I don't think anybody can understand what it's like to be accused of child abuse unless they have been accused or been very close to somebody who's been accused.
Well for 18 months, my older brother has been confronted with this horror. This is the brother whose daughter contacted me and eventually reconciled me to my brother some eight years ago when I was 58.
Well my wife was browsing the internet some months ago and discovered an article concerning 8 child abusers being charged with abusing children over many years whilst they worked in assorted widespread care homes.
Here is the website!
http://www.cps.gov.uk/wessex/cps_wessex_news/
On this site the article titled 'Eight accused of child abuse', listed my older brother amongst the eight. Dated 04/11/2011.
To say I was shocked and in despair after having seemingly found at least one friendly member from my past family would be to put it mildly. Only to learn that this same brother was now being charged to appear in Andover Magistrate's court on November 10th on charges of indecent assault. I felt as though I'd been hit by a train when I read the article.
My new-found brother had never struck me as the type though I have never been any good at judging characters and the news served only to leave me wretched and full of self doubt.
Today, 19th November, I plucked up the courage to phone his home address and to my joy his youngest son answered. I wasn't sure how I'd have reacted if my brother had answered for I wasn't at all sure of how I would have broached the subject.
After some brief courtesies exchanged with my nephew my brother came to the phone after cleaning some pastry (dough) off his hands and I had a chance to simply ask lightly 'Hows things?'
He replied 'Fine ... now.' And I realised this was an invite for me to inquire further. I don't think he realised that I knew of the case but when I then broached the subject he realised I must have known.
He then revealed that two days before the Magistrates hearing the police advised him that all charges were being dropped and the following day he received a letter from the crown prosecutors and the courts explaining that he was deemed innocent of all charges.
I need hardly tell you how relieved I was, not to mention my brother's relief; and that of his children and my wife's relief.
We then talked at great length about the 18 months bail he has been subjected to and his resentment at having had 18 months of his life virtually ruined. Abused by neighbours who were quick to judge, threatened by dickheads who presumed him guilty etc, etc,etc. Even now, those same neighbours have not been around to apologise, and he doesn't expect them to. As he says, he wouldn't want them as friends anyway.
His greatest resentment was that he never got his day in court to confront his accuser despite the fact that the other seven are now up before the crown court in Salisbury or Winchester on multiple charges of rape and abuse.
How truly relieved I am that the brother I have grown to love - AND TRUST! has proven to be a decent man!!!!!
Comments
I most certainly sympathise.
Bev: I know how tormenting this must have felt, and I am glad that all has come out for the better.
Much peace
Gwendolyn
Hearfelt thanks Gwen.
I just cannot begin to describe the relief I have been feeling. Did the website id work?
XX
Bev.
I am relieved for you and
I am relieved for you and your family. Sending prayers that all you will be able to move on from this quickly. I'm sure while being exonerated is paramount, the intrusion and feeling of helplessness can not be assuaged by an answer of "our mistake".
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Requittal.
Thanks Jenn.
The main hurt my brother feels is that he won't have the opportunity to confront his accuser in court. They dropped the case for lack of evidence and her withdrawing the charges. He also feels aggrieved about the loss of 18 months of his life because his bail conditions made him a virtual prisoner in his village whilst the neighbours castigated him. It was horrible.
The only hard evidence he has that he was innocent is the fact that the police are prosecuting the other seven and my brother's accuser is one of the plaintiffs who is continuing to press charges against the other seven. She's got evidence to back up her claims against the others but the police think her accusations against my brother are purely malicious for a whole host of reasons.
Well, can your brother press
Well, can your brother press charges against her? I mean just adding someone because you don't like him... this should be punishable.
It must have been hell
for him and his family, unfortunately mud tends to stick, so he might still have a rough time with his neighbours even though he's been declared innocent. People can be very judgemental especially over something as emotive as child abuse.
I hope he can move on and put it all behind him, possibly sue for wrongful arrest etc.
Angharad
The Police Have An Obligation
They should tell your brother why they charged him in the first place...i.e., on what evidence...why they dropped the charges and issue a formal apology for charging him and putting him on bail. He may not want to pursue it but he probably has a case for wrongful arrest,
Joanne
At the moment ...
At the moment, my poor brother is just trying to recover from the trauma and horror whilst somehow returning to a normal life. He still doesn't know which way is up at the moment. The whole business has left him depressed and shattered. I must confess, Angharad is right, mud sticks and my brother still feels eyes boring into his back every time he goes out of the house. As to litigation or whatever further down the road, he simply hasn't even countenanced anything like that yet.
I feel as guilty as hell for even doubting my own judgement but it's bloody hard when I have a back-ground like mine and he was a carer in special schools for kids with serious behaviour problems. I just couldn't get the images out of my head!!!!!
I confess, I cried over the phone when he told me, partly with relief and partly through my own sense of guilt for even doubting him!!
Thanks everybody.
XX
Bev.
Beverly Taff, I understand
Beverly Taff, I understand your Utter, utter relief. I have a friend who fathered 2 daughter. His wife left him for another man. Worst of all, my friend was accused of child molestation. Tuned out that his daughters were told what to say by the female who gave birth to the ex-wife. Now my friend is happily married to another wife who adores herstep-daughters as much as she does her children.
