When we arrived at my B&B, Charles was delighted to see us. He truly was an avid people person and quickly got Tina and her mom into a rapt conversation.
“Enough about my world travels. I'm bored listening to my same old stories. I want to know about you. How did you and Christina's dad meet?” Charles inquired with a smile. As Maria gathered her thoughts to answer, it was clear from her expression that even Tina didn't know this tale.
“I was in Rome with my family, taking a year between high school and college. My father was an executive with SDS data systems and overseeing the installation of a new mainframe at Banca D'Italia and the training of the local I.T. staff. Mom & I were along because he knew it would be a long project and held out for his family to accompany him on this project. Mom & I were both excited. She had never been to Rome and I had never been....anywhere. I made some friends. Mostly ex-pats.... diplomat's kids and other outsiders.... but also a few bored locals who took to strangers as the next best thing to being able to afford to travel themselves.
I was with some girlfriends on a weekend trek to Naples. We wanted to see Pompei and see if all the stories we heard about Salerno were true. We met some boys. Some local boys.... or so we thought. We tried to convince them that we were all from Rome. ….well we were but we tried to convince them that we were all Rome natives. Lucia and Gia were, of course but Sofia was Serbian, Mona was Irish, and I was just a girl from Brazil.”
Upon Charles' raised eyebrow Maria let out a nervous giggle. “Oh, God no. Not Brazil the country! ….Brazil Indiana! Couldn't be less like Brazil the country.” She paused a moment as if it was the first time the thought occurred to her “yet my family is Portuguese ...and we settled in Brazil.” She barked a laugh. “Obviously the wrong Brazil!”
I caught Tina's rapt attention on every word her mom said. This was obviously the first time she heard any of it. Thank you Charles.
Tina's mom took a moment and composed herself. “So.... we convinced these boys we were all Italian.... which should have spilled to us that they obviously were NOT because they should have seen right through our stories.” She smiled to herself. “Obviously neither of us saw through the others bluff.”
Maria smiled wickedly. “I still remember...... They were Don – Donatello. Leo – Leonardo. Mike – Michalengelo. And Rafe – Raphael.”
I snerked. Maria caught it and nodded with a wicked smile. Charles caught it too and shared a wicked grin with me.
“Turtles all the way down.” I grinned. Maria nodded with a wicked smile.
“Not quite all the way!” She grinned. “The boy I fell for instantly was Rudy.” She cocked her head and shot me a “get it?” glare.
I just returned a puzzled look. Like Tina. Though something told me Charles had an inkling.
“Rudolpho.” She smiled at me. I continued returning a bewildered glare. “...Laspari....”
Charles snickered. Something was tickling my brain. Tina's mom was generous. She gave me time to get it.
“The greatest tenor since Caruso.” I grinned. She blushed.
“I had no idea.” She smiled. I nodded with a grin. Obviously she was not raised by a TV showing old Marx Brothers movies. Thanks mom & dad.
“So we all convinced these 'local boys' that we were sophisticated city girls from Rome come down to explore the ruins of Pompeii..... and take in ….the local culture” she grinned wickedly.
Charles clucked a smile and I caught Tina's disbelieving stare out of the corner of my eye.
Maria laughed. “Eventually it all fell apart.... I don't recall who broke first.... but we all kind of twigged that everyone was full of bluster... and we were too.... and started telling our real truths..... They were all American G.I.s on leave and ….trying to fit in....” she grinned. “We laughed at the fact that we all tried to bluff each other. Turns out we were all OK with the actual truth. ….well, no surprise that Rudolpho was actually another American... a boy from Delaware named Ken. Ken Aldone. He accompanied his friends down from Ramstein because they were his friends.... and for adventure.... but mostly because he wanted to explore his 'ancestral home'. Even when I told him my real name, he assumed I was Italian.... and I didn't correct him.” she grimaced.
“We kind of hit it off and exchanged contact info. We became pen pals for a few years. At some point my Dad located to St Louis. Ken wrote and mentioned that he was currently stationed in Kansas. Things got pretty heavy pretty fast, and soon enough we were married with a baby on the way.” she smiled. “....Sal.”
