My Safe Place - Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

I wake up with confusion. Where was I and what happened to my room? I look around the place and see another bed in the same room and it hit me, I was not living with my dad anymore. I look at the bed and notice it was empty. I remember that I had a roommate now and her name is Ashley. I was in a foster home or something.

I look at the clock on the wall. It said it was 9:08. The sun was out, so it must have been morning, which meant I should be in school. I knew it wasn't the weekend yet, because yesterday was only Thursday.

I jump out of bed and make a mad dash for the bathroom. I really needed to pee badly. While I did my business, I didn't hear the door to my room open up. I was still sleepy and really wished I had someone to talk to when I woke up. I could go down and see Nikki. I quickly finish up.

Looking in the mirror, I look at myself and see I had bed head. Time to brush my hair. This didn't take long to brush, since I brushed it last night, or should I say Ashley did. I giggle.

When I got out of the room, I notice there was a tray on my bed with food on it. I wondered how it got there. I start to cry. I have never had breakfast in years. Well, I have, but it was usually just something small and cold. This was a hot breakfast. This was the works. Scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes with maple syrup, orange juice and toast with jam. It made my tummy growl.

I ran to the tray to eat it. I took my time eating, not like the KFC I had last night. I felt more comfortable now that I was able to eat a meal and not worry that I won't have another meal today.

While I was eating, I notice a card on the tray as well. I open it up.

“Kiara,” I read. “When your done eating, bring down the tray to the dining room and come to the office. - Nikki”

I wonder what she wants? While I was eating, I got a better glance at what my room looks like. On Ashley's side of the room, I notice she has a small flat screen TV on her dresser. I jump off my bed and take a closer look at it. I have never seen a flat screen television set before. At my dad's house, we had an old 1969 RCA television set. It was so old, we didn't even have a remote, just the old switches. The only way we were able to watch TV was dad stealing cable from the box located in our yard. It was usually just basic TV stations. I'm surprised that we never got caught.

As I look at the small Sony flat screen TV, I wondered if Ashley would be mad if I watched a show on it. I didn't think she would. I looked around and saw the remote on her bed and decided to turn it on.

I wasn't sure what channel she had it on, but there was a cartoon and I sat down on my bed and ate the rest of my breakfast and watched it.

After I was done eating, I continued watching the show. I didn't want to leave in the middle, even during the commercials. I must have laughed a lot, which was not something I ever did, because dad never let me. After the show was over, I headed down with my tray to the dining room.

I looked around the room, not knowing where to put it.

A lady was sitting at a table knitting a sweater. I walked over to her. “Where do I drop this tray off?” I asked her. I never met her before, but I believe she was staff. She looked at me and then just pointed towards the kitchen. It was kind of rude. Why didn't she speak?

As I walked towards the kitchen, I got a little worried. I knew I wasn't supposed to go in it. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I was about to turn around when an older lady opened it and saw me.

“You know your not suppose to bother me while I am cooking!” she growled.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know,” I quivered. “I handed her the tray, which she snatched out of my hands. I ended up running out of the dining room crying. I ran half way down the hall and sat down with my knees and head together rocking back and forth. I must have been there for a quite some time, because Nikki came looking for me.

When she found me, she knelt down next to me. I looked up at her. With tears in my eyes, I hugged her, which she gave me a hug back. Nikki got up off the floor and picked me up. It might look babyish to some people, but I felt comfortable being with her.

“Kiara, I would like you to see our building social worker.” She said, looking me in the eyes. “She is expecting you.” I was confused. “Don't worry, she's a very nice lady.

We walked down the hall to a room which was not on the tour last night. Inside the room, there was a young lady sitting at a desk, talking on her phone. She noticed us come in and put up a finger like she was saying one second, or something.

I sit down in a chair, where I looked around the room. There were many things, cabinets, posters, picture frames with words in it, but no picture in it and even some toys in a corner of the room. I was interested in the toys.

When the lady got off the phone, she looked over at us.
“Hi, Nikki and this must be Kiara?” She looks down at me.

I was a little shy.

“It's nice to meet the young girl that everyone is talking about,” the lady smiled at me. I gave a weak smile back.

Nikki headed to the door. “Thanks for taking her on short notice Ms. Reinhold.” She looks over at me. “Kiara, once you are done, please head to my office.” As she walks out of the room, I wave to her, which she waves back.”

Ms. Reinhold looks back down at me. I was sitting in the seat my feet were moving back and fourth. I was very nervous. “First of all, before we start talking, I have a few things to talk about.” She takes out a sheet from a cabinet. “As you have heard my name is Ms. Reinhold, I am a Social Worker here at Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth.” She hands me the sheet of paper. “Everything we talk about in this room is strictly confidential, I won't speak about it to anyone, unless you give me permission to do so or if you plan to hurt yourself or someone else.”

I was a little fidgety in my chair. She noticed and went in a cupboards in the back of the room. She grabbed some paper and crayons. “If you want, you could draw me a picture. Draw me whatever you want. Whatever is in your mind.” She hands me the crayons and paper. “While you draw, I would like to ask a few questions. If that is alright?”

I nodded and started coloring.

“If I ask a question and you don't want to answer it, please let me know.”

I nodded again.

“How do you like school?”

“Uh,” This was a little weird. Why would she ask me about my school. “School is fine.” I continued coloring.

“Is there anything you liked or disliked about your school?” Ms. Reinhold added.

