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Read this on Pixable, and several of these in particular hit very close to home for me.
Take a look-see, how many of these are behaviors you've seen in yourself? Some of them are very damaging and make it difficult to find long term happiness. As I know all too well. :-(
7 Ways People Who Have Been Emotionally Abused Love Differently
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I see at least three ways on
I see at least three ways on there, two of which I have exhibited on this site already. :(
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
When you add that we have secrets
so tend to be guarded as well then compound it with all the above and more, life is complicated and I don't expect to have any further relationships - not worth it.
Angharad
So...
Whilst all of these are basically true, I have an eighth to add: The need to be perfect. Often one feels as though the abuse might be justified because of a perceived imperfection on the part of the abuser. The abused will tend to correct something that in fact may not even exist. This impacts interpersonal relationships because the abused feels the need to always measure up and be 'all things to all people'. This particularly occurs when the emotional abuse is tied to physical abuse as well. It really sucks because it's hard to be perfect in an imperfect world.
This isn't normal???
I thought this was normal. I've had comments that I push people away. Hmmmm. Just one more thing that is my fault.
Gwen
No, Gwen
The point behind this article is that our behavior is shaped or affected by something that was done to us, something we had no control over. One of the biggest lies abusers (both physical and mental) employ is "You made me do this". That is pure BS! That's right up there with the rapist that says "She was asking for it, look at the way she was dressed." Each person has control of their actions, they either can't or won't accept responsibility for their behavior.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Desire for affection
And isn't it odd that some of us, I'll admit to it, want affection more than anything else. I've always wished someone would ignore my barriers and love me anyhow. That's what many of us do.
We all want love
But not the strings-attached kind of love and affection that some offer. If I have to change, surrender myself to somebody else, in order to get their "love", then it isn't really love. Yes, I hate the lonely evenings and cold nights, but some things are just not subject to being compromised.
This is not intended as a slam at you, Gwen. This is simply a statement of who I am and how I feel. I just want to point out that doing the same thing over and over and getting the same crappy result suggests that its time to consider a different approach. Doing the same analysis on myself points up the fact that I am too inflexible, and this is a fatal flaw in any relationship. A little self-examintion and a willingness to bend in some things would be good for me.
That's probably a good idea for many of us.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Failure of direction
No slam taken. Examining total abandonment of belief system. Feeling betrayed by it. Hope my feelings calm. Wish I could just diappear. No pity party. Plan to sit quietly.