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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, We hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
The Crown will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which We do not fancy).
My Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Your Senate and your House of Representatives will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To facilitate your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
1. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol(which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing 'American football.' There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, as they regularly thrash us.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is hardly played outside of North America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
14. You must tell Us who killed JFK. It's been driving Us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from My Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
/s/ Elizabeth R.
Comments
Um, I have a question?
Is the *Queen* one of your sons?
Death to tyrants!
And why should we listen to people with terrible dental hygiene? Plus the Prince of Wales has ears like Dumbo the Elephant.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
to Her Royal Majesty... Queen Elizabeth II
You Majesty,
I hear by serve notice to you, that I would like my families Title and Lands Reinstated before you take over this country...
I also apply for the position of Governer of the Colonies...
Sincerly
Sonai67
Sonai67
R's
But can we still pronounce Rs -- I mean they are right there in the word and everything. And Dr. Johnson even said they were never silent.
BTW - even the OED doesn't buy this replacement of ize in words with Greek roots with the French spelling. (A resent innovation)
:)
Excuse me, Your Majesty
Andie MacDowell's character wasn't English in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
She hasn't attempted to sound British since Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, when it was so horrible they had to hire someone else to dub her lines.
Come to Boston
Everybody come to Boston, looks like we're serving cold tea in the harbor again.
Lets sort this uppity bitch out once and for all, we all know she ordered the hit on Di.
Oh, wait... no we don't want Kansas either =)
She has a point, but....
perhaps you Her Sovereign Majesty has a good point that i agree with. voting for bush, TWICE. But the United Kingdom isnt much better itself. Right now they are in a clash with radical wahabis voting 49 percent to create separate states under shariah law. I doubt the United Kingdom can spare the attention needed to impose their rule over the United States as present.
To respond to point # 13...
Since I like that number so much... Someone ELSE can look at the rest of the inanity.
Implying that only Americans play baseball may be very surprising to a few people in Asia... Some of the best pro players, are Japanese. Hmmm. I wonder how much stuff in the UK comes from Japan. I understand the Emperor likes the game. While I admit that he is a wee bit younger than Queen Elizabeth II (~ 7 1/2 years), his father was a diety... Well, he was until they lost WWII anyway. He also attended Queen Elizabeth's coronation, and on a visit 10 years ago, he was invested in the order of the garter.
Enough about the Japanese.
The Cubans, Hatians and Dominicans also play a LOT of baseball, and to the best of my knowledge NONE of their countries are part of the US, nor do they have any desire to be part...
I thought about responding with 13 points, but decided this was sufficient.
Annette
Copies to: Emperor Akahito, President Raul Castro, President Leonel Fernandez and President Rene Preval.
P.S. This is in jest, as was the original blog entry, which I've seen variations of for years.
More, more!
I hereby pledge obeisance to anyone except the current U.S. caudillo.
marie c.
marie c.
Winning Words
I herewith vote Marie C. the Accomplished Grammarian Award, for her use of obeisance and caudillo in the same sentence.
In Response To Queen Elizebeth-ll :-)
So, you want to rescind our independence that we won from you, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN DO IT? After all, WE were the ones that saved your nation in W.W.I and W.W. II and we have been the main supporters of N.A.T.O. So if you really want to take over, then replace us on the world scene as the World Police.
On the other hand, maybe some of your ideas would work as long as you take Kansas as well. :-)
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
God Save The Queen
Who is more boring and stuck up George Bush Jr or Prince Charles? I say it is a tie.
Don't forget they did such a great job with India and the Falklands.
Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.
Oh, Stan
Oklahoma and Kansas have a mutual defense pact with Texas, so watch yo' mouth! ;-)
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Huh??? Who saved the world?
Let's see, Britain held off a war machine that include three nations, each of about its size, and which controlled the resources and peoples of area an area much larger than the current EU, for over three years, while the US (slowly) built an army, navy, and the tools they needed. They threw their entire population and their whole economy into the process, and into the balance as well (something the US did not do.) They continued the fight when they probably could have made peace both after Dunkirk and after the Battle of Britain. (Which probably would not have prevented the Pacific War, nor an eventual ally-less war against the Nazis for the US anyway, and would certainly have meant the rest of Russia would have fallen.)
But we saved them?? Not exactly, Stan. (Thank you, Britain.)
Jan
Indeed...
