Ok... first thing. Go find a box of tissues. Bring them to wherever you plan to read. I'll wait.
Tissues ready? Good. You're going to need them. I certainly did, when I first read this in drafts and again while editing.
But before we jump to this week's content release, I'd like to point out that you can read tonights release in two places. Here on the crystalhall site. If you DO read it here, you're welcome to post comments on the blog post set up for that purpose over at BCTS like last week. OR, you can read the new story over at our shiny new site at ** whateleyacademy.net ** We're still a few days away from opening things up to full admissions and are just testing things with a few trusted invited authors and readers, but we do have enough set up that we can post this story under the canon heading AND you can post comments on the comment system at the bottom of the story (even if you aren't registered yet).
As we've noted in the forums a number of times. Canon does not always directly equate to 'best' and we try to reassure fan fiction authors that just because they don't get top billing (and often, the canon authors don't read them at all to avoid mixing up our understanding of the universe), it doesn't mean they aren't doing good work. In fact, to support this stance; we started a new policy in which we might canonize a story even without bringing in an author completely to canon. This involves pairing them up with a canon sponsor who ensures all the continuity issues are resolved and the two authors put together a full piece that is released as officially part of the canon. We recently got word of a short piece that, in the current internet parlance... nailed it. And since then, Elrod has been working with this author to bring you today's story. It is, perhaps, one of the best stories of the Whateley Universe and a clear victory in terms of the 'canonization' policy. So here it is, Hank/Lancer's first full PoV story as told by Elrod and Phoenix Spiritus.
http://www.crystalhall.org/tosleepperchancetodream.html OR at the http://whateleyacademy.net new site,
--------------------- POST YOUR COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK FOR ELROD AND PHOENIX SPIRITUS HERE -------------------------------
Comments
Congrats Phoenix
I can't read it tonight, but having read your micro scenes with Hank, I know this will be good.
And with Elrods help it's gotta really shine.
Ok I'm off to bed, I'll have a comment on the story tomorrow.
~grumble~
I wanted to read the slam dunk of the MCO, DPA and ADA.
and see how Carson leveraged their actions into more concessions for Whateley, with an ada getting fired.
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.
Lol,
Lol,
Unfortunately Canon authors have this big thing called "continuity" they rabbit on about. Hank's big vengeance was curtailed at the altar of expedience in subservience to the continuing Canon plot line, but it would have been aweso... Nah, let's be honest, the current story was much better then that plot anyway :p
Heart-wrenching story
Okay, only into the first few paragraphs and I'm already tearing up. Just reliving/rereading the death of Jamie and seeing their reactions.
Nice to see insight into how everyone else was reacting behind the scenes of the other story, so to speak. Without knowing what even the readers did, I would be freaking out they would come after me next as well.
Very few writers I've read show the different stages of grief well. This was exceptional, especially the anger which Hank feels, not wishing to listen to others, lashing out with his words.
Ouch, it was hard reading it in the fanfic, harder still in the official version when Hank has confirmation that Jamie is dead and can't deny it anymore. Felt like a stab to the heart with the pain he was radiating.
Heartfelt dream and insight into how Hank feels about his transformation from Hannah, always nice to learn something new about the characters. The 2nd dream, nice to know Hank still enjoys some of what she loved as Hannah, if only she wasn't afraid of being teased and would open up. And forcing himself to stay awake so he won't relive memories of his times with Jamie, he seriously needs help and fast.
Ouch, with his emotions all over the place rationality is completely out the window. Seeing Lily comforting Kayda, he was bound react badly right now.
Got me crying again when Angel realized she couldn't comfort Hank.
And the psychotic break while in the sims, even someone as dense and insensitive as Peeper would be able to tell that Hank seriously needs help. Too bad with serious mental and emotional health issues it is often hard to notice these things ourselves. Speak from experience.
Helping Ms. Guzman go through Jamie's things, another tear-jerking scene. Able to share their pain and grief with each other and comfort each other, hard to read through the tears.
And we finally hear the reason for the ton of gold and it is a good one. Always thought she was trying to teach them a lesson. Also glad that her talk with Hank helped him straighten his head out.
