I didn't know where to Post this so I Decided to post as a BLOG Entry.

Disclaimer:- What I am about to write IS NOT intended to begin a discussion on the past or present state of mind of myself or anyone else mentioned below.

A HEART FELT PLEA .....

For the last five days I have been metaphoricaly battling with some of my own demons, demons I misakenly thought I had slain months ago, and delt with the guilt associated
with them.

About 8 years ago a very dear friend and I would get together once or twice a week and watch the NCIS and CSI nights on TV. 2 years previously I was diagnosed as being depressed, I might in my estimation add by a very poor GP who wrote a prescription for anti-depressants and also a free 2 month membership to a gym as he said I needed more exercise, at the time I was working in a factory due to the nature of the product the use of a powered forktruck was a big no no! Thus my main job was movement of the 1/4 and 1/2 ton pallets on a manual hydraulic pump truck, needless to say I was getting plenty of exercise. I digress.

These nights of watching Ncis and Csi led to some discussion between my friend and I about forensic science, then to write a story in that arena, I opted to take the planning of the prefect murder!

After some weeks had passed we exchanged notes, to see what each other thought of our ideas, I began to read my friends notes then offered a drink and went to get said drink, while the water was boiling my friend came through to the kitchen and made excuses and left. A short time later there was a knock on the front door.
My friend asked if I would like to go for a walk, after a 20 minute walk my friend and I were being shown into a rather nice lounge room.

So it transpired I had been taken to a therapist, the reason for this is I had indeed found more than 20 ways to commit a murder, and at least 2 ways of commiting the perfect murder.
{Towit every author knows, the victim dies and leaves almost no evidence of foul play and the murderer isn't prosecuted for the crime!}

After several weeks of biweekly trips to the therapist I was asked to read 3 photo copied sheets, what I read SCARED me, although at the time of writing my addled brain hadn't put the peices together, the murder I had planned was mine!!!!

My friend had by then saved me, and I'm eternaly greatful!!!

Fast forward to around this time last year, and several conversations that my dear friend and I had over the coures of a fortnight, what was said isn't as important how it was said and what wasn't said, to really understand what I just wrote you would have had to have known my freind!!!

I wish so much that I had taken more notice, of what was said, as soon after while I was away with a family member who is now in remission. Maybe my freind would still be here!!

Needless to say I fully undrstand the idiom 'IF' is the bigest word in the english language.

I know that it isn't my fault. that still doesn't change the guilt I feel to this day.

A HEART FELT PLEA .....

I Can't remember ever reading a story, or part thereof so many times in such a short period of time. Specificaly the last 1000 to 1500 words. including the Authors note....

Maybe I am letting my own experiences colour my interpretaion, but I have to at least try, I might be wrong then no harm done... but if I am guilty of anything now I believe I care too much.

The story in question was posted Sepember 3, by Light, Titled 'BROKEN'

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/46382/broken?page=1

I realise this was posted as a final offering to all and was a metaphoric goodbye to readers and authors [who are also readers] on BCTS..

After reading the quote below I had shivers running down my spine

'Those of you who have read a lot of my work will notice that this story is very unusual for me. It is written in first person and is also a tragedy, both of which are things I’ve never done. As with most of my writing, this is very much deliberate.'

I am not trying to upset anyone with this Post, I'm extremly worried about Light.