Den's thirty minutes was a bit closer to forty taking us almost to where our last archaeological stop yesterday was, a few kilometres south of Munster. I was quite sceptical when we pulled into the parking area of 'Zum Oertzwinkel' camping!

"You sure about this Den?"

"Yup, I saw it last night, the name made me chuckle, so whilst you lot were gallivanting around the woods this morning I made a couple of calls and voyla, they're expecting us."

"Okay."

I picked up the mic to address the now expectant passengers.

"Okay, I know it is still fairly early but this will be our lunch stop, there will be comfort breaks later but I suggest you eat now as it’s a long time until your meal on the fahre. We have one hour but if we are ready sooner it would be nice to gain a few minutes,"

This lot didn't need telling twice, I grabbed my bag and headed inside to organise things but I’d already been beaten!

"Nena, the frau here is asking something but I’ve no idea what." Mick pronounced.

"You are the coach that telephoned earlier?" the 'frau' enquired in German.

"Yes, thank you for fitting us in at such short notice, we have a ferry to catch this evening and it’s all a bit of a rush today. Oh I’m Nena by the way"

"Margrit, that’s no problem, I’ve put you a table on the far side. Its quicker if I do you all the same meal stuff from the menu will take longer."

"What’s the standard meal?"

"Soup to start, its asparagus today, the main plate is beef, boiled potatoes and sauerkraut then coffee for eleven euro."

"Okay Margrit, leave it with me."

"Will they want drinks?"

"I think so."

"I’ll be over in a few minutes then."

"What’s the score then?" Mick enquired as Margrit left us.

"First I think we should get seated, a table is reserved over the other side, Margrit will come for drinks in a moment."

By now the full crowd were inside with Den acting as sweeper so it was like a tide of eager bodies that headed to 'our' table. Once they were mostly seated I made the pitch on the food.

"So our hosts have offered us a special deal, two courses and coffee for eleven euro, no choice of menu I’m afraid, spargel soup with beef and potatoes for the main course. Otherwise you can order from the full menu."

Margrit arrived to take the drinks order which delayed the inevitable round of questions. 'I don't want soup', 'can I get chips?', 'is there a veggie option?’ I went to find our host; yes they'd do frites, main course only, no problem, what is vegetarian? I explained and they came up with a vegetable omelette which almost tempted me.

By the time everyone had drinks, we'd sorted out who wanted what and to save time I gave everyone’s order to Margrit directly.

"How long do you think?"

"Soup in about five minutes, perhaps twenty for dinner."

"Great thanks."

With a following wind we could make a few minutes on our expected departure time. Den and I had our own table off to one side to where I finally got to sit.

"I got you Sprite" Den motioned to the tall glass sat by my place.

"Thanks, soup should be straight out, about twenty for the beef."

"That’s good, it’s going to be a bit eyeballs this afternoon."

"Yeah, this place looks like a good find." I allowed.

"Why thank you ma'am!"

The spargel suppe arrived in short order, generous servings with fresh bread, mmm one of my favourites although it can be a bit thin sometimes. This however was quite thick and creamy and by the silence on the big table I wasn't the only one enjoying it. One thing I have learnt in my various appearances as my alter ego is that a 'girl' enjoying her food isn't thought of as strange, as long as you don't over indulge why not?

By the time the laggards were finished, Margrit's crew were ready with the mains, a good serving of the main ingredients, boiled beef with a hollandaise sauce and a significant pile of sauerkraut. Whilst I’m not a great fan of the latter I prefer it to the almost compulsory broccoli dished up at home. Den made short work of his loaded plate too, we won't get much more than a coffee or two now until about nine tonight on the boat, oh for regular hours.

In an effort to speed our departure I gathered everyone money while they washed the food down with their coffees. It was surprisingly straight forward, there weren't any real grumbles - well Stevie didn't like the sauce but I think the complaint was almost a reflex rather than a genuine gripe. By the time I’d settled up Jonathon had his troops on the move which left me with a chance to use a real toilet before we head off.

