I got back into the clinic yesterday after a phone conversation the other day with the new administrator. He was NOT happy with the way I was treated. While she was ‘following’ his guide lines, barely, she screwed up with how fast she dropped my Spiro... She dropped it to 125MG a day from 250MG... While he said he didn’t see any major effects to my health from it being that high from my prior records, he didn’t like the amount I was taking. He gave me the spiel that he has been involved in transgender health care for 25 years, and while she was supposed to drop my spiro she moved way too fast. So I got back into the clinic yesterday evening to get it sorted out...
Unfortunately her punishment (I don’t think he intended me to be punished, but we’ll see...) was to see me again and apologize... She is young, or at least younger than I am, and lacks people skills and has a huge chip on her shoulder... They brought my spiro up but still lower than what I had been taking... I’ll be on this dose for a month, then will up my E slightly for a month, then slightly drop the spiro and each month until they find a balance.
It hasn’t quite kicked in fully, but maybe it’s just the fact that I know its improving has caused my mood and panic attacks to lessen slightly already after just one day... The administrator apologized profusely to me for the way it was handled, and if there were any more issues to let him know. He gave me his personal cell phone number. He generally seems to be a good guy and cares... Now that witch on the other hand...
As I was finishing up with her, I could tell she was unhappy having to do this... Especially after a ‘patient’ had told her she was wrong and she got called out on it... As I was finishing up she showed me a BMI chart... At my current weight of 210lbs I am grossly overweight and should drop almost 30lbs... I wanted to punch her honestly... But I kept my calm and sent an email to the admin afterwards... Not sure what will happen... Here is a slight example though... I honestly don’t think I could drop 30lbs and stay healthy... Here is a before and after... The ‘old’ picture is when I was still male and was 265lbs, the newer one (about 6 months ago)is where my body seems to be balanced out... I hover between 205-210... I don’t think I could lose much more...
Everyone that had commented on my prior blog post... Thank you all so much... I wanted to respond... I was just in a really bad headspace and too upset to form a proper response...
Much love to you all here in BC,
Becca C.
Comments
You're doing the right thing, Rebecca.
She's trying to use her "clout" as a doctor to push you where she thinks you should go, rather than focus on what you feel you need to do.
All you can really do, as you said you did here again after seeing her yesterday, is report the incidents to the administrator.
If she keeps treating patients as she has been doing with you, she may not be working there for very long.
The way I see it is this: Who is going to know more about what exactly one is experiencing, the patient who lives with it all the time or a doctor who likes to claim that, just because they are a doctor, they automatically know more about everything that is happening?
I actually had my doctor organize several tests, which I had done the next day, because of things I noticed due to being everyday experiences. There may not be anything actually wrong (I'd think they would have called me if something serious showed up), but it's better to be safe.
Yeah, a doctor knows/learns a lot, but personal knowledge/experience is definitely relevant to receiving good medical care. *points up*
I'm glad the administrator is trying to help you, he at least seems to be willing to listen and work with you.
Not much to add
but it is a joy and a pleasure to now you Becca.
Sam
SamanthaAnn
I too am glad
You did right and spoke with some else who did listen.
"Doctors" do have a lot of "book knowledge" about how the body works. What they must learn after getting their degree, and firmly keep in mind from then on, is that every person is different and does not fit into a cookie-cutter mold. They have to listen to the patient and accept that the individual knows what is going on with their own body. Then they can apply those book smarts to the situation and work on a resolution that is beneficial.
And for a patient who has been around for a while and has an available medical history record they must make use of that prior to making any decisions or changes to their current treatment regime.
This is why every patient has to be their own best and strongest advocate for their own care.
- Leona
On a side note,
The recent picture of you looks pretty good. Even if you need to lose a bit more, that should be doable with a little effort.
As for you needing to lose at least 30 pounds, I'd think that is a bit much, five to ten yes, maybe fifteen, but that's about it.
Rebecca, I'm 5'5", well, 5'4" according to tests from about two weeks ago, and I weighed in at 245 pounds (double checked to be sure). Even with my weight being that high, other than a bit of grumbling about my blood pressure being slightly high, my doctors haven't given me any grief over my weight. Actually, when my doctor learned that I had been losing weight simply by changing my diet, she was very happy.
I'd love to get my weight down to 160 or 165 pounds, but unless I can get a decent way to exercise, preferably at home, that might be difficult. I have physical issues that make life a hassle sometimes when I go out, physical issues that can get rather messy very fast. Not fun at all.
Do what you feel is right for you. Lose a bit more if you want, stop losing weight when you want. It's your body, NOT that doctor's.
