A personal history of Mutation, or How I spent my teen years. chapter 5.

Chapter 5 already! what has it been, a month? I'm on fire! Once again, standard disclaimers apply, I don't know you or the people you know, so any similarities are coincidence. In this chapter....the dreaded testing.

I knew something was drastically different the minute I woke. I had a dream I couldn't remember, a vague feeling of being chased relentlessly down various darkened halls. I woke, entangled in my blankets, a scream hanging on my lips...and realized my comforter was between my legs.

And it was alone there.

Now all through this mess, I'd been holding out hope...even after I'd been diagnosed, little Myrc had still been there, loud and proud so to speak. Throughout the shrinking, the hair growth in obvious and embarrassing places (aqua colored, of course), and the general lack of muscle, my little soldier had been there, through it all, as the only thing not changed. I'd realized this was going to happen, especially after last night, but so fast? Even though alone, I surreptitiously checked myself...pubic hair, vulva, labia, clitoris. Yep, brand new anatomy, over night.

I didn't realize I was hyperventilating until Jeeves was there, Holding me gently but firmly and whispering things to me I only half understood. OK, I lied, wasn't even sure what language he was speaking...but it helped.

"OK, enough, let go of me please."

"Are you sure mistress Min? you still seem troubled."

"I am, but it won't get any better if I continue to fly apart. So how can you tell that I still seem troubled?"

"A combination of observing your heart rate and facial expressions, mistress."

"You can recognize those?"

"Yes, you did the programming yourself, mistress. I am sure the memory will resurface when needed. Are you ready for breakfast? I have a wonderful plate of Belgian waffles downstairs."

"I think I need to shower first, and find something to wear; rather do that before anyone comes to check on me."

"Of course mistress, I have taken the liberty of altering your previous clothing in order to properly fit you. I shall bring you a set."

"You sew?"

"I do mistress, however sewing was not the proper skill to use to properly outfit you; I had to resort to a gift ARNEE sent for you, for just this purpose."

"A gift? That alters clothes? Want to tell me what it is?"

"I cannot mistress, It is not permitted; I can say however that it had finite use, and is therefore empty. You will recall eventually, after all, it is your creation."

"Oh, yes, I suppose you're right...."

"Mistress, your shower. You should make haste."

"Oh! Right,"

I'd been so caught up in thinking about possible devices to alter clothes that I'd been standing out in the hall half naked; what the hell was wrong with me? I bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door, almost leaping into the shower and flinging my stupid over sized shirt behind me.

However, it didn't take long to convince me to slow down. It took me awhile to wake up...much longer than normal; but once I did I realized my hair, my now fully eye matching aqua hair, was now down to my butt. Just yesterday, I had a boy cut. Sighing, I looked for the soap. Hmm, odd. No soap at all, nor the usual shampoo; instead there was some sort of lilac smelling body wash for sensitive skin, and shampoo conditioner for extra body, also smelling of lilac. Neither had ever been seen in this house before, I was sure. There was also a brand new pink body washing pom pom thing, whatever those are called.

A soft knock I barely heard sounded on the door.

"That you Jeeves?"

"Yes Mistress Min. I have your clothing."

"OK, come in."

"I'll just place them next to the door, it may not be considered proper."

"Just a moment Jeeves; did you change the soap and shampoo in the bathroom?"

"Of course mistress Min; the soap would have been harsh to your new skin, and the shampoo will be much better for the altered pH of your hair. Please do use the new ones."

"Could you please let me know of any other such changes you would like to make in the future?"

"Of course mistress Min."

With my only other choice to go out smelling like...well, no idea what that smell was, but it was unpleasant, I used the body wash and shampoo. After taking far far too long to wash my stupid hair, I dried (gently of course, I learn), and cracked the door open. Good, no one here. I grabbed the small pile and darted back inside.

Why that...It was a dress! A grey goth Lolita style with black accents and lace, just like I'd see in one of Ricky's dumb animes; gloves, stockings, matching bra and panties, even boots. Where did that defective android get the idea that girls dressed like this?!? I put them on, not having any option. Admittedly, the bra took a minute, but I quickly grasped the concept of just reversing it around my waist then pulling it around and up. The dress was actually trickier; it buttoned in the back. Not seeing any option to handle that hurdle, I gave in.

"Jeeves, are you close?"

"Yes mistress Min, do you need assistance?"

"I need buttoned up as you well know, and we need to talk."

"Of course, mistress Min; I assume you are 'decent'?"

"Yes, come in."

He entered and I turned away from him.

"So where did you get your sense of style from? Are you aware that this is not what most females wear?"