I wasn't the only one which meant our early depart was merely not later than hoped. Den soon had us passing Munster on our way to the autobahn and our onward journey firstly down the E45 towards Hannover before picking up theE30 towards Enschede and the Dutch border. It doesn't sound far does it 400 kilometres but we are restricted speed wise to 100kph but of course you can't travel at that speed all the time, chuck in a couple of driver breaks and four hours easily extends to five then six.

We actually made good time with fairly light traffic past Minden, Den pulled in for twenty minutes at Bullenheide services just east of Melle.

"Twenty minutes please." I offered before opening the door.

"You heard her people; we don't want to miss that ferry." Jonathon added.

Indeed we don't, there is a plan B, I wouldn't be doing my job if there wasn't but my employers would be well out of pocket, not only that our plans for me to return to Chris will be up the swannee too!

"You want a drink?" I enquired of Den when everyone had departed.

"I could murder a tea."

"I’m having no part in any beveragacide."

"You what?"

"beveragacide, kill a tea?" I explained.

"Sometimes I think you are on a different planet, as if the whole Nena thing isn't enough you have to inflict humour on me too! Get on and put the kettle on woman!"

"You wound me Dennis, besides which I’ve tried the kettle before and it’s just so last season!"

He rolled his eyes in defeat, "tea?"

our charges clearly took Jonathon’s warning to heart so that they were all back with time to spare, not that it did us much good as Den had to take the full twenty minutes by law, but still we set off anew a bit after three, direction Osnabruck. Once we were under way I did a drinks round for the passengers, there is after all still a good way to go.

We held the Thirty westward; another hour had us at Rheine which despite its name is actually on the Ems. Another thirty minutes saw us cross the Dutch border north of Enschede before taking another toilet stop at Het Veelveld services near Hengelo. From here, about another two hundred kilometres faced us but the plan was to drive straight through to get us to the boat around six thirty - fingers crossed.

Its Holland, the sun was sinking fast and our charges had largely decided to catch forty winks.

"We okay for time?" Jonathon enquired as we went through Apeldoorn cross.

"We have time for sure eh Dennis?"

"Don’t worry Jonathon; we'll be there in plenty of time."

The bus phone chose that moment to ring, sugar that'll be Bill and with Jonathon hovering at my elbow.

"Hallo, its Nena here."

"Nena? For heaven’s sake Chris what are you up to?"

"The er principal is here, Chris will see you in the morning."

"I’m sure he will. Where are you, you gonna be on that ferry?"

"We are pretty sure we'll be there Bill, we're on the E30 west of Apeldoorn."

"Okay, call me when you get to Rotterdam."

"For sure Bill, tschuss."

"Tschuss - feck you've got me at it now."

"Bye Bill!" Den called over as I closed the call.

"The boss?" Jonathon enquired.

"Ja, he has to confirm with the ferry that we'll be there."

"Ah. Erm is there any chance of a coffee?"

"Sure, can you put the water boiler on Dennis bitte."

"Mines a tea." he grinned flicking the boiler control on.

we had a bit of a hold up at Utrecht, a car had rolled over so the traffic was restricted to two lanes to get past, you can't exactly make the time up but we then had a clear run through to Rotterdam. Bill got his call to confirm our berth before we finally turned off the E30 to cross under the river the Dutch call the Lek, the rest of us call the Rhein. Of course you don't see the river as you cross by tunnel, in fact the first time you see water is at the Europort.

I opened up the microphone, "So, soon we will be at the ferry port where I will leave you. It’s been an interesting few days (no kidding!) and a pleasure to meet you all (even Stevie I guess). The weather looks to be calm so I think you will have a nice cruise tonight. Remember when you get off the bus at the port you will need to take your passports, I’ll sort out your boarding cards before saying goodbye.

It was bang on quarter to seven when we pulled up at the terminal, not bad all things considered. I stood down to help them off Tiddler, Den had quickly escaped to book us on so that by the time our group had made their way into the building he was just waiting for the passenger boarding tickets with their cabin allocations.

"Goodbye then Nena, it’s been a wonderful trip." Barb told me with a quick hug before setting off to board.

"It was nice meeting you." Stevie opined.

Pretty much everyone exchanged farewells with 'Nena' last up was Jonathon.

"I’ll go get your bag out Nena." Den stated making his escape.

"Er thanks Dennis. I’ll be right there."

