by Ollie

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Part 2
 
My dad had a new girlfriend called Gina. She was lovely. Unfortunately, I had to share a bedroom with her son Evan when we stayed over at weekends. I liked Gina and tolerated her son, but every time we stayed with them she dressed me in clothes she took from Evan’s wardrobe.

I woke on Sunday morning wondering where I was. The mattress on the floor of Evan’s room was comfortable enough but I was aware of another person in the room breathing. I was used to a bedroom of my own and with only me and dad at home this felt odd. At least dad hadn’t sneaked off with Evan again leaving me with his girlfriend.

I liked Gina. She was lovely to me; very warm and friendly, even if her son was one of the tough guys I avoided at school; all soccer and big headed cool guys. I spent a lot of time with my own gang. We spent most of our time working on dance routines and having fun. They were girls but they were friendly and we never fell out.

So it was strange to be sharing a room with Evan, the sort of boy I avoided. Not that he noticed me! His mum was the reason we were here. She and my dad were an item and she was the best thing to happen to my dad for the two years since my mum left. He was laughing and joking and smiling more. She was really good for him and I was desperate to make sure they stayed together.

Shame she had a bonehead for a son!
 
 
These thoughts were going through my head when Gina breezed in. “Morning everyone,” she sang. Evan turned over groaning with his pillow hiding his head.

“Ignore the grump,” she said to me. “Time to get up Danny.”

Now, I groaned. Why did she have to call me Danny? What was wrong with my proper name? Dad called me Daniel, all my friends did. They managed it.

Gina mistook my groan for an Evan style one.

“There’s a whole day ahead,” she said as she pulled my duvet away. “Oh, Danny, are you sure you are okay on the mattress?”

I didn’t want to annoy Evan any more than I did just by being in his room so I told her I was fine. She let me go for a wash in the bathroom. As I cleaned my teeth, I wondered why I had been woken up and Evan got to stay in bed.
 
 
When I padded back to the bedroom, Gina was waiting for me sitting on the end of Evan’s bed. He didn’t stir. I hovered, hoping she would go and let me get dressed but she had other plans. She held out some underpants. I looked around, not sure where to go to get changed. Gina smiled as she saw I was shy and moved in on me.

“Come on, little Danny,” she said, lifting my pyjama top over my head. “We’ve got plans for today.” I could feel myself blush as she pulled down my pyjama trousers leaving me naked. My hands shot in front of me automatically.

Gina was trying hard not to let her amusement show but I was embarrassed anyway. She handed me the underpants and I pulled them up as quickly as I could which wasn’t very quick because I tried to do it one handed with my other hand trying to hide my boy bits.

Gina went to Evan’s wardrobe and brought out a pair of dungarees and a white long sleeved t- shirt.

I pulled on the t- shirt. She held the dungarees out in front of me for me to step into. It felt that I didn’t have any choice so I put one leg in and then the other and she pulled them up and sort of tucked me in which involved her hand travelling around and patting down my shirt. She lifted the bib and did up the straps. Several of my friends wore dungarees but this was my first time. I knew they were worn by boys but they tended to be much younger boys. Maybe, they were coming back into fashion with boys of Evan’s age. She definitely got them from his wardrobe. I knew I would have to look at the labels later.

Gina picked up a brush and started brushing my hair. This attention was a bit flattering, I didn’t hate it but I wasn’t used to it and I couldn’t help but think that Gina obviously thought I was much younger than her son.

“I’m nearly eleven,” I said to her, hoping she would understand what I was getting at. Gina smiled at that but carried on preening me. I looked at Evan lazing in bed and he smirked back. Gina was much too busy making sure every hair was in place to see what he was smirking about. When she finished, she threw the hair brush onto the bed.

“You could do with using a brush occasionally,” she said followed by “breakfast in ten minutes,” as she left the room.

I stood where she left me, feeling confused. Wasn’t she going to dress Evan? Why did she fuss over me but expect him to sort himself out? Evan obviously found the whole thing amusing. He threw the brush at me. “No chance!” he said.

I didn’t know what to do next. I felt a bit funny about my dad seeing me dressed like this.