"Why no mistress Min, I was not. Some of my education was rather limited. I learned most of what I know through my internet access while being built. There are a prevalence of images from women dressed such as you are now there."

Epic face palm. My android butler, the cos-play fan.

"I'm sorry if they are not to your liking mistress Min. Could you tell me if you feel any discomfort from them? The material was specifically designed for your physiology."

"They feel very comfortable at the moment; very soft."

"Min?" My mother...sigh was hoping to get coffee before she saw me like this.

"Jeeves here thought that I needed new clothes, so he converted mine...apparently he has warped ideas of what girls wear."

I still wasn't used to looking up to her.

"I see...well odd as it is, it looks really good on you. But, you really need to dry your hair and brush it out, hair that long can get terrible tangles."

"I need coffee first, desperately."

"I'll take care of it mistress Min." Jeeves strode back into the bathroom while we went downstairs.

I had just finished my first cup of coffee and was eying those Belgian waffles, complete with strawberries and blueberries set on the side, when Jeeves came into the kitchen with mom's blow dryer and a pink brush I'd never seen before in hand. He plugged it in next to the coffeepot.

"Please turn around and eat mistress Min."

My mom's eyebrows were hitting the ceiling; I shrugged and turned around.

"What? I don't want to deal with it; I want waffles. Come on mom, he's eccentric as heck, but once I work the bugs out, I'm sure he will be awesome. He made waffles!" I shoved the plate (now half empty) her way.

She started eating them rather distractedly, downing coffee while Jeeves dried and brushed my hair. OK I admit it, it felt pleasant. Once he was done however, he fiddled with my hair some more, and bound it behind me somehow. Mom snorted.

"Eccentric, huh?"

"What? What did he do?"

"He just tied your hair back with a ribbon; bow and all."

I cursed, drawing a very dirty look from mom.

"I set him straight for now, but he doesn't know any better; lack of data on how girls dress. You still intend we shop today?"

"Right after we take you back to Dr. Halleck. Pretty sure you'll need clothes."

"Good, we can get Jeeves his data so I don't look any worse."

"Hah, actually the look suits you."

We were both surprised by the camera flash; I turned to see Ian sporting mothers' old Kodak, waving a photo in the air.

"Ian you little worm!"

"Ha, who you calling little sis? You're tiny! Blackmail material!!!! woo!" He ran as soon as I got up.

"damn it, I didn't have anything else to wear! Come back here!"

"Minerva Myrciel Campbell!" Dread froze me; no child ever wants to hear their entire name from their mother.

"That's twice Min...another time, and you're eating soap. Now sit down."

"But..!"

"No, you cursed. That's your punishment; deal with it."

I sulked, nursing another cup of coffee.

"What was all the yelling?"

"Good morning father."

Never had I seen a such a look on my fathers' face before. It looked almost like amazement, but there was a certain amount of poleaxed deer in headlights mixed into it too.

"Min, what in the world..."

"It was all I had to wear! Jeeves turned my clothes into stuff like this. Hopefully this will be the last day I look this stupid, as well as the first."

"And you yelling at Ian was because..."

"He took pictures, the jerk!"

He stared at me a moment, before his eyes narrowed to their normal size and he grinned.

"one for the album, then."

"Father! If he gives it to you destroy it, or no waffles for you."

"Oh, waffles? Who made them, they don't look like your mom's work. Don't tell me you're cooking now?"

I snorted. "As if, Jeeves made them, and they are quite delicious."

He looked to mother for confirmation, and of course she nodded.

"Well then don't mind if I do; thank you Jeeves."

"You're quite welcome sir."

He chowed down in usual Campbell style; I was mildly surprised that no food flew anywhere.

"So Min...forgive me for asking this but um...how close are you?" She made a surreptitious gesture towards my slightly open legs, which I rapidly closed.

"I think I finished this morning, to be honest. I'm not entirely sure about internally."

My father choked.

"You alright father?"

He recovered quickly, with a thump on the back from Jeeves.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just didn't think it would be so soon. It keeps sneaking up on me. Thanks again Jeeves."

"No problem Mr. Campbell."

"I'm sorry father."

He was hugging me again. How could all these people keep catching me by surprise like that?

"No Min, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant this is all so sudden, it's hard to adjust. It's my fault not yours."

"Sudden, and hard to adjust? You should try this side of things. Oh, to glaringly change the subject; I can fix the 'cuda to working condition if you want. I need to build something first, but I could possibly get it running in 3 days."

"No odd modifications? Just the basic car?"