By the time the US showed up, the combinattion of fierce (indeed, incredible) British (and French) resistence and the efforts of the Russians on the Eastern Front, which were so single-minded as to leave their "half" of the war the bloodiest conflict in human history, with a total of thirty millions of dead, and many more wounded, on both sides.
Germany's war of aggression, whose primary and ultimate object was to seize all of western Russia, was already lost by the time of the US entry into battle, although the Germans hadn't quite realised it yet. The Axis, mostly Germany but with peripheral particpation by Italy, lost between three to five millions of soldiers on the Eastern Front. Their losses on the Western Front were a small fraction of that, perhaps 2-300,000, a large number of which were at the hands of the French (before their defeat) and the British.
By what stretch of the imagination can the USA claim credit for the whole match when what they really did was to waltz onto the field after most of the best German soldiers were dead or wounded, against an army consisting by that time of old men and young boys for the most part, although there were a few effective German units, but even these often had few supplies?
American industrial power made far more difference than did American soldiers, as US shipments to the Russians made their resistance to incvasion more effective, and strengthened Britain and others among the allies.
The Americans like to sneer at the French, and even the British, puffing up a false "spin" on the war, but the wartime casualties and deprivations experienced by both these countries beggar those of the USA on a per capita basis, which is the only real measure of sacrifice and loss.
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Agreed
... to a major extent, anyway. Some people in the US get carried away, and when they say, "We won the war," or "You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for us," I cringe. However, sometimes the Europeans get carried away, too. I've heard it said that the US arrived late to the fight and so forth. The truth is somewhere in between. I believe it goes back to before WWI. At that time, the US admired European culture, but thought of its collective politics as a sewer. WWI had nothing to do with the US, and the US military in those days was third rate, at best. It took some time to get going. When the US arrived in Europe, tremendous casualties had already sapped both sides, and the US' impact was rather considerable as a result. The US hardly "won" that war, but they were pretty much the hammer that broke Germany's weary back.
The millions of slaughtered men, and the Treaty of Versailles, which brought Germany to her knees instead of reforming her, something Wilson detested, left a very bad taste in America's mouth, so it took quite a bit to rouse them for yet another war in Europe they had no part in starting. After the Battle of Britain, opinion shifted enough to start Lend Lease, which contributed about $700 billion, at today's prices, to Europe, the lion's share going to the UK. Unlike WWI, this was not repaid, nor was it meant to be, except for the loan of land for use as military bases. The Europeans tend to discount this, and like to forget that the US essentially fought the war against Japan by itself until the very last days -- a war, by the way, that was nearly as nasty as the one fought in Europe. In terms of cruelty, and numbers of dead, Imperial Japan was on par with the Nazis, and if the atomic bombs hadn't come along when they did, several more millions more would have died -- mostly Japanese.
The USSR certainly lost the most people, but much of that was due to Stalin, who had killed most of his trained officer corps, and the resulting open-wave tactics killed many millions. My German teacher was a decorated infantryman who fought on the Russian front and did he have some stories. Regardless what some people say, it's an open question whether or not the USSR could have survived if Germany didn't have to split their resources on two fronts. Even poorly supplied, the Germans very nearly took Moscow and captured or killed Stalin.
It may well be that casualties and deprivations are the only real measure of sacrifice and loss, but, as they say, "Amateurs study tactics, professionals study logistics." The US war machine cranked out tremendous quantities of ships, aircraft, tanks, and supplies, as well as brought millions of soldiers to the conflict. You might be surprised to know how many of those Merlin engines were manufactured by Packard, not to mention the proximity fuses which were so effective against V1's, and the high octane gasoline that radically increased horsepower. Once again, the US didn't win the war, but it quite possibly was the difference in it, and provided cover for a weakened Europe against the USSR afterwards.
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
and in the Pacific . . .
Hmm, this is spinning off in an interesting direction. Aardvark, you said in the midst of a thoughtful entry that I otherwise agree with that "The Europeans . . . like to forget that the US essentially fought the war against Japan by itself until the very last days -- a war, by the way, that was nearly as nasty as the one fought in Europe." That's only half-true. Japan struck the Brits and Dutch in Southeast Asia and the US in the Philippines and Pearl Harbor in a desperate attempt to break the blockade that it believed was preventing it from defeating China, which it invaded in 1937. In 1941, there were already four or five million underequiped and poorly supplied Chinese soldiers in the field, both Red and White. Backed up by the Flying Tigers, etc., they never quit.
