It was almost impossible to think.

I could feel something touching me. My skin twitched and my body recoiled as the filthy thing that I couldn't see explored my body, getting under my skin, leaving a layer of filth everywhere it touched. The chanting was beating against my brain, numbing my senses, yet forcing me to notice everything that was happening around me. I tasted the blood of the cultists who flayed their skin catching the blood into a cup of bone and forced it into my mouth. The bloody symbols on my face grew hotter, it felt like they were burning through my skin, I could actually see the symbols clearly in my mind. They cut me every few minutes, or hours, or seconds, I couldn't tell anymore, a small cut felt like they had peeled the skin off my body.

My screams had stopped long ago, I didn't have any energy left in me. But even as I begged for it, unconsciousness didn't come.

As the thing touching me moved further under my skin, making itself comfortable in my body, one thought kept me sane. My parents were coming.

**

Prairie Sun ran from one building to the next, drones were exploring more closely, but they were slower than she was. She had terrified workers and homeless in the poor block of run down buildings, by breaking doors down running, demanding to know if they saw anything and if she didn't believe them searching the building at a run. A very small voice at the back of her head told her that their was going to be hell to pay, the rest of her mind shouted it down. She was going to save her daughter or die trying.

Super Bear came on the radio. “Sun, she's in the basement of the apartment at the end of the street. I don't know about traps, guards or anything else, but get their fast.”

“How's Estelle?” she asked, jumping out a window to the street below.

The pause was short, but long enough for her to get to the apartment. “She's in the basement, they're doing something to her. We'll be there in a minute.”

The front door shattered under her impact. Two men watching for trespassers weren't given a chance to scream or fight, grabbing them at a run their necks snapped back from whiplash. To turn the tight corner, she slammed them into the wall, softening her own impact as she turned direction. Jumping down the stairs, she didn't look back to see if the two men were dead or just unconscious.

Practically ripping the railing out of the wall, her feet briefly touched the ground to change direction and then she was wall running down the next flight of stairs. She was still doing an impressive 60kph in the basement. Stopping very briefly, she listened for the cultists, pulling out a baton made of pure iron and blessed by a priest.

Sun heard chanting from down the hall. Sprinting down the hall, she peered around the corner. There was a shout, and a single guard raised his gun. She threw a blunt dart, striking and breaking his shoulder, she followed it up by snapping the baton off his skull as she ran past.

The chanting continued.

Entering the room she almost came to a stop in horror.

Estelle was hanging by her wrists covered in blood, looking dead except for the tears running down her cheeks. A thing of blackness dripping blood cloaked most of her body. Her daughters' skin bulged and writhed like a living thing where the demon touched her. The chanters didn't stop, they didn't even look in her direction.

Taking a grenade from her belt, she threw it at the woman who seemed to be leading the ritual. It exploded, bathing the room in light and deafening even Sun who was wearing earplugs. Iron dust filled the air, making the demon scream, shaking the building with its' anger.

Grabbing the nearest cultist who was struggling to keep chanting as she tried to get on her feet, blinking hard and her ears bleeding, Prairie Sun threw her at the demon. There was sickening slurping sound and the cultist was drawn into the gaseous mass. More blood fell from the cloud coating the floor.

Running at the thing, she hit it with the baton. It seemed to pass harmlessly through the demon, but it reacted as if it had been burned, placing Estelle between it and her. A tendril of darkness touched her foot. Sun jumped back, feeling her strength being drawn out by the simple contact. Dodging several more tendrils, she couldn't go too fast and risk her momentum sending her straight into the demon, but she couldn't go slowly either. She ran around the room, hitting the demon, breaking cultists, and trying to avoid getting hit all at the same time.

The last of the chanting died with a kick to the head, the demon roared, making the hair on Sun's body stand on end. Dust and debris fell from the ceiling, and Estelle screeched like a damned soul.

The demon began separating from Estelle, reaching out to absorb the fallen cultists, leaving bloody puddles behind. The darkness coalesced, becoming firmer, more humanlike, its' fingers were as long as its' arms, waving in the air, snapping at Prairie Sun from halfway across the room.

