I need a editor.

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I'm almost done with a story. It's a story about my life. I need help to clean it up and make sure I'm not violating to many of the rules of writing. After all, I'd hate to have the union on my ass.lol.

Thanks
Jessica(smorr24)

Comments

I can't promise to take you on full time, but

I'll see what I can do.

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.

Holly

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.

Holly

i need an editor every day

laika's picture

I need an editor with about twice my skill
One to help me make a silk purse out of my swinish swill
One to show me where description is getting in the way
I need an editor every day

I need an editor with about twice my vocabulary
a savvy super-suave smooth talkin walkin dictionary
You said "the car" ten times here, why not "the Chevrolet"?
I need an editor every day

I need an editor who can tell a story where
the reader gnaws her fingernails on the front edge of her chair
So whenever I post installments it's a major holiday
I need an editor every day...

.
Sorry, not sure where that came from. Not relevant to anything I suppose...
~~~(heh heh...) hugs, Laika

.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU

Umm...

You need an editor.
LOL, was it intentional? XD

Shouldn't that be ....

.... You need an editor?

Of course you don't Laika. You have an authentic voice. Don't let anyone bugger it about.

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

Bugger Laika?

I want to bugger with Laika’s prose,
Never to be confused with booger, which is up one’s nose.
All passive verbs will find their grave;
I’d tell that horrible “………” to -- “Oh. . .behave.”

I want to bugger with Laika’s prose,
To question syntax, and caution how it flows.
I’d love to get inside of that twisty brain,
To see the crevices and alleys residing beneath Laika’s mane.

I want to bugger with Laika’s prose,
To suggest where the punctuation properly goes.
I want to mess with the puppies’ spacegenarian thoughts,
To root out articles and preposition -- and untie proverbial knots.

I would tidy the nouns and give adverbs short work,
To make sure the author never sounds like a dork.
Working with Laika sounds like great sport,
Should I quash his “authentic voice” -- may my looking-down-it nose grow a wart.

I want to bugger with Laika’s prose, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

Perhaps I need an editor every day; my poem begins and ends with a nose reference which might be a flaming example of "proboscuity".

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Editing is such sweet pleasure

That is really very good Angela. :) I just can't compete and in the circumstances it would be most ungracious of me to suggest that the pleasure does sound a little one sided.

If I were the to allow myself to luxuriate in the joys of editing it I would however demur at your use of the verb bugger accompanied solely by 'with'. Of course it may well be different in the States but in the U.K. people are usually buggered 'about' {*See P.P.S.}, and inanimate objects buggered 'up'. Both can conceivably be buggered 'about with'.

But 'with' by itself I think should best be avoided.

The use of the verb 'bugger' unaccompanied and unadorned is of course perfectly legitimate but is not encouraged in polite society and in any case such usage is not relevant here.

If you were to abide by this generally observed convention it would, I fear, rather bugger up the scansion of your lyric (Interesting isn't it that the phrase 'bugger about with the scansion' has a totally different meaning?). I have full confidence in your ability to surmount any minor inconvenience that this might cause and mention it only in passing as of literary interest.

If I were you I would leave it as it is. It is fun and it would be a pity to detract from it by being too pernickety. Let it all hang out. Figuratively speaking of course.

Hugs,

Fleurie Fleurie

P.S. I hadn't encountered the word boogle before. Is this an Americanism or have I just led a sheltered life?

P.P.S. The phrase "in the U.K. people are usually buggered 'about'" was originally intended to differentiate animate and inanimate objects. This does not however invalidate the statement from being of more general pertinence.

Fleurie

I luv it when u talk dirty Jill

laika's picture

It's nice of you to defend my honor Fleurie, but actually I find Angela's offer flattering.
And if I was going to surrender my virginal prose to ANYONE it would be my friend Jill.
I honestly don't think my "authentic voice" would be adulterated by a bit of buggering.
I'm just horribly impatient. Submitting a story when it looks done to me rather than
the added day or three the editing negotiations would take. And then as soon as I
do post it I see a jillion mistakes, unclear phrasings, things that shoulda been
done different; and spend the next 2 to 6 hours rewriting the posted draft,
hurrying before anybody else reads the messed up, imperfect version.
So it's not asthetic or technical qualms that keep me from getting
good and edited. Like Dolly sang, That's Just the Way I Am...
~hugs .......... Laika

.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU

I had an editor once ...

erin's picture

... with Brussels sprouts and the sort of cheese sauce that comes in a glass jar that you heat in the microwave.

And a nice chianti. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong, Angela, Erin ...

It's with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

Remember the lifeboat stretch.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. a good editor/proofer is like having a fairy godmother, a very pushy fairy godmother.

John in Wauwatosa

Fairy Godmothers ain't always the Answer ....

You mean the sort that have you leave the bloody Ball just as you were enjoying yourself. Stranded outside on the drive in the pissing rain with one of your feet cut to buggery on the gravel, sitting on a pumpkin with some uppity mice peering up your skirt?

Hugs,

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie