I look at M.S. I am…confused… I ask, “I don’t know why you can figure out what of all those colors is the ‘sex’ stream… But aside from that, I don’t understand how the energy I infused into Terri would have influenced that stream at all… Why did healing energy affect Terri’s sex? That IS the question, isn’t it? If Terri, or Terri’s subconscious, or Terri’s body thinks it needs to be more female to be ‘well’…” I blink in sudden clarity, hop up, and give M.S. a kiss on the cheek and say, “Thanks, M.S.! You have been a great help!” She gives me a confused look and waves limply as I rush out of the room.

About an hour later, Terri is in my office. I hand her a cup of tea and we settle in. I take a careful sip to give Terri a chance to get in the right frame of mind and then I ask, “OK, Terri. I have a question that I really need an answer on for my own purposes. It is OK if you are not fully settled on an answer, but I think you need to be clear on this for yourself, as well… How do you think of yourself? Do you think of yourself as boy…or as a girl?”

Terri sits there quietly for a few minutes, just cradling the cup of tea in front of her face and blowing the steam away from her. I just patiently wait. She finally takes a sip of the tea, puts the cup down, and puts her hands under her legs as she leans forward. She says, “I don’t know. That is the problem. I never really thought about it. I was a guy. I mean, you know…I had no reason to question that. Even up to the point where you injected your…energy…into me, well, I still considered myself a guy…just a confused one that suddenly liked girl’s clothes. Now…I don’t know. I don’t feel like neither…or maybe BOTH is the better word for it…and it feels…well, it feels OK. Does that make sense? It doesn’t to me…”

I sit and listen carefully. OMG, I have seriously made a mistake here…how do I fix this? This is going to take some major meditation and a group meeting with M.S. and the girls… At least the purple stream is clear now… I nod and say, “I believe it does, Terri. And I am afraid I may have unintentionally caused you some…confusion with my energy. I fully believe we will be able to correct anything I have done, but I have to tread carefully on that. What I believe happened is that over the past several days you have become comfortable in girl’s clothes. On top of that, you have a girlfriend that has been actively encouraging you to appear much more feminine; I think she actually may have even been encouraging you to go all the way and dress ‘en femme’ one hundred percent…?” Terri nods as I continue, “This created a sort of conflict in your subconscious streams… That is why I saw both masculine and feminine gender streams in my early scans… They were separate and distinct—but fully intertwined with one another. When I pushed the healing energy into you, it did exactly what your subconscious wanted at that moment…to feel OK with your conscious choice to please your girlfriend. The easiest way to accomplish that was to actually mix the streams…make you gender neutral if you will…but biased more towards the feminine side, since that is how you increasingly want to appear.”

I sit back and sip some tea to let that sink in a bit. I continue, “That is not all, though. There have been changes to your sex streams, as well. To be honest, I can’t see that. I mean I can, I just don’t know how to read it yet. M.S. is sure, though. Anyway, your desire to appear more feminine is driving changes in your body to accommodate that wish—thanks to my energy. That is the reason for the feminine skin, nails, and hair. Guys just don’t have the hormones for what you are exhibiting.” Terri pales and I continue, “I don’t think it has affected your…little guy…that much, but you likely have elevated female hormones at this point. We need to check that—again, M.S. can help me confirm it all. If so, and left like that, you will develop other female characteristics…likely at an accelerated rate…”

Terri blushes and asks, “Can I show you something?” I say, “Of course,” and Terri gets up and closes the door to my office. She unbuttons her blouse; I can’t help but notice that she is not showing any signs of difficulty with the left-hand buttons, or with the long nails. She takes off the blouse and then her camisole. She clearly has enlarged nipples, large areolae, and budding breasts. She says, “I thought I was going crazy. I couldn’t even tell Mom…” She starts to tear up a bit and I come over and hug her. I say, “It’s OK, Sweetie. We will work through this and fix things back to normal…whatever that turns out to be for you.” She dries her tears with a tissue I hand her and gets dressed as I ask, “So, given this…development… Do you agree that maybe going with the female pronoun for you at this point is best? You may not intend to be a girl…but I think you still intend to present as one?” Terri thinks a second and then nods.