The British, Dutch and the Australian forces were no match for Japan's ferocious strike south, and as a result, a very large number of these countries' soldiers and civilians were taken prisoner and endured or failed to survive hellacious conditions as POWs (viz, the Bridge on the River Kwai, an old movie but still a great one: Alex Guinness takes on Sessue Hayakawa). Many Aussies, New Zealanders and a fair number of Brits and Indians played a valiant and significant part in the counteroffensive against Japan, in Burma, New Guinea, the Solomons and a number of other battlefields. Only the Russians, who declared war against Japan a week before their surrender and as a result pinched off Manchuria and the northern half of Korea for "socialism" deserve none of the credit for winning the Pacific War. Daphne
Daphne
I don't discount ...
... the British, NZ's or the Aussies efforts in the war in the Pacific. They fought magnificently, but one has to face facts, as smaller countries, and with the British fighting for their existence in Europe, they simply didn't have the numbers, nor did they have anywhere near the firepower the US could bring to bear. I wasn't thinking of the Chinese, but you're right. They tied down about a million Japanese who would have otherwise fought elsewhere in the Pacific. They Chinese suffered nearly as much as the Russians did -- about 20 million vs. 24 million deaths and, leaving out the gory details, incredible brutality. The US also supported the Chinese, and sent a fair portion of aid their way, too. Nonetheless, the Chinese were crippled to a large degree by infighting: Chiang's forces were a bunch of barely controlled warlords, and the Communists were always a tenuous, temporary alliance.
Regardless, sacrifice does not win wars, breaking things and killing one's enemy does. The US did the heavy lifting and, with the Philippinos, who didn't have the firepower, but who were damn fine, brave fighters, drove out the Japanese from the Philippines; US submarines destroyed Japanese shipping (which made the end of the war inevitable, in my opinion); wiped out most of their fleet; isolated and eliminated their island forces; and was, with my 20 year-old father part of the invasion force, ready to invade Japan just before Hiroshima and Nagasaki finally ended the war and possibly saved a future Aardvark for humanity to enjoy. :) Despite rumors to the contrary, the Japanese were not close to surrendering. Even after Nagasaki, the Emperor had to break a tie in his cabinet and vote to surrender, and then escape a plot to kidnap him by forces who wanted to fight on. As the Japanese were already eating below subsistence levels, the quick surrender prevented who knows how many million of deaths from starvation, not to mention the grim cost of the fight-to-the-death strategy the Japanese population were ready and willing to use.
Could the US have won the war in the Pacific by themselves? Sort of a false hypothetical, as it would never have happened that way, but yes, in the absence of other allied forces, it would have been possible. It would have been a lot harder, cost millions of more lives, and taken longer, but yeah, especially as millions more Americans from Europe, and all the US war resources, were freed up after V-E day. The US, remember, was fighting two major wars simultaneously, with most of its assets going to the European theater.
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
for the emperor
Aardvark, your comment about the Japanese facing starvation as their supplies dwindled made me think of a great novel I read about the war in the Pacific. Fires on the Plain by Ooka Shohei. One of those bleak postwar Japanese novels. It was the narrative of a Japanese private fighting in the Phillipines, living on a tiny palmful of rice every day, and whatever chickens and such they could commandeer. Then he gets got cut off from his platoon and really starts starving, wanders around thinking about his life, the war etc. Written in I think 1950, I was surprised at how un-nationalistic it was. Finally he meets a band of deserters who have this huge pot of stew, and he's pigging out, until he finds out the "secret ingredient", and just snaps! (Based loosely on documented incidents.) In the 60's they made a film of Fires on A Plain, which I haven't seen*.
~~~hugs, Laika
.
(*I ordered from Netflicks but they sent me Snakes on A Plane, which is based on another fine Japanese postwar existentialist novel. Or maybe a Japanese game show.)
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
Hey Queenie!