"Of course, as you requested; just the engine, rebuilt to the original 1973 specifications."

"If you're sure."

"Absolutely; Ian get in here and eat these waffles before I do!"

The jerkbag in question slinked back into the kitchen like a whipped puppy. I wordlessly handed him the plate and my best glare. He dug in.

"We will be late Ian, I trust you can see yourself to school?"

"Mom, I'm not a baby."

"Sure you aren't. Well there is a plate in the fridge for dinner, but I don't expect us to be gone that long; if we are, I'll call."

"No problem, I'll be here."

"Ready Min? Let's leave these losers to do the dishes."

"I'm in! Run, before they get wise! Let's go Jeeves!"

I was out the door before they processed the words, and in the Durango before they could protest. By the time Mother joined me in front, Jeeves was in the back and I was surfing the web on my phone.

"Min, you jumped the gun a bit, I'd like you to go and get all those schematics you drew for X-ray's inspection, it could help. We are going to do a full powers testing if possible today."

"Jeeves, would you please go get them for me?" OK, so I didn't want to be bothered, I had an idea to use this web app to access my laptop from anywhere using the IP....

"Of course Mistress Min."

"What are you doing?"

"Oh I'm working on the phone's internet capabilities; I have an idea on how to access my laptop from the phone."

"You're programming on your phone?"

"Um, sure, shouldn't I be?"

"If you can, just try not to ruin either device..."

"Yes I know, I won't get another. I'll be good."

"Honey, can you look at me, please?"

I sighed and looked.

"It's very rude to not look me when I'm talking to you, try not to do it again, OK?"

"I'm sorry, mother, it's just, this program needs finishing. I didn't mean anything by it."

Jeeves came back with the requested documents and we both quieted, lost in our own worlds. I'd sneak glances every now and again, convinced she was angry. I hope I can make it up to her. Maybe if...

"Honey? Honey, we're here."

"Huh? Oh sorry, was thinking about stuff. Here already huh? Time flies I guess."

I saved the file on my phone and set it to vibrate, then realized I had no pockets to put it in.

"Jeeves, can you put this in your pocket for me?"

"Of course Mistress Min."

I looked around. Just excellent, everyone was giving me the hairy eyeball. Literally everyone was looking at me, some were even whispering and pointing! Stupid dress! I wanted to run or find a large coat to hide in or something.

"Steady Min, don't worry about them, you look fine."

"I wish I had a trench coat or something, they are all staring at me."

"It's OK, let them stare. You look great."

"Can we just hurry please?"

We suited actions to my words, and were soon in the hospital; however we had to wait in the waiting room for 15 torturous minutes. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs to get them to stop staring at me. Of course, that would be counter productive. Instead I just shrank into my seat and ignored the stares by reclaiming and continuing the work on my phone. Silly phone processor limited my options, but I wouldn't give up!

"Minerva Campbell?"

I looked up to see the nurse standing over me. Crap. Back to the real world. I got up to follow her, and she still towered over me; grrr. Of course she also had a few inches on mother; for some odd reason that made me feel better. Back into the office with the odd machinery again. It was still set up in the same corner as last week. X-ray, in the same beaten and slightly singed lab coat, (I think the singes were new), Dr. Halleck, and a woman who looked vaguely familiar, around Dr hallecks' age. She also towered over both Campbells present. Dr. Halleck started off.

"Morning, Minerva, is it now? You remember my wife Dorothy?"

I did, Dr. Dorothy Halleck, psychologist and general practitioner...a very smart lady as I recalled. She handled all the female clientele of the Halleck practice.

"I do now, good morning, and how are you, DR's Halleck?"

"We are both well dear, thank you for asking. So, for the million dollar question; how are you?"

I sent a rather pointed look at their resident geek.

"I'd be a lot better if everyone would stop staring. This was all I had to wear here, quit gawking already!"

X-ray snapped out of it and wilted under my glare.

"Sorry Minerva, but you just caught me by surprise is all."

"Never mind him dear, he's an idiot. So lets get started shall we? We have a long day ahead. I'll help you get ready for the machine; everyone else, kindly get out."

I liked her already.

"Not quite yet; everyone, this is Jeeves. Jeeves, Dr. Emmanuel Halleck, his wife Dorothy Halleck, and X-ray, a devisor friend of theirs."

"Pleased to meet you Jeeves, I hate to be abrupt, but we need to get things done. They can get acquainted outside."

"It is no problem at all ma'am; as always Mistress Min, I will be within vocal range."

Once the door shut Dorothy motioned for me to undress, helping me with the buttons.

"Mistress Min? What is all that about?"