My mind instantly turned to Tony & Donna at the wedding and I just as quickly shoved those thoughts aside.
“So I was suddenly an army wife with a growing brood traveling the world....” the sense of ….the overwhelming nature of this realization swept across her face. “.....eventually Ken retired. Did his 20. Took his pension and we planted roots. ….Here....” she said with what I took as ambivalence.
Charles smiled. I stole a glance at Tina. It was as if she never even knew her mom. She was processing it all.
“...And how do you all know....” Charles shot me a glance.
Tina smiled. “Chloe and I met at a really lame club. She rescued me after a drunken jock on the make barfed all over me. She loaned me her jacket and instantly became my friend for life!”
Tina's mom raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She simply smiled and nodded. Something told me she was not unaware of similar situations.
“My cousin was getting married and Chloe offered to drive me home. She's never been here before and figured she'd do Greenville while I did family stuff.”
“And thanks to Charles, I did get to do Greenville. The cream of Greenville – thanks to a great list by a discerning curator!” I grinned. Charles blushed.
“But I do have to take you to task over one thing.” I smiled. Charles gave me a puzzled look.
“The 'Gone in 60 nanoseconds' collection at BeauxArtes?” I scowled. He shot me a concerned look.
“Who on earth is this Bernard guy?” I grinned.
Charles blushed. “Did he give you a hard time? Accuse you of loitering? Demand that you leave?” Obviously he was well aware of Bernard's …..people skills.
I smiled. “Not quite. He merely accused me of attempting to 'steal' artwork to my iPhone.”
Charles rolled his eyes. “Please let me apologize on his behalf. He..”
“No need.” I grinned and thumbed through my phone, finding and displaying the photo of the descriptor/pricetag. “I WAS taking a photo. But only of the price tag. Not the print.”
Charles flashed an apologetic smile.
“No real need to snap the print, since the original's still sitting on my hard drive.” I smiled.
As expected, Charles shot me a look of incomprehension.
“It was a collectible print from Plague Diaries.” I smiled and nodded to Tina. “My housemates saga.”
Tina blushed. Her mom just gave her a look. A 'what's going on here?' look.
“She wrote it as an anthology.... then I got the crazy notion to turn it into a graphic novel..... mostly because I was captivated by it and wanted in... but I'm no storyteller... just an art school grad. So she let me do the graphics.”
Charles just stared. Processing. He reached into his pocket and snatched his smartphone. After a few minutes poking, he returned his eyes to us.
I smiled and gestured to Tina. “Tina Aldone. T.Aldone.” And as I had done on the back of Bernard's business card, I fished for my gel pen and scrawled my 'glyph' on the back of a scrap of paper.
“Saville. Chloe Saville.” I said in my best – but still utterly lame – Sean Connery as I traced the letters on the glyph with the tip of my pen.
Charles just stared at us. As did Tina's mom.
“Are you famous?” She asked quietly.
“In some circles” Tina replied even more quietly while Charles simultaneously muttered “Not yet.”
They exchanged glances. Tina nodded to Charles. He went first.
“It's still very niche. Very avant garde. But the buzz is growing. It's searing and unforgettable, and slowly people are beginning to take notice. It's poised to become really big.” He said with what seemed like a touch of reverence, shooting skeptical glances to Tina and me.
“Oh God no.” Tina laughed. “It was never intended to be something BIG.... it was just an itch that I needed to scratch..... and then Chloe read it and came to me with these ….sketches.... and it became more. Still.... it's just.... scratching an itch.... not much more than a hobby....”
Charles raised an eyebrow. “It's much more than that to the people who have been sucked into its world. It's a parable. A paradigm. A different way of seeing the world. It's changing your readers view of reality.”
I saw Tina blanche. “Oh God. I just wanted to tell a good story..... I never intended to..”
Charles smiled. “Funny thing about art. Doesn't much matter what the creator intended. The ultimate value depends on the one who consumes it.”
Tina blanched and raised a finger to make a rebuttal.
I cut her off with a (forced) carefree laugh. “Whoa. We didn't come here to get all heavy and navel gaze-y. We came here to escape the family minefield that is the wedding reception.” I turned to Charles with a forced smile and a 'help-me-out-here' look in my eyes. I could tell instantly he read me right. “What's good to do for three ladies looking to 'do the town'?”
