Transgendered Fairy Tales
by Kaleigh Way

19. The Kinglet, part one

 

I

Once upon a time there was a little soldier who came back from the war. He didn't die, or lose his arms or legs, but when the fighting ended, there was nothing else for him to do: he had to return home, to the village where he was born.

The soldier's name was really John, but for some reason his friends always called him the Kinglet. No one knew why, but that's what they called him.

He had no family to welcome him home: no father, mother, or anyone else, so he took his time and didn't hurry. He went quietly along, his knapsack on his back and his sword at his side.

One night, he wanted to light his pipe, but couldn't find his matchbox anywhere. After a thorough search of his pockets and pack, he realized to his disgust that it was quite lost. He went on in the darkness for a short way, until he noticed a light shining through the trees. He went toward it and found an old castle, with the door standing open.

The soldier went inside and found a large fire blazing at the end of a low hall. He knocked, he called out, and shouted as politely as he could manage, but no one answered. The castle seemed to be completely empty, and yet here was a roaring fire.

John went straight to the fireplace and seized the tongs. He might as get his pipe lit while he waited for whomever lived in the place.

As he stooped to find a nice little red coal, something in fire went click! like a spring giving way, and in the midst of the flames an enormous serpent reared up close to his face.

And stranger still, this serpent had the head of a woman.

At such an unexpected sight most men would dropped their pipe and turned and run, but our little soldier was not such a man. Though he was small, he had a true soldier's heart. He took a half-step backward and grasped the hilt of his sword.

"Don't draw your sword," said the serpent. "I've been waiting for you: you're the one who must set me free."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Ludovine. I am the daughter of the King of the Low Countries. Deliver me, and I will marry you and make you happy for the rest of your life."

Again, most men would have some qualms about marrying a serpent with a woman's head, but the Kinglet was not such a man. He felt the cool fascination of Ludovine's eyes, which gazed at him the way a snake looks at a little bird. They were beautiful green eyes, long and almond-shaped. Her golden hair, that flowed and floated through the flames, added to the luster and glow of those wonderful eyes. Her face had the beauty of an angel, though her body was that of a snake.

"What must I do?" asked the Kinglet.

"Open that door. You will find yourself in a gallery with a room at the end like this one. Enter that room, and you'll see a closet, out of which you must take a tunic, and bring it back to me."

The little soldier did as he was told. He crossed the gallery in safety, but when he reached the room he saw, by the light of the stars, eight hands on a level with his face, all ready to strike him. Look where he would, he could discover no bodies or arms belonging to them.

He lowered his head and rushed forward, amidst a storm of blows, which he returned with his fists. He retrieved the tunic from the closet, and brought it back to the first room.

"Here it is," he panted, rather out of breath.

Click! Once more the flames parted. Ludovine was a woman down to her waist. She took the tunic and put it on before his admiring eyes. It was a magnificent tunic of orange velvet, embroidered in pearls, but the pearls where nowhere near as white as her neck.

"That is not all," she said. "Go back to the gallery, take the staircase on the left, and in the second room on the first story you'll find another closet with my skirt. Bring it to me."

The Kinglet did as he was told, but on entering the room he saw not only hands, but eight arms as well, each holding an enormous stick. With scarcely a thought he drew his sword and cut his way through with such vigor that he hardly received a scratch.

He brought back the skirt, which was made of silk as blue as he skies of Spain.

"Here is is," said John as the serpent appeared. She was now a woman as far as her knees.

"I only need my shoes and stockings now," she told him. "Go get them from the closet on the second story."

The little soldier climbed the stairs, and found himself in the presence of eight goblins armed with hammers. Flames darted from their eyes. This time he stopped at the threshold and thought for a moment. "My sword is no use this time; these fellows will break it like glass. If I can't think of something clever, I'm a dead man."

