The plane wasn't full, and I was pleased when the seat beside me was not filled. Economy Class is always very restricted in space, they don't call it 'Cattle Class' for nothing, so it was good to have the room to spread out a bit. As we headed north, my mind went back to an interview Dr Brentwell had arranged for me with Lindsay, one of his patients who had completed all her surgery about a year previously.

As he put it “I can tell you all that happens in theory, but it's better for you to talk to someone who has actually experienced the surgery.” I couldn't help thinking that this was a further test of whether I was totally committed to having surgery, since as he informed me, there were some women who were content not to fully transition.

Lindsay was a charming woman and not in the least given to dramatic descriptions, but she left me in no doubt that I should expect a number of days of severe discomfort.

“Was there ever a time after the surgery when you wished you hadn't gone through with it?” I asked.

“Not at all,” she replied. “I guess it might be likened to when a woman has a baby. At the time of giving birth it can be very painful, but when the baby is born then the memories of the pain are forgotten in the joy she feels. I think for me, knowing that I was now as complete a woman as is possible, made all the pain disappear into the background. In a sense I did feel reborn.”

I slept for part of the flight, had a couple of meals and watched a movie, and then the announcement came that we were landing in Bangkok. After clearing customs where they scarcely seemed to notice the difference in my passport photo, I proceeded into the arrivals hall and searched for the person who should be there to meet me. Finally I noticed a person of indeterminate gender holding a misspelled sign saying “Miss Colins” in large black letters.

I walked over and introduced myself “I am Miss Collins.” The person holding the sign, who I will now identify as 'she' for if not genetically female, she struck me as very effeminate in appearance and demeanor smiled and said “I am Chen, Miss Collins, very pleased to meet you. Please follow me. A car is outside.”

I followed her out of the arrivals hall and into the heat and humidity of Bangkok which struck me almost physically. I couldn't help hoping that the hotel and hospital were air-conditioned, and of course they were.

On arrival at the hotel I was shown to my room and Chen left me her phone number and asked me to call if I had any problems. I unpacked my suitcase, and not for the first time wished I had a companion with me, as I was feeling very alone. I slept fitfully that night, perhaps due to the hum of the air-conditioning or perhaps it was all the thoughts that were whirling around my head. I did finally drop off to sleep, and when I awoke it was already daylight. The room was provided with a hot water jug, tea and coffee, but no toaster, perhaps they are considered a fire hazard. I made myself a hot drink and used the small supply of margarine, Vegemite and marmalade I had brought along to spread on dry biscuits for breakfast. I determined to see if I could order some toast in the future, but that depended on when my surgery was to take place.

I had an appointment that morning with Dr K, a well-known surgeon in the field of SRS, and that went on for an hour and seemed to cover everything. His English was very good, much to my relief. He had studied medicine in England, and it seemed he had many patients from English-speaking countries where SRS is available but much more expensive than in Thailand. This applied particularly to the United States where I understand all medical expenses are very high. I was told that my surgery would take place in three day's time, and as arranged this would include breast augmentation as well as the SRS.

I returned to the hotel and prepared myself as much as possible for the surgery, including a trip to the local market to stock up on some extra food for when I returned to the hotel, although I knew this would most likely be around six days post surgery. Then it was matter of waiting for the 'big day'. I confess I felt nervous, but what person doesn't when they know they are about to have major surgery?

After fasting the previous night, I arrived at the hospital early on the day of the surgery, was shown to my ward, and went through all the usual pre-operative checks. Now that things were actually happening I felt a lot calmer. I had to hand my body over to the experts and just let them do their jobs. I was given a sedative which calmed me still further, and in due course the orderlies came for me and I was wheeled down corridors, into a lift, then along more corridors, all the while looking up at the lights flashing past which was rather disorientating. Soon I was in a room next to the operating theatre where I was given a blanket to keep me warm. Dr K arrived and checked me again, asked me what surgery I was to have, and gave me a few reassuring words. Then came the anaesthetist who asked if I have any allergies, but fortunately I have none. Thanks to the sedative I was almost dozing when I was wheeled into the operating theatre with its massive overhead lights, and shuffled across onto the table itself. I drew a deep breath, thinking to myself 'Well, this is it.' A drip was inserted into my arm and the last thing I remembered was a sensation of cool fluid flowing into a vein, and then..nothing.

The next thing I heard was a voice which seemed far away saying “She's coming round” and then a blurred face appeared above me and asked how I was. My mouth felt totally dry but I managed to mumble “Alright” which was manifestly far from how I felt. Over the next half hour or so I felt myself slowly returning to full consciousness. Dr K appeared and told me that everything had gone well. More observations were taken and after that I was wheeled back to my room. Feeling about gingerly, I identified bandages all around my genital area and also my breasts which appeared much enlarged but whether that was just the surgical dressings I could not tell. Feeling further down, I detected various tubes coming from my genital area. I had been warned that these were to provide drainage.

