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Mrs. D has been participating in an evaluation/study at major hospital in Manhattan on blocks away from the hospital where our son works. The testing included new forms of both MRIs and PET/CT scans which can detect the plaque nearly always present in people suffering from Alzheimers. The testing detected an insignificant amount and found very little evidence of damage from the injury she suffered at work.
With both her mother and grandmother succumbing to complications from AD, any problems with memory and/or concentration remain a major concern to her and her six sisters and two brothers, So this news is of a tremendous relief. Even at that, she hasn't been able to work and her retirement status is in litigation, so to Lion's share of our financial needs falls on our son's shoulders. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of him.
On a different note, Mrs. D has begun to engage in brief questions about gender and is at least aware of my 'conflict,' as she puts it. She's agreed to read some of my work; a suggestion made months ago by my therapist but never communicated for fear of rejection. Yes... She goes back and forth, and while she nearly always understands and accepts that I have friends who have good reason to need to transition, the thought of me even discussing how I feel often seems very threatening to her. I don't blame her at all, but it is very difficult to maintain citizenship in two worlds so to speak. Did I mention I'm scared?
As for my own health, the tremors are exactly where my neurologist told me they would be; no improvement but no degeneration; a characteristic of the disorder. Fibro beats the hell out of both of us almost every day, but my niece, who suffers from the same auto-immune deficiencies, suggested using a distillate of Magnesium Citrate, so that's something good to report as well.
I cannot begin to thank all of you for the support you've given me; both as a person and as a writer, and I treasure your friendship as well. Staying positive has been of huge help both emotionally and physically (thank you Bobbie C) and I'm doing much better than anyone could have hoped for. Thanks again, and love you all!
Important Post Script...
I owe so many here so much, and I do treasure you, some more than others, but that's the way friendships and family go. Please don't feel excluded, but I must give thanks to Laika. Ronnie has been a sister to me in so many ways; often uncanny and nearly psychic in the connection. I've hardly been available to her the past year, and I NEED to acknowledge how special she is to me. Schmoopsie? You're the best.
Thanks
Comments
huggles, Drea
glad the Mrs is doing better, wish you were as well.
❤
Hugs!
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Love and Hugs
I honestly do not know what to say but I am glad that things are manageable for you and Your dear wife. Life is hard for many of us and chronic medical conditions are no fun but some how having ourselves and each other helps. I truly appreciate your writing and the gentle loving woman who peeks out from behind the story.
I am with you dear sister.
Joani
We Love You 'Drea
I hope Mrs. D will read your stories because they say so much about your heart, not necessarily your predicament. I think it helps to get people close to you to read your works. My daughter has read all of the California Saga stories, as has my wife's best friend, and an associate of mine from the military. It's nice to get support outside the community. I can see anthologies of your stories doing quite well out there.
Portia
My best wishes
to both of you.
Angharad
My thoughts and prayers
have always been and shall always be with you and your family.
I'm so happy to hear the good news about Mrs. D. It's the high point of my year. I do hope she'll read some of your work to meet the part of you you've had to keep hidden. It would be such a release just to be able to talk freely and share your feelings with her. I hope she'll get to meet ALL of the warm, compassionate Andrea who is loved by so many here and elsewhere and that she'll be as proud of you as we all are.
Your son is a prince.
You can contact me by email or on Facebook.
Love and prayers, Little Sister...
Yours always,
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
My theory
A positive outlook is the only weapon we have that really works. I would even say more that faith, even. But then again, faith and hope go hand in hand with a positive attitude. One, in fact, engenders the other.
The reason I can say that being positive is more powerful than faith is that, if things don't turn out the way you want it to, you lose faith, and you plummet into despair. And the depth of your faith dictate how deep your despair would be when you lose it. Sometimes even down to suicidal despair. I know this to be a true axiom, as my faith in one I thought loved me unconditionally turned out to be misplaced, and I tried suicide.
So, unless you have what religious people call "true faith", it is only positivism that can turn the tide.
Most don't really know what "true faith" is, but, as far as I know, what it means is that your faith in someone, or in something, or in some sort of belief, is unshakable no matter what happens. Thing is...
Even in Christian religions, "true faith" is hard to get, simply because we are thinking creatures that question and analyze and compare and evaluate... the "apple" that the serpent gives Adam is exactly that - knowledge has made us question. Our intelligence has made us doubt.
So, no one, I think, really has "true faith" that renders one bulletproof from sadness, despair, fear. I DO think that we all have a lesser kind of faith - the regular, everyday kind - but that kind of "shakeable faith" only lasts up to a point. This tipping point varies, of course - for some, it is poverty that makes them lose it, others the death of a loved one, or sickness, or the loss of recognition or love. I think all of us have these. For me, my big tipping point was being rejected by someone I loved.
So, unless you are one of the lucky few with perfect faith, then all you can have is positivism. That, no matter how bad it is, one needs to power through and get past it.
In a way, it's a kind of stubbornness that I am advocating, but a good kind of stubbornness. That one doesn't give up. no matter what. It is not about wanting to be victorious or coming out on the other side. Rather it is stubbornly continuing on and denying your despair or sadness, with no other motivation other than wanting to fight on. And the reason I think this a good thing is because, most times,you DO come out the other side. So it's like a game. Fight on until you come out the other side, and if you still haven't, just keep on fighting on coz it'll happen eventually. It's just a matter of time.
Hmmm. Sounds suspiciously like "true faith," huh?
Lately, I lost this "positivism," for reasons I will not get into (Aunt Andrea and some others here know why). But I have gotten the proper mindset back, and am fighting on. It was pretty tough, especially around my birthday last month, but dare I say, I think I have come out on the others side again, or if not, pretty soon.
So, all I can say, Aunt Andrea, is that I am glad to have helped. I am happy to hear about your spouse, and am happy that you have kept your condition as stable as you can. Please do continue fighting on, and keep being positive. Let us know when you get to the other side.
Much love to you.
To read my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
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http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
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http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
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http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c