Sun threw another iron grenade at the demons feet. The thing flinched and howled as the iron dust coated it's legs, the smell of burning metal permeated the air, along with the sound of sizzling fat. She ran between the flailing tentacles, tearing one of the chains holding Estelle out of the ceiling.

A long thin finger of utter darkness, jabbed her in the back. Teeth tore away the Kevra armour, and a sharp spiked tongue pierced her skin.

Screaming as loudly as the demon, Sun twisted around bringing the baton down as hard as she could, bludgeoning the demons tentacle. Using her last grenade, she ran at the demon, feeling her skin and some muscle stretch and rip away from her body, and threw the weapon straight into its' mouth. A dozen tentacles wrapped themselves around her, biting her, trying to crush her, when the explosion ripped off its head.

The demon fell, releasing her, but even as it was falling, the dark cloud was reforming, sloughing off the parts contaminated by iron.

Sun didn't hesitate, grabbing Estelle, she tore the last three chains off, and ran for the door, diving between the tentacles that tried to stop her.

“Sun, we're at the apartment, where are you?” Fly By called.

The wall behind her was shredded by the demon, who was running almost as fast as she was. Jumping up the stairs, she said. “Got Estelle. Demon is following me.” There wasn't time to say anything else, she was outside, and looking at Super Bears SUV.

The demon was right on her tail. With a relatively clear street ahead of her, Sun went all out, hitting 200kph. The demon took to the air, creating wings and a long snake body. She heard the SUV start up, and the blast of plasma and missiles. Her back was peppered with bits of shrapnel, but the demon took the brunt of it.

Risking a look, the demon was actually starting to overtake her. People on the street screamed and ran from the flying monstrosity. Fly By was leaning out the SUV window, shooting not only his TK bolts, but a laser gun as well. The demon didn't bother trying to avoid the hits, even though its' flesh was burning from the laser.

Sun felt her muscles tightening. After being shot the day before, fighting that afternoon, barely sleeping from worry, and getting bitten by the demon, she was starting to flag. Looking at her daughter, she bit her tongue to ignore the growing muscle cramps and kept going.

**

I came to in Mom's arms. I knew it was her from how she felt. The wind was bitterly cold and when I turned my head to look where we were going, the wind made it hard to breathe. I heard explosions and screams all around us. “Mom,” I whispered.

“Stay calm,” Mom gasped. “Going to get you somewhere safe.”

Looking behind us, a whimper escaped as I saw the demon. I could feel its anger and rage. It was hurt by the little insects, and was being kept from its prize. My whimpers became sobs as I realized it's prize was me.

The part of my mind that had stayed calm during the waiting for the ritual, was at work again as we kept running for several minutes, avoiding the busier streets with the demon flying overhead swooping down occasionally if it looked like we were about to enter a building or find cover.

“I need a charge,” I said.

“Not now,” Mom said through gritted teeth.

“I have to charge up!”

“I know you're tired, but we're running for our lives here,” Mom told me.

We had to stop talking as Mom jumped over a car that was coming straight at us, the driver staring dumbly at the sky. As we were airborne the demon dived, it's shriek shattering the windows near us. A plasma cannon fired a burst into the demons side, knocking it into the side of a building. I felt the still wet blood on me dry and crack from the heat of the plasma that almost washed over us.

Mom broke a street sign in half as we turned down a side street. With some of the momentum bled off, we headed down an alley, and tried to put some distance between us and it. I knew it was useless. I could tell exactly where the demon was and it could do the same to me.

“Mom! Listen!” I shouted at her. “The demon that attacked me, I hurt it. I don't know how, but I really hurt it. If I have a big enough charge, I could do the same to this one.”

The demon appeared overhead. Mom looked up at it and then back at me. The wounds on her body still hadn't healed over, and she was slowing down. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” I actually wasn't, but there wasn't much choice in the matter.

Mom obviously agreed. “Super Bear, get your ass up here,” she said into the radio. “We need to charge Target up, and keep her charged.”

I couldn't hear what Uncle Herb said, but there was a roar of an engine and the SUV came up beside us, still peppering the sky with lasers, plasma and TK. Mom tossed me through the back passenger side window. Without me burdening her, she scrambled up the side of a building, drew a gun and started shooting while still running.

Dad didn't have time to look at me, the demon was flying straight at us. He flew out the window grabbed the roll bar, and I heard him start shooting from the roof of the SUV. Uncle Herb growled something that sounded bad, hit a few buttons and turned around in his seat. “How much of a charge do you need?” he asked as the vehicle began driving and shooting itself.

“As much as you can,” I told him.

He grabbed some gadget from under the back seat that looked like a waffle iron on steroids. Stripping the cable connected to it, he cursed as sparks burned his hand. With the tools he kept under the drivers seat, and cannibalizing some gadgets and devises, he handed me something that looked like a pistol grip just two minutes after I got into the car. “Pull the trigger and you'll get as much power as we can spare.”

I squeezed it as hard as I could and felt instantly energized. The plasma gun stopped working. “Oh crap!” Uncle Herb said.

The demon saw it's chance. Dad took to the air shooting rapidly for all the good it did. The SUV rocked to the side, scraping against a brick wall and battering it's way through a few signs and a news paper stand. A claw came through the window catching my wrist, my hand felt like it was being absorbed, darkness crawled up my arm.

Taking the rapidly building charge, I let the electricity run straight through me, adding in my own power, amplifying it and releasing it straight into the demons body. The thing jerked and spasmed, actually lifting the SUV a few times and dropping it. I didn't stop, blasting it with everything I had. Whatever was connecting us, it seemed to make it impossible for the demon to let me go.

Darkness started flaking off of it. It's arm became skinnier, less substantial. The shooting from Mom and Dad started hitting the roof of the SUV instead of the demon. I began to feel a little spot of hope.

Then the demon drove it's foot through the hood, cutting off my supply of power and stopping us in our tracks.

The darkness reached my shoulder. My arm suddenly felt like it was on fire, and it was heading for my heart. I screamed. I could see my skin moving like worms were underneath, chewing their way through my flesh, absorbing me into the thing. My mind went blank, I knew what was happening, but there was nothing I could do, my screams turned to shrieks.

Uncle Herb ripped his door off, using it like a club to pummel the demon, ignoring the tentacles and claws that dashed themselves against his PFG. Mom jumped off of a building, landing on top of the demon, plunging her baton into its back like a sword. Dad came down right in front of me, actually straddling mine and the demons arm, took one look at my face which I could feel pulsing and moving as the demon worked its way into me. He took a grenade out of his pocket, pulled the pin and held it in place right around my hand.

The grenade exploded, my body and face was protected by Dad, my hand wasn't. The demon, Dad and I screeched in unison. My arm was completely numb, and I think I blacked out for a few seconds because I came to in Dads arms flying through the sky. Looking at my hand all I could see was black blood gushing out of me.

With the demon following us, more slowly, losing bits of itself with every second, and Mom running along the street still shooting, Dad seemed to know where he was going. Then I saw where we were heading, St. Joseph's Basilica, one of the largest churches in Edmonton. Dad couldn't seem to control his flying very well, and at the very last second, he rolled onto his back, still flying forward, and cradled me as we flew through a stain glass window. He couldn't stop in time and we crashed through the pews, before coming to a stop against the platform at the front of the church.

A priest was there, reading loudly from the bible. A part of me recoiled from the words, they didn't really hurt, but hearing them was like nails on a chalkboard. Pain blossomed in my arm, even worse then when the demon was absorbing me. The demon followed, much smaller, but actually looking more lethal now.

The priest faltered, and Dad tried to get to his feet only to fall, screaming as the stump of his hand touched the ground. The demon came at us, it's gangling shoulders hunched down, the claws scraping and scoring the floor, leaving trails of thick, greenish black smoke.

It reached for me, and I couldn't move, so paralyzed with pain and fear.

The church door was ripped off it's hinges. The demon saw Mom in her blood drenched uniform, bitten, bruised, and exhausted. It rushed at me, but Mom was faster, bull rushing it. The two went past me, towards the alter. Mom sprang onto the alter itself, and jumped still holding the demon that was shredding her back, straight at the large crucifix that watched over the church.