Evan next threw his pyjama top at me. “I need to get dressed” he said. I looked at him. “Go on, get out” he continued. “I don’t want to get undressed in front of a girl!”

“Don’t call me a girl!” I said, stung. “I’m a boy!”

“You think?”

“Well, I’m wearing your clothes,” I tried.

“Yes, of course,” he said climbing out of the bed and pushing past me. “I always wear pretty things.” He did a ballerina twirl and blew a kiss at me, then left the room. I sat on the bed trying to work out what was going on. I tried to read some labels but I couldn’t twist around far enough and I wasn’t very good at dealing with dungarees. I was twisting around when Gina reappeared. This time she was holding a red cardigan.

“I forgot this,” she said pulling it onto one arm and then the other. “There.” She stepped back to admire her work, holding onto my arms as she did so.

“Is this Evan’s?” I decided to be direct.

“No,” she laughed. “He doesn’t wear lovely clothes, like you.”

“I don’t either really,” I tried. “I’ve never worn dungarees before.”

Gina smiled at me. “Well, you look fabulous!” I blushed and my stomach did its now familiar stretch.

“Come with me,” she said, taking me by the hand. She took me into her room and the full length mirror. “Look at you!” she said effusively. “Aren’t you a pretty thing!” I blushed but it did feel good to have such praise.

“But dad…” I started.

“Oh, you leave your dad to me,” she said and then she kissed me on the cheek and hugged me.

After she left, I felt my cheek where she had kissed me. It was such a nice feeling. I pulled the cardigan around me and hugged myself.
 
 
At breakfast, dad didn’t mention the way I was dressed. In any case, he was too busy talking soccer with Evan. I didn’t know that dad even liked football. He had never talked to me about it, thank goodness. I couldn’t help think that my dad was ignoring me so I tried to join in.

“I like Chelsea...” I began.

“Chelsea who?” Gina asked as she breezed by.

“That girl on the television?” dad asked?

I hesitated. I didn’t have any knowledge I could use and Evan was back in straight away talking about some player or team or tactic and that seemed to be enough for dad to give him back his full attention. Then, as Gina joined us at the table, the talk turned to the day ahead and I realised that dad and Evan were planning to go to see a match… without me!

“Can I come?” I asked.

They all looked at me as if I had said something shocking. Evan looked unhappy at the thought of spending any time at all with me. Dad just looked confused but Gina looked hurt. I waited.

“Well,” dad started. “If you like…” I didn’t like at all but the idea that dad was going off again without me wasn’t a nice one either.

“We’ll have fun,” Gina added. “I’ve got plans for us, too!” She looked a bit worried, like I would back out and the thought of watching stupid boys or men run around after a ball wasn’t thrilling.

“Okay,” I said and watched as smiles came to all three of them but for quite different reasons.
 
 
When we were alone, I leaned across to Evan and said, “You owe me!” I could tell I surprised him and, at first, he didn’t know what to say but then he shrugged and said “Have fun, little girl.” He got up to go.

“I’m a boy!” I shot back.

He came really close and, at first, I thought he was going to hit me. “Bet you’re not by the time we get back!” he whispered in my ear. He left the room smirking.

I sat still, taking in what he said. I wrapped the cardigan closer around me and hugged myself.
 
 
I was still sitting at the breakfast table when dad came in, coat on and football scarf around his neck, to say goodbye.

“Where did you get that scarf?” I asked.

“Evan leant it to me,” he replied. “He had two in his wardrobe.” He ruffled my hair and left.

“Must be quite a wardrobe,” I said to myself.

I decided to sulk. It was my best option. I don’t know if Gina noticed or not. If she did, she didn’t let it stop her breezing around the place. She went from room to room while I sat still brooding on being abandoned by my dad. Eventually she put her head round the door. Her smile was as wide as ever.

“Well, come on then!” she said. “These cakes won’t cook themselves!”

And that was the start of a morning of fun in the kitchen. To start with, I grunted answers to her questions or shrugged my shoulders to signal that I was in a sulk. She didn’t react but passed me ingredients, showered me with praise for the skill I showed at cooking and won me round with her endless enthusiasm and positivity. By the time the cakes were out of the oven I had forgotten my sulk, forgotten that dad had gone to a match with Evan and just enjoyed being around Gina.
 