At that moment, he glanced at the door, which was made of thick and heavy oak. He wrenched it off its hinges, held it over his head, and ran straight for the goblins, whom he crushed beneath it. After he caught his breath and mopped his brow, he took the shoes and stockings out of the closet and brought them to Ludovine. The moment she put them on, she became a woman all over.

Now that she was completely dressed, with her white silk stockings and little blue slippers dotted with jewels, she said to her deliverer, "Listen to me: you must go away and never come back here, no matter what happens. Here is a purse with two hundred ducats. Sleep tonight at the inn at the edge of the wood, but be sure to wake up early: for at nine o'clock I will come to fetch you in my carriage."

"Why don't we leave together, right now?" asked the Kinglet.

"Because my time has not yet come," answered the Princess. "But first you may drink my health with this glass of wine." As she spoke she filled a crystal goblet with a liquid that looked like melted gold.

John drank, then lit his pipe and walked out of the castle.

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II

At the inn he ordered supper, but the instant he sat down, he caught himself falling asleep.

"I must be more tired than I thought," he said to himself. After telling his hosts to be sure to wake him at eight the next morning, he went to bed.

He slept through the night like a dead man. At eight o'clock they came to wake him, and then at half-past, a quarter-to, and nine o'clock itself, but it was no use. It was like trying to wake a stone, so they left him in peace.

When at last he woke, he heard the clocks strike noon, so he sprang from the bed and ran downstairs half-dressed to ask if anyone had called for him.

"Oh, yes, a lovely princess came!" replied the landlady, "in a coach all of gold. She left you this bouquet, and a message to say that she herself would pass this way tomorrow morning at eight o'clock."

The little soldier cursed his sleep, and tried to console himself by looking at the bouquet.

"Those are immortelles," the landlady told him. "It's a flower of remembrance."

When night came, he slept with one eye open, and jumped out of bed twenty times an hour. When the birds began to sing, he couldn't bear to stay in bed any longer, so he climbed out the window into the lime tree that stood by the door. That way, he said to himself, he would be sure to see the Princess. And there he sat, gazing at his bouquet until he fell fast asleep.

Once asleep, nothing could wake him: neither the hot, bright sun, nor the songs of the birds, nor the noise of Ludovine's golden coach, nor the cries of the landlady, who searched for him in every place she could think of.

At last, at the stroke of noon he woke, and his heart sank as he climbed down from the tree and saw them laying the table for the midday meal.

"Did the Princess come?" he asked.

"Oh, indeed she did! We searched high and low for you, and she waited as long as she could, the dear. She left this flower-colored scarf for you and said that she would come for you tomorrow at seven o'clock, but it would be the last time."

"I must have been bewitched," the soldier told himself. He tied the scented scarf around his left arm, and then it came to him: the best way to keep awake was not to go to bed at all! So he paid his bill and bought a horse with the money that remained, and when evening came he mounted his horse and stood in front of the inn, determined to stay there all night.

Every now and then he bent his head to sniff the scarf's sweet perfume, and gradually each sniff became longer, until at last his nose remained in the scarf, and his head sank onto the horse's neck. The man and the horse snored together through the night and into the morning.

When the Princess arrived, his landlord shook him, and beat him, and screamed in his ears and slapped him, but it did no good at all. Neither man nor horse woke till the coach was vanishing away in the distance.

Then John put the spurs to his horse, and called with all his might "Stop! Stop!" But the coach drove on as before, and though the little soldier rode after it for a day and a night, he never came one step nearer.

Thus they left many villages and towns behind them, till they came to the sea itself. Here John thought that at last the coach must stop, but, wonder of wonders! it went straight on, and rolled over the water as easily as it had done over the land.

John's horse, which had carried him so well, fell to the ground from fatigue, and the little soldier sat sadly on the shore, watching the coach as it disappeared on the horizon.

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III

However, he soon plucked up his spirits again, and walked along the beach to try and find a boat in which he could sail after the Princess. But no boat was there, and at last, tired and hungry, he sat down to rest on the steps of a fisherman's hut. In the hut was a young man who was busy mending a net. He invited John to come in, and set before him some wine and fried fish. John ate and drank and felt comforted. He told his adventures to the sympathetic fisherman.

