Author:
Blog About:
Well, I owe everybody an apology. I lied to you all. The picture on my profile is my best friend Jessica. A very supportive friend I might add. Im not a girl or transgendered for that matter. Im just gay. And I've struggled with this because my family is very conservative and I felt had I been a girl my life would be easier so I thought I was transgendered, I found this great community who accepted all of that without question so I created this person who wasnt me but who I wanted to be. I created this persona, a back story, a whole life. A life that was a lie. The truth is im a 19 year old boy named Ronald. Many of you may know this in some form, most of jessicas blogs are based off of my life and ive mentioned that being my name. But I feel that the good this site did for me and the problems just pretending to be jessica helped me are deserving of an apology to all of you. Youre amazing people, truly the nicest most supporting people ive ever had the pleasure of interacting with. The guilt of lying to everybody has weighed havily on my conscious and that why chii dissapeared from the site. I dont even remember the password or email associated with that account, so I made a new one to apologize to everybody and come back to thw site with a new name and no lies.
Comments
I shouldn't think
you're the first or will be the last, but thanks for coming clean in the end. I might also add you don't need to be transgendered to visit or post here.
Angharad
That's true
I was thinking that the whole time I was typing this, I know I'm not the only one, but I may be the only one who lied in such great detail. In some way it's my best story yet, lol.
I might have been gay
The same could be true of me, though I am post op so it is far to late to change anything. The thing that interfered is that having had a very painful past with men, I hated them, and sometimes vehemently. In retrospect, I wonder if all that anger was simply denial?
I was never attracted to a man at all until around 2008. Before my surgery, I was married and attracted to women.
Even our own brains lie to us, so how are we to find the truth? It doesn't make any difference, I'm celibate. No one wants a 68 year old woman.
Gwen
You are who you are.
As you said, this is a very open, inclusive site, and I count myself lucky to have found it. Many of us aren't comfortable sharing too much of our true real life selves, because there are people out there who would out you and "take you down" if they connected the dots.
People often present themselves as they would like to be. For many of us, it's a form of escapism that allows us to explore what it would be like "if only [fill in the blank here]". For others, their online self is someone they aspire and/or are working to become. Still, for others their online self is only a clue to your "real" self. You'll find that many of the authors here write under several names.
Be happy. Participate however you wish, as whoever you wish. Write something and post it here. Through this process, you can find out more about yourself.
Thank you for your post!
Hugs
Carla Ann
Once and again: GLBT.
It's all about the acronym. If you're Gay, love. Lesbian, love. Bi, love. Especially if you're Trans anywhere on the spectrum love. There's enough shit that has been heaped on our community as a whole by others that we need to have each others' backs.
One big reply to all your comments
This is why I felt so guilty, you guys are just amazing. I was expecting some so r of animosity towards what I did even though I know I'm not the only one.
What is a lie?
My birth certificate and my driver's license both say I'm male and neither document says my name is Patricia Marie Allen. Even my wife would testify to the fact that I'm male.
Yet here on this site and several others, my name is recorded as Patricia Marie Allen, gender female, OK I prefer feminine, because genetics back up the driver's license and birth certificate. Still I often represent myself in the feminine side of the chart. Is that a lie? I dare say that I'm not in the minority here on this site, so I doubt that anyone here would take exception to the way I represent myself.
Here on the on the internet, you can be whomever you want to be and represent yourself in any way that pleases you. You're sure not going to get any flack from the likes of me.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
The lie
Was telling people I was a 16 year old boy on theidle of transitioning, most of my blog posts where completely false stories taken from my life and spun into stories. The picture I used as my profile was not me, that was the real jessica Nicole Lxxxx, who has been by my side through everything, I was telling them my family was okay with my choices and whom I love, but they're not... all these things where the lies.
????
and what's wrong with being GAY , be proud and be yourself . Now post your picture so we can see the real you HUGS
I may not be LBGT
But in my opinion the people that are are often more understanding of things that make people different, and don't criticize differences.
I have lived in Conservative Texas my whole life I am surrounded by Tea Party idiots for ever. the Bigots drive me crazy they make everyone's life who does not think like they do a living hell. Diversity and difference is what makes this country great not conformity and stagnation. People should be praised for there differences not shunned. It makes it hard for people who are different to accept who they are and grow into a very complete individual. You have admitted who you are that is an important step. Now you have to find a way to live your life as you need to to be happy and productive. I have seen that almost everyone on this site is very accepting and will forgive your transgressions as you see them and move and try to learn who you really are so they can accept that person into the world.
"Cortana is watching you!"