The demon was pressed against the holy symbol, it's scream made the stone building tremble. Mom grabbed the crucifix, and tore it from the wall, keeping it pressed against the demon as they fell to the ground. She managed to roll clear, but the demon was pinned to the floor.

The priest began to pray with a firmer voice, as he did the demon turned to vapour, still connected to the crucifix, finally the vapour itself disappeared.

Mom came over to me, swaying weakly. Blood was dripping from her back, ignoring that she grabbed me, her eyes glassy. Taking my hand, she burst out crying, ripping apart her suit, she elevated my arm, and wrapped the bloody rag around my hand. Looking at it, I suddenly realized I was missing some fingers, red blood was leaking from the wounds now, the black ichor had vanished. The pain suddenly became even more agonizing.

There were sirens in the distance.

The priest came over, still praying. The strange feeling of unpleasantness I was feeling, receded, but didn't go away completely. As I sobbed and whimpered in pain, Mom eased me down, still holding my arm up. I saw her doing the same to Dad who was lying beside me.

Unable to keep my eyes open, I fell unconscious.

**

Late that night, I came to in a hospital bed. I was still exhausted, and wondered why I had woken up. Then I felt something on my chest.

Jerking up, hissing as I put weight on my bandaged hand, I saw a dark red cat looking at me. It licked my nose, and curled up beside my face, purring away.

Staring at the thing, I suddenly realized that it felt right that it should be there. Lying back down, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

**

Mom was beside me when I woke up. She was wearing a track suit, and sat very carefully so her back wasn't touching the chair. Her face was lightly bruised, since it was sunny out, I had to have been asleep for at least all night, if Mom was still bruised, her face had to have been almost broken from the fight with the demon.

“Morning Estelle,” Mom said, reaching down she pulled my stuffed dog out of a bag, kissed it and pressed it against my cheek.

“Thanks for saving me,” I whispered, my throat felt raw. Rolling over, I reached out with my left hand to take a drink of water. Stopping, I saw that my hand was swathed in bandages. “How bad?”

“You lost all your fingers on that hand. They're thinking they'll have to amputate part of your hand as well if it doesn't heal properly or you'll suffer chronic pain.” One thing I can say about Mom, she doesn't sugar coat things. But she wrapped the blankets around me extra tight and gave me a hug.

“And Dad?” I asked, my fuzzy memory called up an image of him screaming at a bloody stump where his hand should have been.

The hug got tighter. “He lost all of his right hand. The bones were so splintered they didn't even try to save it.”

I started sniffling. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get caught.”

“Estelle! Don't you dare apologize for this,” she scolded me. “Your father and I knew exactly what we were risking when we came for you, and quite frankly we got off easy. Mo Shu Shi came from Vancouver last night, he says we faced a very tiny fraction of the actual demon. If you hadn't hit it like you had it would have been able to stay materialized on earth for at least a few more hours and it WOULD have killed us and everyone nearby.”

“But if I hadn't been captured, if I hadn't been in that damn ceremony, none of this would have happened.”

“Honey, listen to me,” Mom said, using my dog to make me look her in the eyes. “If you hadn't been there in Vancouver, that demon would have materialized forever at full power. You saved millions of people. You fought the demon that captured you, which is better than a lot of people could have done. And you kept your head, helping fight a demon that wanted to use you as it's bond on earth. I have never been more proud of you than I am right now. We all got hurt, but it's a price your father and I accepted as part of doing business. The ONLY thing you need to worry about is getting healthy again. And on that note, we can charge you up,” Mom said handing me my tazer.

While I was happy to charge up, I didn't believe what she said about the demon. There had to have been something I could have done, but I nodded rather than argue about it. “Where's the cat?”

“What cat?” Mom asked, looking around and clearly surprised at the change of topic.

“There was a cat sleeping with me last night, a dark red one. I felt... I felt like it belonged there.”

“There aren't any cats in the hospital, dear. You must have been dreaming.”

