He took another sip. If it wasn’t so hot he would drink it all down in one go. He had never tasted anything like it.

Minddy smiled knowingly as she sipped her chocolate. “It’s Halloween chocolate. It’s always good but it hits its peak on Halloween.”
Nodding in agreement he took another sip. “It’s so good. I never tasted anything like it.”

“I believe it is worth a story, don’t you? Talk to me Mitchell. Why aren’t you with the other kids out partying, playing pranks, and getting into trouble as you paper someone’s house, soap their car, or toss water balloons at kids walking down the street?”

“I…” He wiped tears leaking out the corners of his eyes. “Mom and dad, office party, my friends, lake drinking, too old to go trick or treating. Me, I mean. Costume…, too old to dress up in the one… Mom and dad never let me when I was…, kid. I wanted even if only for couple hours one night a year.”

He turned and looked at her, a full blown flood now. “You’re so beautiful.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and bawled.

She knew what he wanted, what he needed, but he had to say it so it was his choice not something she put into his mind. “You want me?”

He shook his head. “I want to be you. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“I think your mom is a pretty woman.”

“She is pretty. A lot of women are pretty. You’re beautiful.”

“That’s very sweet of you Mitchell. It doesn’t really answer the question though, does it? You can’t be me. What would you like instead?”
He had stopped crying and wiped his eyes again.

“It hurts! Deep down inside it hurts! I know I can’t be you. Please understand, I can’t be me either!”

“We finally get to the crux of the situation don’t we? How and when do you plan on killing yourself?”

“Tonight, I’ll do it tonight. Halloween is a good night for freaks like me to give it up. Don’t you agree?” His voice had taken on a little hardness.

She shook her head. “No I don’t agree. For many of us it ruins the spirit of what Halloween is all about. Tricks are to be played, treats are to be passed out, and fun is supposed to be had by everyone. Too many spread their dark ideas into Halloween.”

She motioned toward the pantry. The door swung open, displaying all the goodies she hadn’t passed out this Halloween crowding the shelves. “I haven’t gave away any treats this Halloween and that makes me unhappy. May I give you a treat?”

“I don’t feel like eating candy.”

She laughed and Mitchell would swear he heard lyrical music. “Not the treat I was thinking of, but you’re welcome if you want.”

She turned toward him, took his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes. He was thinking how warm and soft her hands were.
“My treat to you is that you die so you can live.”

“You’ll help me kill myself?” Funny... the concept pleased him. He wouldn’t be dying alone.

“In a sense. You’ll die, but not really. Everyone must believe you have died for you to live as you wish... as a woman.”

His eyes grew four sizes too big as he stared at her. “Come again?”

You must die so you can live as you want. You said you wanted to be me. You can’t be me, but you can be a woman. A beautiful woman, a real woman. Mitchell will have to give up his parents, his friends, everything he has in order for this beautiful woman to take his place.”
He leaned forward to get closer to her. “Explain it to me so I can understand.”

“I just did. Do you want to be a female, yes or no?”

“Yes.” He nodded in agreement.

“That dream can be yours, but there are rules. The girl you want to be cannot take Mitchell’s place. She must be her own self, not a warmed over Mitchell. Thus, Mitchell must die before she can begin her life. An accident, one where the body can’t be identified because it can’t really be you. There is no resurrecting the dead. That gets into an area we won’t go.”

“We?”

“I’ve heard the whispers, the rumors, I’m a witch. I’m not denying it. I am... one of many in the coven I belong to. After we fake your death, we will change your mortal body to match the spiritual body inside you. The girl you feel you should be.”

“You can do that?”

“Look at me. Yes. They, we, I can do that. I was born as a male the same as you. Bonnie found me and offered me the same deal I’m offering you. There are other covens, but we are the only one where each one started life as a male and is now female.”

“….but, you’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you. It’s the transformation effect. We generally transform into that which we seek. That is in the person transformed. It is not in anything the casters do.”

“When?”

“When can we do the transformation?”

He nodded.