"Jeeves is a butler of sorts, I made him. He's a bit buggy but he means well."

So there might have been a bit of pride in my voice. I defy anyone to not be proud of building their very own android, no matter how buggy!

"hmm, is that so? What bugs have you noticed?" She asked as she started placing leads on me; I in the meantime put on a handy hospital gown.

"Well he is the one who converted all my clothes to this goth Lolita crap. Apparently he didn't have enough data on current fashions to know what a t-shirt and jeans were."

"Is that so? Well seems like an easy fix to make."

"Yes, I'm hopeful. He accepts my orders without question though, which is nice."

"Always is nice to find such loyalty in anything. Here, drink this; can't have you moving while in the machine, and you are pretty chipper."

I took it with trepidation; Sleeping all the time was getting old.

"Don't worry, It only lasts for an hour, maybe a bit longer for you. It's based on body weight."

Shaking the concern off, I downed the drug and climbed in. I wasn't entirely trusting however.

"Jeeves, please come back inside and watch over me."

The door opened.

"I am here Mistress Min."

"Good. Try to make sure X-ray doesn't take any nude pictures. Silly pedo bear."

"I will break him if he tries, mistress Min."

"Good." And I was out like the proverbial light.

I came out of it to all at once, with none of the grogginess one usually associates with anesthetics.

"Safe to come out?"

"One moment Mistress Min."

I heard miscellaneous noises one expects to hear if a bunch of people shuffle out of a room.

"It's safe now, dear. One last thing has to happen before we go on to the next phase. By the way, call me Dorothy, I'd prefer it."

I crawled out to see that the doctors' examination bed had some sort of metal devices attached at the end, with straps. It looked like a medieval torture device.

"Um, no thanks, not into that sort of thing?"

"It's just a routine gynecological exam dear, nothing to be afraid of. I do this for your mother all the time."

"Just exactly what do you intend to do?"

"Dear...get up there. This needs to happen."

I wilted under her no nonsense tone. Sigh, the voice of authority. To take my mind off what I assumed was going to happen, I started asking questions.

"So, did X-ray say what the verdict was?"

"You appear to be healthy, aside from a rather severe form of anemia, for which you'll be receiving medication. We also suspect your eyes to be a little weak. We will be checking that shortly."

"Anything else I should know?"

"Yes. You're really not going to like this part."

I didn't.

After an exceedingly long time frame; possibly the longest minutes of my life,I was led by Dorothy down a hall to a nondescript elevator, taken down to a rather modern looking reinforced dungeon, and forced to wear some weird black body suit that had some sensors pasted on the outside and a fanny battery pack. I was of course subjected to the most inane small talk imaginable all the while; most of which I ignored or responded to in grunts and head shakes. I think I could almost prefer the dress, as while everything was covered I felt more exposed. I was then led to a largish room where there appeared to be an obstacle course set up. My mother and X-ray were nowhere to be found.

"So I feel the urge to make cat noises and steal valuable shiny things. Anyone else? Is there a tail on this stupid suit?"

"Yes, we know, no one actually likes those things,' Dr. Halleck responded. 'However they are necessary, as the suit monitors pulse, respiration, nervous system, and a few other bodily functions...as well as provides a small measure of protection."

"I need protection for this?"

He handed me a bike helmet. I handed him a glare.

"Where is my mother?"

"Talking over the machine results with X-ray. Take your position at the tape there. Ready?" He held up a stopwatch.

Sigh, today sucks. I nodded. At least I still had Jeeves watching over me.

"Go!"

The first part of the obstacle course was easy; standard basic training fare, and while I never played either sport, I knew the drill. Through the tires, under the bar, through the fake log, over the standalone wall, which was the first true obstacle. It took me two tries to get over that stupid wall, since I couldn't just jump and catch the top, and climbing the rope provided was difficult with noodle arms. The balance beam went a bit better, since even though it was a mere 5 centimeters across and 10 meters long, (roughly) I had no problem running across it.

Then I saw, in the last 3 steps of beam, the true horror. Another mini wall right at the end, with monkey bars on the other side. My mind kicked in, considering and discarding possibilities, and in the next step I decided to try something I never would have before. Before I would have simply slammed into the wall and then climbed over it...but slamming into something, especially chest first, proved a lot more painful recently. So I used the last step to twist and flip over the wall, rolling on top of it briefly before landing on top of the first bar, and running across. The next little hurdle, were hurdles.

I dropped off the last bar, twisted in mid air, and let my hands grab it on the way down to slow my descent, twisting again and sprinting. The first few hurdles were small, barely a jump at all, and I cleared those easily. The next several added height, a few centimeters at a time, till no matter what I did I couldn't clear them.

"Bypass them Min."

Next up was a simple long jump in a sand pit. Pretty obvious, and I wasted no time. I jumped, right foot leading, hit the sand and dug in, and promptly fell forward on my hands. Getting up I saw all these weaving boxing (speed?) bags, with a line in between them. I weaved between them with ease; being able to judge their arc was nice. I did not think about how much space there was between them relative to how much I would have had a week ago.

Now as anyone who has played baseball knows...a pneumatic pitching machine makes a distinctive sound; the load up and whirr before a pitch heads your way haunts many a players' nightmares. So when I heard that clunk and whirr I instantly dropped. I heard the ball sail through the space my head had occupied, and hit the wall before bouncing back at me; too much bounce for a baseball....

"What the hell?!?"

"Sorry Min, last part of the test. We have to know if you're precognitive, and that is the best way to test for it."

"I could have been hurt, you know; pretty sure my skull isn't super dense."

"Now you know why I insisted on the helmet. I'm sure you've already guessed, but that was a tennis ball. No real damage could be incurred. This way."

He led the way to the a door in back, Jeeves bringing up the rear.

I gave him another fish eye when he opened the door, motioned me through, and said: "Ladies first."

Dr. Halleck didn't annoy me that much, usually. Was he trying to?

I went through the door and it slammed behind me; It was armored on this side. I could hear both Jeeves and Dr. Halleck yell my name from the other side, and a faint pounding.

"Halt, mutant." You have got to be kidding me.

A 3 meter or so tall robot, looking vaguely like a walking marvel copyright infringement, unfolded itself from a niche in the hall and turned it's stupid looking head towards me. An intercom next to the door crackled.

"Min?!? Min! Somehow the security system activated, we can't get to you! You'll have to get the door open!"

"I think I'm going to be busy, Dr. Halleck." I responded, not sure he could hear me, keeping my eye on the bargain basement toys R us reject.

"The attack robot is on? Oh that's not good. listen Min it's set to kill intruders, you need to focus on opening the door, then i can shut it down through voice command!"

"not really an option at the moment."

All during our discussion the robot (and I use the term loosely) was getting closer. I could see the slightly armored power cable leading into the wall; hmm, a possibility...

The robot of course, had a laser; they always do. It popped out of it's arm, and that arm of course swung my way. The laser was of course too low powered to burn through the door. I had another idea while I dodged under it; sheesh was it slow! The servos running this thing made it seem like those manufacturing machines they now use to make cars.

"Hey Dr. Halleck, you still there?"

"Yes Min, you OK? Can you open the door?"

"Can you try your voice command through the intercom?"

"Yes of course! Sentinel, stop!" No lie...he actually called it a sentinel. I'd be laughing if it wasn't so serious. The trash receptacle did not stop however, instead taking a glacial aim again.

"You'll have to modulate your voice Dr. Halleck, the intercom is muffling it."

Hmm, speaking of glacial, what was cooling that laser? it wasn't a pulse model, and that coolant did not look like argon...

While Dr. Halleck cycled through different tones in an increasingly hysterical and ineffectual manner, I launched myself forward and wrapped myself onto the arm with the laser on it. I'd have to time this perfectly....As expected, the terribly slow robot threw an equally slow punch, which I avoided by simply dropping off its other arm. I took a kick for my trouble, getting me out of the danger zone for what happened next. The two broken ribs were a small price to pay.

I had made it punch it's own laser, rupturing the nitrogen gas coolant tank and causing that arm to freeze and break off. This also had the added benefit of exposing the wiring leading into the torso. Heavy gauge copper, of course; I can work with that. I charged again, leaping up remnants of the punching arm as it came at me again, showering me with shards of brittle alloy. I dropped around to the other side, grabbing onto the head while going fishing into the robots' shoulder with the other.

With the punching arm too short to get to me, the sentinel resorted to trying to fling me off by swinging around. I flew of course; weighing nothing at all, but not before I had twisted two crucial wires together...the power leads to the laser. This in turn shorted out the transformer in the torso that was being used to convert the power from the cable in the wall. I slammed into the wall, both stars and electricity dancing in my vision as the robot finally decided to shut down.

Shaking it off, I went to the door. A simple enough bypass, once I got the hatch off...I could have likely done it before the robot shot at me. If I hadn't been pissed off about the obvious set up.

"Min, are you OK?!?"

"Dr Halleck, I am less than happy with you right now."