The fisherman was young, handsome, and good-hearted, and his neighbors called him the Seagull, because he was born with hair as as white as a gull's breast.

When the Kinglet finished his tale, the lad was filled with pity for him and said: "Listen: last week, when I was fishing, my net suddenly grew very heavy, and when I drew it in I found a large copper vase, sealed with lead. I brought it home and placed it on the fire. When the lead had melted a little, I opened the vase with my knife and found a mantle of red cloth and a purse containing fifty crowns. That is the mantle over there, covering my bed. I was keeping the money in case I ever get married or retire, but neither of those things are likely to happen soon. So why don't you take the money and go to the nearest seaport. There you'll find a ship sailing for the Low Countries, and when you become King you can send me back my fifty crowns."

The Kinglet declared, "When I am King of the Low Countries, I will settle you for life and marry you to a lovely lady of the court! For you helped me when no one else would."

The Seagull smiled and said he would be happy enough with the fifty crowns and the Kinglet's friendship. "None of us know what the future can bring," he said, and went back to his fishing.

Now that he was alone, the little soldier felt sleepy, so he wrapped himself in the red mantle and threw himself down on a heap of dried grass. As he thought of all the strange things that had befallen him, he suddenly exclaimed,

"Oh, how I wish I was in the capital of the Low Countries!"

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IV

The next moment, the little soldier found himself standing before a splendid palace. He rubbed his eyes and pinched himself, and when he was quite sure he was not dreaming he said to a man who was smoking his pipe before in a doorway, "Where am I?"

"Where are you? Can't you see? In front of the King's palace, of course."

"What King?"

"Why the King of the Low Countries!" replied the man, laughing, "Who else?"

The palace guards heard and saw everything, and shook their heads as John wandered off.

Was there ever anything so strange? Yet, poor John was even more troubled by the idea that the Seagull would think that he'd stolen the mantle and purse. He asked himself how he could return them, and realized that the mantle must have a hidden magic that carried him wherever he wished to be. In order to test it, he wished himself in the best inn of the town, and immediately he was there.

This amazing discovery gave John a powerful appetite, so he ordered supper. Since it was too late to visit the king that night, he went to bed.

The next morning he found that all the houses and buildings were wreathed with flowers and covered with flags. All the church bells were ringing, and people were running everywhere as if it were a holiday. The Kinglet asked the meaning of it all and was told that the Princess Ludovine, the king's beautiful daughter, had been found and was about to enter the city.

"That suits me fine!" thought the Kinglet. "I'll stand at the door and let her see me."

He'd scarely finished dressing when Ludovine's golden coach went by. She wore a golden crown, and the king and queen sat by her side. By accident her eyes fell on the little soldier, and she grew pale and turned her head away.

"She must have recognized me," the soldier told himself. "Could she be angry because I missed our meetings?"

He followed the crowd to the castle. When the royal party entered the gates, the little soldier told the guards that it was he who had saved the princess, and that he wished to speak to the king.

Unfortunately, he met the same guards who had seen him before, and the more he talked, the more they were convinced that he was some sort of lunatic, and at last they sent him away.

The little soldier was furious! He felt that he needed his pipe to calm him, and he went to a tavern and ordered a beer. "It must be this damn solider's helmet," he told himself. "It's put her off. Oh, if only I had some money! Then I could dress as well as any lord of the court! But all I have is what's left of the Seagull's fifty crowns!"

He took out the purse to how much was there, and found that there were still fifty crowns.

"The Seagull must have miscounted," he told himself. He paid for his beer, and counted the money again. There were still fifty crowns! He took away five and counted a third time, but there were still fifty. He emptied the purse completely, then closed it. When he opened it again, it still contained fifty crowns!

Then a plan came into his head, and he went at once to the royal tailor.