As I said before,
Becca, it was a challenge to your assertiveness, that you seem to have mastered well. As to medical knowledege and weight ratios ... well, I am 5'8, sixt five years old and physically very active. on me, apart from my breasts and a little woman's belly, all is muscle mass. I climb up roofs with solar panels or wind turbines with spares ... I have 83kgs and when my new doctor said I need to lose weight I laughed in his face and asked what was to replace the muscles I need.
He also wanted to lower my blood pressure not being aware of more than 10 year old Swedish research, that prooves, that all the old tables of body-mass ratio, cholesterol levels and blood pressure need to be completely reworked and adjusted to age progression. Acoording to that my blood pressure matches my job requiremets and age, as well as my weight.
I have a book in Geman written by a team of a doctor, a food analyst, a biologist and a behavioural psychologist, that has a list of what nutritional theory has actually been clinically proven. It might not surprise a lot of people, that that is hardly 10% of what theories, that are proclaimed as absolute truth for everyone, are about. Medical science may have advanced a lot technically (surgery mostly), but they still know almost silch about how the human body really works, believe me.
We, who live in our bodies, may sometimes be silly and do unhealthy things like really getting too fat, for example, through indulengence and laziness, but if we keep alert and aware we still know best what is going on with ourselves.
Keep it up, you are doing fine.
Hugs,
Monique.
Monique S
Good for You
Of course, you've always been fortunate. You were a handsome man in a Breaking Bad sort of way -- and now are a pretty woman.
Back when I was running long distances I kept a runners diary. I soon realized that there was a direct correlation between eating red meat and feeling less than par during my runs. You can learn a lot about yourself by practicing self-awareness; much more than you'll learn by stepping on a scale.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you everyone.
I appreciate all the positive thoughts. I really do... That last bit about my weight was just a jab at me, or how it made me feel... I actually would like to lose 10-15 more pounds, it's just my body seems to be happy bouncing between 205-210... I stand flat footed at an even 6ft tall, and I have a really large frame... The BMI charts haven't been accurate for me since I was around 15 years old and I started filling out. It just felt to me like she was mad at me for going over her head, and telling me that was just a jab while she acted concerned about my health... I've requested my next visit to be with a different doctor which the clinic said wouldn't be an issue at all... Thank God...
Angela, haha... If you only knew how many times I was told I looked like a healthy Walter White pre-transition... I'd always respond in a gravely voice, "Whouldn't that be Heisenburg to you?" HAH.
As far as my weight... Since I still turn wrenches for a living, I have lost no perceptible strength from before... I'm not quite as bulky, but my muscles are much more firm than they used to be... For example, I don't work out really except with the physical labor my job requires. I have to move/lift heavy equipment and parts all the time. I also avg 15k-18k steps a day. One of my girls got into an exercise kick a few months ago and challenged dear old She-Dad (Their idea to call me that, which I thought was cool) to pushups... I can still churn out 50+ at 45 years old... I'm just a big person... I'll always be, and that's okay with me.
I did find myself in a much better mood today than I was even in yesterday, and I was finally able to start writing again... It had been over a week since I was able to get myself in the proper head space of my characters. I had written and rewritten the same page maybe 12-13 times over the last week... I just churned out 3 pages in the last half hour, and the words are flowing easily once again...
Thank you all once again,
Much love and many hugs,
Becca C.
I know I’m weird. The fact that I’m trans is probably one of the more normal things about me.
My rule of thumb
It's always been my rule of thumb is that it's my responsibility to over see my own health. The doctor is only there to diagnose the condition and explain my medical options. After that, I decide whether to follow medical advise or to do something else entirely. So telling your doctor to stick it when their advise doesn't suit your needs or goals is your right.
Hopefully, they are doing regular T and E level blood work. That's the real issue. And about the blood pressure issue. Pfftt. Way back when... I was working precast concrete where the job gave the same workout as if I'd been at the gym pumping iron for eight hours a day, I weighed 185, which was about 15 lbs over what the charts had to say, but my fat to lean ratio was in negative numbers. I ended up in the hospital for Hepatitis A. When I was admitted, a nurse came in to take my vitals. She left and then another nurse came in and took my blood pressure and left. Finally the charge nurse for the floor came in with different type of blood pressure cuff and took my blood pressure on my left arm, then on my right arm and again on my left arm. Now concerned, I asked if there was something wrong. She told my the my blood pressure was on the very low edge of normal. So low, that if it weren't for my otherwise healthfulness, they'd be concerned. It sounds to me, what with your occupation, you have more muscle than the average girl and muscle mass weighs more than fat.
As far as being over weight, I'm only 5' 9" and weigh about the same as you. neither my primary care physician, nor my endocrinologist, or the doctor over seeing my HRT have had anything to say about my weight. So, the way I see it, your doctor taking a shot at you about yours is way out of line.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann