The Night part 1

The rain pounded against the window and the tree outside scratched the pain with the force of the wind it wasn’t too late like 7:oo pm and Johnny’s mom was supposed to be home from work for at least three more hours and his dad was out of town on a business trip. Johnny had the small desk lamp on for some light to see but he didn’t want the room light on incase the neighbors were watching he knew that the neighborhood was full of gossips! He was standing in front of the mirror in his parent’s room looking at himself knowing he must be doing something wrong but he felt so much more comfortable when he was wearing his mother’s clothes, today he had chosen a black one-piece mini, black seamed thigh highs, his moms 3 inch heels. The shoes were a little big but they fit well enough for the short amount of time he would get to play. As he was studying his reflection looking at his 5’ 10” frame he couldn’t but help to wish that he didn’t get any taller and his 115 pounds was plenty as far he was concerned. His shoulder length hair was full and thick with some natural curl that some of the girls he went to school with he knew they were jealous. His dad was always screaming for him to get a haircut and his mom would say “Johnny do you want me to start calling you Jasmine”? Johnny would automatically tell her “NO” but inside he was screaming “YES finally” but he never told anyone his secret, so he lived in mental pain and agony as a boy. Seeing the reflection made him realize that he was and always had been a girl but there was something missing? Ah make up he’d never tried before but tonight “hey why not” I’m going all the way; he had watched his mom several times so he had an idea of what to do. He smiled as looking in his mom’s makeup kits. Choosing a light colored foundation, a blue eye shadow to bring out the green in his eyes and black eyeliner to improve their shape. Having to redo his eyes several times he started to get the hang of it and finally they looked ok, picking up a red lip stick and applying it almost perfectly, a little blush and the look was complete in the mirror looked to be a 17 year old girl instead of the 16 yr. old boy he was delighted with how Jasmine looked!

The tree smacked the window with such force that it broke and Jasmine swore that at that moment the rain lighting and thunder picked up and the room was getting soaked. Running well not as fast as he could because have you ever tried to run in 3” heels wow they are hard to move in but she loved the way they made her body swish anyways, down the stairs to the kitchen and threw the basement door she found the old boxes they had stored there, grabbing one and stopping in the kitchen for some tape she headed for the hamper on her way back upstairs she grabbed a towel and ran back to the window. Taping the card board over the broken part of the window she used the towel to mop up the rain water, doing so she knocked the lamp off the desk and it shattered on the hard wood floor, sending the room into total blackness oh damn mom’s gonna be so pissed when she gets home! Suddenly the lighting popped right in front of the window filling the room with an eerily bright light it only lasted seconds but he saw the dark shadow in the door way seconds before the bedroom light flicked on. There standing in the door frame was his mother “oh shit” exclaimed Johnny as he stared at his mom and she stared back at him, he had lost track of time and now he was in it way deep he just knew he was dead.

Shirley stood open mouthed at the figure next to the window, she was so shocked to see a girl standing there instead of her son and then when she looked closer she saw that it was her son she went from shock to anger to confused all in about 30 seconds. Not knowing what to say she only said what popped into her head at the moment “you better get out of those wet clothes and get cleaned up and ready for bed then come downstairs to the living room evidently we have the need for a serious conversation”, Turning on her heel she went downstairs for a cup of coffee her head was beginning to hurt.

Johnny stood his face doing the goldfish look all he could think was oh boy I’m so dead. Finally he shook the shock of his mom from his mind and went next door to his room and got out of the wet clothes, going to the bathroom he washed his face, putting on sweats and a t-shirt he headed downstairs putting his moms wet clothes in the hamper as he went.

Shirley was sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for her son to come down to talk, oh my god what do I say how should I handle this, did we do something wrong as parents, is he gay? Is it a sexual fetish? Even as these thought entered her head she knew that she had to remain calm and not get mean or mad for if she did Johnny was sure to clam up and not say what was really going on. Damn what would she tell Kent, Johnny’s father he would be sure to blow a gasket. She heard the floor creak from above and said “Johnny its ok I’m not going to scream at you, but I do need to know what’s going on”!

Standing on the first stair Johnny heard his mom call, she seemed calm not ready to eat him for lunch maybe this would be ok and he could just say he’d never do it again and that he was sorry and that would be the end of it, I mean it’s not like I broke the window although he had broken the lamp he need to make sure he said he was sorry for that to! Walking into the living room his mom looked up at him and patted the couch next to her, he sat about as rigid and tense as could be, his mom seeing the fear and tension on her sons face and feeling how he sat down she slid next to him and grabbed him a tight hug, holding him tight like she used to when he was a little boy she was wiping tears from her eyes as she remembered when Johnny had first told her he was too big and old for hugs and tonight he never flinched instead he returned the hug just as tight. Slowly they separated a bit and his mom looked him right in the eye and said
“um you still have eyeliner and mascara on”

“oh I’m sorry mom I’ll go fix that” he went to get up she grabbed his arm “it’s ok later you can, right now I think we need to talk”. “Look mom I’m sorry I’ll never do it again can we just forget it ever happened”?

“No Johnny we can’t, by your appearance tonight I’m guessing that tonight was not the first time you have done this, is it”? “You looked very good it took me a minute to recognize you”.

Johnny blushed, “your right mom, if I tell you promise you won’t be mad, call me a freak or hate me”?

“Johnny if I was going to be mad I’d be screaming right now, don’t you think”? Johnny nodded. “Look I have some questions, you answer them and then you can tell me what’s really going on ok”! Nodding again Johnny let out a slow breath still waiting for the hammer to fall. “Ok first of all what happened to the window and the lamp”?

A little taken aback by the question he shrugged and smiled, “the tree broke the window because of the storm and I broke the lamp cleaning up the mess”.

“Well I’m glad you were home to fix the window that could have been a real mess”. “Now how long has this been going on, the dressing and makeup”?

“I’m sorry mom,” taking a breath and slowly exhaling he jumped into his answer. “I’ve been dressing in your clothes for years, at least every chance I get, at least five years, tonight was the first time I tried makeup I always thought you would notice before”.

“So why try the makeup tonight”? “It’s Friday and I could sleep in tomorrow so I felt I could really get it off and you wouldn’t see”. “Ok, so are you gay? Is this a sexual thing”?

Ah, he should have been anticipating this question. “I don’t think I’m gay cause guys don’t do that for me, but I did get an arousal from it when I first started but like tonight I just feel so alive and free and it seems like it’s a part of me that wants to be out and free”.

“I see”, not really understanding but not wanting to sound like she didn’t understand the whole thing, thinking boys are born with a penis and girls with a vagina how could a boy feel like they were a girl? “Well, I need to think about this some more and I’ll tell you what I think tomorrow, so off to bed”! “Um mom we don’t have to tell dad do we”? “I don’t know yet we will have to see”.

Getting up to his room, the storm still going on outside making Johnny think that’s how my insides feel, and I’ll never get to sleep. Climbing into bed it was a matter of a minute before he was lightly snoring. Climbing the stairs Shirley opened her son’s door to check on him, she had done it ever since he was born and she wouldn’t stop now. Looking at her son she saw the peace in which he slept and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was the dressing that had made her son feel at piece inside.

Lying in bed she ran the nights events through her head, one thing for certain she couldn’t tell Kent he would freak and want their son examined in a mental hospital or worse he would try to beat it out of Johnny and she knew that would only make things worse. She had always wanted a daughter but it wasn’t in her cards and they were fortunate to get Johnny at all. Something was wrong with her plumbing and when Johnny was born they had to do a hysterectomy. Thinking of Johnny she thought back on his child hood, he had always been so happy playing with the neighbor kids and with her and Kent, but as he got older she remembered him mostly playing with the girls of the neighborhood the boys were few and far between so that’s what she thought it was, as he got into school it changed as he made a few friends that were boys doing the sleep over thing, camping and fishing. He was a boy scout he loved to go with his dad hunting and out riding horses when Kent could he was always so busy, Johnny played basketball and baseball clear until high school when not having any more fun he stopped but he had joined the track team and played football so he was all boy right? He had a girlfriend, oh shit did she know? God that could destroy him if his dressing as a girl got out. She decided to sleep on it and hopefully have some ideas in the morning.