~~~
Beau's was just as Suzie described it. It was like walking into the set of a 'Farmers Only' dating app commercial.
Tina's mom lit up. “Oooh. Look at how fancy everything is!” she beamed. Then she glanced at all the guys scoping us out. “Oh.” she gasped somewhat under her breath.
Tina and I exchanged a glance. ...and a smile.
Charles shot Maria a glance. “I take it you approve?” he grinned.
Tina's mom blushed slightly. “Everyone seems.... it seems very nice.”. I think she was going for an 'approving mom' delivery, but none of us were buying it.
I smiled to Tina. “Tell your friends they were right about Beaus.”
Maria turned to me. “What did Chrissy's friends say?”
I glanced to Tina then back at her mom. “Just that I needed to check it out when I explored Greenville. I guess they agree with you.” I smiled.
She returned an uncertain smile. I don't think Tina's mom was comfortable sharing an opinion with her daughter's notoriously rowdy friends.
Charles rescued us from this uncomfortable moment.
“We didn't come here to chatter. Let's DANCE.” He beamed and grabbed Maria's hand.
Tina and I exchanged grins.
I'm not really a big dancer. I'm usually too self-conscious. And being dressed like a second grade teacher from 1972 out on the floor with everyone else in their denim minis or super tight jeans and cowboy boots didn't help. Still, the fact that line dancing was more like the chicken dance we did at the reception than the dirty dancing I did last night with that guy Geo at the club helped calm my nerves. All I really had to do, I told myself, was match and mirror... a talent I mastered early in my life, for survival.
No one shot terribly scornful glances as the two girls who looked like they escaped from an abstinence meeting took to the floor. Tina didn't seem to care what any of these strangers thought, but for some reason it still mattered to me. I got over it quickly as the crowd courteously made room for us on the dance floor. I had never line danced before so I just mirrored Tina like the clone brush on my paint program. No one seemed to notice and I soon relaxed. Tina really seemed to be enjoying herself. Then I caught her eyeline and understood why. She was looking at her mom, about six ahead and a row over, laughing and dancing and occasionally ducking in to exchange a word with Charles. Her body language was more relaxed than I'd ever seen it, and she looked a decade younger.... carefree and letting her hair down for a night on the town.
Tina caught my glance and flashed me a grin. She seemed to be enjoying her mom's 'girls day out' as much as Maria.
Break
We eventually took a break and went back to our table. ...when we immediately were accosted by two guys.
“Hey ladies. Here alone?” Guy in a foam trucker cap asked.
I glared at him as Tina shook 'No'.
“We're here with my....” she suddenly faltered, realizing she had just built herself a semantic plank to walk.
I nodded to the dancefloor. “Maria. In the salmon chemise with the ecru....” They stared at me as if I was speaking Klingon. “Pink top. Brown skirt. With the guy in the sweater” I dumbed down.
They nodded.
“Your older sister?” foam cap guy asked Tina.
She gave a slight nod and a smile. Sister. That would work.
“She's showing us the highlights of Greenville” I smiled/lied.
Tina quickly got on my wavelength. WE were the tourists, being shown the town by the 'older sister'. She grinned enthusiastically.
“Well, you've come to the right place.” Flannel shirt guy said.
“Right place for what exactly?” I raised an eyebrow cracking a wry smile.
I guess he didn't expect the question. He looked lost. Then foam cap guy rescued him.
“Good music. Good dancing. Good people.” He grinned.
I just stared back at him until he realized his oversight.
“I'm Joe by the way. Joe Blake. And this is my buddy Glenn.”
“Glenn Davis.” flannel shirt guy leaned in and awkwardly offered his hand.
Tina reached out to take it and introduce herself, but I cut her off.
“Janet.” I smiled. “Janet Wilson.” I tried to choose a name that seemed as bland as my outfit. Tina shot me a glance and a quick smile. She was on my wavelength.
“Lisa.” she smiled as she took the guys hand. “Lisa Vaughn.”
OK this would work. Foam cap guy and flannel shirt guy could comb the earth looking for Janet and Lisa and we'd still be safe.