Shaking my head, I could picture the animal perfectly in my mind. “No he's real. He's right over there,” I said pointing at a comfortable guest chair.

“There's nothing th-”

The red cat suddenly appeared as if by magic. It yawned and blinked at us with big brown eyes so dark they were almost black. Seeing our startled expressions, it stuck its' tongue out at us, jumped off the chair and came over to sit by my head. In the daylight, the colour looked uncomfortably similar to dried blood.

Mom pulled out a phone and hit a button. “Mo, come to Estelle's room now. We have something you need to see.”

Petting the strange cat, my fears and sadness seemed to fade away. The gibbering terror, guilt, sadness, and disgust that had been threatening to overwhelm me were still there, but behind a glass wall, making them easier to deal with. I wondered what to call him. There wasn't any doubt that it was mine and he was helping me, that knowledge didn't strike me as strange either. It was like knowing that the sky was blue, a simple fact of life. “Hello Beetle,” I said to the cat not knowing where the name came from but knowing it was right.

The cat bobbed its head, licking my nose like it had last night.

“Beetle?” Mom asked.

“That's his name.”

The Chinese-Canadian wizard from Vancouver came in, as usual his face looked different from the last time I saw him, but his robes were hard to forget. “Estelle, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was blown up a few times,” I joked.

“Mo, can you look at this cat?” Mom asked. “It was invisible until a few minutes ago and Estelle says it's hers.”

The wizards eyes misted over for a few moments. “It's her familiar,” he said, frowning. “She's not a wizard is she?”

“She wasn't when we got her MID.”

He looked at me more closely, his eyes once more becoming cloudy. “Sun can you please give us some time alone, I need to try a few things. Fly By is awake now, he's asking for you.”

Mom gave me a proxy kiss with the dog, and gave him to me, before leaving. Hugging my toy dog and my new cat, I wondered what was going on now.

Mo pulled out some candles from his robes, where he held them I didn't know. Lighting them he had me concentrate on the flames, thinking about them in different ways, they flickered, changed colour, flared up and almost died down. I had no idea what any of it meant, but it was clearly important.

Then he pulled out some tea leaves, filling a wooden bowl he pulled out of his robes, he made it hoe with a wave of his hand threw the leaves in and had me drink it. Then he took a wooden disk with Chinese characters on it, and spent half an hour fiddling with it, spinning different parts changing the position of some symbols and removing or adding others. Finally he seemed satisfied and put it away. He didn't look happy though. “Estelle I'm going to speak to your mother, we'll explain everything soon. Stay here.”

“Ok,” I said, wondering where exactly I was suppose to go. I didn't like the way he looked at Beetle, almost as if he were afraid my cat would claw his face off.

I charged myself up again, since it would help me heal, even if I couldn't regrow fingers, and turned on the tv. The news was talking all about the demon attack yesterday, and once more my family was all over the news. Flipping to MuchMusic, I relaxed to some pop music, petting Beetle and enjoying his purring.

I'd dozed off again when Mom came rushing in and I woke up to an incredible feeling of fear.

“MOM! DON'T!” I screamed, before I'd even opened my eyes. My hands reached out unerringly for Beetle who was yowling at Mom who was holding him by the scruff of his neck.

“It's a demon,” Mom said, trying to grab my cats head so she could snap it's neck as I held onto her hand sending my charge into my muscles so that I could actually have a small chance of slowing her down.

The fear turned to pain. “OW! Mom, it hurts! Stop!” I shouted.

Mo came running in and threw himself on Mom. “Evelyn DON'T! You'll hurt Estelle!”

With me practically throwing myself over her arm, and Mo on her back, both of us yelling at her loudly enough to have half the hospital coming in to see what was going on, Mom eased up and merely held Beetle firmly rather than trying to crush him.

“Explain,” she said to Mo Shu Shi.

“A familiar is attracted to the essence of a wizard, or sometimes their soul, or even their personality, it can get a little confusing at times. When the magical creature finds the person that it's attracted to, it forms a link between the well of essence within the person and it's own soul. They are symbiotic, helping each other, gaining power from each other. Usually the familiar is a fae creature, at least the ones that people admit to having, but demons have been known to do it as well. The smarter ones what we'd call imps are tricky and must be watched carefully because they will try to hurt their wizard.”

Mom tightened her grip on Beetle.

Mo put his hand on Moms'. “But this isn't an imp. I'll need to examine it more carefully in a purified place, but I swear to you that killing that animal right now will do great harm to Estelle for no real purpose. If I'm right, this creature is one of the lowest orders of demons, it needs Estelle to survive and grow. It will not harm her knowingly.”

“So what will it do?”

“It will help her, letting her cast spells through it, adding it's power to hers, it can spot enemies often even if they're invisible to normal means. It has some intelligence and can warn her if she's doing something wrong, and use it's own initiative to help her,” Mo explained quickly.

“How will it help her?” Mom asked.

“That's where it gets complicated,” Mo said warily. “With fairy type familiars, the cute ones you hear about when wizards want to make themselves sound harmless and beneficial, will help with work, maybe playing relatively harmless pranks on friends and foes alike, offering a shoulder to cry on. Others are more martial oriented, turning into larger versions of their type, to stop, maim or even kill threats, depending largely on their wizards personality.”

“And with demons?”

“If they're able to, they'll go for the throat immediately, some have been known to kill rivals when it's not a life or death situation and even when the wizard doesn't want them to.” He raised his hands when he saw Mom's expression. “But this one doesn't look like that. You're actively threatening it's life, and the best it can do is claw at you, it is just a fairly strong, and very smart house cat. You said it was invisible when Estelle pointed it out to you. It's a thief and a spy. Estelle is going to have to be careful to keep it firmly under control, or it will likely steal anything it thinks she needs or wants, but it is controllable.”

I touched Mom's arm, crying a little. “Please don't hurt Beetle. I'm not screaming right now because of him.”

“What?” Mom and Mo Shu Shi asked.

“I can feel being scared, sad, hurt and lots of other things, but it's at the back of my head. He's doing it. If he wasn't, it would be all I could think about,” I whispered, shaking at the thought of feeling all of that at full force, I didn't know if I could survive that.

She looked at my new cat, without quite as much disgust. “Can we safely get rid of it, after Estelle recovers?”

“Not really. With the proper rituals, we can make it go away with limited risk, but it could damage her well of essence, scar her soul, and if done poorly hurt her physically. If she can't control it, I can talk to some people about removing it, but I do not believe it's worth the risk. And if Estelle is telling the truth, it may be the only reason she's still sane.”

That didn't make Mom very happy. “It can understand me?”

“Yes, as long as you don't make things too complicated,” he said.

Holding Beetle up to look him in the eyes, Mom glared at it. “Beetle, if you hurt my daughter in any way, I will kill you very, very slowly. Do you understand?”

Beetle meowed once, and gave a very human-like nod, his tail curling up between his legs.

Putting my familiar down, Mom took a seat, clearly tired. “So Mo, why didn't we know Estelle was a wizard?”

“I think, and this is an educated guess at best,” Mo cautioned, “that when she was trapped in the ritual in Vancouver, she did suffer a minor burnout and with that powerful magic running through her, she gained a wizard trait. Not much at best a level 1 or 2, but it was there. She's slowly been gaining essence, and with the proper training could have sparked her essence, which means being able to gather and control essence better than a baseline. The ritual yesterday pushed her over the edge, sparking her, and giving her a familiar, probably a demon who felt the ritual, sensed a new wizard who hadn't been claimed by a familiar and hitched a ride.

“That could also explain why she was able to hurt the demon with her powers. Most demons would shrug off her attack as a mere annoyance, or a painful but not very damaging attack, like the plasma and laser blasts. The ritual in Vancouver probably, somehow attuned her powers to be a touch magical, just enough to hurt creatures on that same... frequency for lack of a better word. If the MCO had had an actual wizard or better sensors for the magical, they would have been able to detect it during the power testing.”

Now that I wasn't afraid of my new best friend dying, I was perking up. “So I can really cast spells and things?” I asked.

“With training yes. But it's not that easy,” Mo said.