 
It was a new and refreshing experience. Dad and I didn’t do much together, other than the weekly shop. His role was more one of checking that I was okay, whether in my solitary pursuits or over homework. He made sure I had clean clothes for school, enough pocket money to spend, and that I did not have anything bothering me. The idea that we should spend time side by side doing something fun was alien to both of us. Gina awoke in me a need to be a child with a parent ready and willing to give me their time. I know that my dad was concerned about me, especially since mum left, but he didn’t always notice me. Gina did.

I thought the cakes were for dad and Evan but Gina had other plans. She had invited some friends over. Girls, they were actually daughters of friends of hers. As she explained, Evan didn’t know many girls. My stomach stretched and Evan’s words came back to me.

“They’re coming over to play,” she explained.

“But I don’t know them,” I said, trying not to sound too cross.

“That’s why they are coming,” Gina said, laughing. “So you can get to know them. They like doing the same things as you.”

“What things?” I asked, immediately alert.

“Making up dances, things like that.”

I waited, watching Gina. It was true. That is what I did with friends at school but who had told her?

“I do other things,” I said, lamely.

“Good…” said Gina, the smile never leaving her face. “…so do they.”
 
 
Jasmine and Freya turned out to be good fun. I hadn’t met them before, they didn’t go to the same school as me and Evan. I thought this was probably a good thing. The way I was dressed, it was best if I kept the two parts of my world away from each other, or I would have some explaining to do at school. In any case, I was back to sulking. I decided that I would not be rude or anything, dad would be mad at me, but I wouldn’t be keen and ready to do whatever they wanted to do. Gina and Freya both wore ‘Keep Calm and Boogie On’ tops. I very nearly burst out with “I’ve got one of those!” but stopped myself. I noticed, too, that they were well co-ordinated. Freya’s emerald green top matched her converse and Jasmine had yellow converse to go with her yellow top. As both girls had very short denim shorts on, it seemed they had discussed clothes before arriving.

Straight away both girls suggested dancing to the music they brought along. Normally, this would have suited me but I had decided I needed to go back to sulking to make a point. I wasn’t going to be rude or anything, dad would be mad at me, but I wouldn’t be keen and ready to do whatever they wanted to do.

“You go ahead, I’ll sit here,” I told them. I picked up a magazine to hide behind then realised it was Gina’s hairstyle monthly. I put it down again and stared out of the window. The girls carried on anyway. Jasmine was the better dancer, I could see that immediately. She didn’t have many good ideas for dance moves, though, and was soon struggling. Freya didn’t have any idea; no rhythm, no sense of movement, it was painful to watch.
 
 
I sat it out for as long as possible. Gina came in with cakes and drinks but didn’t say anything. I tried to look disinterested but what with Freya’s lack of rhythm and Jasmine’s limited choreography I was finding it hard. Before too long, I was up showing Jasmine a few moves she hadn’t considered.

“Oh, wow Danny!” she exclaimed. “Where did you learn that?”

I was about to say it was natural but thought that was a little big headed so I said “at school” instead.

Jasmine and Freya tried out the moves and, to help Freya really, I joined in, showing her how to do it. When she followed me she could just about get the rhythm. I found myself moving to the beat with encouraging glances to Freya and, after one run through, we all cheered when it all went well. We giggled and fell about. Then I noticed Gina in the doorway.

“That was brilliant guys,” she said. “I should film it.”

I wasn’t sure about that but the girls were keen. Jasmine looked at me and said, “What a shame we aren’t dressed alike. I’ve got a spare top like this I could lend you. Shall I go home and get it? I’ll be five minutes.”

Gina looked at me and I reluctantly said, “No problem! I’ve got one, too. Gina bought it for me yesterday.” Gina beamed.

“I put it in Evan’s wardrobe,” she said. “And don’t forget your red converse. Danny chose converse and top to match” she explained to the girls as I headed for the stairs. She told them all about our shopping trip yesterday. She made it sound like I was a clothes fanatic.

