It is posted but no one said anything about it. Well it has one comment but its not really about the content of the story or what they think of it. Im worried. Whats wrong with it?
Its my first attempt and I like the idea but i like to know how to make it better and what things to add for the second part. I like the story and its idea but I guess every writer thinks their story is great but how they know if they are write is if others agree and praise their story. Or at least offer to help them make it better. But is it too brutal for this site or is it just a stupid story
should I give up
It is the tale of tristin diez
Lucille, I very seldom get a
Lucille, I very seldom get a lot of comments and I don't worry about that. I tend to look for kudos more. I very seldom write comments unless it really moves them. I have read this version and the first version and it is a lot better this time.
thank you
I wanted to know if it was better or not.
To me it is better than the
To me it is better than the first one.
We all start somewhere.
The first story I wrote was awful. Every time I return to it to try to fix it, I am ill.
Things will get better.
Gwen
LOL, feeling ill
I totally know that feeling. Everytime I recalled what I wrote in the first Half-Lilin, I got embarrassed. Whenever I actually tried to fix it, I got a headache, my eyes became unfocused and if I persisted, I would faint. That's why even to this day I have not been able to fix Half-Lilin, despite how many times I said I would fix it.
To Lucille: Don't worry, keep writing. First stories aren't gonna be your masterpiece, so expect a slow response. It would be better than being insulted, I assure you. I would know, I was insulted that I threw my keyboard on the floor and stomped on it before deleted every story I had ever written.
Nopix
I think almost every ones first story is rough around the edges. It will get better with Practice(it's the only way to Carnegie hall. Keep at it, if you wanna see suckage look at my stories.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
Mark Twain.
Leigh Veritas
Personally?
I'm not reading it for the subject matter, and I'm sure that will be part of the issue with a lot of readers here at BC. While historically forced femme is one of the more popular genres in TG fiction it doesn't do near as well here at BC as it does at other sites. We have a much more tame audience here than many do, so the heavy hitters as far as comments and hits tend more toward the more white bread stories than the more fetish-oriented ones.
None of this is a comment on the quality or creativity of your story, but keeping the particular audience you're writing to in mind is important when judging the level of feedback you'll receive.
Melanie E.
Don't give up
Most stories I post here don't seem to generate much in the way of comments until its been up a day or so. And then it's rare if it gets more than 10. The thing is to write what you enjoy. If someone else likes it too, then bonus. I wish I knew the trick to getting a lot of comments.
Melanie
Firstly...
Firstly, you have to write for yourself. If you're enjoying your own story, the rest will come. What others think of it shouldn't be your only motivation for writing. That would mean you were more interested in the attention than the written arts, or even exploring your own imagination.
Given a choice of what to read, my motivation is different. So, when your story apparently swerved into a plot line that I wasn't interested in, I stopped and moved on. But, I'll bet there were others whose eyes lit up and started reading with greater interest.
That doesn't mean I didn't think your story was good, and who knows? If I had finished reading it, I may have taken away something important and memorable from it. But the bridge from gladiator story to forced-femme bride story was... short. It was like someone just threw a switch and it was a different story. The bridge was so short as to be almost non-existent, and whatever interest I had in the characters from the beginning wasn't carried through.
What I'm saying is, that even though those plots aren't my cup of tea, if my interest in the character is maintained, sometimes I'll stick with it, or at least longer. That didn't happen here. But, would it have even mattered?
Because, forced femme is a kind of fetish, and fetish fiction should be written to appeal to those who seek it. Nothing wrong with that. Having wider literary ambitions for a forced femme story, or a bondage story, or a maid story, or a centaur story, or any fetish story, is perhaps over-optimistic. Write for your specific audience and yourself. Just don't feel rejected if your audience is small or hasn't found your story yet.
yeah its a stretch isnt it
from elite gladiator to feminized male bride. But that is what I think can make it a good story. Put someone in the last situation you woud ever think he could be in and if I do it right I think it can be good. I have ideas how it can be made to work out
Circular story form
If you want to use a story line that works back to the opening it will read better if the interpretation is different in each case. For example;-
1. Story starts with opening letter with news of marvelous future but by the end we realise it is being read by someone awaiting execution or
2'. Story starts with watching home being demolished but by the end we learn the home was a far from happy place and the watcher is off to a new and better future
Rhona
Rhona McCloud
Don't Give up!!!!!!!!
Whatever you do don't give up. You may want to see if someone would act as your editor, it is always good to have a second set of eyes to catch spelling and grammar mistakes. A good one will also help with continuity.
I've always composed my stories in Open Office or Word and then reviewed them several times before posting. I have yet to post anything on here, I'm still exploring ideas, but I would be more than willing to help you if you want.
Patrick Malloy
I read it.
its obviously only the introduction so I didn't both posting.
I rarely if ever post any feedback until the entire story is posted.
it often gets me in trouble, but I think a story isn't worth posting until its finished.
Dayna.