I don't know how you express this reply in "proper" English, but commonly here in the Sovereign State of Texas we would say something like:
We ain't part of you, we ain't never been part of you, we kicked the Mexican's rear-ends, and if you don't behave we'll kick yours! Go ahead and send your sissy boys, SAS boys, whatever they are over. Some of our greener Rangers need a mite extra workout to build up an appetite 'fore breakfast. Oh, yeah, send your fancy (or is that nancy) boy soccer players over, we'll put 'em up against the Cowboys. Your wimps will be wishing they had that Kevelar body armour, kind like that one the guy made for playing with grizzly bears, only with extra padding. And you'll never get our guns 'cause as long as we have ammunition our hands will never be cold & dead. And we got lots of ammo!
So KMA! ;-)
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Interesting concept
So let's suppose the queen really could invalidate the Declaration of Independence and reclaim only the original thirteen colonies (Let's add Vermont, Maine, and West Virginia, too, since they split off from pieces of the thirteen). Well, the UK gave up their colonies in North America a long time ago, and they formed the nation of Canada, so I'd assume that any new British territory would become Canadian by default. So what would the map look like if those sixteen states became new Canadian provinces, and the other thirty-four stayed the USA? Where would the new US put its capital? What would America be if "East Coast" meant Florida? Would a Canadian from South Carolina use maple syrup to make sweet tea?
Then we could
Give California back to Mexico. Yeah, great idea! 'Course Texas, having kicked out the Spanish and their lackeys way back when, remains free and strong. :-)
KJT
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Texas...
>> Give California back to Mexico. Yeah, great idea! 'Course Texas, having kicked out the Spanish and their lackeys way back when, remains free and strong. :-)
Although we mustn't forget *why* the Texians kicked out the Mexicans, because the then Mexican President, Anastasio Bustamante, had had the audacity to outlaw slavery, as most civilised countries around that time were in the process of doing, but which institution the free and strong white squatters and insurrectionists who comprised the US invaders were strongly in favour of. Three cheers for Simon Legree and other patriotic slave drivers! Remember the Alamo, and what it really stands for!
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Texas
I grew up in Houston, and as much as I hate to admit it, slavery was one of the issues that pushed Texas to independence. Texas was very underpopulated in the early 1800's -- a ridiculous number, something around 2,500 Mexicans. Anglos were encouraged to settle there, partly to establish some sort of economy and partly to act as a buffer to the Indian population, who weren't always friendly. Under a deal they made with Mexico, the immigrants were given large tracks of land and permitted slavery, and many of the first Anglos who came were slave owners. All they had to do in return was to obey the laws, practice Catholicism, the state religion, (which wasn't enforced, BTW) and basically be good citizens. I'm kind of fuzzy on the figures, but I think that by the time of the revolution, there were perhaps 30,000 Anglos, far fewer Hispanic Mexicans, and maybe 5,000 slaves -- an unusually high percentage and indicative of a slave economy. Mexico went back and forth on the slavery issue, first prohibiting it, then allowing it, then granting exemptions to the Texans, then finally prohibiting it officially, but not enforcing the law in Texas. I wouldn't say that it was THE factor in the revolution -- that was more of an unavoidable cultural issue, as the Anglos spoke English, weren't Catholics, and had strong shared values with the US, and Mexico could be rather high-handed when they wanted to -- but it was a key factor.
I'll stop now. I feel like I've been hijacking the thread.
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
Hi Jack!
How bad is it to hijack a thread who's purpose is to poke fun at Anglo-American relations? Answer: Not very! We've merely broadened the scope to include various other ethnic and cultural groups, all in the name of humor. Or is that humour? :-)
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
queen ya for a bunch of sissys
verry sorry it wont workwe kicked thar but more than one time we can due it again and who like leters and ponds and all that stuff what wrong with gal and other things we have in the us owell i hope some one can finger it out and as far as i care the uk is a bunch of nancy boys or as we say here sissys have a good one
whildchild
mr charlles r purcell
verry good story i wood love to see a lot more of this all i can say is wow verry good thanks for shareing
What?!!!?
All them English is a buncha nancy boys + sissies?
What's scary to me is I think that insult was for real,
and I can think of at least 3 reasons why it's inappropriate here.
~~just my opinion /// LAIKA
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
yeah, well...
I pretty much agree. Sissy is probably in my top dozen least fave words. But I don't think I'm gonna get too worked up about it here. Our ol' hippie mate there did really enjoy the 60's I suspect. Besides, he always amazes with his comment strings of ah, words. Gotta smile.
Besides I'm ignoring this one. Just because the bleedin' Sarth Effricans beat us the other week, we still rate a mention I reckon. Hmmph.
