...have its pitfalls, to be sure, and if they figure out you're trans without your having to tell them, it can be worse yet. I've lived in the same town, and the same apartment complex, for all but a year and a half of my transition (going on fourteen years now). In the early years, the rumors about me could get pretty crazy, and pretty vicious:

--I was a disgruntled ex-husband who was so bitter toward my ex that I "turned transvestite." (Heck of a way to get back at someone, wouldn't you say? What did they think my plan was--sue for custody of her wardrobe? And I've never been married.)

--And here's a beauty: I'm in a wheelchair because of a "botched sex change." (Not only is such an occurrence unlikely, it's only a few parsecs off from the real reason I'm in this chair--cerebral palsy). Normally I could laugh these things off, but this rumor did me harm, in that it lost me a friend. My next-door neighbor at the time believed the rumor, and was very cold toward me for most of the time I knew him. You see, he thought I was taking advantage of the system, and drawing disability for a "self-inflicted" problem.

When he was told differently, he became so upset he couldn't sleep for days, or so I heard. He ended up sending me a lovely apology card that I still have. I sent one back, saying he had restored my faith in human nature.

Sadly, we never really got to be friends. He died shortly thereafter, so I missed a chance to know a really sweet guy. I'll never forgive that anonymous gossip for that.

So, K.T., I do acknowledge disclosure can be risky. But don't be too quick to write off those who initially reject you. They may well surprise you.