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Chapter Five
 
The holidays did nothing to alleviate Connie’s pain. They did just the opposite in fact as they let her know that while others had close knit family’s hers didn’t want her. She wondered at the irony that even crooks had visits from family while in jail while she who hadn’t committed a crime didn’t enjoy the same right because her mother and father hated her for having a medical condition resolved.

Helping at the soup kitchen helped a bit as she felt somewhat appreciated there and felt she was doing something positive and her sister was always a phone call away. Knowing that Gina loved and accepted her was a big boon for her and it lessened some of the misery somewhat though not entirely as nothing could temper the ache in her heart at being tossed aside by her mom and dad and the love of her life in short succession.

Her body seemed to be taking it out on her too, she felt lethargic a lot of the time for some reason.

Thanksgiving as well as Christmas passed. She was planning to be alone as usual having made Gina go to their parents. Connie refused to take another child from them no matter how much a part of her wanted to get back at them, the better part of her still loved them.

Her plans for having a quiet Christmas didn’t come to pass though.

“So what’s up for Christmas?” Patty asked a few days before the big day when they met up at the soup kitchen.

“Oh this and that,” said Connie defensively.

Being a private person she didn’t feel like weighing down someone else with her woes.

“Connie I like to think we’re sort of friends and forgive me for intruding but you seem like you need someone to talk to. I’m there if you want to,” said Patty gently, clutching the other girls hand.

Connie wanted to cry. People seemed to want to care but they would turn their backs on you once you shared with them, Jason and her parents being a case in point.

“I wish I could but you wouldn’t get it,” she murmured.

Patty saw how much she’d been hurt and gave her a hug.

“It’s okay if you can’t talk about it. You can tell me when you’re ready but tell me this at least, are you going to be alone over Christmas?”

Reluctantly Connie nodded.

“Oh no, we can’t have that. Why don’t you come and have Christmas with me and my family, I promise I won’t be nosy. Please say yes Connie,” responded Patty begging her with puppy dog eyes.

Connie wanted to say no, she wanted to be alone and miserable which is why she said,

“Okay,”

The McNulty’s were a very hospitable clan who gave Connie a warm welcome.

There were eight of them Grandpa and Grandma McNulty, Patty’s parents Don and Ruth, her two brothers Connor and Matthew as well their wives Zoe and Diane.

“When are you going to bring us a boyfriend Patty?” teased her grandmother affectionately.

Patty laughed.

“I think I’ll be a spinster a little longer,” she joked as she kissed her grandma.

“Hello dear, forgive my rudeness. I’m just a poor old woman who wants a great grandchild before she dies,” said the senior Mrs McNulty to Connie though evidently the message was for her grandchildren who laughed.

“Oh come on gran, you don’t look a day over 55,” Connor teased her while the rest of the family introduced themselves to their guest.

Connie loved the easy-going nature her hosts seemed to have; they were such a close, loving family and she wished she could have had something like this in her own life. Her time there was good for her, it lifted her flagging spirits. She nearly forgot all her problems during her stay with the McNulty’s. Nearly being the operative word, because the McNulty’s were so happy she was shown what she thought she would never have, a happy, loving family of her own. She did her best not to let her sadness show to the people who’d been kind enough to open their home to her.

Patty sensed this and she tried in her own way to cheer up her guest.

“Look Connie I now you’re sad at the moment but life’s too short to spend being miserable. You’re gorgeous and I can guarantee someone will scoop you off your feet,”

“Sure,” said Connie rolling her eyes.

After the holidays and being cheered up by Patty and the fact that it was a New Year, the time for new beginnings Connie was just starting to recover her mojo when she ran into Jason’s mother as she did her monthly groceries at a supermarket she rarely frequented.

As she rounded a corner her cart nearly hit Mrs Koumakis’ cart.

“Hello Mrs Kou...,” Connie was saying when Mrs Koumakis cut her off with a stinging clap.

“That is for lying to my son and pretending to be a woman. What the hell did you think you were doing trying to seduce my son into your evil ways?”

Connie opened her mouth to answer but Mrs Koumakis cut her off again.

“Don’t you dare talk to me you, you freak,” she said, “to think you I welcomed you into my home and that my son had found someone special. You’re disgusting,” she hissed before hurrying off in high dudgeon.

Connie just stood there fighting back tears. She’d thought Mrs Koumakis was a wonderful person but this outburst had come from nowhere. She never would have pegged her to be so full of hate.

This episode left her convinced that she couldn’t trust people with her secret and it snuffed out the good mood she’d been developing.She reacted by becoming more of a loner. More than once guys at work asked her out but she would politely turn them down fearing an outcome similar to the one she’d had with Jason. Going out which had been so interesting suddenly lost it’s all its lustre and Connie’s life descended to one where the only thing that got her out of bed was the need to go to work.

