Thoughts and observations on amateur trans fiction, and an intro to what I read and write.

Greetings,

Since I'm somewhat new to both BigCloset TopShelf and writing the type of fiction in this genre, I wanted to take a moment to write this post in order to share some observations and explain my tastes/preferences, literary inclinations, and overall creative M.O., as it were--that is, what I'm all about as a writer (and reader). My intention is not only to sort of introduce myself briefly out of the shadows and elaborate on what it is that I most like to read, but to let any potential readers know what to generally expect from my work, including that which is already here and any further stories that might be uploaded in the future. As mentioned, while I've browsed the stories here for some time now, I'm pretty new to this website, which I can tell obviously has a long-established and flourishing little culture all of its own. Whenever necessary, please be patient with me. ;-)

Something important to know about me right out of the gate is that I tend to approach the themes of this niche (broadly speaking, trans fiction) in a rather different way from many and perhaps even most of my fellow authors (and readers?).

Overall, I mostly enjoy reading and writing what I think can be best described as 'slice of life' (which is not to say entirely aimless or mundane, per se) stories, especially those that focus on relationships, whether they're set in a real-world type of environment or more speculative (such as science-fictional, for one example) realms. (With maybe a few exceptions, epic, super-elaborate fantasy and action-heavy adventure-type stuff just isn't really my bag.) While plot is undoubtedly important, I think it could be said that I'm mostly character-focused in what I prefer to write and read. From both perspectives, I'm most interested in stories that really delve into and explore the nuances of characters' hearts and psyches, ones that skillfully and subtly use pathos, plot devices and such to bring their personalities, worldviews and overall 'makeup' to the surface.

So, within that little thematic set, what's the difference in my approach?

I've long noticed that most of the authors writing in this vein, about trans narratives and experiences, overwhelmingly seem to focus on the process, the process of...well, becoming. This is vague enough that it could almost apply to fiction of any kind, and perhaps I'm not articulating it well, but I mean specifically with respect to "transness". Very often the central conflict of these stories revolves around a character's yearnings, attempts, or decision(s) to live authentically as herself, as a member of her true gender, and they typically cover in great detail the process of 'transitioning' toward that goal, or simply figuring out and exploring one's gender deal in the first place. It makes sense that this stage would be seen as particularly fertile ground for literary expression and the growth of character dynamics. After all, what more overt and straightforward means of developing a character could there possibly be than that of transformation into a different gender role? It's no surprise that the demand for these imaginings is high, either. For many--myself included--reading and writing serves as a coping mechanism through which to process and come to terms with one's own tribulations, and for many people in the earlier stages of this with respect to gender, I'm sure that fiction of this kind serves simultaneously as inspiration and vicarious escape.

However, speaking for myself here, that kind of thing isn't really part of my "literary MO". Personally, for many reasons, I'm much more interested in stories about characters whose gender status is already just 'taken for granted', in a sense, at least by themselves if not always others around them. Make no mistake, the women in my stories do experience internal conflicts and struggles with self-acceptance--often in ways that *involve* their transsexuality--but it's never about that component of their identities in itself. That's why I write about characters who are outsiders in multiple ways beyond just that (their trans status). Often their sexualities are a point of contention, part of what they've yet to accept about themselves fully, and the unusual circumstances in which they find themselves further highlight these narrative nuances. I like to explore the indirect and longer-term consequences of their identities, self-image and choices in their self-actualizations, though not in a necessarily obvious or linear way. In other words, I really like to read, as well as write, about trans girls and women who simply are. They might need to grapple with some issues that result from it and how it defines their place in society, but they know who they are and are living as such. Personal preferences even aside, I find this to offer more potential for originality in expanding the ways in which these backgrounds and experiences are portrayed, and also find that it allows me to give a voice of sorts to perspectives and types of experience that might otherwise go underappreciated.

So, while I certainly understand the reasons for its popularity and ubiquity, that aforementioned type of 'transition/gender emergence/acceptance fiction' just honestly doesn't interest me terribly much--again with exceptions, but at least as a writer. Without meaning to be unduly disparaging here at all, I suspect that a lot of amateur writers choose to work within this paradigm in large part because in many ways it's an easier template to hone their craft within. As mentioned, it has a preset sort of path outlined for character development built-in, and it's centered on a common denominator of demographic experience, which renders constructing plots and narrative elements more accessible. That's fine--we've all got to start somewhere, though some authors reach a point where they can do this especially well (yet another reason I tend to branch out--anything that's been written that extensively has probably been done better!).

As a relevant tangent off of this topic, I must also definitively establish that (if/when I do continue writing and uploading stories here) you'll never see fetishy-type material from me. My characters have their kinks, interests and 'inclinations', naturally, but what I'm referring to is stuff that frames one's femininity and gender status as a novel fetish object in itself. That's definitely not for me in any capacity. I imagine this is pretty obvious from the above and that I don't need to spell out further what this might include, but since so much material is painted with this kind of brush I just thought I'd declare that upfront in the interest of being clear.

A few more individual quirks to mention. I do write (and read!) explicit sexual content, erotica, but outright raunchiness isn't at all what my sensibilities are oriented towards. There's a definite, easily recognizable difference, IMO. When it does arise, I greatly prefer it to be in the context of romantic relationships or those that are at least loving, caring and (emotionally) intimate in some way, even if unconventionally so. And it needs to be woven well into the fabric of the story and developing relationship itself. Also, you'll probably never see hetero anything in my stories. I pretty much exclusively write about lesbian themes and dynamics with Sapphic undertones (if not overtones!)--that's just me; in some regards, I write what I know. :-) Age regression and the 'inner child' is definitely a pet motif, as is tender maternal-type nurturance. Mental illness and disability are themes that I also like to touch upon as well, as yet another aspect of marginalization that characters must contend with. I love the sweetest, most warm, adorable and feel-good fiction you can imagine, which is a lovely escape sometimes from life's travails. :-) That said, I do sometimes dip my toe into icier, murkier waters and portray much darker themes and realities as well, as is likely evident from the couple stories I have up so far.

That's all I can really think of off the top of my head for the time being. Just some rambling thoughts, and a little map sketch (of sorts), of my creative terrain. If you're stumbling onto this blog post, what I write sounds interesting to you and you haven't already, I encourage you to check out the stories I currently have up and leave comments if they resonate with you in any fashion and you're so inclined! I hate to unabashedly self-promote, but as a new writer of only solos (...thus far) in a small subcategory, it seems to be easy to get quickly lost in the shuffle.

--Amalia