Darn it, getting hard to read through the tears. Poor Ms. Guzman, she lost a daughter, not in body but in heart and spirit. It makes you wish you could just reach through the screen and somehow hug and comfort her.
Hervik, even with the aid of Ayla and Lily holding him and calming him down I don't think I could restrained myself from lunging at him like Hank did. Slime like that makes you wonder if they are even human.
Feeling like you don't fit in, I know that all too well. Until now no one knew how hard the transformation was on Hank, I'm glad to see him opening up to Lily about it.
Another tear-jerking scene, when Hank is told they got Jamie's killer. A mixture of relief and sadness in his tears and hard not to cry along with him.
Dang it, now you have me bawling. That last scene with him and Lily, sharing the things Hank shared with Jamie and opening up, is a great way to remember Jamie.
This was an amazing story, a real tear-jerker through and through and something which definitely needed to be told. Great work from both of you, Elrod and Phoenix Spiritus.
Wow Dreamer, Thank you for
Wow Dreamer, Thank you for the detailed comment, this is something that's really nice to get as a writer, I can really see which parts of our writing worked well or not :)
Thank you for taking the trouble to note this down for us.
Oh, every part of this story
Oh, every part of this story and writing definitely works. I was too tired while reading it late last night to think of anything else but here is some additional notes of what I took from the story. P.S. Tried to post this over on the comments for the story on the new Crystal Hall, goofed up and tried to register [saw Warren's new forum name and thought it was someone else and that registrations were open. Got overly excited and tried to register myself, should have waited for announcement, my bad.] and now have to wait to comment as it has my user name and email in the system and requires me to login to do so. Live and learn.
Additional note: The whole story is just an emotional rollercoaster, from depression and sadness, to anger, rage and more. I've seen how death of a loved one can affect people who loved them but never through murder in real life. This story shows that even the strongest of us wear masks to hide pain from the world and others, especially those we care about. And it made me realize I need to stop hiding so much of myself behind masks and live life, even if I just start out by opening up more online and not being afraid simply to talk to others. So thank you for this story.
Great Collaboration
Great expansion of your micro scenes. I can understand Hank's frustration, he 'knew' Kayda didn't do it and no one was looking for the killer. He just couldn't rap his mind around the fact that Jamie's killer wasn't all that important until after they had saved Kayda. Unfortunately Hank had important information about what was going on, he knew about the timeline of what Jamie was doing and the note 'from Kayda.'
It's unfortunate that Ayla and Hank left the gathering of the girls, both of them (under normal circumstances) would be vulnerable to being raped and other violent actions (Ayla's first few weeks are an example).
If year two or Gen 2 includes a Day of Remembrance, I hope the Cabal remembers Jamie.
I realize that Ayla was looking for a common denominator, but did he have to check the Divisors? :D
Hi Valentine, Thank you for
Hi Valentine, Thank you for your comment.
Ayla was checking with the Devisors because they would know what was going on in their tunnels, he was looking to see if they were aware of anywhere that had become 'dangerous' to go into, places people were trying to keep others out of suddenly. If a previously 'safe' route through the tunnels became 'unsafe' information like that would be passed around friend to friend amongst the divisors to keep each other out of trouble. That's the sort of information Ayla was after.
Booo
You missed it. Valentine was being punny...
** emphasis mine to clarify **
Devisor vs. Divisor
Devisor, someone in WU that makes things that shouldn't work.
Divisor, the denominator of a math problem.
Holy crap!
That was an amazing story! I felt every bit of Hank's anguish. Sadly I do know what it feels like to grieve like that; curling up with tears & snot and your throat so tight it hurts. You nailed it.
A world of hurt
On another note, Speakeasy is in for a world of hurt; he has managed to seriously (possibly fatally) piss off one of the shakers and movers of the planet. Ms Guzman will I think spare no expense in finding him and bringing either him to justice, or justice to him. Add in Ayla's resources and the psyco is toast.