“Tonight if you like. It’s Halloween and I’m so wanting to do a treat. A flaming car wreck, the body so fried there's nothing but ashes left. It must be an accident, not suicide, so your parents don’t blame themselves. You rented a car earlier today. You were texting and ran a stop sign. Collided with the trailer of a fuel truck. Everything goes up in flames. The body is cooked to ashes. The truck driver releases the trailer and drives a safe distance away.”

“You’re going to kill someone as me? No, I won’t do it.”

“Nice to know I’m not supporting a dark spirit. No one is going to die in your place. There will be a body, but it will have already died long before we snatch it from the morgue. The size and sex will be the same as you are now. The dental records will be the only thing positively identifying the body as you. A perfect match by the way.”

“A car, a tanker of fuel and the tanker, I’ll be paying for that the rest of my life, but it will be worth it.”

“The coven pays for all of it. We are witches remember. Money earned honestly, but we do have a very generous funds account.”

“You… they… would do this for me? Why? You don’t know me. They…”

“Oh, I know you well enough. Your parents moved into town when you were seven. I’ve been watching you since then. I felt what you were, Mitchell. You had to come to me or I couldn’t help you. It’s a hard fast rule of the coven. One I truly don’t agree with, but we all either live by the majority rules or we die by the rules.”

She gave him a soft smile. “No I didn’t plant the idea in your mind that you were a girl. You had that idea before your parents moved here. That is another rule we can’t break. No mental steering allowed on others. It is why you must die. Your mother, father, and brother will miss you. They won’t wonder where you’ve gone or wonder if you are okay and still alive when you are no longer there.”

“Have you picked your new name?”

“You mean if I was a girl?”

“Yes”

He nodded. “Rachel Ann Hunter is the name I finally settled on for the past six years after going though thousand of names in the news, baby books and searching online.”

“Okay, the others are working on all the legals for your new name. Anything else?”

“May I look like you? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Minddy giggled as she slowly shook her head. “No you may not look like me. No twins in the coven…”

“Another rule.” Mitchell finished up for her before she said it.

“Right! Now, I’m only a thirty six. You don’t want more?” She held out her hands in front of her breasts.”

He shook his head. “no…, you’re perfect, you have a beautiful face, a perfect body. I don’t want to look like a bimbo or hooker. I want to look like you.”

“Mitchell, I believe you have too much of a Minddy obsession. You’ve been wanting to be a girl for so long you have become obsessed in your mind of what the perfect woman should look like. You make me regret I didn’t move away when your parents moved into town.
I stayed knowing what you were and hoping one day you would come to me and tell me your secret. I’ll ask the ladies to put a variable into the transformation. You may alter the design after it has been cast. That variable will cancel out after a year, giving you time to come to terms with your body.”

“New body?”

“No, it’s yours, the one locked away deep inside this outside facade wrapped around it.” She touched his chest with her finger.

He felt…, a shock deep down inside himself? No, it was more of an awakening from a long sleep. “What do I need to do?”

“Your parents have gone to the office party. Both will be wiped by the time they are delivered home, by taxi I might add. No one is allowing either of them to drive. Your brother Jeff is, as you mentioned, out at the lake with friends. All of them drinking in excess. Something I don’t agree with for anyone, but humans have it in their nature to over indulge in spirits. A sheriffs patrol will happen by and relieve everyone of their vehicle keys after breathalyzer tests. Cell phones will be drained of battery power so they can’t call for pickup. They will have to sleep it off out at the lake camped out in their vehicles.”

“The sheriff patrol really isn’t sheriff people are they?”

“Oh they are real alright. We work with them from time to time. We won’t do their job for them by naming suspects who they seek, but we do inform them at times on problems before someone dies. Like your brother and three of his friends wrapped around a bridge abutment if they tried to drive home. Tonight is your night to die, not your brother’s.”

“Thank you. Jeff and I never got along that well, but I still love him and my parents. Thank you for saving my family tonight.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s go meet five of my sisters. They are in the study waiting for you. It takes six to perform a transformation. I can’t do this by myself. None of us can.”

“Is it going to hurt?” He rose up from his chair the same time she did.

“No, you’ll be conscious. You must be for the transformation to be what you wish to become in your thoughts.”