I opened Evan’s wardrobe and was hit straight away with a clear message that Evan was a boys’ boy. All his clothes shouted masculine at me. There was a lot of stuff with football motifs on and the rest seemed to be camouflage. The colours were so dull. But, there on a shelf on the left hand side, was the red top Gina had bought me yesterday. It was the brightest thing there. I lifted it out and noticed the denim shorts underneath. I knew they weren’t Evan’s and I knew they would match the ones Jasmine and Freya had.

I picked them up and waited for my stomach stretches to calm down a bit. I unbuckled my dungaree straps and changed tops. I pulled up the straps to hook myself back in when I realised the words disappeared behind the bib-front. That, and the fact that the music had started again downstairs decided me and I stepped out of the dungarees and pulled up the shorts as quickly as I could.

They were so short!

It was like wearing boxer shorts except that they were much tighter.

I slipped on the red converse and raced back downstairs where the girls were well into the rehearsal and Gina had the camera ready. I slipped straight into the routine and immediately we were laughing and joking. Our arms were going up in the air, around our heads and sweeping in front of us. We jumped, skipped and sashayed around. Gina recorded it all.

It was such fun!

When we had drunk some more and eaten more cakes, which Freya and Jasmine complimented me on by the way, we watched the recording of our dances. We giggled when we saw ourselves and made fun of each other and the way we moved although both girls told me quite seriously that I was the better dancer.

I was sorry to see them go and surprised that a whole afternoon had passed by. Dad and Evan returned soon after full of talk about the soccer. They went on and on. I was quite pleased when Gina shut them up and said we, too, had had fun. She produced the cakes we made. Dad was complimentary but Evan didn’t say a thing even though he stuffed his face. Then, we watched the recordings and Gina and dad said our dancing was great. Dad seemed genuinely surprised by how good a dancer I was. Gina was full of compliments.

“Look how graceful you are,” she said pointing out my arm movements. “Freya and Jasmine could learn a lot from you.”

I laughed all over again watching our dancing, especially as I could hear the shrieks we kept making in-between the moves. Then, the words from Evan came back to me and the smile died on my face. I glanced over at him and he raised his eyebrows, ‘told you’ he seemed to say.

I looked again with different eyes. We looked like three girls dancing along. We looked alike, dancing there. Freya had longer hair but Jasmine and I had similar lengths and, what with the bouncing up and down our styles looked so similar. It dawned on me that we had been dancing to songs with titles such as ‘Sisters’ and ‘You Go, Girl’. I hadn’t thought about the words when we were dancing. I had just danced.

Now, I wondered how I had let myself get sucked in to wearing girls’ shorts and a top from a girls’ clothes shop. I felt self- conscious and tried to hide my long legs by pulling them up under me as I sat but that gesture, too, made me look girly.

When dinner was served, I was once again in dungarees and the red cardigan. I chose them as the better option even though I had checked before putting them back on that, yes they had come from the ‘Miss Second Glance’ store. Worse, when I stepped out of the shorts in the privacy of the bedroom I noticed for the first time that the pastel yellow underpants were not for boys at all. In the fuss to hide my embarrassment that morning, I had missed that fact completely.

Evan was right.

Nothing I wore was for a boy. Nothing I had worn all day was for a boy!
 
 
It was only back home with dad, with school every day, that I thought back on the weekend and decided I must have been mistaken about the girl clothes. Maybe I had built it up in my mind to be something it wasn’t. Maybe Gina had borrowed clothes for me so that I wouldn’t feel so awkward and out of place when the girls came round. These thoughts went around my head all week, walking to school, walking home, drifting into daydreams when I was watching television with dad. The further we got from the weekend, the more I convinced myself that I must have been mistaken about the clothes.

In any case, Emily didn’t say anything and she had seen me in town on Saturday. Perhaps they were boy clothes after all. To help me think, I played with the necklace I wore all the time now. It helped. Jewellery was banned from school, so I kept it hidden. At home, I would let it play through my mouth when I was trying to figure things out.

I still had nagging doubts, though. For starters I had a pair of girls’ knickers in my bedroom, stuffed under my mattress. I was so embarrassed about everything when we got home that Sunday night that I did not dare put them in the laundry. What would dad say? I had changed into my jeans and hoody before leaving Gina’s, ‘so that she I can do the laundry ready for next week’, she said. I forgot about the knickers or rather did not want to be naked in their house again so it was only when we got home that I had the problem about what to do with them.