She also continued feeling sick and tired for no reason she could identify, her workload was the same and she didn’t think she was losing sleep. Gina was the only person she allowed to get close and she called every night and came by every other weekend making the 50 mile trip to see how her sister was doing.

It took Gina to notice something was wrong one weekend when she saw her sister vomit two mornings in a row.

“I think you ate something that didn’t agree with you, you should go and see a doctor,” she suggested.

“No I’m fine,” insisted Connie.

“No you’re not; this isn’t the Connie I met months ago. I know you’re hurting over everything but maybe they can give you something to make it better,” Gina responded.

Connie wanted to argue but she just didn’t have the strength to do so. She had no choice but to go along with her sister’s suggestion. Connie wanted to see her endocrinologist but when they called his practice there was no answer. Gina wouldn’t let her wait until Monday so they headed to a nearby practice and it wasn’t too long before a doctor saw her. Connie narrated all her symptoms and the doctor took a urine and blood sample. She didn’t mention that she was a transsexual and was on hormones.

“Miss Richards I can tell you what’s been making you sick lately. You’re pregnant,” said Dr Davis slowly.

Connie was stupefied as was Gina.

“What?” they both queried quite shocked.

“When was your last period” Dr Davis asked thinking she was one of those girls whose monthlies were irregular and wouldn’t notice missing a period.

“That’s not possible,” said Connie, “I wasn’t born a girl,”

Dr Davis’s eyes narrowed, “Is this a joke because,”

“No it’s not. Connie used to be my brother David until she had a sex-change,” explained Gina.

Connie nodded and explained her medical history to the doctor.

“Well I’m stupefied,” remarked Dr Davis, “I guess I’ll just have to run the tests again,” she told them.

The Richards sisters sat there holding hands while Dr Davis went to retest, both of them still stunned by what had just happened.

“She had me going there,” Connie finally said to her sister.

“Yeah I was shocked too,” said Gina looking at sister closely, “but you’d like kids wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, but I can’t have my own you know, that’s the saddest thing about being the way I am,” remarked Connie.

“Didn’t you like save your ..,” she queried before flushing, “stuff,”

Connie giggled, “No, I took hormones for too long from a pretty young age, I was infertile by the time I had the op,” she explained, her tone becoming sad.

Gina gave her a hug wishing she could help her sister somehow.

Still she didn’t have to wait too long because an hour later the doctor came back.

“I’ve just rechecked the test Ms Richards and I’m afraid the tests were right, you are about two months pregnant,” announced Dr Davis.

“How, that’s not possible,” remarked Connie, staggered.

“Somehow, it happened, so the best thing we can do is to deal with this,” said Dr Davis, “I think you’re inter-sexed,”

Connie was shocked, she had no idea how this had happened, sure she’d had unprotected sex with Jason but she’d been physically male before her surgery. A dazed Gina looked at her also in shock while Dr Davis carried on with her spiel.

Everything was a blur as Connie was led to scanner and had her belly scanned. The next thing she remembered hearing was,

“It appears that you have an ectopic pregnancy, this could be potentially fatal if you carry the baby to term,”

Dr Davis then explained what an ectopic pregnancy was, apparently Connie had one ovary but no womb and the baby had become attached to her tubes or her abdomen and this was a dangerous thing. She suggested a termination.

That snapped Connie out of it, “No, I can’t do that,” she told the doctor.

“It’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to carry the foetus to term Miss Richard’s, this could kill you if not treated,”

“I won’t destroy my baby,” insisted Connie.

The doctor looked helplessly at Gina as Connie made to leave.

“I always wanted to be a girl Gina, since I was six or seven, now I’m going to be a mother and I can’t believe it. I never thought something like this would happen,” said Connie.

“You’ll be risking your life honey,” Gina answered.

“I know but I can’t kill this baby so I can live,” said Connie firmly.

“So you’re going to kill both of you instead?” Gina replied.

“I want another opinion. Maybe there’s a way for my baby to survive. After all it’s not like doctors know everything or they’d have told me I was a girl when I had my surgery,” said Connie.

“I understand are you going to tell Jason?” Gina queried.

“I don’t know,” said Connie softly.

“What about Mom and Dad?” Gina asked.

“No way am I not going back to them,” Connie said vehemently.

“But Connie, this is your chance to make up everything, if you’re pregnant it means you’ve always been female, even genetically, it’ll make them come round,” argued Gina.

“No, I’m not going to have anything to do with them again,” Connie told her sister, “they are not going to be a part of my life again.”
 
 
To Be Continued...