“You can’t make me into one like you? What if I mess this up?”

“You won’t. What you have desired all your life is inside and she wants her freedom. Don’t be scared. You aren’t losing yourself, but becoming what you always were. Let me give you a hint from someone who has been there and done exactly what you are fixing to do.
Accept both your feminine side and your masculine side. Don’t treat him like you had to treat her and hide him away. What I’m looking at now is what you have been for eighteen years. If you close the door on him you’re only hurting yourself. Real women aren’t afraid of showing a little what everyone thinks is a masculine trait. A little assertiveness. Don’t allow yourself to be treated as only a sex toy though. The list is long, but you get the idea. You may be soft, comforting, non confrontational or enjoy sex if you want, use your woman’s wiles to entice men into doing what you want.”

Minddy took Mitchell by the hand and led him to the study. “You are going to receive power and strength most mortals don’t have. Do not let your anger, or your hate overwhelm your judgment, your compassion, your ability to forgive.”

When they stepped into the study, five women spread out around Mitchell in equal spaces. Minddy stepped into the imaginary sixth space. Mitchell was looking at the floor. Connie shook her head. “No circles, no pentagrams, no candles, no incense Rachel. Only six of us women are necessary to perform the transformation on someone who is willing and desires the change. Relax and wait for the old you to become what you have desired from the moment you knew you were truly a girl.

Mitchell turned completely around staring at each of the women. They were all stunningly beautiful. When he stopped he was staring at Minddy. She was the most beautiful of all the women there. Was it as she had told him, just an infatuation with a person he wanted to be since he first laid eyes on her eleven years earlier? Nothing has changed. He may not be allowed to look exactly like her, but he wanted to be close. Like a sister? He smiled. He knew exactly what he wanted.

All the women there smiled along with him as they knew what he had decided. Mental telepathy was one of the gifts when one became a witch in the coven. All six began speaking in perfect unison. chikhumbo cha moyo wanu chizikhala chanu gwiritsani ntchito mphatso zanu kuthandiza ena kuti asagwiritse ntchito molakwika mphamvu zanu phunzirani kuchokera kwa anzanu ndikumvera malamulo a panganoli osangoyenda ndi” (Your life's desire shall be yours. Use your gifts to help others. Do not abuse your powers. Learn from your peers and obey the rules of the coven. Never dabble with dark forces or go near the dark world)

“Welcome to the coven, Rachel Ann Hunter.”

She had closed her eyes as the ladies began chanting and still had them tightly shut, waiting for the promised transformation. Someone took her hands in theirs as others placed their hands on her shoulders.

“Open your eyes, Rachel.” Was the soft lilting voice of Minddy.

Rachel opened her eyes. Minddy was standing in front of her, holding her hands. “When will I…”

An amused smile spread across Minddy’s face. “Change? Sweety, you already are. You’re Rachel from now on until the day you die.”

Rachel lowered her head and stared. “I have breasts!”

Someone behind her snickered. “It’s a pair of things that comes with a woman’s body. Minddy, take care of your new charge. We’re gone. There's still some Halloween left and we are going to enjoy it.”

The study was empty of females except for Minddy and Rachel as Minddy backed up. “Take your time to adjust and accept Rachel is in charge now. I know you want to explore your body with your hands, eyes, and imagination. I did, but take your time. Rachel is here to stay and you have a lifetime ahead to understand and get to know her. I’d like to enjoy what’s left of this Halloween myself. What say we go turn on all the lights, start the mobiles out in the yard and invite the little trick or treaters up for some candy?”

Rachel nodded absently as she was still staring at her breasts. Slowly she brought her hands up to check if they were real. They were! When she cupped them with her hands she felt it all the way down to the deepest parts of her souls, both physical and spiritual. “Oh my god” She whispered.

I should have warned you. Your female body is a thousand times more sensitive than the male body.” Minddy smiled at her new friend. She took Rachel’s hand and led her back to the kitchen and the pantry. “Pick a basket. It’s a little late, but we can still pull some trick or treaters in.”