Oh, he isn't toast. After
Oh, he isn't toast. After they find it, hand him over to Gothmog's loving care until he tells where Sara is. After that he will be begging to be put in the deepest, darkest hole they can find in ARC just to avoid Sara and her daddy dearest touching him again. And that is the least he deserves, no quick death, he deserves to suffer for what he has done.
Gabriella Guzman's wrath
Ms. Guzman's wrath won't be saved for Speakeasy alone. The prick of an Assistant State's Attorney is probably going to discover that you really, really don't mess with the rich and powerful. He'll rue the day he rubbed those pictures in everyone's face at the hearing. When she gets done, he probably couldn't be elected dog-catcher in Nome, Alaska!
Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein
Never anger a mother who has
Never anger a mother who has lost a child, their wrath is greater than any god of old, more fearsome than any biblical demon. Hervik didn't just poke a hornet's nest, he might as well have walked into a lair with 100 dragons and blasted an airhorn. And no, once the people in Nome, Alaska find out what he did using the pictures, he wouldn't even get a job as the village idiot. Even a village idiot would know better.
Summer 2007
The hunt for Speakeasy...
Ayla searches with money from the "comfort" of his basement room in LA.
Hank and the Grunts go out into the field to look for him.
Jade uses the J-Team.
Nikki uses her magic.
Kayda searches in the Spirit World.
Paige and Ringo seach Cyberspace.
Toni uses Ki.
Chou uses the Tao.
Ms. Hartford uses her Syndicate contacts.
Billie decides to blow up the planet just to be sure, then remembers that's where she keeps her stuff.
The Underdogs run around with Anna asking the squirrels.
The Spykids spy.
The Masterminds plot to steal what the Spykids find.
And Stronghold and Mega-Girl get yelled at for underage heroing.
First one to find him wins.
you forgot
the Good Old Boys getting hit with the extra lust essence while they are sans females in their clubhouse.
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.
GR8 Story
The story was Great! And having a Hank story was long overdue.
One point that was made in this story was that normal investigative procedure would have included a search of Jamie's computer and other stuff. Hopefully we will find out why this was not done in a later story.
Also we have not seen any investigation of Sara's disappearance, again I hope a future story handles this.
Thank you for a GR8 story.
Back burner
Yes, checking all of Jamie's actions in the days leading up to their death and the computer was a oversight on their part. Likely they were so focused on Kayla that they were missing leads there that they would have followed if they had more trusted manpower and time.
Unfortunately...
When the DA and MCO stepped in and tried to railroad an innocent person then all of the resources that would have been used to find Jamie's murderer were expended on removing the frame from Kayda. Then even when they did get a confession from one of the two people who did the crime they are in essence watching the wind blow across the Marianna trench so far as figuring out the real motivator in the whole mess!
Ayla summed it up best:
(to paraphrase) They have 24 hours to save an innocent girl. Would Hank rather they let the MCO get their hands on Kayda, or that they focus on her first. Jamie is dead, he's going to stay dead. Investigation there can wait.
Where would YOU put your resources if you were Whateley admin?
Exactly. If the girl is innocent, you have to protect the living first. Then you have the luxury of time to investigate the murder.
Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein
Whately has security, not police
Also, the makeup of Whateley's 'Security' hampers them, while they have Police powers on campus, they are run for security, i.e. It is ex-military, not ex-police, that they tend to hire to staff security. They don't have a lot of skills in investigation, so with most of their skilled investigators high-jacked by the DA to 'find proof' of Kayda's guilt, and the help the school hired dedicated to proving Kayda innocent, they are basically out of resources to also do a proper investigation concentrating on Jamie at the same time ... and then basically they got lucky, the culprit feel right into their laps and confessed, so they never did do the proper investigation.
Great backstory
This was a great backstory to the events that were happening to others in the story. It was moving seeing how those closest to Jamie were affected by the murder and the way it was handled. The very emotional and moving addition to what I will not say is the main story as what happened here is just has meaningful. I would say that it along with the other works to make each a much better story.
The best part of this, aside
The best part of this, aside from finally having a Hank POV, was that it filled in a few holes that we left out of the Kayda POV and that was the scenes with Ms Guzman. I believe I expressed disappointed when the Kayda story came out that we didn't get any grief or outrage from Ms. Guzman. This story covers it and in a way that the Kayda POV never could. So kudos for that.
