I have gained permission to use names by those who are mentioned in my posting.
I want to thank those who posted comments to my 'blog'. As stated, the events are true because my husband, Grover, and I have and are still coming to terms with what is going on between us.
I also want to thank those who corrected my terminology. I am still learning all the ins and outs of the TG community. (no pun intended).
In answer to some questions that were implied in the comments posted, here goes.
Cathy, who is mentioned, is actually Catherine Linda Michel. Grover introduced me to her about June of 2007, but it wasn't until November 2007 that we really started talking/chatting. Cathy is and has become an integral part of my life because she has resolved many fears I have had about my relationship with Grover and the TG community as a whole. I am very glad to be her friend, and I am even more happy to call her "Sister." She is the one who encouraged me to write my thoughts and feelings about the process Grover and I have and still are going through. Without her love and faith in us, I probably would never have thought about doing such a thing.
So, Thank you, Cathy, for being such a wonderful sister to Grover and me as we journey together in this vast community that has become our family.
Much Love,
Paula
Comments
Thank you again for posting.
Grover's commented nicely in the past to my attempts at writing fiction.
I wish you both all the best in the world!
Annette
Who me?
Who me? Say something nice about someone's stuff? :)
Hugs!
grover
Yes, you!
A dear friend who's much loved and appreciated.
Magical mongooses (mongeese?) included.
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
That was my line, Itinerant ... flushgushiner *(&$#?$# proofers
Paula, um, is Miki Grover's pet name for you? Or visa versa?
You have a talented and demented spouce. I am glad you are doing what it takes to remain a couple, and an apparantly happy one at that.
Oh, if Grover gives you any characters to use in your own writings, run away screaming!
Damn furry scene stealer. I am writing a chapter now and even though my heroine is in Iowa and Miki is back at Whateley in New Hampshire, the manegy momgoose gets in the act. That should be mongoose ... no, pregnant with four girls she's more of a mom-goose.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Hon, I am honored,
by the friendship of you and Grover. You two have taught me as well, and your courage and determination has lifted me, during times when I was pretty low.
I was more than happy to be there for both of you, to help answer your questions, to maybe help allay some of your fears, and encourage both of you to find the real truth, in the mess of misinformation that proliferates on the internet.
There are so many of us who are more than ready, williing and able to help you and Grover come to a final understanding of what's going on. I hope you will take full advantage of each and every one of them.
God bless you and Grover, and thank you for your friendship and faith in me.
huggles 'n kissles from,
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
The Most Important Thing
...is that you communicate, and share, and love each other. Everything else will fall into place.
My own experience as a crossdresser was only fun to a point, without acceptance from my wife. Once that happened, I reached a place of great calm and peace. Things have been so much better for us both. To tell the truth, I think I've been crossdressing much less, and I don't seem to need it as much. Being able to dress and be accepted around my wife meant so much more to me, it was a kind of fulfillment.
I still have some vague ambition to be able to go out and about in the great wide world crossdressed at will, but not so much anymore. I've only been out twice. It was fun, and I needed to do it, but I'm not sure when I'll do it again. I wrote about both episodes. One at length and the other in extreme brief, in a 99-word "drabble".
Anyway, I'm writing to reassure you both that you are who you are. It's not a "slippery slope" from which you progress inevitably from making love in a nightgown or playing dressup or learning how to use cosmetics to best effect, to running off to Thailand to get your sex organs rearranged. Each person has a natural "steady-state" which they need to reach, and to be accepted in. Nor is it a single spectrum of sexuality, from masculine to feminine. It's a big, multi-dimensional jungle, with several different converging and diverging and unrelated scales. I posted something on this somewhere, but it's a bit boring. (Click here if you insist on being bored.)
"Know Thyself," the ancient Greek philosophers had carved in some of their temples. The implication of this is that each person is different. Once you give yourself permission to investigate, you can learn a lot about yourself.
"TG" isn't one thing, not by any means. It's just a handy label to group together any sort of expression, behavior, sense of self-identity or feelings that don't fit neatly into the rigid modern Western notions of sexual generalization/stereotype. Men are this, women are that, nonsense! Everyone is an individual, first, foremost, and always. I'm sure there are lots of people who want to help you follow the path they took, but this may not be your path.
Wishing you much love, much fun, and a bit of adventure in discovering your individuality!
Love,
Pippa
~~~~~
Thanks Pippa And Further Explanation to Grover
Pippa -- I endorse most of what you say in your comment and your linked blog. I think there may even be more spectrums than the seven you mentioned. It is complicated. I just watched a documentary about the life of Jackie Curtis "Superstar in a Housedress" that touched on the mish-mash of gender and sexuality spectrums that befuddle . . . especially when political morons still demand absolutes in a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world.
Grover and spouse -- the main thing to know is. . .what the authors write here is FICTION. It's more about feelings than about clinical studies. We take great liberties given the average TG readers ability to willfully suspend their disbelief. That willful suspension is one of the great attractions toward writing for this genre.
When we write about the immense happiness and satisfaction felt by one of our characters after SRS and the following marriage, that formula for life-success applies only to that fictional character in those fictional circumstances. It is not a panacea and was never meant to depict a panacea in real life -- at least by me and I'm sure by most.
When my hero in "Roling Through Life" goes to his best friends funeral en femme, that doesn't mean I think picking the day of your friends funeral as the best time to announce your inner feelings is a great idea. It might be, but hold on tight to reality. That particular story was written because I was so disappointed in what "Brokeback Mountain" could have been in a movie.
Many of the stories here are written for escape, for the author and the reader. They need to be read with that in mind.
Grover and spouse -- my "Hmmmmm" comment on the other thread had much more to do with the non-TG side of your relationship than with the TG side. Even with a "Hmmmmmm" I realize that any two people can define what they want in (and from) a relationship much better than any other person or governing body.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)