Transgendered Fairy Tales
by Kaleigh Way

Like so many stories, this one begins with a king and queen. The queen had a son named William, and the king had a son named James. William was taller, stronger, and more handsome, while James was clever and resourceful. The two boys loved each other like brothers, and between the strength of one and the cunning of the other, no one could get the better of them.

Unfortunately, the queen was jealous of James. As you can well imagine, she wanted her own son, William, to be king one day. Of course, she believed he was better suited to wear the crown. However, James was the king's son, and everyone — except the queen — expected that James would take the throne and William would marry abroad.

The boys themselves thought so; the only difficulty they saw in the arrangement was that one day they'd be obliged to live apart.

And yet, the queen could not rest until she found a way to put her own son first. In time, she took counsel with the henwife, a bitter old woman who knew her share of spells and potions. The hag lay her finger alongside her nose and told the queen, "My mistress, if you send that troublesome boy, the king's son, to me early tomorrow morning, I'll settle his business to your satisfaction."

"Can you?" asked the queen. "Are you sure?"

"Count upon it, mistress," replied the old biddy. "Make sure that the boy comes to me fasting. Don't let a single morsel pass his lips."

And so, early the next day, the queen said to James, "Oh, how I long for a new-laid egg. Would you go to the henwife in the glen and ask her for some?" The lad willingly agreed, happy to do the queen's pleasure. He went out through the kitchen, and spying the crust-end of a loaf, he took it with him and munched it along the way.

When he arrived at the henwife's shack, he asked if she had any new-laid eggs. The biddy winked and said, "Lift the lid off that pot there and tell me what you see."

The lad did so, but nothing happened. "There's no eggs in here," he told her.

"Hmmph!" the woman snorted. "Go home and tell your minnie she needs a better lock on her larder." (In the old days minnie was what a child called its mother.)

James returned empty-handed and gave the henwife's strange message to the queen. The queen understood that the lad had eaten something, so she watched more carefully the next morning, and sent him away with an empty stomach. But James saw some farm folk picking peas by the roadside. He stopped and chatted with them a while, took a handful of peas, and popped them in his mouth along the way.

When he came to the henwife's and asked for the eggs, she told him, "Lift the lid off that pot there and tell me what you see."

Again, James lifted the lid off the pot, but nothing happened. Again he told her, "No eggs in here!"

The henwife grew quite angry and said to the lad, "Tell your minnie that the pot won't boil if the fire's away!" So James went home and told the queen.

He also told William of all these goings-on, for the two had no secrets, and James was right puzzled by the henwife's anger. Neither of the lads could make heads or tails of it, so William decided to see for himself. Early the next morning he went and hid in the wood near the henwife's house.

The queen had had enough of these shenanigans, and the third day she accompanied James. This time, when he lifted the lid off the pot, with a paff! and a puff of smoke he changed from a handsome young man to a lovely young girl.

For the first time in his life, he was speechless. While he stood gaping, the queen laughed and said, "Now you're set, aren't you, my pretty young lady!" Then, still laughing, the queen took her leave, quite satisfied that her own son, William, would be the next king.

The whole time, William had been watching the henwife's house. He saw James and his mother enter together, but his mother left the house alone. In fact, James was still inside, struggling with his cumbersome garments and shuffling in his oversized boots while the henwife laughed six to the dozen.

William drew his sword and burst inside. The henwife was frightened, but she was not unprepared. When the lad shouted, "What have you done with James?" the henwife pointed to a trunk that lay beside the hearth. William threw the thing open. The moment he did, with a paff! and a puff of smoke, his own head vanished, and on jumped a sheep's head in its place.

William tried to speak, but all he could do was bleat and baah, so he held his tongue. He thought to himself, She saw fit to take *my* head, it's only fair that I take hers! and with a single stroke he severed the hag's head from her body.

Then he turned to the beautiful girl before him. James explained as best he could, while William carried on with grunts and signs.

They turned the cottage upside down, but though they found no remedy for their ills, they did find a dress and a pair of boots for the girl. They packed up what food and supplies were at hand, and off they went to seek their fortune together.

They traveled on and on, farther and farther from home, and no one ever did them a bit of harm, for if William was manly before, with his new head he looked a proper monster. People everywhere marvelled that the girl, who now called herself Kate, could travel with such a beast, and that she spoke so kindly and so well.