May Your Light Forever Shine
So wrong ...
...in falsely accusing your brother, the victim may have hurt the court's chances to successfully prosecute the real abusers, and it may lead to them being found not guilty. Joanne is right; the court at least owes your brother an explanation regarding the false charges. I'm sorry that the renewal of your relationship with him has been met by such horrible circumstances, but I know that the timing may be more than merely coincidental since your restoration comes at just the right time for him. I wish you well.
Love, Andrea Lena
Innocent or Guilty ?
How sad it is that you are judge Guilty and need to prove your Innocents. The law (at least here in USA)say you are Innocent until proven Guilty.What happened to the law. The neighbors and so called friends who prejudged can go to HELL
That is my 2 cents. Glad it worked out OK HUGS -- RICHIE2
So glad for...
So glad for him... And - that letter "deemed innocent of all charges". That's something I don't think anyone gets over here, despite or "innocent until proven guilty" claims.
I just hope there's some way he can "rebuild" his reputation among his neighbors and "friends".
Best wishes to you and yours,
Annette
I'm not sure of the exact nature of the court letter.
However the letter came from the court declaring him innocent. Short of nailing copies of the letter all around the village / town I'm not sure what else my brother can do to remove the sticky un-neighbourly mud that Angharad so correctly refers to. I can understand why he feels resentful and weary of the whole damned 18month debacle. It remains now to see how my brother goes forward.
lucky
Your brother is very lucky. I don't know how the legal system works in England, but I do know how it works here in America. When I first got in trouble for something I didn't do, I was looking at 650 years in prison or I could take a 51 month sentence. I wasn't going to risk losing my life behind barbed wire. Seeing how I was a teacher at the time and that I know for a fact they were trying to add molestation charges (Word got back to me that the feds were telling students "we already know he did inappropriate stuff to you and your friends, it's your duty to make sure he goes away for a long, long time," even after the student said repeatedly that nothing ever happened.
So good for your brother being cleared. I don't think I could've lasted the 18 months waiting.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
Anonymous tips
In My state one can call a hotline and make a verbal report about an abuser. I had a friend who was accused of abusing his step son. It took him two years to get the case to court and face his accuser. The accuser said he did it because he was jealous of my friends relationship with his stepson and that his son was ignoring him. My friend was told the charges were dropped and in turn the judge held the accuser accountable and he went to trial later.
My friend was involved in the scouting program and was asked to step down because of the charges. His reputation was ruined, even after the charges were dropped he was stopped from getting involved with the scouts, he and his wife now reside in another state. His name however remains on the abuser list because of bureaucratic red tape.
It would have been nice 50 years ago to have had the opportunity to get my abuser arrested, instead I got from the district attorneys, "You must have had it coming." I was beaten so bad I had black and blue welts on my back, two black eyes, a cut lip and loose teeth. MU legs were welted and my arm was unable to move. My gym teacher is the one who called the district attorney.
I don't agree with anonymous callers accusing an innocent person of an action that can ruin a life.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Why the fuck are they allowed
Why the fuck are they allowed to name people in newspapers in such sensitive cases? There are bloody rape shield laws that grant the accuser anonymity, but accused in childabuse/rape/child pornography cases are not granted it... What happened to presumption of innocence? The fact it is allowed just cries for a witch-hunt, especially considering how the media are today.
In Germany we had the case were a 19 year old was arrested for possible child murder and the details about the case were leaked to the media. Three days later it became obvious that he couldn't have done it, but in the meantime there were already lynch demands on Facebook and a protest against him in front of the prison.
People don't seem to understand the difference between accused and guilty. It's just disgusting really. If this kind of attitude also exists in the courts I'm not sure I want to know how many innocent people are in prison right now.
I can only feel with the victims of abuse here, but I don't think witch-hunts against accused people are the solution. Neither are abuser lists in the bureaucracy that list everyone ever accused.
My friend served 8 YEARS,
for something he didn't do... the very same thing your Brother was accused of. He was convicted on the unsupported word of a 12 year old and a Prosecutor who was HEARD to say he knew my friend was innocent, but he wasn't going to risk his unbeaten record on something this small!
Regardless what ANYONE says, Innocent until proven guilty is a crock of b.s. We didn't have the money to fight the case, and my friend refused to admit guilt for something he didn't do so every time he came up for parole, it was denied and he served the full term.
Since moving to another state, his name has been cleared, and his rights restored to him, but he can never come back here with his friends because of the accusations and the fact that the one who did the accusing still lives here.
Bev, if I were your Brother, I'd have the accuser, the police, and anyone else I could think of up in the Bailey so fast their heads would spin! The law suits would fly fast and furious. Let's see... there's Libel, slander, defamation of character, wrongful arrest, wrongful imprisonment, character assassination, and probably more than I can think of right now. I don't know what the legal system in the U.K. is like, or how it operates, but surely there is SOME recourse for someone so wrongfully accused and whose life has been shattered by it.
Ending this now because I'm too angry at the whole damn legal system which, as we all know, is different for the rich from what it is for the poor.
A pissed off Catherine Linda Michel said that!
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.