If Only in My Dreams

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"...if only in my dreams."

In memory to those who participated in the largest land battle the U.S. Army ever fought in unimaginable conditions which began 75 years ago.

HW Coyle

***

Dawn brought no relief from the cold that caused each and every paratrooper in Company A to shiver, as much from what he knew what was coming as from the cold. Those who could not resist doing so peered over the lip of his foxhole and out across the small clearing toward a tree line not more than fifty yards off that was occupied by the enemy. All night they’d listened as the sound of Germans tanks and halftracks carefully picked their way forward, settling into positions from which they would jump off once the dark leaden grey sky had lightened enough to allow them to launch another attack.

This attack would be heralded as all the others had been by a short but vicious barrage, one the soldiers feared as much as the prospect of facing German tanks, for the enemy shells often detonate long before they reached the ground. These tree bursts were proving far more deadly than the shellings the paratroopers had endured during previous campaigns, for instead of throwing off razor sharp shrapnel in a fan like patter along the ground, the incoming rounds went off high among the trees. The splintered remains of shattered trees were proving to be just as deadly as the chucks of metal that rained down on the hapless paratroopers, tearing at unexposed flesh and bone with all the cold efficiency of a butcher’s cleaver.

Within the confined of the foxhole he’d scrapped out with the help of another medic, Jerald Webb didn’t bother looking across the snow covered field. He was too busy inventorying the merger contents of his aid bag. This didn’t take long, for he’d received no resupply since they’d left Camp Mourmelon in France and headed north into Belgium. Even when he added what he had found in his fellow medic’s aid bag with his after his friend had been struck down in midstride by a stich of machinegun fire while responding to a pitiful cry for help, Webb knew if the attack they were all bracing for was as vicious as the last one, he’d not have enough to help those who would need his attention.

Having done all he could to prepare himself for the coming ordeal, Webb closed up his bag, slung it over his shoulder and eased back against the frozen wall of his foxhole, looking up as he did so at a tangle of tree branches high above him, wondering as he did so what kind of odds he would have of being able to crawl out of his hole if a German shell just happened to go off in their midst. In an effort to keep himself from dwelling on this, Webb pulled a glove stained with the blood of men whose lives he’d fought to save off his right hand by clamping down on the tip of the glove’s middle finger with his teeth and pulling his hand out. With his free hand he grasped the glove and tucked it away in a pocket of his field jacket least he lose it.

Bringing his right hand up to his mouth, he blew on fingers already growing numb from the bitter cold in a vain effort to warm it. Then, ever so carefully, he reached into his field jacket, snaking his fingers about until they lit upon the right breast pocket of his fatigue shirt. When they touched upon what he was looking for, he grasped a corner the small plastic pouch and ever so carefully pulled it out of his pocket.

Like a child unwrapping the most precious and wonderful Christmas gift he’d ever been given, Webb pealed away the edges of the plastic wrapping he used to protect a photo he’d carried with him into Normandy and throughout the campaign in Holland. Cupping the photo in his hands, he looked down at the image of a young woman wearing an innocent little smile who was shyly returning his gaze.

As it had always done in the past, the memory of the day on which the photo had taken succeeded in taking Jerald Webb back to a time and place that was, for him, filled with nothing but happiness. The hope that he might one day be able to set aside all that he had seen and been trough since that day and once more recapture the beauty of that moment was the only thing that kept him going, enduring the horrors that filled his days and haunted him as he slept.
“You never have told me who she is,” a voice called out, catapulting Webb back to the grim reality of the snow filled Belgium wood.

Craning his head around, Webb saw the company first sergeant crouching down on the edge of his foxhole behind him. Fumbling about like a child who’d been caught by a parent looking at dirty postcards, Webb flipped the photo over in his hand before hurriedly rewrapping it in the plastic he used to protect it.

The first sergeant suddenly regretted disturbing what would probably be the only moment of true peace Webb would be able to enjoy that day. “She must be very special to you,” the first sergeant muttered in an effort to fill the awkward silence as he watched the young medic go about returning the photo to his breast pocket, the one closest to his heart. “Is she your girl?”

“No,” was all Webb muttered as he went about pulling the glove he’d stuffed in his pocket out and slipping his right hand into it without bothering to look back over his shoulder at the first sergeant least that man see the blush rising in his cheeks.

“Well, if she’s not, whoever she is I expect she will make some man very happy one day,” the first sergeant replied as he slowly rose to his feet.

“She already has,” Webb whispered to himself as he recalled the day his friend had taken the photo of him.

Deciding it would be best not to press the medic on the matter, the first sergeant turned his attention to the reason he’d stopped by Webb’s hole. “I expect you’re going to have one hell of a day,” he opined as he took to scanning once peaceful woods already brutally scared by war. “I hope you’re ready.”

“I am,” Webb replied softly as he patted the spot on his field jacket covering his photo.

~

"I'll Be Home for Christmas" is a Christmas song recorded in 1943 by Bing Crosby who scored a top ten hit with the song. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" has since gone on to become a Christmas standard.

The song is sung from the point of view of an overseas soldier during WWII, writing a letter to his family. In the message, he tells the family that he will be coming home, and to prepare the holiday for him including requests for "snow", "mistletoe", and "presents on the tree". The song ends on a melancholy note, with the soldier saying "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams."

~

On 16 December 1944 the Germans attacked American forces defending a stretch of the front in the Ardennes Forest. In what would become known as the Battle of the Bulge, 610,00 Americans participate in the bloodiest battle fought by the US in World War II, resulting in 19,000 dead and 70,000 wounded. The 101st Airborne Division was surrounded in Bastogne, Belgium from 20 December until 27 December. Of the 11,000 men of the division who went into the fight, more than 2,000 became casualties during those eight days.

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Comments

Well known to me

When we lived in Antwerp we did a lot of traveling to see the various sites and memorials from WW2. My father served in the USN during the war and felt we needed to see these places to truly understand what happened.

Bastogne is one that has really stayed in my mind. It was cold and raining when we were there and gave me a bit of an idea of what the American soldiers must have gone through.

I admit I enjoyed the story of General "Nuts" McNulty, such an American thing he did. It was related so well in the movie, I wish I could have been there to see the astonishment on the Germans' faces! It was quite evident the high regard in which he was held by the people of Luxembourg. Many had thought the American forces would throw in the towel and either retreat or surrender. Instead the general's response served to give heart to the people that the Americans would stay and fight, just as they had promised.

Aren't many people that know or care to remember the backstory of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" by Bing Crosby. I get annoyed when I hear it used in various inappropriate ways, in upbeat tempos and poorly modified lyrics. I loved the scene in "White Christmas" when Crosby sang it dressed as a GI in a battlezone. It captured the meaning and purpose of the song so well.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

So Do I

I carry a very similar picture in an inside pocket of my wallet, protected by a plastic carrier.

What a good short story, and seasonal too!

My oldest conscious memory is of having VE day explained to me nearly 75 years ago. The living drama of the Battle of the Bulge, and the siege of Bastogne over the Christmas period of 1944 was way outside my awareness, and as a Brit it probably would have been if I had been old enough at the time. I have however studied the history of WWII avidly since then. Remember, the Airborne troops were surrounded knowingly, and remember also the truth described in "Band of Brothers". When they were warned that they would be fighting surrounded by the enemy, they replied "it's what we trained for", even if the actual quote may have been literary fiction.
We should remember our allies.
Dave