Dad did not mention one word about the way I was dressed for most of the weekend. That just added to my confusion but also made me wonder if I had got it wrong. On the journey home all he talked about was the fun he and Evan had had. At one point he turned to me and asked,

“You don’t mind me spending time with him, do you?” I was going to point out that I was his son and not Evan but that would sound sulky and anyway he didn’t wait for an answer but told me, instead, that it was good for me to get to know Gina better.

That night, getting undressed, I stuffed the knickers under my mattress and collapsed on my bed. Best to forget it ever happened, I thought.
 
 
The next weekend was already planned. Once again, we would spend the whole time with Gina and Evan at their house. I really liked Gina and could tolerate her son but I still felt strange about things. I was determined that I wouldn’t be abandoned by dad again.

“We will spend time together won’t we?” I asked.

He smiled. “Of course we will! But…” I waited for the rest. “This weekend is a busy one for me and I have a big project on.”

I sighed. He looked across and continued. “So, I’m so grateful that Gina has got lots planned for you and…” He made a trumpet noise. “…I get to come home to you all with meals cooked. Just like a family.” He looked over again, a bit more concerned in case he had gone too far with that last bit.

“Doesn’t Evan spend any time with his dad?”

Dad looked at me again. “Evan’s dad died, years ago. I thought you knew.”

“Why would I know?” I asked him, feeling a bit bad for Evan.

“Well, I don’t know… you go to the same school. I just thought you knew.”

Now I would have to be nicer to him or I would feel rubbish. Dad telling me it happened years ago didn’t make much difference either. Nor the fact that Gina had had several boy friends since then. Then dad really hit home with, “but we are the first to stay over. Gina thinks this is serious… and so do I.” He left that hanging in the air.

Gina, Evan, Dad; I was trying to please everybody. Gina was lovely, her usual warm self. When she greeted us on Friday evening, I realised that I had missed her. Her hug was just what I needed after a long day at school. We had spoken over the ‘phone during the week but she and dad had agreed that it was best to keep visits to weekends so that our routines were kept the same. Anyway, once we were there, I was pleased, and I even tried a smile at Evan, who looked unimpressed.

I wondered if I would have to get changed out of my school uniform but nobody said anything. It was the first thing out of dad’s mouth every day after school, even on days when I was already out of uniform and in play clothes; almost as if he had to say it anyway. Gina didn’t, though and I half thought she would have something arranged for me. The fact that she hadn’t, made me wonder again if I had misread last week. Maybe, I had exaggerated everything.

Bedtime put paid to that! We were watching a comedy on the television when Gina announced that I needed to get ready for bed.

“What about Evan?” I shot back. Having no brothers or sisters I was amazed by how quickly I learned the rules of fairness and advantage.

“He’s a year older than you,” said dad without moving. Gina meanwhile was at the foot of the stairs and was gesturing for me to follow. She also had her ‘mother’s waiting’ look which worked every time with Evan. Had it been my dad, I would have made a fuss but I didn’t feel that I could with Gina. I followed her showing as much of a sulk as I dared.
 
 
Upstairs, Gina sent me into the bathroom. At least she didn’t try and wash me as well! When I returned to the bedroom, she had made up a bed on the mattress on the floor.

“We must do something about a proper bed soon,” she said. I didn’t tell her that I had my own bed at home because the thought had only popped into my head when she pulled off my school sweatshirt and started undressing me.

“I can do it,” I said but the sound was muffled under my clothes as layer after layer came off. She had my shirt over my head without undoing the buttons.

“I have to undo the buttons,” I said, blushing because I knew that dad moaned about that all the time. She handed me my shirt but then pulled my trousers down while I had my hands full.

“Step out,” she trilled and I stepped sideways. I fell back onto Evan’s bed which allowed her to take off my socks. Honestly, it was more than I could cope with. Had Evan been undressed like this at ten years old?

“Arms up,” she continued and she lowered what looked like a T shirt down over my arms and head. I thought dad had packed for this weekend.

