Bright light pierced through my eyelids as I woke up, my body still groggy. I stretched and yawned, feeling stiff and disoriented. Blinking a few times, I noticed I was back at home.

“Was it all a dream?” I muttered, trying to shake the fuzziness from my head.

An itch on my ear interrupted my thoughts, and I instinctively tried to scratch it—but something was in the way. My paw flailed awkwardly, and I froze when I realized what it was.

“Oh no...” My heart sank as I looked around. A plastic cone was strapped snugly around my neck. “It’s the cone of shame!” I groaned.

I started pacing in circles, the cone scraping against the floor. My vision was limited—just white plastic everywhere except directly in front of me. “What did they do to me?” I muttered.

Panic set in. “Did Ralph tell them I was licking myself? Is this some kind of punishment? Or—oh no—did I have surgery?” I sat down, mind racing. “Dogs don’t just wear these for fun. Something happened.”

I scanned my body as best as I could, though the cone made it impossible to see much. “Wait... What if I got neutered?” My breath hitched. “If I stay a dog, fine, but if I turn back into a human... No balls?! What kind of life is that?”

I tried pawing at the cone, clawing and wriggling to get it off, but it wouldn’t budge. Defeated, I flopped onto the floor with a heavy sigh. Time crawled by—well, probably only a few minutes, but it felt like hours. Being a dog really messed with my sense of time.

Boredom quickly took over. “What time is it, anyway?” I got up and padded to the desk in the living room. The clock was too far back for me to read. Frustrated, I headed to the kitchen to check the stove clock.

Jumping up, I squinted at the screen. “Twelve o’clock. Blinking.” I groaned. “Another power outage? Seriously?”

I remembered Mom kept a battery-powered clock in her bedroom, so I darted down the hallway—only to find the door shut. “Of course,” I muttered. “No luck today.”

With no better options, I jumped onto the couch and climbed toward the window. Maybe I could tell the time by the sun. But when I looked outside, thick gray clouds blocked everything. “Figures,” I grumbled.

In my frustration, I swung my head too quickly and accidentally knocked over a glass figurine with the edge of the cone. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the room. My ears flattened as I stared at the broken pieces.

“Oh no. No, no, no.”

Mom came rushing in, her face red with anger. “Bad girl!” she snapped, pointing toward the back room. “Get in the kennel!”

I froze. “Girl?”

But there was no arguing with her. Tail tucked, I shuffled to the room and saw a small wire cage in the corner. It must have been Zelda’s, but now it was apparently mine. I stepped in reluctantly, and Mom locked the door behind me.

Lying down, I sighed. “Did she really call me a girl? Can’t she tell the difference between me and Zelda? I mean, the cone should’ve been a giveaway!”

Hours seemed to pass, but it was probably only a couple of hours. I perked up when I heard the front door slam. Karly was home from school.

“Finally,” I muttered.

I heard her chatting with Mom in the kitchen. I couldn’t make out most of the conversation, but soon enough, Karly came bounding into the room with a leash in hand.

“Hi there, Alyssa!” she cooed, unlocking the kennel. “Want to go for a walk?”

I barked, wagging my tail furiously. I really needed to pee. But wait—what did she call me?

She clipped the leash to my collar, and I bolted for the door, dragging her behind me. “Alyssa?” I thought. “What’s going on?”

We were halfway down the road when I crouched to pee. It wasn’t until then that I realized something weird. I wasn’t lifting my leg—I was crouching like...a girl dog.

“What’s happening to me?” I muttered, mortified.

“Karly!” a familiar voice called. Ralph was walking toward us. “What’s with the cone of shame on Andrew?”

“Oh, she had surgery today!” Karly chirped.

“She?” Ralph froze, staring at me.

“Yeah, she’s a girl now!” Karly said proudly. “Mom decided to make her a girl dog when we had her neutered.”

“Neutered?!” I barked in disbelief.

“Yep! And now her name’s Alyssa. When she’s fully healed, Mom says she’ll get her pregnant. She knows this stud...”

I tuned her out, horrified. “Pregnant? Puppies? What is my life now?”

Ralph raised an eyebrow. “Can I take Alyssa for a walk, Karly? I’d like to...uh...talk to her.”

“Sure! I’ve got homework anyway.” Karly handed him the leash and skipped away.