Some of you may remember that recently I had some unexpected news: my eldest son was (a) getting married and (b) preparing for fatherhood. We flew over for the wedding in New York and subsequently to visit our twin grand-daughters.

Since then, he has declared his intention of returning to England, so we have to prepare for the hordes...

He's not sure exactly which country they are going to end up in or who will have what job so they will be temporarily living near us and using us as a base... which means we will become child-minders... not that we mind, of course.

That means, initially, that we have to make the house (or certain parts of it, at least) child-proof and prepare somewhere for the little darlings to sleep. Now, we have a spare third bedroom and he used it when visiting, but when he went to NY to work he filled it with all his belongings so we have to clear that out to make room for two cots. We also have to clear the rest of the house and do all those little jobs we've been putting off. You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?

That's a big part of the reason why SEE has been a little sluggish recently. My attention has also been diverted by the need to sort out pensions, do the garden, make some essential repairs... and buy a vehicle big enough for six people.

It's not easy, at least not in Britain. There are a number of models around that appear to offer six or seven seats but these are often compromises. Six seaters are usually 3x3, and I've driven vans with three up front and it can get cosier than most people are comfortable with. Seven seaters are usually 2x3x2 with the rearmost two being 'jump seats' suitable only for taking part of a junior football team to and from the pitch. Adults will fit, but only if they are 5' 2" or for journeys less than a mile.

I wanted three rows, having been driven by my son in New York: If you put both child seats in the second row, only a small adult can squeeze between them and that person can't attend to the girls anyway because they can't turn easily. One in the middle and one in the back is the most comfortable way for both adults and children.

A complication occurs if you go up in size, which was what I wanted to do. I wanted room to take all the gear that one-year-old twins are likely to need around with them. The problem there is that larger vehicles are usually nine seats (3x3x3), which makes them a minibus (a commercial vehicle) and thus commerical rates of tax and insurance. I could have had a Mercedes Vito, which is eight seats arranged as 2x2x2x2 with a nice aisle down the middle but any Mercedes is going to be expensive to buy, insure and to run.

You can find seven or eight seater larger vehicles, but they are much rarer than hen's teeth and the insurers don't really understand them so they charge a lot.

So I eventually found a model which has 'reasonable' rearmost seats, a Citroen C4 Grand Picasso, but actually finding one for sale was almost impossible. Trawling online found me a number but when I phoned up they had always already gone. I eventually found a nearby vendor who had advertised three but had sold them all. He did however have a 2010 vintage model at a reasonable price for the fittings included. It was an ex-Motability[1] vehicle and thus fully automatic, which means that people used to US driving would be able to handle it OK. There appeared to be no obvious modifications. Fine, I'll have it.

Now I had to get insurance in order to drive it away. Having gotten rid of my van I've been driving as a named driver on my partner's car for the past four years so didn't have insurance of my own. Only, I couldn't insure it, because when I went online for a quote the registration mark came up with a completely different vehicle. OMG! It's a clone car! Talked to the vendor and he was horrified. But, it had only one owner and that was a government agency, so what had gone wrong?

The V5 document, the 'log book' issued by the DVLA[2], was correct. I'd seen that when I went to look at the vehicle. I did an on-line vehicle check and discovered the records had the right vehicle with one detail error: petrol instead of diesel. More frantic phone calls and it was confirmed that (1) the vehicle was real, (2) the DVLA entry was correct but the (separate) vehicle check database was wrong; and (3) the insurer's database was complete fiction.

It took five days to get the various databases updated for me to be able to get insurance and even then they had to manually override some bad information. Then we went and fetched the car. The rules for taxing a car on change of owner have now changed, so that you can't take over the existing tax allowance on a vehicle. It couldn't be taxed on-line or by post as the vehicle class had changed - remember, it was taxed as disabled previously, which meant none at all, and now it was being changed to normal taxation. So, a trip to the nearest post-office, in the pouring rain, in a car I had never driven before, with a transmission I had never used before. Fun!

Still, we now have a car that is big enough to take everyone and in comfort on long journeys. We can use it before they come to take stuff to recycling/charities/storage and to buy cots/baby seats/extra furniture etc. before they arrive. It's... interesting to drive, never ever having used an automatic before but easy enough to adjust to.

Now all we have to do is wait until they arrive. That happens July 22nd on the Queen Mary at Southampton. before then I hope to get at least two more chapters up but after that point I'm not sure how easy it will be to write. The little dears' room is right next to where I write and I'm sure the keyboard clacking will keep them awake.

We'll see.

Oh, and yes, we are spending the children's inheritance!

Penny

[1] Motability: A UK government agency which provides vehicles to persons registered disabled. These may have modifications to accomodate that person's particular disability. These cars are bough from new and are changed when they are five years old. That's why there are so many adverts online for used models. Vehicles for the disabled don't attract tax.

[2] DVLA: Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency, based in Swansea, Wales, is the UK Government agency which administers licences for drivers and registrations for all vehicles in the UK. I guess it would be the UK equivalent of the DMV in US states.