The fun never stops as me and Hoss (my trusty battle van) match up against Satan everynight.

I just got my van fixed. Gauges work, Radio works, Temperature needle stays somewhere in the middle (use to go lower but it isn't going to H either). Figured, ah, a respite for me and Hoss.

NO!

I should've known the night was going to go bad, because it started out that way. For the next part you will have to know that I have a adolescent kitty. If you don't like hearing bad things happening to kitties, I'm sorry.

I back out of my driveway. (Don't think the worst, for shame). I start to head for work. I live on a dead end, so I take the first right and head three blocks to the first light. Just before the first light, I feel something rub against my leg. I'm thinking it's a bag. I deliver papers, bags are everywhere. A split second later I see my cat jump up onto the passenger seat, and before I can hit the break and put the car into park she is on the window. I reach for the cat (her name is Madeline, her sister is Kabookie, when I got them there names were Faith and Hope, but I kept forgetting which was which and when I say I have no Faith and Hope, its because I renamed them). She jumps out of the van.

I get out of the van, but the dumb cat jumped through a fence. It's one a.m. in the morning, I'm due to battle Satan in an hour, and I'm not going into someone's yard at that hour because you would be reading my obituary instead.

So I get to the center, worried about my kitten, but there's not much for me to do about it. Besides, I think, it's only three blocks. Certainly the dumb cat can find it's way back.

I roll my papers, load the van and think I will get the best of Satan (my route). Things are working fine. I got WDUV on. I'm singing and flinging (if I were more attractive I might try swinging). First paper get's delivered fine. Second paper gets delivered, wait there is something wrong. My Highbeams went out. I still have my regular lights (they are separate). I figure maybe I turned the highbeams off, I have a habit of doing that without thinking if I see a car coming or whatever. Normally when I go to the highbeams, I hear a little clicky sound. There is no little clicky sound. I no longer have highbeams. I go into the pits of hell that sucks the light out of everything and I have no high beams. I might as well drive in the dark. Worst part is, I don't think it's fixable. On some cars, the whole thingy mechanism (industry term I'm sure) and you can replace it pretty simple. I've done it before. However, not on this van. You can replace the rod, but it's not the rod that is broken but where the rod goes into. I might have to replace the entire steering column.

But. Me and Hoss persevere. I make it through the night and head back home. Hoss isn't good at tracking down kitties, and his only interaction with animals is running over them. I pull into my driveway and get out. I see a cat, but it's kabookie not Madeline. I see another cat, but it's a stray that I've been feed and named her "Hey-you". So I go off on foot to find the missing feline.

Kabookie decides to follow me. Hey You decides to stay behind because one less cat in my house may mean more food for her. We walk a few blocks, the damn orange cat is in tow and we seemed to pick up a black cat that decided to walk with us. The black cat is trying to play with Kabookie, Kabookie is trying to keep up with me and learned real quick not to step in front of me. "Sorry kitty". So I head towards where I lost my cat, at 6 in the morning, calling out "Madeline.... pssst pssst pssst."

A block away from where she tried to be the worlds first low orbit skydiving cat I find Madeline. "YAY!!" She was crying a little to alert me where she was but as soon as she saw me she stopped.

So now I am walking back to my house. I have an orange cat behind me, I have a rust colored cat behind me, I have a black cat behind me and they are all following me. I somehow became the cat whisperer. It might've been funny if I had a flute, but I didn't think that far ahead.

The black cat followed us to the point where she began and then veered off. My cats came in the house and ate, then slept. Madeline became needy that night, but she gets in those moods often.

Stay tuned paper delivery watchers.... what will happen in the next episode (probably I find out why I have three extra papers this morning, because I can't figure out who I didn't deliver).