'I always wondered how easy it was to topple a maid,' Godo said, 'and now I know.'

'Oh my God!' There was nothing else I could say. I sure hoped the artificial vagina was as good as had been billed, because remembering the last time I'd seen his prick, it certainly was going to have a hell of a challenge.

He was fumbling about down there for at least half a minute, before he said, 'Bloody hell! What kind of a tight twat have you got? Have you never been fucked by a proper man before?'

Well, since he mentioned it, the answer was no, but I couldn't really tell him so. 'Please let me up, master. The mistress wouldn't like it if she saw me in this position,' I wailed.

'I'd have thought she'd have been bloody relieved; she always moans enough about having sex with me. Anyway, I'm getting nowhere trying the conventional way; let's try an alternative.'

'Yah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!!' My scream, as his mammoth prick penetrated my arse, would have awoken the dead.

'That's it lass. I always enjoy it more if you scream. Come on, scream louder.' And he forcefully shoved his prick in as far as it would go, and I acceded to his request.

My only comfort, as he withdrew and then shoved it hard inside me again, was that it wouldn't go on for long; after all, when he'd been shagging Carol, it had taken only three thrusts before he came, and then only a couple of thrusts afterwards.

'Sure,' I told myself, 'this was excruciatingly painful, but nothing like as painful as it would be if I told him he was really arse-fucking a man, especially the man who's been fucking his wife.' So I gritted my teeth, girded my loins (at last, I knew what that term meant) and mentally counted the thrusts: One — Two — Three — Four — Five — Six — Seven — Eight — Nine — Ten. Oh shit, he wasn't showing any signs of orgasm!

I must have passed out in agony, because the next thing I knew he'd released the hoop from over my head and was wiping his prick on my petticoat.

He smiled down at me. 'It was good for you, as well, was it? I noticed you passed out with pleasure. I don't often get that kind of compliment. I can see that us two are going to get on fine together.'

***

The dinner went well, except that I had difficulty walking without my internal organs complaining about the abuse they'd received. However, not even Godo seemed unhappy with the service, and it was as I was clearing away the main course that he made his announcement.

'I'm certain everyone here knows how much I appreciate my wonderful wife,' he said, 'and the meal she has created tonight has been absolutely perfect.' Everyone looked totally gob-smacked that he should compliment his wife, and Carol flushed with pleasure.

'But what has made Carol's achievements so much more notable,' he continued, 'was that on Thursday morning, the maid she had booked for tonight, cancelled. Carol was worried sick it was going to be a disaster. However, when I left her that morning to go off on my conference, I was absolutely confident she would find a solution.'

I guessed he'd probably threatened to kill her if it wasn't sorted.

He gave one of his horrific smiles. 'When I returned this afternoon, I found that Carol has found this wonderful, hard-working wench. You'll be pleased to know' — another horrible smile — ' I've told Carol that we'll keep the tart on for the foreseeable future, and we'll be throwing lots of other parties like this, to which you're all invited.'

He turned to me, and added, 'Wench, you'd better go and get our puddings, and make it sharp.'

***

Carol came out to the kitchen to help me serve out the dessert onto dishes.

'You see, James really can be nice at times,' she said.

I was lost in thought, and didn't respond immediately. Eventually, when we were ready to take the desserts through to the dining room, I said, 'Carol, James just said that he went away for his conference on Thursday.'

'Yes, that's right.'

'So he'd have been away on Thursday night.'

'Yes.'

'Well, that's the night when you rang me and told me your house had been burgled, and the police had found my fingerprints, and James was about to do a dawn raid. James wasn't there that night, was he?'

'No.'

After a few seconds, she added, 'Well, I was really desperate to get a replacement serving-maid, and you'd been so shitty — screwing me every day, and then refusing to do just a tiny favour. So, I made the whole thing up.'

'You made it all up! Jesus Christ! How could…'

'Keep your voice down, otherwise you'll be overheard.' Her voice suddenly sharpened. 'And I really cannot tolerate a maid talking to me in that fashion. Please make certain that doesn't happen again.'

'Happen again? It won't happen again, because I'm out of here. Right now!' I started to undo the strings of my apron.

'Well,' she said in her bitchy voice, 'wait until I tell James about the little trick you played on him, to see whether he'd recognise the waiter who served him in the restaurant last week. I'm certain he'll be very cross.'

'Cross! He'll be fucking livid when he finds it was a bloke he's shagged!' I suddenly realised she wasn't joking. 'You wouldn't tell him that. It's not true. Would you?'

'Do you want to try me? After all, I've got nothing to lose, other than the services of an extremely competent maid. And she's telling me she's going to leave, anyway.'

'I could tell him the two of us had been having an affair.'

'Oh sure. First of all, he wouldn't believe that any man could be so stupid as to cross him, and secondly if he did believe you, he would tear you into two.'

She smiled. 'I'm certain you'll agree it's far better to continue working here, than for him to discover the reason why you were unsuitable. And I'm also certain that you'll soon learn to live with his little foibles. Now, wench, would you serve the desserts.'

'But how long do you expect me to work here?'
'Until James gets fed up with using you as a receptacle for his prick. It may be a few weeks, a few months, maybe even a couple of years. You never can tell with James just how long his infatuations will last. Perhaps you'll have to wait forever.

'Just like,' she added with a smile, 'Waiting for Godo.'