Wherever they went, folk were frightened to see them come, and sorry to see them leave.

They had many adventures and did no good person harm, and yet they found no place where their hearts felt at home.

They traveled on and on and on, until at last they came upon a castle.

Kate knocked at the door and asked for a night's lodging. They entered and found that the castle had a king. The king had a son and daughter, but the son was sick nigh unto death. No one could discover what ailed him. But the most curious thing was that whoever watched him at night was never seen again. The king offered a peck of silver to anyone who could stay with his sun until morning. Katie was a very brave girl, so she offered to stay.

Until midnight, all went well. As the twelfth stroke rang, however, the sick prince rose, dressed himself, and slipped downstairs. Kate followed, but he didn't seem to notice. The prince went to the stable, saddled his horse, called his hound, and jumped into the saddle. Kate lept up lightly behind him.

Away rode the prince with Kate through the greenwood. As they passed, Kate plucked nuts from the trees and filled her apron with them. They rode on and on until they came to a green hill. The prince drew up and said, "Open, open, green hill, and let the young prince in with his horse and his hound." Kate quickly added, "And his lady."

Immediately the green hill opened and they passed in. The prince entered a magnificent hall, brightly lighted up. Many beautiful fairies came forward. They surrounded the prince and led him off to dance. In the meanwhile, Kate slipped quietly from the horse and hid behind the door before anyone had seen her. From there she watched the prince dance and dance and dance, until he could dance no more and fell upon a couch. Then the fairies would fan him and wipe his brow until he would rise again and go on dancing.

At last the cock crowed, and the prince made all haste to get back on his horse. Kate jumped up behind him, and home they rode. When the morning sun rose, the king and the others came and found Kate, sitting by the fire cracking nuts. She told them that the prince had had a good night, but she would not sit a second night for less than a peck of gold.

The second night ran much the same as the first. The prince got up at midnight and rode off to the green hill and the fairy ball, and Kate went with him, gathering nuts as they rode through the forest. This time she did not watch the prince, for she knew that he would dance and dance. Instead she looked around the hall, and what did she see but a fairy baby playing with a stick. She heard another fairy say, "Look you now! The baby's gotten hold of a magic wand!"

A second fairy asked, "And what does that one do?"

The first replied, "Three strokes of that stick cures the sheep's head spell."

When the fairies moved on, Kate rolled nuts to the baby. She rolled the nuts and rolled them until the baby dropped the wand and grabbed at the nuts. Katie took the wand and tucked it in her apron.

At cockcrow they rode home as before, but this time, Kate held her hand over the prince's heart, and rested her head against his back.

The moment she got home, Kate rushed to touch William three times with the wand. The ugly sheep's head fell away, and William was his handsome self again.

The king came in to see his son and was astonished to find Kate still alive, cracking nuts by the fire as before. The prince looked at her and smiled. When the king asked if she would sit for yet another night, she agreed, but only if she could marry the prince.

That night, it all went on as before, but this time the fairy baby was playing with a little feathered thing. "What's that baby holding now?" one fairy asked. A second replied, "Ah, that wee small birdie? If the prince were to eat three bites of that thing, he'd be as well as he ever was, and better."

When the fairies moved on, Kate rolled her nuts to the baby, one by one, and this time she had to roll them all before the baby finally dropped the wee small birdie. Katie tucked the thing into her apron.

At cockcrow they set off home again, but this time instead of cracking nuts as she used to, Kate plucked the feathers off and cooked the little bird. Soon arose a very savory smell. "Oh!" the sick prince said, "I wish I had a bite of that birdie!" So Kate give him a bite, and he rose up on his elbow. By and by, he licked his lips and said, "Could I have another bite of that birdie?" She gave him another bite, and he sat up in his bed. Then he said, "Is any of that birdie left?" She gave him the third bite, and he stood up, feeling quite well. He dressed himself, and sat down by the fire with her.

When the king and the others came that morning, they found Kate and the prince cracking nuts by the fire together.

In the meantime, the prince's sister had fallen deeply in love with William and he with her.

So the son who used to be sick married the girl who used to be a boy, while his sister married the one who used to wear a sheep's head, and they all lived happy and died happy, the way people do in fairy tales.

© 2007 by Kaleigh Way