Tuesday 7th July

Dear Diary,

That was truly awful, it wasn't a debrief it was a slaughter. I was in tears and no-one offered me a tissue.

One of the police officers at the house, Justin, had taken me to Broxbourne railway station so I could get a train into Enfield. I was on my own but that bit was easy. My task was to locate Sophie and find out who she was meeting. All I knew was where she would be at eleven.

It started well enough, she was exactly where I knew to find her but in the split second when I checked the time for my log, she'd gone. I wanted to run but part of the training had been to avoid bringing attention to myself.

It took ten minutes for me to track her down, I finally saw her in a coffee shop on the piazza. I was looking for her at eye level and she was hiding in plain sight sat on a chair. Don't make assumptions, they told me, don't make assumptions.

I ordered a drink from one of the other outlets and used my phone to snap a few pictures of her and anyone nearby. I almost missed it when she got up to leave.

I really wished I could have brought my usual camera and a long lens but it would have looked weird inside a shopping centre, plus I would have needed a camera bag for the spare lenses. It was quite a warm day so I was in shorts and a t-shirt, with a small shoulder bag, trying to blend in.

Sophie was off again and wandered into one of the women's fashion stores. Now, I don't see Sophie as the girly girly type, I've never seen her shopping so I guessed this was a time waster. My problem, I didn't want to look out of place so I started to look at stuff, I could do with another swimsuit!

Of course, I lost Sophie, that wasn't that the idea after all?

I found her about fifteen minutes later, but some of that time was while I was waiting to pay for my swimsuit in Primark. Dave Brown was now with her, they were sat in a different coffee shop. I did what I could to take photos and didn't spot the police officers behind me, apparently security had called them.

They told me there had been complaints, that I was harassing other shoppers. I couldn't say what I was really doing so I said I was on assignment, I had my press card with me and showed them that.

I thought that would be enough but they said my press card was worthless as it wasn't a nationally approved one. I told them I had got it in Scotland and I was working for Europe Exposition Magazine, but that didn't help as they just claimed it wasn't valid in England and the magazine was a made-up name.

Then they asked if I'd told the shopping centre management that I wanted to work there? Did I have permission? Of course I didn't so I claimed innocence and ignorance.

All this time Sophie had stayed but Dave had gone. Out of the corner of my eye someone else arrived and sat with her, I really wanted a photo.

I pulled my phone to the side and tried to take one while I had a clear view of them, but without alerting the officers. A few seconds later I was being handcuffed, so much for stealth.

I was taken back to their car and put in the back while they ran checks on me, of course that created more hassle as my police records are locked, no-one under Inspector level can see them. One of the coppers starting shouting at me, so I burst into tears; damn hormones.

They said I would be taken to Enfield police station but we ended up at Enfield Town railway station, I was told to get on a train out of town. I had no energy to argue, Justin was waiting for me at Broxbourne to take me back to the house.

I didn't want any lunch so I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

At three the housekeeper woke me and said I was needed in the study. That's when the nightmare started up again.

Everything I'd done was pulled apart and thrown back at me, every decision was analysed and ridiculed. I got my own back with the sly photo of Sophie and the stranger, it was a bit blurred but was usable.

I had to describe my humiliation at being arrested, then Sophie asked if I'd been cautioned? I hadn't, so it wasn't an arrest, it was a stitch up. I could have been grabbed by fake officers and I wouldn't have known. I got really angry, especially when Sophie said she'd briefed the coppers, real coppers, and told them it was an exercise.

I was ready to chuck it all away, I hadn't been in control and it hurt like crazy. I didn't want to go back through that again, ever.

Wednesday 8th July

Another day, another exercise. I did go through it again.

This time we went to Brent Cross, that's where Dad, Angela and I were going last December when my mum, my birth mother, ended up causing traffic hell for everyone in that part of North London.

So, it went easier this time. I didn't try to follow too much and I learnt from Sophie's actions the previous day. Don't make assumptions, they said, but people are creatures of habit.

I sorted out a position in the food court and had a drink in front of me to sip. I was playing with my phone and took the odd picture of the art that was there. I also smiled at the security guards when they came round.

Someone else saw my smile and this lad, about eighteen, invited himself to my table. Of course Sophie had just arrived in the area and this guy was blocking most of my view. Anyway, we chatted and I randomly took pics of him and the surroundings.

We chatted a bit more and, I'm sorry to say, I did flirt a little. I didn't get a thrill out of it but I think he enjoyed the experience. Sophie now had a man sat with her but I couldn't get a clear shot.

My bladder was playing up and I needed a wee. I made my excuses and quickly walked to the ladies but as soon as I turned the corner I doubled back out. Sophie and her friend were stood, ready to part and I got a really sharp photo before my bladder emergency alarm went off.