I liked the Kimba team characterizations. Jade animating Hank's stuff and sending it off while she stayed behind at the door was classic Jade.
It would be interesting if Trin and McIntyre somehow are the ones who first spot Darren leading to his arrest or to Ayla bring Darren to the attention of Gothmog in some future story.
There were many points in the story where I choked up but only a few that required the tissues for me. I was surprised by how hard Angel outside Hank's door hit me. That scene was great.
I was kind of expecting Hank to open up to all of Kimba about his Box of Hannah's Things. That and I was expecting a 80s movie like The Breakfast Club. Forgot how old Hannah was. But opening up to Lily was just as satisfying.
"I miss Dad hugs." That was nearly painful.
Now you understand
Hopefully, you understand WHY, when I read Phoenix's micro-scenes, I saw the potential for really adding to the emotion of Jamie's death. He was treating things that I couldn't, and doing it well. So I took a chance with the cabal, and when they agreed to let me sponsor the story, it was off to the races. Phoenix outlined almost all of the story, including the very realistic, raw emotions; I just added some suggestions, edited, roped him in a couple of times (he has a very good imagination!), and helped shepherd the story through the approval process. I've been dying to telling everyone who and what the new story was about and by.
It lists me as co-author because I helped, but the story is almost all Phoenix's, so give him the credit and accolades. I just had the fun experience of adding a little polish and getting it made canon. Congrats, Phoenix - it's a helluva story.
Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein
Why is Hank embarrassed about
Why is Hank embarrassed about The Princess Bride? It's one of the great fantasy movies out there. It has something for everyone.
Compartmentalisation. All the
Compartmentalisation. All the DVDs belonged to Hannah, therefore all the DVDs are 'girly' and not 'Hank' items.
Here is a micro scene that was up on the forums (before the hack) to explain it better.
Sitting on her bed Hannah looked around the room carefully. By the door were the garbage bags, waiting to be drop off at the charity bins, filled with remnants of her discarded life. Dresses, skirts, blouses, toys, even panties and makeup, all ruthlessly thrown away to remove the 'girl', leaving behind only the 'boy'. The only clothes Hannah didn't throw away where the boots, socks and pants of her battle dress, not even her shirts had been kept, thrown away with their patches and commendations to 'Hannah'. New ones, with patches for 'Hank', had been delivered by her mother last night.
Ruthlessly, but with a gentleness at odds with her bleak expression, Hannah stood and gathered up Teddy, Princess and Tanya from the shelf where they had presided over her room since she was eight. Coming back to the bed she sat next to the box. Tenderly Hannah added the teddybear and her two barbie dolls to the stack of DVDs and books already carefully packed in to the box.
Tears in her eyes Hannah closed the lid. Crying freely she took masking tape and sealed the box tight. Standing she carried it across the room to the closet, and opening the door carefully slide the box onto the top shelf. Standing, leaning with her head resting on her crossed arms against the closet door she wept away all her dreams and desires, mercilessly erasing 'Hannah' from from her future.
Standing tall, Hank sniffed a few more times, then strode to the cleaned off dressing table, still in pride of place against the wall of the room. He pulled some tissues from the tissue box, the only thing disturbing the pristine emptiness of the cleaned off dressing table. Blowing his nose he leaned forward to stare into the mirror, absently folding the used tissues and throwing them into the bin below the table. Hank reached over and snatched a few more tissues from the box, savagely drying his eyes. Staring directly into the mirror Hank attempted to perfect his emotionless facade. Satisfied eventually he threw away the tearstained tissues, and turned his back on the dressing table.
Stiff backed Hank all but marched to his bed. Hank bent down and picked up the army duffle bag left there, slinging the strap over his shoulder he stood. After a final glassy glare around the room Hank strode out of the door, attempting to erase 'Hannah' from his mind, determined to 'embrace' his new life as his mother wanted him to. To succeed in his studies, excel at JROC. Make his father proud.
Dammit, you're doing it again!