I hadn't really thought about doing magic, but I was interested in it. And unlike my main power, magic could be useful for lots of things. I grinned like an idiot.

“And the best place to get training is at Whateley,” Mom said with a grimace. “But we don't want her to go to Whateley until next term so no one knows she used to be a girl. And if we send her away suddenly it will look bad to the press after we made so much noise about how mutants can go to a regular school with proper training.”

“With Fly By injured, I'm willing to stay in town at least until he's healed to help out, I can train Estelle on the weekend and maybe during the week,” Mo offered.

Mom started to lean back in her chair only to wince when her back touched it, sitting ramrod straight she considered me for a few minutes. “Estelle, it's going to be difficult for the next few months, the media, your friends, your teachers, they're going to act differently around you now that you're not only a mutant, but that they've seen you on tv being attacked. I think Whateley would be better for you, but I promised you could stay the term, so it's your decision. Do you stay here and weather the storm, or go to Whateley?”

That was easy. “I want to stay.”

She sighed. “I was afraid you'd say that. Ok, Mo, you have a new student. I'll send you a few short term rentals to look over this week, pick the one you like best and we'll cover everything.”

They left me alone to get some rest, promising to let me see Dad once he was up to having visitors. With Beetle purring on my chest, happy now that the scary woman was gone, I quickly fell back to sleep dreaming of casting spells and doing cool things like flying on a bike. Yes a bike, riding on a broomstick sounded painful and a good way to get a wedgie.

**

Some of the older girls at Everest were on prozac, and I knew quite a few girls who said their mothers practically lived on the stuff, but for feeling good nothing beats morphine.

The next morning when I got up, they had lowered the dosage of painkiller I was getting, and not only did I feel like crap, the good feelings I had at getting what could best be called a new best friend and learning I could do magic crumbled, even with Beetle helping. No crumbled is too small of a word, it was atomized leaving nothing but a wasteland of depression and guilt behind.

I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own, and looked at myself in the mirror. And then I burst into tears.

My face wasn't too bad, I stretch marks and saggy skin on the left side of my chin, cheek and neck from where the demon had pushed itself up towards my brain. My arms were mostly healed thanks to my charged up healing factor, but something about the cuts seemed to make them slower to heal and I had big ugly scabs on my once smooth skin. But that wasn't the worst. They could be covered up by makeup and long sleeve shirts. And since I was an exemplar as my changes progressed they'd go away. The worst was my hand.

I couldn't see anything under the swath of bandages, but the way it cut off halfway made me look lopsided. I could still feel my fingers, they were itchy, and no matter how much I tried to ignore them or scratch the stump it wouldn't go away.

One thing I liked so much about being a girl, even if it sounded vapid and bubble headed, was being pretty, and my last few months of girldom was going to have me being the scarred freak with the mutilated hand.

And Dad had it even worse. I hadn't seen him yet, but he'd lost all of his dominate hand. How was he going to do anything? Would he still be able to type, fight crime, cook with me in the kitchen? Hell could I cook anymore without my fingers?

And it was all because of me. If I'd fought harder, done more, fuck if I'd died before they came to rescue me, Dad would be in one piece. But I'd ruined everything. It was my fault they'd been exposed, ripping their lives to pieces, I'd made it so Dad was mutilated, Mom was injured, and soon I'd turn into a boy and everyone would know, so they'd know I was a real freak and Mom and Dad would be humiliated by that to. Crawling back into bed, I pulled the blanket over my head and found I didn't even have the strength to cry. I was almost on the verge of looking for razor blades or stealing a bottle of pills from the pharmacy.

Beetle jumped on the bed, nosing his way under the blanket and curled up against my chest purring hard enough to shake the bed. Whatever type of bond we had, the little demon was sending as much love as it could straight into my heart. Hugging the cat, I lost some of the suicidal thoughts, but there was still no way I could face Dad.

A nurse came in to check my vitals, and Beetle vanished, I could feel him, but he was invisible and totally silent. The nurse checked my vitals, asked how I was feeling, did a few things like changing my IV, and left promising that breakfast would arrive soon.