When I came out neither was anywhere to be seen and my flirt was gone. I think his name was Gary, or Gareth, or something. Nice blue eyes though.

The debrief wasn't as bad this time and they hadn't spotted my doubling-back. I still couldn't name the man she'd spoken to but that was less important. I happily filled in an encounter report and submitted it.

Thursday 9th July

Suzie spent the whole day with me, showing me how to use the online tools to research someone's finances and personal history. Some of the tools were available to the public, most people leave a trail of evidence across the internet from the time when they're at school and throughout their working lives, just use intelligent searching.

Some of the financial tools needed special accounts on websites and she gave me the logins, other tools could only be used through the Security Service Intranet, she suggested I looked myself up and I was amazed at the depth of information available; this really was an eye-opener.

After lunch we sat to do some real work, checking Martin Gore out. What we were looking for were accomplices, financial and other records of connections to others. He was single with no dependants and was only twenty five, a high flyer? His photo, taken at his graduation two years ago, showed him to be a handsome man. I think my eyes lingered on him for a little too long as Suzie gave me a slap!

Dave checked in with us just before dinner and said he was going home. I didn't ask where that was and I probably wouldn't be told.

Friday 10th July

Suzie stayed overnight and we did some more work in the morning but straight after lunch Justin drove us to Stansted Airport. We had tickets in the names of Beccy Adams (me) and Sarah Jones (Suzie), we'd last used those identities at Easter when we'd flown out of the Scilly Isles.

We flew into Glasgow so we could meet up with Angela and mum at a bridal shop. Mum had taken Angela to see the Professor a week earlier and had found this gorgeous peach dress for herself in a shop off Argyle Street. Thankfully she hadn't reserved a dress anywhere else. Suzie had made the reservation in our fake names at the Glasgow Central Hotel and even had a Sarah Jones bank card. She told me I needed to make this trip without leaving any evidence that I had been to Glasgow.

My biggest worry was my phone, it leaves traces of evidence everywhere! She said to disable data so Facebook and the rest couldn't connect but I needed to make and receive calls so that was a bit of a kludge. Maybe I'll get a disposable phone for such times in the future?

Mum and Angela met us at eight, they'd had a long journey from Thurso and mum had worked until lunchtime, school was still open for the lower years and the year 11s were in the midst of their GCSE exams. Tanya was apparently taming herself after the Head threatened to tear up her contract and throw her out of the cottage. Today would be the first time she was the duty Welfare Officer, I just hope she can cope?

We had dinner in a restaurant not far from the hotel and caught up with gossip, Angela really wanted to ask me what I'd been doing but mum tried to stop her. In the end I said I'd been to two shopping centres that week and she accused me of not being interested in my training!

Saturday 11th July

Three bridesmaids! I'm sure the shop assistant would have preferred eight or ten year olds instead of us, especially when I thought she wasn't doing her job right! Mum gave me and Angela a dressing down in front of the other customers, I guess I deserved it.

By the end of the morning we were pretty sure that we wanted the frocks and that they would fit. I can't say I found it pleasant being stood in the dressing room in just knickers, especially with Angela and Suzie in similar states. Thankfully this wasn't the first time we'd bared nearly all but, even so, it was a strange experience. Angela was not happy at all, she still has to use enhancers to help her shape and I don't think she wants stick ons.

I was really getting excited about the wedding but it was still six weeks away. We'd have to come back here in five or so weeks for final fitting, that was going to be a bind from Cornwall.

We had lunch and then went our separate ways, Angela and Mum were taking the train from Glasgow Central while Sarah and Beccy were flying to Newquay.

It's never that simple and we were pulled over at the security check. I still had some identity documents hidden in my make-up bag but my handbag was devoid of anything with my real name, all that was there was my fake passport. I didn't have any bank cards, driving licence or store loyalty cards, that was apparently a problem as no-one travels like that unless they're hiding something. Sarah, on the other hand, had almost a complete identity kit in her bag.

The security guard decided I needed to be searched, given that I was in a short skirt and a simple top there really wasn't anything to search. We were in danger of missing our flight!

The baggage search was pitiful, not really a deep search and he didn't look in my make-up bag!. I just tried to explain that I'd picked up the wrong shoulder bag that morning but that wasn't enough. Then they called Special Branch to check me out.

Perhaps they should have done that at the beginning, it seems 'Beccy Adams' was on their database with a special flag telling them not to ask questions!

We just made the flight to Manchester and thankfully the connection for Newquay was on time. I was worn out when we arrived, but no-one had explained why Suzie was in Cornwall with me. She had hired a car so we drove to the cottage to meet Heather.

Jo met us at the door and told us which rooms we were in, Heather was in her own room doing something and couldn't be disturbed.