Jeeves almost shoved Dr. Halleck aside in order to reach me, slipping an arm under mine and shooting lab coated Judas a glare even worse than mine. His tone to me though, was tender.

"You're hurt; two broken ribs, a mild concussion, and a torn right deltoid. Should I carry you?"

"No, I can walk, but I won't turn down some help. you should see the other guy." I pointed behind me.

The good Doctor was already looking at the mess, shock and on his face.

"You..broke him. No, worse, you totally trashed him! All you had to do was bypass the door and I could have shut him off!"

"Don't lie to me, Dr. Halleck, you could have shut him off any time. A more obvious set up you couldn't have made. Yes I broke him, and I'd do it again. If you had just told me about this, I would have done as you asked. I detest being lied to."

"The test was check you for devisor talent strength; it usually takes a high talent as a devisor to crack that door. You just displayed both the talents we are testing for however, for only a high level gadgeteer could think of a way to disable the sentinel so quickly as well. Which means the last test won't be necessary."

"What was the last test?"

"Disarming a nuclear device."

"...What? You have a nuke here?"

"A fake one, of course. The simulations must be as real as possible to encourage people to take them seriously."

"Of course."

We reached the end of the hall, through a room where a miniature fat boy was located. Dr. Halleck passed it without so much as a glance. At the other end we entered a control room of sorts, and I entered my mother's crushing hug.

"Oh thank god you're OK!"

"Mother...Ribs."

"Ohmigod I'm so sorry! Are they broken?"

"I'll heal, I regenerate, remember?"

I looked past her to Dorothy and X-ray, spotting two people I didn't know behind them both. The first was a kind of grungy looking guy with a 5 o clock shadow, dirty blonde hair, and a weather beaten face. Perhaps 5 ft 10 in and medium build, currently fiddling with a zippo lighter. The second, was a bit over 6 ft, and pretty much a wall of muscle, reminding me quite a bit of my father save for his skin and hair color; both a rather nice dark mocha shade. He was wearing a pinstriped suit a few shades lighter than the first.

"So what's the verdict? do I pass? And who are the suits?"

They took their cue.

"Hello Ms. Campbell, I'm agent Leonard Sands, Mutant Commission Office. I'm a friend of X-ray's he brought in for this case."

"I'm Terrance Douglas, Central Intelligence Agency, and a friend of your family." They both flashed badges at me.

"Mother, they telling the truth?"

"Yes honey, they both are, I've known Terrence since your father served with him, and I know of Mr. Sands...he has a bit of a rebel reputation for the M.C.O.

"What she means is, in almost 30 cases since I started working for the M.C.O., not a single mutant I've been assigned to watch and evaluate has ever disappeared under mysterious circumstances."

"Bet that makes your superiors happy. So, my results?"

X-ray took over while I watched the suits and tried to look menacing; I knew I failed when they both gave me reassuring seeming smiles, both of which seemed mildly creepy. Jeeves moved a bit in front of me.

"Devisor 5, Gadgeteer 5,regen 2 EX 3; limited. You're the classic mad scientist type, you can build most anything, modify most anything, and happen to be very intelligent. The EX stands for Exemplar, it's basically a fancy way of saying you're superhuman in some way. In your case, it's your intelligence, memory, and your agility. You are fairly fast and agile, perhaps even olympic levels, and your muscles are extremely efficient."

"But not nearly enough muscle there to make a good difference...That's it? no flying, or eye beams, or mind bullets? Sheesh, All I really got was the compulsion to take things apart and a medical condition?"

Dang, me and Ralph had much more in common than I thought!

"It's not as bad as all that, devisors can do many amazing things." I rolled my eyes.

"sure like build giant walking cliches to torment people with. I'm so glad I broke your toy."

"How did you know I built it?"

"Oh come on, it has your signature all over it. Deny it if you can."

If he didn't know how easy it was to spot his silly tech, I wasn't going to tell him.

"I won't deny it, but I will ask why you found it necessary to completely destroy him rather than simply open the door."

"Your obvious set up pissed me off; so you pay in nerd tears, mothers' friend or not. By the way mother dear, they couldn't have set me up without your help...so I owe you one."

"I won't deny it honey, I'm sorry. It really is the only way to find out what you're capable of. Just please be gentler on me than I was on you."

"Ahem, well I hate to interrupt but, could you stand up straight?"

I stood up looking warily at X-ray, who had an odd looking box with a lens in front and a plastic card hanging out of the right side. A flash later and I was blinking my eyes.

"There you go, one state ID complete with picture, made to order."