I just shrugged and gave a grunt when she told me that, which was pretty much how I'd answered everything else. As the nurse went to leave, I felt and heard Beetle stealthily get out of bed and follow her.

Without my kitty letting me know I was loved, the depression quickly built up again.

Before it got back to the dangerous level earlier, Uncle Herb came through the door munching on a box of donuts, Beetle followed him in, tail held high. My uncle did not look to be in good shape, his pink fur was a mess of burnt patches, cuts and swollen bruises covered his body, and he moved with a limp.

“Hey Kitten. Your new pet found me and seemed pretty insistent that I ignore visiting hours and come see you. How are you doing?” he asked, sitting down carefully on the chair and reaching out to stroke my hair.

Getting up I sat on his lap, burying my face in his soft fur. “I got Dad hurt. If I... if I hadn't done anything this never would have happened. Everything is all my fault,” I cried.

“Hey now, none of that, Kitten. You didn't do any of this. You didn't ask for it, and you sure as hell didn't do anything to deserve it. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. None of this is your fault,” he insisted, wrapping his arms around me so only my head and legs could be seen.

“Dad lost his hand because of me! How can he forgive me!”

“I was there when he did it. When he saw you being taken over by that demon, he didn't hesitate. He could have dropped the iron grenade and let his suit take the brunt of it, but there was too great a chance it would roll off. He held it there, knowing exactly what was going to happen and he accepted it, because he loves you more than anything. Both your parents do. Your mom was half crazy when you were in danger, she broke a few dozen laws trying to find you and she doesn't have a single regret.” He nuzzled my hair. “We all care about you, and we'll kill anyone, and accept any consequences to keep you safe. Your Dad wants to see you in a little bit, to make sure you're ok, and to let you know he's ok to.”

“I'm not ok,” I whispered, not really meaning for him to hear me.

“I know. I'm sorry we couldn't do a better job of keeping you safe,” he said softly. “But like everything else, we're here for you through thick and thin. Don't ever forget that.”

He held me for a long time, not talking, just letting me know that I wasn't the horrible, disgusting person I thought I was.

**

“Hey Dad,” I said, when a nurse wheeled me into his room.

His bed was set so he was almost sitting. His right arm was under the blanket, so I didn't have to see the stump. Dad's face was pale, he must have lost a lot of blood before they got him to the hospital. “Hey yourself, Princess. Is your hospital food better than mine?”

I couldn't look him in the eye. “Probably not. They overcooked everything by at least five minutes.”

“Maybe we should get you into the kitchen to show them how it's done.”

“Like that's going to happen,” I said, wiping my nose with my good hand.

“Estelle, you can still cook, you're still beautiful, and you're still a wonderful person,” he told me.

I held up my mutilated hand, forgetting the speech I'd made up apologizing for everything. “This is going to make me so popular, and I'm sure I can do just about anything without my fingers.”

“Since when have you let a problem get the best of you? You can sulk about it, but I expected you to keep going and deal with it, not just roll over and die,” he said.

That hurt. “What am I suppose to do? I'm scarred! I'm mutilated! Everyone knows I'm a mutant! I got you and Mom hurt! And I... I killed people.”

Dad flew out of bed, wrapping me up in his blanket. “I know it's bad now, princess,” he said, holding me tightly. “But it's going to get better. You just need some time to rest. All of this has been so sudden, we all just need some time to think and find our balance again.”

“Why did they do it?” I sobbed. “Why did they make me kill them?”

He didn't answer me, I don't think he could. Like Uncle Herb, he just held me and let me cry, making sure I knew he was there for me. Mom came in a moment later, she must have been listening at the door, and she hugged me to. For a few minutes I could almost pretend we were a normal family.

**

That afternoon I met with a psychiatrist. For the first time I could let everything out, not holding anything back. It was strange telling things that were always kept a secret except with close friends. At first I hesitated, petting Beetle, as I tried to control my emotions, but after a few simple questions I couldn't shut up.

By the end of the session, I was so drained emotionally and physically, I just crawled into bed and collapsed.

With Beetle at my side, I didn't have any nightmares.