I meet Mom at the mall on her lunch break. Joy insisted that I talk to her… I had gotten here first and grabbed a booth in one of the restaurants that is not too busy and is pretty private. We order and I quickly bring her up to speed; then say, “I guess I need to go and buy a bra…” Once Mom knows that I am really OK, she giggles and says, “We will go right after we eat…it won’t matter if I am a little late back from lunch. What good is it being the boss if you can’t be late once in a while for good reason?”

After we have finished eating, Mom takes me to Victoria’s Secret and gets me measured for a bra. I carefully watch how the girl does it. Joy made it quite clear that I would grow to whatever size I was going to at an accelerated rate and I will likely need to do the measuring myself for a while. What I had now had grown overnight…so, there is no need to get a lot of bras, since they likely soon won’t fit… The girl pronounces me an A-cup--barely…more like an A+-cup. Mom picks out several pairs of lacy panties and I get one matching bra that the girl recommends as a very popular style. It is very feminine-looking…and is a padded, push-up style. Mom insists that I put it on before we leave and I am looking at myself in the mirror in the little changing stall. I get a little tingle of excitement… I am wearing a BRA…because I NEED to… I put the blouse on without the camisole and…it fits much better, since it is actually cut for this type of figure. The bra makes me look like I have C-cups…and gives me real cleavage that I grin at as I button up the blouse so that it is not visible… Not that the bra is not slightly visible through the white blouse…

I come out and Mom gawks at me a second, then hugs me. I see us in one of the floor-length mirrors strategically placed throughout the store. It looks like two women hugging…even my girl jeans are fitting better…

Mom takes my VS bag and leaves to go back to work. Since it is just a little under an hour before my shift starts, I just hang out at the mall. Then, on a whim, I go up to the store early. Amanda is there greeting people and almost doesn’t recognize me. She exclaims, “TERRI?! Is that you?” I smile and hug her. I ask for a favor—to surprise Christi. Ten minutes later, I am trying several different skirts. I show Amanda each one and we both agree on one. I put on a new pair of tights and then put the pink pencil skirt back on. Luckily, I had worn my good booties. Overall, it looked great. I am actually getting a figure that can pull this off… I am beyond confused at me feelings of…contentment…

Amanda adds the cost of the tights and the skirt to my growing NYC bill, with Ms. M.’s approval—both on the transaction and the look… And then Christi comes in…

I am sitting in my conference room with M.S., Emily, and Shauna. I am fighting tears…hard… I look at them all one-by-one, then focus on M.S. and ask, “What have I done, M.S.?” M.S. uses a tool from my kit and just waits as I continue with a shaky breath, “Have I condemned that poor boy to something she doesn’t want? Is it my fault? Have I…forced her into something she doesn’t really want?” I bow my head in shame and feel the tears start to well up.

M.S. waits a minute and then says, “Look at me, Joy! Child, your energy just let Terri’s subconscious manifest itself. You can’t blame yourself for that. The difference between your transformation and hers is that I made sure you really had a chance to think things through and that your subconscious was in tune with your conscious choices. I did not have the energy to force that confluence. That is what you have done for Terri. It is very likely that Terri would have wound up pretty much where she is now subconsciously without your intervention—only it would have taken a lot longer… You have spared her a lot of grief on that front.” She grins lop-sided and continues, “That being said, I don’t necessarily advise that as a mainstream treatment option—although, you have the degree on that front…” She smiles and goes on, “Anyway, let’s just let Terri catch up with her changes. If her subconscious goes a different route, then we can adjust things to that—once. You can’t take responsibility for her choices forever. But, once she is sure of herself, then a single, final intervention, that I help you with, will settle this…right?” She looks at me, concerned, and asks, “Or—are you saying that you regret your choice…?”