“Pleased to meet you ladies.” Joe said. At least he had the good manners to tip his foam cap. His pal smiled and nodded. “Can we buy you a drink?”
Tina shot me a look. I smiled and said “That's very generous. A lemonade if they have it. ….or maybe a pop? Something without caffeine?”
Tina butted in. “A sprite or something maybe?....”
“We're about to leave on a mission and ….Mary...” I nodded my head in the direction of Maria still tearing up the floor with Charles. “...wanted to leave us with good memories before we began our obligations.” I smiled.
The two guys shot each other a glance. I think they noticed the two cute girls alone so they came over, but now they were looking at our ….conservative.... outfits and realizing this was not going to go remotely they way they expected when they approached us. Still, they were gentlemen about it.
“Certainly ladies.” Glenn said politely – if not enthusiastically. “No alcohol. No caffeine. Are you Mor.... um LDS?”.
This guy was good.
I shook my head “Heavens NO!”. I exclaimed and gave him nothing more.
Tina shot me a glance with a gleam in her eye. She was enjoying this.
Joe looked at Glenn and shrugged. Glenn went on. “Adventist?”
Scowl.
“Jehovas Witnesses?” He tool another stab.
I shot Tina a scowl. “Coming here may have been a mistake.”
She shrugged. “We didn't have much choice. Mary's guests. Mary's choice. ….she meant well.”
I shrugged back and turned to the guys. “It's not important. Thanks for the beverages. Are you going to ask us to dance next?”
They looked at each other. It was clear both were lost. I could tell Tina was enjoying this as much as I was.
“Um.... do you... can you... I mean are you allowed to dance?” Foam cap guy asked.
“Are you asking?” Tina raised an eyebrow.
The two guys gave very conflicted, less than enthusiastic nods.
“Well let's find out if we can dance.” I smiled and grabbed bewildered flannel shirt guy by the hand, leading him to the dance floor followed closely by Tina and foam hat guy.
They were clearly caught off guard. This was not going anywhere near the way they expected when they approached us. We had somehow taken control of the encounter and were leading the interaction. Their confusion tickled me, and I got the sense Tina was feeling the same way.
We moved onto the dancefloor and sidled next to Maria and Charles.
“Hey you two!” She beamed. “About time you joined us.” She raised an eyebrow and addressed Tina “who are your friends?”
Tina grinned. “Joe.” Foam hat guy tipped his truckers cap again. “...and his friend Glenn.” she nodded to me and my dance partner. Flannel shirt guy gave a polite micro-bow.
“Did we mention that we never line danced before?” I leaned in and whispered to Glenn.
He seemed unfazed. “No problem. Just watch and copy.” he smiled graciously. He nodded to Joe and Tina who already seemed to be in a groove.
I smiled back politely. I had been matching and mirroring most of my life. I could do this in my sleep. But he didn't have to know that. I deliberately messed up a little to seem like a beginner.
Glenn got a little 'handsy' putting his hands on my waist and 'directing' me to follow the moves. I didn't take it as copping a feel. He seemed to genuinely be trying to correct my (deliberate) mistakes. I shot him a glare as he ….maneuvered... me. His contrite look and instant removal of his hands put me at ease. He really wasn't trying to pull a move. He just inadvertently crossed a line and, catching it, instantly withdrew. I smiled to reassure him there were no hard feelings and fell into the move as if his direction was what 'corrected' my technique. Really just dropped the beginner mistakes to prevent him from physically ...correcting... me again.
We danced to a few songs before Charles & Maria dropped out, giving us a wave as they made for their table. Tina and I exchanged a glance. These guys were pleasant enough dance partners, but we didn't really want to hang out with them. This was about Tina taking her mom out for a day on the town, not about us flirting with boys. After a few minutes, I glanced in the direction of Maria and Charles then motioned to Tina, who seemed ready to end things too. I leaned in to Glenn and said “Thanks for the dance. It looks like Mary and Reverend Ricky want a word with us.”
Before he could respond I darted in and gave a quick cheek peck – actually it was more like a lip-bump to his cheek. I reached over to Tina and gave her a 'ready?' look. She scowled, and turned to Joe with an apologetic shrug while I grabbed her hand and yanked her off the dance floor.