I would rather draw a veil over the next few days. I did not suffer great pain because I was given injections each time it got too hard to bear, but just being forced to lie on my back and do nothing made the days seem endless. There was a television screen and I was provided with a remote control, but most of the channels were not in English. I slept a lot of the time, although regular checks of my blood pressure and pulse made sure I did not remain asleep too long. Dr K called by briefly the day after the operation and again told me all had gone well, presumably thinking I might not have taken in what he said after the operation. A couple of days later he arrived again and this time examined his handiwork and pronounced himself happy. Even if I'd had a mirror, from my prone position and with all the bandages I would have seen nothing, so I was just happy to take his word for it.

On the third day I was started on juices and soups and tolerated them quite well after an initial bout of nausea. I could not help thinking that I must have lost a little weight with only intravenous feeding for three days and then a very restricted liquid diet. Every cloud has a silver lining! Gradually solids were introduced, and then on the sixth day I was told that the bandages would be removed, and I would finally be able to see for myself what the 'new me' looked like. I was warned that there would be swelling and bruising so not to expect too much, but that as time went on things would look a lot better. My depth was also checked and found to be six inches. Over the following days, I was taught to dilate myself with a stent, which I learned to do under the watchful eyes of the nurses. I also started to take baby steps around my room and eventually was able to shower myself which was bliss!

On the sixth day I was returned by ambulance to my room at the hotel where I would be visited several times a day by nurses from the hospital.

Time passed slowly, but now I was sitting up, and I had brought along a number of books to read, and also DVDs to watch, so all in all it was not too bad. I had been warned what things would be like, but of course the actual experience is a lot different to just hearing about it. Each day I had a regimen of dilations and also breast massages. I was very pleased with my new breasts which were a large B cup bordering on C which I found very satisfactory.

I was now allowed to leave my room and a few days later I ventured outside for the first time, but I felt it was necessary to take very small steps so I did not travel very far. Eventually I took a taxi to the local shops to stock up again on some delicacies, although by now my usual robust appetite was returning. Each day saw me feeling stronger and able to walk further, which was just as well as my time in Thailand was coming to an end.

I can understand why people who have to spend a long time in an environment where everything is done for them, tend to become 'institutionalized', and don't want to leave it and go back to the real world. However, I would be running out of money soon, and couldn't afford to extend my stay. Anyway, I was on annual leave and they were expecting me back at the lawyers' office.

There was another thing I had to consider. I had made up my mind before the dramas that preceded my trip that my new vagina was not for sale. Yes, I hoped to get the opportunity to 'road-test' it at some stage, but it would be on my own terms, not because someone had paid me. However,this meant a drop in my income, so I might have to consider getting another part-time job in the evenings. Then there was the question of should I keep living with Chloe? One of the other girls had moved in to keep her company while I was away, as she was still nervous about being on her own. Perhaps I should make a clean break and find somewhere else to live if I could find something I could afford.

I arrived back on a Saturday, and Chloe greeted me warmly. She had fully recovered, and the minor bruising she still had was easily disguised with makeup, so she was working again. It appeared that Cheryl, one of the genetic girls from the parlour who was staying with her was sleeping in her bed, so for the time being I thought I'd let things ride.

On Monday morning I was back at work, and everyone asked how I'd enjoyed my holiday, and of course I said I'd had a great time! When I'd recovered, I'd been out and about a bit in Bangkok, taking numerous photos to make up for the days when I couldn't do anything, so from the point of view of the other staff members, I had had an enjoyable holiday.

They asked me if I'd had a holiday romance, so I described meeting a doctor and my description of him was remarkably like my surgeon, Dr K, who I must admit I had rather fancied. They pressed me for further details, especially what he was like in bed, so I was deliberately vague but contrived to give the impression that it had all been very satisfactory. Fortunately, we had completed our chat and were hard at work when Miss Evans came into the office.

“Ah there you are Mandy, I trust you had a good holiday?” and without waiting for a reply she continued “Would you step into my office please?” I don't know about you, but every time I hear those words I always think the worst, and wondered what I'd done, or worse still, had she found out about me and was going to 'let me go' as it's euphemistically put nowadays? When I entered her office and took the chair she indicated, to my surprise she smiled at me.

“We've really missed you while you were away, and so have the partners. In fact they suggested to me that we offer you an increase in your salary so that you wouldn't be tempted to leave. However something else has happened. Jenny our senior clerk/typist has handed in her notice, so I suggested to the partners that we offer you her position, with of course, an increase in salary. How does (and here she mentioned a sum beyond my wildest dreams) sound?” For a moment I was stunned, but found my voice and trying not to sound too excited, replied.

“Thank you Miss Evans, I would be happy to accept, but what about the other typists? They've been here longer than me, won't they take it badly that I've been promoted above them?”

“I've already spoken to them and they are quite happy. As you know, they are all married women and just want to do their job and get home to their families. The position I'm offering you involves more responsibility and sometimes longer hours, and they don't want that. I trust you errr are not thinking of getting married any time soon?”

“No Miss Evans, I can guarantee that!”

“Good,” she said “Well I mustn't keep you from your work, it's piled up bit since you've been away.”

'Well I never,' I thought to myself 'That's pretty much solved my financial problems, and I didn't even have to ask for a raise!'