Kristina
WIth Utmost Respect...
...To the Private Secretary of Her Majesty the Queen,
Could you please convey to Her Majesty that, whilst I'm sure that with affairs of State weighing so heavily on her mind, or possibly in sympathy toward yHer new subjects, Her Majesty has slightly mispelt the metal aluminium as aluminum, forgetting what every schoolchild knows, that most metals in the periodic table of elements take the suffix -ium, although it's a general Latin suffix used to turn verbs into nouns. Mind you, I'm not surprised that she's gone and misremembered, since the Royals are most of them a bit thick at times. Not their fault, of course. Inbreeding and all.
Cheerio,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
The 'I's have it.
The Queen has the right of it.
Charles Martin Hall is considered the originator of the American spelling, or more correctly mis-spelling, of aluminium.
Originally Americans adopted -ium to fit the standard form of the periodic table of elements, for most of the nineteenth century, with aluminium appearing in Webster's Dictionary of 1828. In 1892 Hall misspelled it on a handbill publicizing his aluminium refinement process used the -um spelling in an advertising handbill for his new electrolytic method of producing the metal, despite his constant use of the -ium spelling in all the patents[24] he filed between 1886 and 1903.
In 1926, the American Chemical Society officially decided to use 'aluminum' in its publications; American dictionaries typically label the spelling aluminium as a British variant in spite of the fact that The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) adopted aluminium as the standard international name for the element in 1990.
It's probably because Americans have difficulty with longer words, but it may just be that the publishers of Webster's Dictionary were conscious of the high cost of printer's ink and, times then as ever being hard, wished to economise their production costs. This would also account for all those missing 'u's. As nobody outside the USA uses Webster's this was not noticed for many years and is now excepted as just another rather endearing idiosyncrasy by the rest of the English speaking world.
Hugs,
P.S. Some of the above was cribbed from Wikipedia to refresh an uncertain memory. Some is my own unique contribution to world knowledge and a better understanding between nations.
But Davy
Yes, but Humphry Davy, who identified but did not isolate the element, spelled it without the 'i', following the form of its latin root. But I always know what is meant with either spelling or either pronunciation. There are a lot of elements with out the 'i' too, platinum comes to mind.
Did you know that Napoleon III and Eugenie had aluminium table ware but saved it for special guest. It was too valuable to use at everyday banquets. (That was before the Hall-Héroult process was discovered.)
In defence of HRH Queen Elizabeth
She was right about one thing...
Your collective spelling is appalling and by the way - it's SOLDER not SODDER as you lot pronounce it. Solder is an alloy of tin and lead often with a flux to clean the area upon which the solder must flow, thus ensuring adhesion. Sodder is -- well, I don't know what it is.
I don't just look it, I really AM that bad...
lots of dialects around
I, for one, pronounce that L, but there are an awful lot of dropped letters running around on that side of the pond, for you to bring this up. How do you pronounce 'around', by the way? Brother? Worcestershire?
Least Explicable
One of the oddest (to me) English pronounciations is the surname "Marjoriebanks," which is apparently rendered as "march-banks".
One of my favorite jokes (after it was explained to me by my native English tv-watching companion and all-around better half) made on the British tv show "Rumpole of the Bailey," was dear Rumpole himself giving the spelling and pronounciation of his name to someone he felt like tweaking. "That's R-U-M-P-O-L-E, pronounced mar-jor-ie-banks."
Another One
How do you get Grovener out of Grosvenor?
And then there is…
…Cholmundley (or something like that) which is pronounced "Chumley".
Gabi
We Brits love doing it differently.
Gabi.
Funnily enough ...
... I come from a family where soldering (both soft and silver) was an important feature of our stock-in-trade; watchmaking, jewellery and electronics. Both my uncle (20+ years older than my father) and my grandfather always pronounced it as 'soddering', though Dad never did. My grandfather was born in about 1860 and my uncle in 1885 so it's an old tradition.
Sadly it's becoming very difficult easily to buy lead/tin solder (bloody 'health and safety'!!) and we're being fobbed off with so-called 'lead free' solder. Fortunately I have a sufficient supply of the real thing to last me out. I've been using lead/tin solder since I was a toddler and it's never done me any harm ... pause for maniacal laughter.