“Smooth move.” she leaned in to my ear as we made our way back to the table. “What did you tell them?”
I smiled. “I just said it looked like Mary and Reverend Ricky wanted a word with us.”
Tina snorted. “Reverend Ricky?”
Well it wouldn't do for a righteous lady like Mary to be carrying on with a heathen.” I grinned.
Tina laughed. “I want to see you explain all this to Charles and my mom before those two tomcats follow us to our table.”
Charles and Maria took it as well as I'd hoped when I explained our cover story and their aliases. I didn't really expect Glenn and Joe to come after us, and they didn't. Still, I figured briefing everyone on the ruse was the prudent thing to do. Charles and Tina's mom were as amused as I'd expected.
“Where in the world did you come up with a crazy story like that?” Charles chortled.
Tina and I exchanged glances. “It just seemed to fit our outfits and to signal from the start that it wasn't even worth dipping their hook in the water” I smiled.
Charles grinned with a nod as Maria laughed. “Oh God, you're wicked! Once Ken gets to know you, he's going to adore you!”
Charles shot a perplexed look between Maria Tina and me.
“Rudolfo” I started to say as Maria said “My husband” and Tina blurted “My dad.”
Even through that verbal collision, Charles got the message and smiled with a nod as a waitress arrived with a tray full of appetizers.
“We ordered while you were still dancing.” Maria explained.
“We didn't know what you wanted, so we got a little of everything.” Charles smiled.
“Chrissy's never been a picky eater, so I know these are good choices, and I hope there's something here you like dear.” Tina's mom smiled to me. I returned her smile.
“I like to think I'm easy to please. It all looks delicious.” I smiled back. Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed Charles rolling up his sleeves. I quirked an eyebrow.
“In case your eager suitors are still looking, I figured it wouldn't hurt to keep up appearances.” he whispered.
I bit back my grin as he made an elaborate pantomime of shaking the bottle of cider vinegar over our french fries and seeming to bless the food while the three of us bowed our heads behind clasped hands. The easier to hide our snickers.
When Charles took a deep fried pickle chip and raised it up over his head I gave him a kick under the table. He quickly brought his arms back down and shot me a guilty smile.
“Thank God this isn't a kosher meal because we have a big ham at the table.” I grumbled with my head down. And felt Charles' foot return my gentle kick.
Once the theatrical saying of grace was finished, we started passing around appetizer plates in a round robin. I saw Tina blanche at the plate of fully loaded nachos and snerked. Tina's mom caught this.
“Chrissy? What's wrong? You always loved nachos?”
At which point Tina decided to tell the full story of how we met, avoiding just enough graphic detail to not ruin our appetites. Still, that plate of nachos remained pretty much untouched for the rest of our stay at Beaus.
Comments
I actually got a spit take
I actually got a spit take out of that absolutely hilarious love your writing
“Chrissy? What's wrong? You always loved nachos?”
OK. I seriously need to re-read this story from the beginning again. I don't remember the nacho story. I do remember the story starts out with three room mates, a trip to meet the parents of one room mate, a father who scares off boyfriends and who can do background checks better than the CIA, a bed and breakfast, a wedding and an escape from the wedding. But how all of these tie together I have long forgotten. I DO remember that back when I was reading it I considered this to be one of the best stories on BCTS.
Having a sucky memory is a curse and a blessing. It's a blessing because I get to re-read stories almost like it's the first time I'm reading it.
Thank you so much for the new chapter.
You Won't Have to Read Far
The nacho incident is right there in the first chapter.
To Kat: Thanks for the new posting. Lots of fun.
I confess, I'm addicted to those wacky conversations
And some people say religion is of no use!
I probably will have to try haunting some line-dancing dens, though perhaps that's not appropriate for someone who is square?
Treat
I always look forward to reading a new chapter by Kat. Thanks.
I just reread this from the
I just reread this from the beginning and was chuckling or grinning at the end of each chapter. One could wish they arrived more often but there can be no complaints about the quality of these episodes.
I hope the long
dry spell is over as I am enjoying this story.