"There is one last thing,' Leonard interrupted. 'all these files are going to be stored in both the CIA and MCO databases. We are your buffers to both agencies, everything will come and go through us. In order to ensure this, it's tradition that all files be given a nickname, such as Champion or X-ray here."

"A superhero moniker huh?"

"Something like that. You don't have to pick right away..."

"Mneme."

"Huh?"

I shrugged.

"Mneme, pronounced neem...the muse of memory and knowledge. I read it somewhere. It's rather esoteric, so I doubt that it's taken by anyone."

"Uh..OK. Noted, and now the papers are processed. Now I don't normally do this, but I'm going to explain what it is I do. It's my job as a field agent to watch newly emerging mutants for any signs of going off the rails...insanity, rampant criminal behavior, etcetera. So if you build a machine to run around killing people or make a giant laser to carve your name into the moon, I'll be right there to stop you; understood?"

"Absolutely, since I have no desire to do any of those things, I should never see you again, right?"

"Err, not quite, I'll be checking up on you quite often, perhaps even following you around some."

"Don't worry, kid;' Terrence interrupted. 'my job is to watch Leonard here; any shenanigans and I'll disappear him. I or my partner, who couldn't be here today, will be pretty much following you all the time, for your protection. wouldn't do to let a Campbell fall to a bad end."

"Mr. Douglas, that would be so much more reassuring if you didn't work for the CIA...but I'll take what I can get."

Dorothy spoke up.

"alright dear, let's get you cleaned up, the showers are this way, and I have your clothes waiting."

"Good, can't wait to get out of this stupid thing."

Jeeves followed us down the hall, of course, and I don't blame his lack of trust. Once out of earshot, Dorothy slowly leaned towards me and whispered:

"Just one more thing dear, I know you're doing the best you can, but take my card. Program the number into your phone, and if you want to, for any reason at all, even if it's just to talk, call me. It can help. I have to go for now, but I hope to hear from you soon. Be well."

"I will Dorothy, thanks."

Once I showered again, (Sheesh can that stupid suit make one sweat!) I followed the rather convenient signs back to the elevator, Jeeves in tow; I found mother waiting for me.

"So we're done here?"

"Yes honey, all done, now we can go shopping, unless you'd rather put it off?"

"No, lets just do it now, I'd rather get it done and over with." Seriously, this crap was cutting into the time I needed to build the 3D printer!

"How do you feel?"

"Tired and annoyed of course. My right side and head aches."

"I'll try and curb the natural instincts then. This shouldn't take more than a few hours."

A few hours? What the hell?!?

"Lets just check the measurements...let's see...."

Mother started shuffling through the pamphlet that X-ray had no doubt handed her.

"And the verdict is...weighing in at 95.8 pounds, as a 32c 20 32."

The facial tic under her right eye was new.

"Mother, you alright?"

"Min, do you know what those measurements mean?"

I took a shot in the dark.

"I'm really, really tiny?"

She shook her head and muttered something that sounded less than clean. I tried hard not to listen. No idea what she was on about.

At the door leading to blessed, blessed freedom, X-ray crouched like a four eyed gargoyle, waiting to pounce on the unwary. He had a bundle in his hands.

"I almost forgot something Min. Here, these are for you. Got to run, need to make another test robot. Don't be a stranger Mary."

The bundle turned out to be a light grey lab coat much like X-ray's, with many pockets and in my size, perhaps a trifle large. The second part was a small case in which a pair of thick lensed glasses with pale rose frames rested. I managed to make it till X-ray rounded the corner before bursting into tears.

"Honey what's wrong?" mother didn't quite hug me, no doubt fearing to aggravate my ribs. Jeeves crowded the other side.

"I'm fine mother, sorry...just kind of hit me again all at once."

How could I explain to her what those glasses and coat represented? In less than a week I had gone from all around cool guy (at least I thought I was)to useless nerd girl. So far the only thing useful to come out of this entire mess was Jeeves, and even he had bugs! Ugh, suck it up, 'min', tears are pointless. Life sucks and you deal. I pondered that statement while being helped into the Durango and all through the trip to the mall. Why did life have to suck? Could I at least save Ian from this, assuming he needed to be saved? What about any other people?

"Min, we're here." She reached over and stopped me, using a tissue to wipe my face before letting me go. Jeeves helped me out of the Durango before I could so much as swing my feet out.

"You plan on hovering like this all day?"

"Of course mistress Min. I'd also like to apologize for not stopping the incident at the hospital; I will not be so derelict in my duties again."

"It's fine, mother was right, it needed to happen. It was my own fault for not doing the expected. I will relish the look of utter desolation on X-ray's face though. No offense mother, but X-ray seems like a jerk."