He ordered a suit of blue velvet embroidered with pearls. Next, he went to the royal coachbuilder and had him build a golden coach just like the coach of the Princess Ludovine. If the tailor and the coachbuilder were quick he promised to pay them double.

A few days later the townspeople were surprised to see a beautiful coach drawn by six white horses, with four footmen in livery standing behind. Inside sat John, clad in blue velvet, with a bouquet of immortelles in his hand and a scarf bound round his arm. He drove twice round the city, throwing money to the right and left, and the third time, as he passed under the palace windows, he saw Ludovine lift a corner of her curtain and peep out.

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V

The next day no one talked of anything but the rich lord who had distributed money as he drove along. The talk even reached the Court, and the Queen, who was very curious, had a great desire to see this wonderful Prince.

"Very well," said the King, "let him be asked to come and play cards with me."

This time the Kinglet was not late for his appointment.

The King sent for the cards and they sat down to play. They had six games, and John always lost. The stake was fifty crowns, and each time he emptied his purse, which was full the next instant.

The sixth time the King exclaimed, "It is amazing!"

The Queen cried, "It is astonishing!"

The Princess said, "It is bewildering!"

"Not so bewildering," replied the little soldier, "as when you changed into a serpent."

"Hush!" interrupted the King, who did not like the subject.

"I only spoke of it," said John, "because you see in me the man who delivered the Princess from the goblins and whom she promised to marry."

"Is that true?" the King asked the Princess.

"Quite true," answered Ludovine. "But I told him to be ready to go with me when I passed by with my coach. I passed three times, but he slept so soundly that no one could wake him."

"What is your name?" said the King, "and who are you?"

"My name is John. I am a soldier, and my father was a boatman."

"I'm bound to say that you are not a fit husband for my daughter. Still, if you will give us your purse, you shall have her for your wife."

"My purse does not belong to me, and I cannot give it away."

"But you can lend it to me until our wedding-day," said the Princess with one of those glances the little soldier never could resist.

"And when will that be?"

"At Easter," said the monarch.

"Or in a blue moon!" murmured the Princess, but the Kinglet did not hear her, and he let her take the purse.

Next evening he presented himself at the palace to play picquet with the King and to pay court to the Princess. But he was told that the King had gone into the country to receive his rents. He returned the following day, and had the same answer. Then he asked to see the Queen, but she had a headache. When this had happened five or six times, he began to understand that they were making fun of him.

"That is not the way for a King to behave," thought John. "Old scoundrel!" and then suddenly he remembered his red cloak.

"Ah, what an idiot I am!" said he. "Of course I can get in whenever I like with the help of this."

That evening he was in front of the palace, wrapped in his red cloak.

On the first story one window was lighted, and John saw the shadow of the Princess on the curtains.

"I wish I was in Princess Ludovine's room," said he, and in a second he was there.

The King's daughter was sitting before a table counting the money that she emptied from the inexhaustible purse.

"Eight hundred and fifty, nine hundred, nine hundred and fifty–"

"A thousand," finished John. "Good evening everybody!"

The Princess jumped and gave a little cry. "You here! How dare you? Leave at once, or I shall call–"

"I have come," said the Kinglet, "to remind you of your promise. The day after to-morrow is Easter Day, and it is high time to think of our marriage."

Ludovine burst into a fit of laughter. "Our marriage! Are you really foolish enough to believe that a Princess like me would ever marry the son of a boatman?"

"Then give me back the purse," said John.

"Never," said the Princess, and calmly put it in her pocket.

"As you like," said the little soldier. "He laughs best who laughs last!" With that, he took the Princess in his arms. "I wish," he cried, "that we were at the ends of the earth!" In one second he was there, still clasping the Princess tightly in his arms.

"Ouf," said John, laying her gently at the foot of a tree. "I never took such a long journey before. What do you say, madam?" The Princess understood that it was no time for jesting, and did not answer. Besides, she was still feeling giddy from her rapid flight, and had not yet collected her senses.

© 2007 by Kaleigh Way

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