Not all tea party members are
Not all tea party members are bigots... i myself am part of the teaparty, not supporting gay marriage and stuff like that has nothing to do with conservatism and wanting small government. Those bigotry ideals came from a small minority of people within the conservative group that are just screaming very very loudly. Most yeapertiers are really nice people that just want to mind their own business and have private lives that includes keeping the federal government out of the equation. The left wing media has done the same thing the bigots have and demonized the conservatives for the sins of a small group. But on the flip side i will defend liberals when people start talking shit about them. Germany is a perfect example of how a large liberal government can work, and they do things right. Our government on the other hand doesn't, they aren't learning by the examples of other governments they're just shooting from the hip and hoping it works out, and when it doesnt they don't go back and fix they're mistakes. I'm sorry this turned into a political rant. It's a bad habit
This is not about labels, but finding peace.
This is not about labels. This is about finding peace with yourself.
This site is intended as a
This site is intended as a medium for transgender fiction, no?
More seriously, almost all of us on this site have lied extensively about our identity at some point to get acceptance. You may have done so in a slightly more unusual fashion, but it is completely understandable.
A success for both BCTS and for you
Through reading and writing we grow by better understanding ourselves and those around us. Your post shows that you have grown and allowed BC readers to better understand you. Win, Win.
Rhona McCloud
Congratulations!
I'm so glad you're at a place you're more comfortable with now! I think many of us try on different identities before we finally find where we belong. I did the conservative family thing too (haven't been speaking with parents, brother, and assorted other family members since coming out about a year and a half ago) and it makes a difficult situation harder. At least you have one place where it's ok to be yourself. As far as I'm concerned no apology is necessary for trying to find a place that works for you even if it did end up involving a bit of fantasy. This site's all about transgender fiction anyway!
Truth or Consequences?
It may come as a shock to you, but I'd guesstimate that a good 90% of the avatars and illustrations are images found elsewhere on the web. This is a fiction and fantasy story website, why should all of us be restricted to telling the plain unvarnished truth. I do know a couple of people that have used actual pictures of themselves, makes no matter. A lot of people use art to display themselves and their writing, and why not? If the image reflects who they are or want to be, then why not use it?
The whole idea is this is a place where we can come and be ourselves, if only temporarily. A close friend and a former author here has commissioned probably a half dozen pieces of herself, but hasn't used a single one of them. Yet. I'm hoping to get her to use some of the art she has commissioned or collected over the years. Yes, there is a varying range of fantasy to reality in them, but they make her happy.
As for pen-names, that is as common here as it is on any other website catering to authors. If you make the assumption that the name you see used here is not that user's legal name you'll be right more often than wrong.
One thing: This is a pet peeve of mine, before you use some random piece of art you found online, please try to find the artist and request permission first. There are a number of ways to search for images n the web. I like TinEye, it was one of the first programs that could search images on the web.
I've a lot of friends that are artists, many of them are Damn Good Artists. Many spend hours and days drawing a single piece of art, and they are rightfully proud of what they do. Seeing their art being used without any credit being given is a slap in the face. And besides, their work may well be copyrighted, and if they have sold it to somebody there are all sorts of legal problems that can pop up.
Honestly, how would you feel if your story showed up on another website and you received no credit. It has happened to some authors here, and a number of artists on dA have had their work stolen and posted under the thief's name.
I know of one artist who had her work stolen on dA and posted under the thief's name. One thief (scum of the earth isn't strong enough a term, and Erin asks us to keep it clean) actually had the audacity to make a complaint to fb that the original artist was the thief stealing his art and got the artist's page shutdown. It took awhile and considerable back and forthing and offering up of posting data from dA before fb restored her account and shut down the thief's fb page.
So ask first if you can, and be prepared to pull some illustrations down if the author shows up later. (/soapbox off) Otherwise go for it. Post your stories using whatever name you want.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
You'll get no flack from me.
Everyone pretends about something. Welcome to the club and I'm glad you have finally faced up to who and what you are. Bravo!... or Brava! whichever.
I'm also glad you're gonna stick around and write more. Good news. Have a great day.
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Sounds to me......
....Like:
You were at least partially lying to your self or confused a bit.
""I felt had I been a girl my life would be easier so I thought I was transgendered,""
Maybe trying things on for size too. As for the rest, well..... I is not really necessary here. We are rather inclusive here.
I suspect quite few on the internet use false pictures, although a lot more simply substitute a cute icon(points at her cute little pixie icon), and just don't share everything. You don't need to do anything to fit in here accept not judge others for their position on the gender and sexuality scales, including those who are not sure. It is all valid.
If you feel like sharing fine, if not you don't have too. If you are not sure and are trying something on for size that is fine too, you might want to say so though, more for your own sake and more valid feedback. And remember it is a spectrum you do not have to be one or the other male/female, gay/straight, you just have to be you! But we all still need to wear masks now and then, you just don't really need them here.
Good Luck on whatever path you take.
~Hypatia >i< ..:::
.
PS. My Fantasy Pixie Self is a Poly-Morph.
She represents my desire to be able to be Whatever I feel like at the moment,
something that is not possible in our current world.