Johnny was sleeping peaceful and having a great dream of being at peace with himself and knowing he was a girl it didn’t matter he had been born in the wrong body it could be fixed he knew he looked online computers were so cool, he was dressed in the same clothes from earlier tonight looking at stuff on the internet chatting with some friends online that were like him when the door burst open and there stood his father looking like the devil he had red eyes and he was screaming at the top of his lungs “No kid of mine is gonna be a pansy ass faggot and he was gonna beat this shit out of him”! his father walked in and proceeded to punch him in the body, the face and finally he ripped all the clothes off of him, Johnny was on the floor and Kent kept at it only kicking him in the ribs and head as his hands were sore from the punches. Moments later Shirley ran in to see what was going on she found Johnny on the floor shivering, crying and just plain scared when she was able to calm him down Johnny realized it was just a nightmare, he felt embarrassed about having woke his mom and for having a nightmare he was too old for those. Regaining his composure he said “sorry mom, didn’t mean to wake you it was just a stupid dream, what’s the matter with me”? Whispering to him “Nothing’s wrong with you we all have bad dreams its ok lay down and go back to sleep”.

Laying back down he fell into a restless sleep, waking up with a start he looked over at the clock wow 6:00 am he never got up this early, oh well might as well get going, getting up he went into the bathroom got into the shower and as the water started to beat the tension from his body he couldn’t help but to wonder how it would feel if he had real breasts? He looked down at his deformity and began to get depressed, quickly getting washed he rinsed off and got dried off. Going back into his room he got dressed in the normal boy clothes black t shirt and a pair of blue jeans, he hated how rough guy clothes were to the smoothness of his moms from last night. Slipping on his tennis shoes he went down stairs, he would make breakfast his mom would be up soon and she would appreciate the gesture.

Going into the kitchen he started the coffee, and looked into the fridge for the eggs, ham, bacon and some eggs, he couldn’t make much but he could do omelets! He was just whipping the eggs and adding the meats when his mom came down for her coffee he handed her a cup. Surprised that he was up let alone cooking she hesitated to take the cup, seeing the hesitation Johnny looked at the floor set the cup down was about to head out the back door at a dead run
when his mom reached his arm, “Johnny I’m sorry it has nothing to with last night I was just shocked to see you up and cooking, she giggled your never up before ten”!
Looking up at his mom seeing the way she looked at him he understood what she meant, “I thought I would do something nice for you since you didn’t kill me last night”. “Well thank you, but I was never going to kill you”. “Your father on the other hand just might”.

“Oh shit you’re going to tell him”? “No honey, I think that he doesn’t need to know, but you need to promise to stop doing this because I believe that the outcome could be devastating for you and us”. “Ok mom, you are the only one that knows and I know I won’t say anything”. God I hope I can, thought Johnny but I’m going to try hard to keep mom happy.

It being Saturday Johnny went upstairs and called his girlfriend, “Hi Julie what are your plans for today”? “Let’s go shopping and to the afternoon movie”. “Sounds good to me, I’ll be over in a moment”. He loved going shopping with Julie she was gorgeous and loved to try on lots of clothes and he got to see her in them and wonder how he would look in them, god her in a bra and panty set sent him into orbit, oh he would pretend just enough that she didn’t wonder if there was something up.

He went out and got into his older 90’s black Camaro, it was a present from his parents on his 16th birthday he and his dad had spent lots of weekends working on it to get it drivable. New tires, rims a new engine and suspension Johnny had spent hours washing and waxing the paint to get it to shine, and of course the stereo was a kick ass pioneer system.
He pulled into Julies driveway and ran up to the door, his mother would kill him if he ever honked the horn for a girl, knocking he waited for an answer.
Julie’s mom answered and invited him saying “Julie Johnny is here”. She came out in a yellow sundress that came just above her thigh and wow he just stared her makeup was flawless and her lips just so kissable. Johnny just stared and smiled at her Julie grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door “let’s go goofy”. Smiling sheepishly Johnny followed her out to the car.