“I’ve got pyjamas somewhere,” I said. Gina, smiling, ignored this comment as she did all my comments which didn’t fit in with her way of organising me.

“Stand up,” she said and the nightie fell down and around my knees.

I didn’t know what to say. I looked down and held out my arms to get the full effect. It had white short sleeves, which is why I thought it was a T shirt, and the rest was a pastel blue. There was a cartoon baboon on the front with words which I couldn’t make out at first but then realised it said ‘Best Buddies’. At least that wasn’t girly but it was still a nightshirt, or nightgown, or nightie!

What was she thinking of?
 
 
“Step forward,” Gina continued and I stepped into the pastel blue slippers she had placed in front of me. “There,” she smiled. She picked up the hair brush and gestured for me to take my place on the stool so that she could brush my hair. I sat silently, trying to think my way through what I was going to do about this situation. Her brushing was so gentle and she hummed as she worked. My hair wasn’t that long but it was much longer than normal. It covered my ears and I had to brush it out of my eyes from time to time. Now, with Gina slowly gliding the brush through my hair, I thought about when dad had come home one day, having had his hair cut. We always had our hair cut together at the same place.

When I questioned him, he told me he decided to get a cut on the way home from work.

“You work from home, dad,” I reminded him.

“So?” he replied and that had been that. It was about the time that he first mentioned a new person he had met called Gina. I had forgotten about my hair, until now, and wondered why dad hadn’t taken me for a cut the next week like he promised.

I also wondered what dad would say about this nightwear. I knew Evan would smirk but maybe I should say out loud that as it came from his wardrobe, it was obviously his! I knew, even as I thought it, that words such as those would be weak against a boy as tough as Evan.
 
 
Gina held out a pastel blue towelling dressing gown for me to wear. She wrapped it around me and then hugged me. I felt like a cotton wool ball!

“Little Danny, you are so cute!” she said smothering her face in the towelling. I giggled at that but only reluctantly followed her downstairs. I grew more self-conscious the further down the stairs I got. How could I walk back in the room in all this girlery? I sat on the bottom step of the stairs listening to the scene in the next room. Everything about Gina’s house was homely and welcoming. All of us watching television, food served with love, her smile. It was a complete change for me and dad. And sitting there I could hear how happy dad was. It was just too hard to walk in the room.

I sat with my head in my hands wondering what to do next. I looked at my feet in the pastel blue slippers. I didn’t wear slippers at home, neither did dad. I lifted one up to read the label but couldn’t find one. Perhaps they are for a boy! I knew as I thought it that it wasn’t true but the whole situation needed thinking through. In the room, I heard my favourite television programme had started.

It was Evan who came to my rescue. He appeared in the doorway and looked me up and down. I could tell he was taking in the sight of me dressed in girls’ nightwear and wondering what to say. However, he didn’t make fun of me but instead came behind me and sat on the step above the one I was on.

“You coming in?”

I shrugged.

He didn’t say anything more but reached out and tickled me under the arms. I giggled. I was so ticklish there! He didn’t stop but carried on so I had to move away to be free. He didn’t give up and in the end I backed away into the room, laughing and almost screaming with delight when he carried on.
 
 
So it was that I made my entrance and soon everyone was laughing and having fun and it ended with me snuggled up between Gina and my dad, watching television and eating snacks, all the stuff dad didn’t let me have at home. It was great.

Evan sat across the room but he and dad kept up a running commentary about the things on the television and I just sat still enjoying the warmth and closeness of the pair either side of me.

When Evan had to get ready for bed, I had them both to myself and Gina hugged me into her side where I rested my head. Evan appeared in his dressing gown, pyjamas and slippers looking every inch the soccer player he was. Honestly, could he not wear a single item of clothing without a football stitched on it somewhere?

I had to go to bed an hour earlier than Evan but I didn’t complain.

I lay in bed thinking about the evening and how protected I had felt. Wearing the girls’ nightwear had seemed unimportant. Dad hadn’t mentioned it and even Evan had been sort of nice.

I didn’t hear Evan come to bed.

I had drifted off, feeling content.
 

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To Be Continued...