"Well I guess this is goodbye then." my would be beau started.

"For sure, it’s been an interesting trip."

"It’s been bloody brilliant in no small part due to you, thank you for doing your stuff. look it’s a bit embarrassing this stuff, we, that’s everyone on the bus, had a whip round, it’s not much but we'd like you to take it as a sign of our appreciation." he pushed an envelope into my hand.

"You don't need to, Global are paying me."

"We want you to have it Nena, no disrespect to Chris but the trip picked up as soon as you arrived so please take it in the way it’s given."

"Okay, thank you, thank everyone for me will you?"

"will do, well I’d best let you go, ferries and taxis wait for no man er woman." he grinned before moving so quickly to pull me into a hug I had no chance to evade him, "thanks Nena."

Releasing me he hefted his bag and set off to catch up to the others leaving me stood bemused.

"What took you? We haven't got all night you know." Den pointed out as I reached the bus

"Lover boy was giving me this." I waved the envelope at him.

I climbed on and headed back up the bus to where Den had put my, that is me Chris' bag, time for me to do a quick change! I had the wig off before Den had us moving, skirt off, trousers on, top off, pop out breast forms, remove bra, shirt on, that’s most of it done. By the time we arrived at the boarding gate I had the bit of make-up off my face, and it was Chris who rode up the ramp onto the 'Pride of Hull' a few minutes later.

"Look who I’ve found." Den told Jonathon a few minutes later.

"Jonathon!" I greeted the cause of my latest Nena experience, "how was the trip, you get on okay with Nena?"

"Brilliant, thanks for organising it for us and for convincing Nena to join us, she pretty much made the trip."

I didn't do that much did I?

"Great, we're booked in for the seven thirty sitting for dinner so if you can round up everyone, we'll meet in the bar about twenty past, we can all go in together."

"Sure, I’d best head Stevie off from going full Goth!"

"So how'd you get changed so quick?" Den asked when I returned to our table with some sherbets.

"You don't want to know."

"Go on try me."

I took a pull on my beer, "let’s just say I’ll be glad to get out of these knickers later."

"I think I see where you're coming from." Den chuckled. "So what was in the envelope?"

"Two hundred euros and a card signed by everyone, I feel a bit of a fraud taking it."

"I bet you spent that much on Nena."

"Heading that way." I allowed.

"Well look at it as them paying to have Nena's company for the trip."

"What about your cut?"

Nena might have only been around for a few days but it felt weird with a capital W to be interacting with our charges in Chris mode once again. They definitely interacted with me differently which was a bit disconcerting.

If you've ever crossed the North Sea to or from Hull you'll know that you are docked before breakfast, by the time passenger traffic is ready for landing the commercial stuff is long gone. Our group gathered after a hearty breakfast and collecting everything from the cabins.

"We’ll be waiting for you outside the terminal, we'll try to get as close as we can, there's enough walking getting out as it is."

"Cheers Chris." Jonathon mentioned, "Come on folks, let’s get going."

There was a sense of loss, the interaction the group had with Nena was completely missing, is she really that different from me?

"What’s your problem?" Den asked.

"Nothing really," I plonked myself in my seat, "is Nena that much different from me?"

"Not that one again," we got the nod to move off, "people just react to a pretty girl differently to a bloke; I told you I didn't think having her around this week was a good idea."

"Yeah well."

We drove down the ramp onto terra firma, with no passengers we quickly passed through immigration and customs arriving outside the terminal a couple of minutes before the first of our party emerged from the building. The rest followed in short order and by eight thirty we were heading out of the docks. We got caught up in the Hull rush hour traffic but were soon heading inland along the Humber, it might only be another hour to our destination but I did a drinks round anyway. The end for our passengers but we still have to get back to Global's depot and sort out the paperwork; we might get done by lunchtime if we're lucky.

"Thanks for organising things Chris." Jonathon shook my hand when we'd unloaded, "and you Den." he added repeating the procedure.

"Well I hope it was what you were expecting."

"Better, they're already talking about the next trip."

"We try to please."

"Thank Nena again for us when you see her, I’ll be in contact."

"I look forward to it."

A final round of goodbyes and it was time to face the music with Bill in the office.

Maddy Bell © 31.03.13