Minddy picked up a couple baskets herself before allowing Rachel to step in and pick up two more. As she headed for the front door and the porch, Rachel followed along behind. Minddy knew the girl was on autopilot and not thinking about what she was doing. Her mind was still overwhelmed with the change. She’d grow into it, all of them did eventually. Each one different and the time it took to adjust. There were so many factors involved before the change. How badly did they want to be a girl? How many years were they drummed into being male before the opportunity arrived for the transformation?

How strict were their parents? Did they punish their son if they showed any indication they might be leaning toward female or did they understand and try to help. The things in one’s life before the transformation were beyond measure, even with the powers the coven possessed. Calista was a mistake but not the first, nor would she be the last. Everyone tried to be careful and make sure before anyone was allowed to be transformed, but mistakes still happened.

The florescent, infrared, and ultraviolet lights in the yard and on the porch turned on. The creatures in the yard began moving or not, but still looked like they were, the way the lights played and danced around the yard. Minddy’s house was a favorite among all the trick or treaters, young and old alike. The monsters in her yard always seemed so real and the treats she passed out were always more than other places gave away.

Minddy always seemed to “try” and dress up scary, but seemingly always failed miserably. Her black Morticia costume was the present Halloween failure. The black dress was gothic and very realistic, along with her long, black, silken hair that reached past her butt. Her really dark eyes with the over abundance of dark makeup was real enough. But somehow Minddy misunderstood her lips were supposed to be dark not pretty peach. No skeleton earrings neither. They were gold, pearlized inlay with a cross.

Besides all the mistakes in her attire and makeup, she was just too darn pretty to bring off the evil witch look. Even her evil witch cackle sound more like a giggle than an evil witch. The littlest trick or treaters might have been scared of all the monsters and ghouls in her yard, but Minddy always seemed to be so warm and inviting, their fear was over ridden by their desire to receive some special treat from Minddy’s own hands. Minddy ooohed and awwwed over each little one’s costume telling them how real they looked or how cute they were.

Standing beside Minddy, Rachel was passing out extra treats after the trick or treaters had already received goodies from Minddy. She was also entranced by the ghosts, goblins and all the other monsters in the yard. They all seemed so real with the way the lights played on them.
She was fascinated by the costume Minddy was wearing. It certainly wasn’t what she was wearing when they retrieved the treats from the pantry. Her own clothes had changed as well. She was wearing a beautiful full, white, early century gown. Rings adorned her fingers, her blonde hair spread across her shoulders and down her back in tight spiraling curls. A golden multi strand necklace with a locket at the end, nestled between her breasts which were pushed up and very exposed by the Victorian gown. She wore a jeweled golden crown on her head. All the kids and even most of the adults were addressing her as Princess. Some who were still out in the street were even pointing her out to the little ones as a Princess.

She was a bigger draw to the little ones than Minddy. Maybe for tonight she was a Princess. Her fondest wish had come true and she felt like a Princess. No matter what the future brought, she was complete for the first time in her life.

Minddy’s eyes narrowed as she stared out into the yard. Some of those goblins, ghouls, and ghosts weren’t hers. She cast a magical net over everything all the way out to the street. As long as they didn’t follow anyone home, they were okay. BUT, a conversation was coming up after the last of the trick or treaters had left for the night.

“Minddy?” Rachel felt the magic when it was cast.

“Uninvited guests decided to drop in. They aren’t a problem. Barbara, Connie and well, all the ladies, are going to take you in and teach you everything you need to know. I guess the lessons will be starting earlier than anyone thought. You should stick around until I have a talk with our friends who decided to stop by.”

Rachel was looking around expecting to see more women. “Uninvited friends?”

“Yes! I’m not going to punish them. I’m going to explain some rules they have to follow.”

“Rules?”

“Yes, no scaring the trick or treaters. No following anyone home. And they must be gone anytime after midnight and before daylight. Or if they plan on hanging around, no showing themselves to the mortals. I refuse to allow my home to become a real haunted house.”

Rachel gulped, she hadn’t considered this aspect of the transformation and joining the coven. “I’m not sure I want to meet your uninvited guests.”

The End?