"He can be; he has a tendency to miss the trees for the forest sometimes. Come on, in here."

I looked, to see the most dreaded of all stores...the Gap. At least we were an hour away from home; not very likely anyone would see me go in there, if they did I'd never live it down!

My slight hesitation had cost me, as while Jeeves had stopped when I had, mother was already inside grabbing clothes seemingly at random. If I didn't stop her, I'd have more clothes I'd never want to wear. Shaking my head at her, I started grabbing subdued shirts and jeans, noting the measurements.

"you'll have to try all of them on honey."

"What? Why? The measurements are proper."

"Not all female clothes are made the same; what is the right size for one isnt the right size for another. Besides, you really should be looking for petite."

She pointed at the stack of shirts I'd picked up. I meanwhile, was vaguely put off by her two armfuls of clothing.

"Alright, so I need to try all of this on?"

"Yep. The changing rooms are that way, and be sure to come out after each change so I can judge."

"Sigh."

Two hours and 3 shops later, Jeeves was carrying four bags stuffed to their respective brims with clothes, and mother was showing no signs of stopping.

"Mother, please...we both need food by this point."

She snapped out of her daze for a moment. Sheesh I hope I never get like that.

"You're right, your pick at the food court."

"Pizza of course, and in copious amounts."

By this time I was almost used to the stares...not. but I was doing my best to ignore them. The absolute creepiest were the old men...guys 30, 40 years old staring at me; one of them even licked his lips! I wasn't a steak! Though he might be a pedo bear....

"Min, what's the matter?"

"I should have changed out of the dress while shopping; I'm still getting all these creepy stares."

She shook her head and muttered again.

"Min, you know I love you right? About some things, you are completely clueless and I have no idea how that happened."

"Like what?"

"Oh no, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you; more fun this way."

"...Whatever; Jeeves do you understand what she's talking about?"

"I am not at liberty to say mistress Min."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Why not?"

"I'm not at liberty to say why I'm not at liberty to say mistress Min."

Buggy piece of....

"That reminds me, how is your power state? You aren't low at all? You've been active quite awhile."

"I am at 64% capacity mistress Min, thank you for your concern. I shoud be able to maintain operational capacity for another 73.21 hours with this charge."

"Wow, I need to take a look at how I built your power supply. Magnetic capacitor isn't it?"

"In part. It is a double system consisting of a magnetic capacitor and electromagnetic motor."

"Hmm... I brought out my phone and started one of the apps I made.

"Min...finish your pizza, we have a few more places to go."

"Argh. Alright mother. Let's finish this torture, I have things to do."

"Torture is it? Heh he heh...just one last place to go."

We finished and she led me to Victoria's Secret.

"seriously?"

"You're allowed, being one of us. Stop forgetting."

She grabbed my arm and led me to a section with what were titled 'french cut panties', found my size and grabbed a few different packs in varied colors.

"Stay here."

That raised my eyebrows, and my hackles. But put I stayed.

She came back quickly enough, more packages in her hands.

"So what did you get?"

"Bras for the both of us, of course." She held them up...pretty innocuous, no frills types with colors matching the panties.

"This required me to stand here?"

"Jeeves would have been pretty out of place, you did make him to look male.

"Oh, true, true. So can we leave? I'm getting tired all of a sudden."

"Well I kinda lied; one more stop to go, but you can sit down at the food court and wait for me, I won't be long."

I sat and watched, Jeeves standing next to me.

"You can sit down you know."

"I think I'd rather stand close mistress Min, if you feel unwell."

"Alright, your call."

It was 20 minutes of people watching and a steadily increasing unease, before mother returned with a GNC bag.

"let me guess; iron?"

"Yep, iron, a few other new essentials for you."

I tried to stand up, weaving into Jeeves. He steadied me, and we walked out. Mother was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't really hear her; I was a bit busy trying not to pass out. Jeeves had to bundle me into the car.

"You still with us, Min?"

It took me some time to process the question, and I nodded in response. Sooo tired, too tired to speak. Jeeves let the seat back and hovered in my vision as I drifted off during the ride home.

"Min? Can you wake up Min?

I was sure I made some sort of noise; it was supposed to be a yes, but I felt like i was swimming in molasses. And then I was floating from the Durango to the house. I looked up into Jeeves' blue eyes as he looked down and smiled at me.

"It's alright mistress Min, I have you. Into the bed we go, to sleep, perchance to dream."

I drifted off peacefully, secure in the knowledge that Jeeves would be there.



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