On the main topic - as a staunch UK Republican, I wouldn't recommend you Yanks take up the old bat's less then generous offer. Accepting a dysfunctional family as hereditary heads of state would seem to be a step too far. Although the thought of an anti-science medievalist throw back like Ms Palin just one heart beat away from being in control of the world's only super power scares the shit out of me even more than the antics of those other medievalists fundamental Islamists gives me doubts, I still think elections are the way to go.
btw I can't help feeling I've seen this message from Betty posted elsewhere in the past.
Geoff
HIlarious
I first saw a version of this circulating as an old purple ink spirit ditto flyer in 1968, that's the funniest part. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Now Let's Hear It from the Brits
I posted Her Majesty's edict six hours ago -- us colonials have had a fair go at it -- and now the BCTS regulars are just waking up in Britain and surely will be heard from.
Face it, fellow Yanks -- would they really want us all back? Or perhaps they'll just agree to give George Bush II asylum when we run him out of Washington on a rail.
Hugs, Daphne
Daphne
You can bugger off
You keep him. He's your problem, you deal with it.
He's your responsibility. We've got enough to worry about without some halfwit like him fouling up the system. We don't need his help, we can do that well enough on our own.
"The trouble with the French is they have no word for entrepreneur" Bush
I don't just look it, I really AM that bad...
thank you, but can you adapt as well?
according to linguistic scholars english as it's spoken in boston ma is closer to 17th century english than the version currently in use in polite london society (cf bill bryson, 'made in america'), so we urge your majesty to adapt your vowel sounds. as mayor quincy says, it's chow-DERE.
alternatively, please start pronouncing things the way the welsh do - it's hot.
i've got a pound of tea in the kitchen you can have in lieu of back taxes.
not as think as i smart i am
Stuck In The Past
TG'ers: a lot of your comments are still stuck back in World War II which I am old enough to remember out here in California. Most of the troops who came through here during those years were deploying to the Pacific. Many never came back except in a box, or came back with pieces missing. They did their job as did the ones who went to Britain and continental Europe. We owe them a lot and all too frequently gave them little in return when they needed help. Here in the states we're still fumbling with their lives after Korea, Vietnam and Iraq, sometimes disastrously.
But now is now, not 1939-45. From my point of view a lot of what they fought for is being erased by incompetent leadership, incompetent diplomacy, lies about why we are in Iraq coupled with inadequate equipment for the troops and outright corruption by the corporations which supply them. That's not to mention the deliberate effort to eliminate/denigrate public schools, hospitals and the social safety nets here in the States. Those of you in Britain should re-visit the efforts of Mrs. Thatcher a few decades back as well as the complicity of your Prime Minister in starting the current Middle East war.
Ladies, WWII is long past. Even the Cold War is past though some on this side of the pond would like to see it revived as it would help keep them and their cronies in power. We now have "terrorism" to take the place of the Cold War and keep us afraid so we will keep spending on bombers, tanks, super missile systems, spy programs and the devil take the hindmost. "Terrorism" is doing its job at keeping us in thralldom.
While I am hoping for a change over here in the States don't be surprised if Americans vote to "stay the course" with all of the obvious future consequences for those of us here as well as abroad in your countries.
marie c.
marie c.
You Poms And Yanks
Are all up yaselves. I saw this "blog" or something similar years ago. And I say the Brits would be starkers to want the USA back. Long live President Palin,
Joanne
Don't forget ...
... Mr. Howard of Oz who did his bit to keep the war going.
marie c.
marie c.
Back Off Brenda
As a republican Welsh nationalist I'd have to oppose any attempts by the Crown to reimpose itself on former colonies that had won self-determination, especially when Americans of Welsh ancestry were so prominent in the struggle for indpendence...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Welsh-Americans
and on the Washington Monument...
Halfway up the steps of the monument is an inscription in Welsh: Fy iaith, fy ngwlad, fy nghenedl Cymru — Cymru am byth (My language, my land, my nation of Wales — Wales for ever). The reason for this inscription and its author are unknown. (wiki)
On the other hand...
There were many Welshmen amongst the signers of the Declaration of Indpendence, perhaps one in five, including Thomas Jefferson, who spoke Welsh fluently. Perhaps it was placed in his honour... Perhaps, like the Kennedy's they harked back to Arthur's Camelot, and imagined their "New Order" to be something like the Round Table.
