I've never been good with relationships. I think a lot of that comes from my childhood. I watched my parents go though a messy divorce. Mom and grandma spent a lot of effort on mind games to turn me against my dad. Dad got remarried to the wicked bitch of the south. then divorced and eventually married for the third time(I like this one). I watched my sister go though countless boyfriends in high school and all the drama that entailed. She got married, had a kid then got divorced. she is now getting ready to get married for the second time. Me, I was the fat kid that girls would not have anything to do with. a couple did but those turned out to be pranks. So I kept to myself. I've been on a date here and there but the longest I've been with anyone was a just over a month. We had 3 dates.
I met a girl on line recently. She was supposed to be from a town about a half hour from me. I finally found out the profile was fake and she was actually from Siberia. What a waste of time. The next day I was contacted by a woman from my town. I know this one is local. I've seen her profile on other sites for some time. We talked for about a week and were supposed to meet up for coffee on friday. At the lst minite she rain checked me and has not contacted me since.
To tell you the truth, I don't know why I even bother anymore. I've known for a long time that I'm going to spend my life alone. I'll probably die a virgin.
But truthfully it's not about sex. I'm just so lonely. I just want someone to hold on to.
Jessica Marie
Comments
Forget the past
The first thing is to stop looking at the past. Stop blaming your parents for what you are, and take control of your own life. The future is what's important. Take control of it.
Join an interest group - whether it's rambling, ice-hockey or antiquities, it doesn't matter as long as it's interesting to you and it has both men and women.
And make friends there, not just with a view to having a relationship but simply because friendship is nice and it gives you experience at developing social skills.
Will that give you a wife and 2.2 children? Who knows, but even if it doesn't, you'll have a more enjoyable life than your current one.
My very best wishes
Good luck.
But truthfully it's not about sex. I'm just so lonely. I just want someone to hold on to.
Nobody wants to be alone.
The problem is, that most of the good women, that want a long term relationship, are already in one by the time they are in their early to mid-twenties. While most of the others are looking for a cheap thrill.
You on the other hand, are looking for a long term relationship. The good news is you have the right point of view on a meaningful relationship. But, such relationships have to be worked at by both parties. And there are times when there are slim pickings.
Still, that being said. Charlotte is right. If you cannot not find a love interest. At least try to find some good friends. And then, you will not be alone, in some ways.
Well, good luck.
to have a chance
to have a chance at a relationship you need to get settled enough in being you that you can live without a relationship. if you try to get into a relationship being needy for one, it will scare people away as if you were a drowning person who will drag them down if they get too close to you. most go into one for what they can get out of it, so you have a better chance if they see that their relationship with you will make them happier. try being happy, confident,caring and any other virtue that appeals to you, this will make you attractive to others reguardless of your looks. good luck, i hope this helps
Worse yet, relationships for the sake of relationships
tend to devolve into co-dependency, jealousy, and even outright hatred.
I love my little sister. She can be a great person, but rather than ever taking the time to define herself as a person she has always based her identity on who she is to other people, more specifically, whoever she is in a relationship with. She's never tried to find happiness with herself on the basis of her own worth, and that has caused issues for both her and those she has been with. Even her current husband... there are so many parts of who she is she chooses to ignore to try and be who she feels that others want her to be, or who she thinks she HAS to be to be loved.
Don't let that be you.
Be yourself. More to the point, strive to be HAPPY with yourself, before seeking romantic relationships. Being happier with yourself makes others happier to be around you, making it easier to make friends, and the more friends you have, the less lonely you are. This is important. A romantic relationship should be about wanting to be with the other person, not wanting to be with somebody: close, but not the same thing. Going into a relationship out of loneliness can lead to poor decision-making on whether the relationship is RIGHT for you, and if a relationship isn't right, then continuing it out of a desire not to be alone does neither party involved any good.
So, to reiterate: learn to be happy with yourself first, and find some friends to help you through it. Relationships -- physical, romantic, or any variation on the two -- should be a secondary concern, because it's about finding the RIGHT person, not just A person.
Melanie E.
huggles, hon.
you might need to step out of your comfort zone to find someone. Dont give up!
Screwed up families are the human norm…
… as Philip Larkin pointed out! The only thing that keeps us going seems to be finding a focus for our passions other than people. Found and worked at that makes us attractive to others who share the passion and the whole merry-go-round moves on a generation with maybe a little more self-control through self-awareness than our parents.
Rhona McCloud