See, people? He's got a great imagination and feel for Hank's situation. He's going to end up doing it again if he doesn't stop this!
Imagination is more important than knowledge
A. Einstein
Lol Elrod,
Lol Elrod,
I had to have a 'head space' back story for Hank thought up or I could never have written the story I wrote. The fact I wrote some micro scenes to remember the story is just a bonus for when the new forums open ...
... unless that is you don't want me to share them?
:p
I remember reading this.
Hannah would have had to have been a BIG girl, if Hank kept her boots, socks and pants. Hank is 5'6" and 140 lbs.
My point was that while The Princess Bride is considered a "girly" movie, it is also considered a kids movie, a comedy, an action-adventure, fantasy, etc. So Hank having it in his "public" DVD collection wouldn't be bad, although Toni would probably tease him, of course Toni would tease for having the manliest movie ever made in his collection too.
BTW if I haven't said it before, it is a great tale.
Hank currently is many months
Hank currently is many months seperate to 'Hannah', but when this scene is set that isn't the case. This scene is set right on the tipping point, that time when 'Hannah' stops being Hannah, a girl, and starts thinking of himself as 'Hank', a guy. At that point the only difference is attitude, a change of mindset doesn't suddenly stop you fitting into clothes.
Also again, it's a mindset thing. 'The Princess Bride' is a highly emotional favourite possession of Hannah. Hannah was a girl, therefore the Princess Bride is for girls, therefore to Hank it needs to be put away with all the other girl things. Hannah / Hank isn't concerned with how others view the movie, only how the movie fits into her / his black and white division of the world into girl stuff bad, boy stuff good.
Actually, that's not even right, it's more Hannah stuff bad, Hank stuff good, so you see the intrinsic value of The Princess Bride is meaningless, it's only the emotional value to Hannah that matters. This is about boxing up and suppressing 'Hannah' and becoming 'Hank', not about a movie.
Hank's change
I was always under the impression, that like Ayla, Hannah changing to Hank was a rapid change, a few days at most. His powers were at full strength, or nearly so when he fought with the soldiers
Hank doesn't actually have
Hank doesn't actually have an origin story. There is some hints and comments in other stories, but not actually an official story.
My reading is that while Hank's powers are mostly settled, the body is transforming much slower, there is comments in one story about Hank "filling out" and becoming more "buff", implying that originally that wasn't terms that could be applied to Hank.
Anyway, that's just my interpretation, I have no more insights to it then anyone else.
To see a POV from Hank was
To see a POV from Hank was very interesting and made a lot of sense of things I assumed. Excellent story, I can't say it was the tear jerker some were saying or if I just controlled my emotions throughout but it was very well done.
I'm stunned...
By how well written this story was. Having lost people near and dear to me, I really was choked up throughout the entire thing. I have lost those I cared about in war, from old age, sickness and to violence. In each situation, I was able to do the one thing that Hank, and Ms. Guzman had taken from them... A moment to say goodbye. Though they still might be able to, if allowed by Lakota burial traditions. Unless Ms. Guzman plans on Aztec rituals since she was Jamie's guardian.
Which might give Hank a chance to try and track down the coward that had Jamie killed, and go all vendetta on his person. Assuming he would be allowed to attend any burial rites off campus.
_________________________________________________________________
"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes." -Shakespeare
I made an error reading this story...
...at work. It looks a bit odd to be sniffing and teary-eyed for no apparent reason.
Superb work, both of you - I look forward to more of your workm separately and together! Thanks.
I was finally in the right
I was finally in the right mindset to read this story, and it was extremely well done, just as I expected.
The bit about missing Dads hugs, and the picture of Jamie and Ms. Guzman those actually hurt.
Superb story. Can we possibly get Phoenix in as Hanks full time writer?
Thank you for your kind words
I want to thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement, it means a lot to know that our story touched you.
With the opening up to our community of our new Whateley site, those who wish I invite you to please take the time to visit.
To Sleep, Perchance to dream's page on our site
Discussion topic for speculation and discussion of "To sleep, perchance to dream"
Hank (Lancer) discussion topic