“Well,” I continued coloring and Ms. Reinhold looked at it. “Well, Phy-Ed. I hate it. The gym teacher thinks of me as a boy and not a girl. I am forced to do what the boys do. The girls don't have to do the tough stuff, but the boys are told they have too.” I am scribbling my frustration out on the drawing. Which Ms. Reinhold notices. “I am always called a boy in the school. Even if I use girls clothes, they still call me it. The Principal is a dumb ass and so are all the teachers. Since dad never gave me money for food, I would never be able to eat lunch and would end up hungry for the whole day. Sometimes…”

“Whose the boy in your picture?” Ms. Reinhold failed to change the subject.

“He's Mark Plantz,” I grumbled. “He's a bully in my class. I hate him so much.”

“Can you explain him to me?”

I got away from my picture and looked up at Ms. Reinhold. She looked sad. “Ever since I was in Kindergarten, he has been picking on me!” I yell, which I was told to calm my voice. I speak softer. With a sigh I continue. “He pulls my hair and calls me names all the time. I always get in trouble because of him. He never got in trouble, except that one time when he swore in front of the principal. But besides that time, he is the teachers pet and I am the class clown.”

I went back to my drawing, but I was crying a little. Ms. Reinhold was writing down what I say.

“Tell me, whats your favorite color?”

“It's pink.” I smiled. “And purple. I also like baby blue. I have a dress upstairs that is those colors. It's my favorite dress. In fact its my only dress. I wish I could go shopping for more clothes. My clothes I have are all worn and ugly.” I look at my clothes I am wearing. It was Ashley's sleepwear. “These are not my clothes. I am borrowing them from Ashley.”

“Ashley is your roommate, is that correct?”

“Uh Huh,” I started drawing Ashley. I can't wait until she is back from school. Well, That's where I think she's at.

She changes the subject again, which I wish she didn't “What is your relationship between your father?”

I didn't speak. I kept coloring.

“You can tell me if you don't want to talk about it” There was silence in the room. I continued coloring. She watched me color. She finally broke the silence. “Did he try to hurt you?” I didn't speak.

Ms. Reinhold wrote more things down. After a few minutes, Time was up and she let me leave. I headed to the office, which Nikki was waiting for me.

“Hi, Kiara,” she greeted me. “I'm so glad you made it.” She takes something out of her desk. “As a special treat for entering the CC House, everyone is given a $200 gift card for shopping at the Walmart here in Crescent City.” I was overjoyed “If you hurry up and change, we can go shopping right away, if you want.”

I was so excited, that I ran up to my room to take my favorite dress out of the closet. I knew this would be the first time, in public, besides school and the walk home from the bus, that I would be in the dress. I got to the closet and stopped.

Ashley's dresses were prettier than mine. Should I wear one of them? I looked at mine and then at one of Ashley's. I felt a little ashamed. I wanted to use hers, but mine was special. It was my first dress and my favorite, but hers would really make me prettier. I couldn't decide. I looked at mine and was sad. Dad almost destroyed this dress. If he saw it, I wouldn't have it right now.

I think of the other clothes I lost in the barbeque grill.

I sit down on my bed and notice Ashley's TV was still on. I forgot to turn it off when I left the room earlier. Just like before, it was on a cartoon I have never seen, but looked very interesting. I sat down on my bed and watched it.

Nikki came up to my room and noticed me watching the show. I didn't know she was there. She walked into the room watched the show with me. Well, I'm guessing show was, because she wasn't saying anything. When a commercial came on, I got up off my bed to get ready and saw her, which made me jump.

“Don't hurt me!” I cried. I put my hands to my face.

“Oh, sweetie,” she started walking over to me. I backed away. “I wasn't ...”

“No! I don't want the hanger!” I started crying.

“Don't cry.”

“Stop it! Stop it!” I screamed. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Nikki walked over to the door and knocked. “Leave me alone! I hate you! I hate you!”

Nikki grabbed her cellphone and called someone on it. “Hello, Dr. Frank, This is Nikki from Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth I have a young child here, that is having a mental breakdown. Is it possible you could come over?”

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Comments

poor Kiara

Yikes...not a good situation. PTSD situation with unintentional revelation of severe physical abuse.
At least she will get the needed help, hopefully the scumbag father gets more charges added to his growing rap sheet.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

I agree.

I agree totally

places

Alecia Snowfall's picture

there are places that exist. Some people visit them. Some explore them. Some live in them. Places that defy reason. These places can only be found within other people. Their very being. Some are ugly and some are beautiful. Many are horrifying. When I was heavily into SecondLife (the virtual world) I visited many places that reflected their owners. Some made their place a reflection of their most precious dream and others created an interpretation of their nightmares. The thing was though, after visiting those places I was free to leave and return to my own place. For some people though no matter where they go, they are still trapped in the place they were. Many here know this. The darkest and most horrifying places in existence are not found in a building or a country. They exist within our minds and souls. Finding a way to lock those doors is as unique as the person that owns that place. I am very interested in where natasha will take us in this story. What lesson will she teach us? and now that I've asked those questions, its time to wait for the answers to reveal themselves.

quidquid sum ego, et omnia mea semper; Ego me.
alecia Snowfall

i so hate f;ckers who hurt

i so hate f;ckers who hurt kids they should be burnt alive

Unfortunately...

many times they hurt kids because they were hurt as kids. Abuse can go back for generations. The only real solution, I feel, is for the current generation to become consciously aware of the situation and strive to break the cycle as they have children of their own.

Suzij