From the web:
Knights Templar Vault -- Templar History and Lore
Medieval Knights Templar History Blog and Resources
This page deals primarily with the history of Medieval Knights Templar, largely leaving aside modern followers. For a few years I have been working on a little leisurely project, translating Nicholas Guertler's Historia Templariorum (History of the Templars), an antique book which represents a very early attempt to come up with an 'unbiased' treatise of the Knights' Templar history. I will be publishing little excerpts from this rare book available on this site. There are numerous additional rare materials that I feel necessary to share here, mostly translations of original documents, creating Templar archives of sorts. There will also be blog posts related to the history of the Knights Templar, as well as materials about Medieval History in general: books, movies, online resources - anything that I stumble upon that could be of interest. There a many dubious and mythical ideas about Middle ages and the Order of the Knights Templar in particular. I will definitely not be avoiding those, although I tend to be rather skeptical...
Washington monument inscriptions: Welsh and Latin
Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 06:11 PM - Dan Brown Templar Watch, Knights Templar Symbols, Religion, Christianity, The Templar Legacy, Unsolved Mysteries and Secrets
Posted by Knights Templar Vault
Washington monument
The Washington monument in the eponymous capital of the United States is crowned with a metal cap. Among other inscriptions, the cap displays the words LAUS DEO, which in Latin means "Praise be to God", or more literally "Praise to God". The inscription most likely reveals some sort of Masonic connection.
More interestingly, Wikipedia informs us of the following:
Halfway up the steps of the monument is an inscription in Welsh: Fy iaith, fy ngwlad, fy nghenedl Cymru — Cymru am byth (My language, my land, my nation of Wales — Wales for ever). The reason for this inscription or its author is unknown.
Washington Monument (Wikipedia article)
At the very least we know that this is not some sort of Elfish language :) But seriously, "the reason for this inscription or its author is unknown"? You may wait for Dan Brown's new novel, "The Solomon Key", to find out what this inscription is all about. I am sure the truth will be most entertaining, as Dan Brown explores the dark secrets of Masonic symbolism in the nation's capital. But if you don't feel like waiting, here is what I uncovered:
"In 1834 a dinner was held by the Welsh residents of New York, presided over by E. W. Davis, and aided by T. Ingram Tones and the late Daniel L. Jones. The success of the dinner suggested the idea of organizing a Welsh national society, and a draft of the constitution nnd by-laws for such a society was made. Out of this initiative grew the present St. David Society, which has helped hundreds of distressed Welshmen who have stranded on their arrival In the United States. Daniel L. Jones was president in 1863. Among its presidents have been Gen. Thomas L. James. Hon. Noah Davis, Ellis H. Roberts, the present United States Treasurer, and a score of other prominent Americans. It was through Mr. Jones that the government permitted a stone to be placed in the Washington monument to represent the little principality. This stone was imported from a quarry near Swansea. It bears the following inscription: Fy iaith. Fy Ngwlad, Ky Nghenedl. Wales. Cymru am Byth! Mr. Daniel L. Jones was a faithful, consistent and patriotic Welshman."
The Cambrian, a monthly magazine, Vol. XVIII, 1898.
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
The inscription is likely on a donated stone
Many cities and countries around the Worlsd sent commemorative stone blocks for the interior walls of the monument. In the mid 1970s when I visited the monument, they still let you walk down if you wanted. It takes almost half an hour. The stone the Vatican sent was thrown away and found later but many nations, states, cities and others have engraved stones inside.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
'tis all moot, the end is nigh
The worlds ending tomorrow, hey there's even court cases to stop it. Those goofy scientists at Cern are going to particle accelerate us into a black hole and maybe the galaxy with us while searching for the God particle. Sounds like fun. I did have a couple of stories I wanted to finish, not to mention a few other things in the wider sense. But... I hope dark matter is soft and warm. Space is supposed to be cold. Don't fancy cold. Still, as long as they find something worthwhile eh, a little sacrifice. At least the pollies go out too, preferably without a speech. Hah.
Kristina
we'll get the blame
The scientist in charge is actually Welsh :)
it could happen
Hey it could happen! Just people believed that the first primitive locomotives would kill their passengers because of their going over 35 mph! Or how about being afraid during the first Atom bomb tests because of fears it would ignite the atmosphere? Besides EVERYOnE know that the world ends in 2012! :)
Hugs!
grover
2012
The Mayan millennium, I presume?
Eric
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