This isn't directed at anyone here, just some in-general observations and a recent experience of mine.
I was at the grocery store today and their self checkout lanes were down, so of course the registers that were going had long lines and people were patient about it given the obvious problems the place was having with its systems.
I had three items and was in the express lane, behind two other people and with four others behind me when a woman with a loaded shopping cart came from the other direction and blithely tried to insert herself into the line -- ahead of me. I politely excused myself and pointed out the the line for this register started back there. I got a look of surprise, anger and she answered. "EXCUSE ME. Go ahead if you want." So I did. Sadly, no one else in the line said anything and she was right behind me in that line when I got checked out.
When did simple common courtesy become something that people feel they can ignore and get away with it? Since I am the one in the family who does the shopping for just about everything, I've seen this kind of behavior before. Too many times.
I suppose the point of this is that if people allow others to get away with that (I was raised in a different, time, I know that and was taught that being polite was expected of me and that I should naturally others to return the favor.) The people who do that believe they can get away with it and suffer no censure at all.
If more people just had the nerve to do what I did today, I think that type of behavior might stop happening so often.
To be fair, I've also seen people who allow someone in line ahead of them because of the small number of items they have, or there were children with them.
Those are the ones who at least let me hope that common decency and courtesy isn't lost.
Okay, rant over and I'll return to your normal programming.
Maggie
Comments
I'll drink to that
I see it in stores, in parking lots, in restaurants,on the streets and highways. No one pays attention, and there is no more common courtesy. No one thinks ahead.
Common what???
Yes, I have seen similar things happening around me. If I am in a line I will willingly allow someone ahead of me if they only have a couple of things or have small children to herd like cats. I will however, stand my guns if someone tries to cut in front of me.
Please don't be sad...
Moved by your experience. Sorry. Having very bad headache cant talk more dont be upset please
Cathy Bev need you
This used to be more common here in CA
This kind of rudeness has actually gotten less common over the last ten years or so.
The local problem was partly a cultural thing, people don't stand in lines in rural Mexico very much and immigrants had a hard time with the concept, I think. It just didn't occur to them right off, to them a line looked like a crowd. Once they got the idea the courtesy of Mexican culture took over and they did adapt quickly. But there were always new immigrants. Lately, that pressure has slacked off some, perhaps that's why I don't see this happening so much.
Or maybe it is that American culture had penetrated even the rural areas of Mexico and lining up has become more common down there.
Nowadays, it's much more likely to be a native pushing into line but it just doesn't happen like it used to. I grew up ten miles from the border and it was something you had to struggle against frequently. Making appointments to see doctors and dentists and such were other things that did not seem natural to immigrants. It wasn't impatience or selfishness, it was just a lack of familiarity with things Americans take for granted -- you have to make appointments, you have to wait for the repairman and you have to stand in line.
Or if you're a New Yorker, on line.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Traveling Economy Class
I've heard that with the economy the way it is, there are more people immigrating to Mexico then from Mexico right now. That'd explain why there aren't as many new immigrants that don't know the culture.
Death of Common courtesy
Common Courtesy, Common sense and the Pilsbury dough boy all died at the same time.
I truly blame parents for whats taking place. I count peoples Items in line and if they are in a fast lane I ask them to get out of line and show some common sense. I am courteous when I do so.
I know ignorance is bliss but too many people are blissful.
We can also blame the cashiers. In Walmart where I shop the cashiers are told to process who ever comes in their lines. So if a person has a shopping cart full the cashier has to process them through. If I am in line I will say something, I may use sarcasm but I try to be polite. ie "I guess counting has changed since I went to school, never did understand the new math?"
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
The old joke
what happens when two Englishmen get together - they form a queue. It's innate to us Brits, though people will try it on and I get very exasperated when I've queued and someone just pushes in. I do allow others with children or fewer items to skip in front of me.
However, I notice that children are less polite and courteous than in my day and seem to have loads of words of reply, most of which they surely can't understand, can they? I didn't until I was about twenty. I do get very frustrated with the bad behaviour of others, especially other people's children, when you know that breaking their necks would improve their behaviour enormously, but that you can't because you left your surgical gloves behind and they shouldn't be touched without protection.
Angharad
Supermarkets
One problem I've encountered on busy days (i.e. when I've made the mistake of visiting on a Saturday) is that the queues often reach as far as the aisles. Although most people will temporarily step out of line to allow people to move from one aisle to the next, some are obstinate and remain, so you have to go around the queue. The self checkout line can be worst as the queue is typically angled so when it's busy the end of the queue, instead of heading down an aisle, runs across the aisle ends.
Similarly, in the narrower aisles of local supermarkets, you can sometimes find a group of people occupying most of the width of the aisle (not necessarily teens - people of all ages) and can be so engrossed in what they are doing they don't respond to a polite "Excuse me please" - even if said loudly, and you have to squeeze past them. At which point, it's 50:50 whether they'll make an exaggerated show of stepping out of the way with an "Oh, sorry" or just glaring at you.
Also on the lack of politeness front, if the car park's busy and you spot someone just about to leave, you'll wait by the place, leaving enough room for the person to get out, with your indicators on to clearly indicate you're waiting for the space... then as soon as they've gone, someone else (who wasn't waiting) will drive into the space (often in the case that you're facing the direction the exiting driver intends to go, so you can't maneuver into the space until they've left, and the other person will be coming down in the opposite direction).
Mercifully it hasn't happened to me, but there are numerous tales of dents caused by other people's trolleys, other people swinging open their door into yours, or the spiteful so-and-so that 'keys' your car (drags their key along it, leaving a nice long scratch).
-oOo-
Then again, in supermarkets the technology itself is often maddening....
"Unexpected item in bagging area. Please remove this item before continuing."
OK, remove the last item you scanned.
"Item removed from bagging area. Please replace item."
Rinse and repeat until the supervisor arrives... Argh! Then there's the case of lightweight items that the scales don't register, so sit there barking out "Please place item in bagging area."
Or if you're going to a staffed checkout and the bar code isn't perfectly flat, they'll attempt scanning it up to a dozen times before having the iniative to type in the number, or (even worse) hold everyone up for five minutes while they put out a call to a fellow member of staff to find another example of the product for them to scan instead.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
No to self checkouts
I refuse to use the self checkout queues, on the basis it's doing someone out of a job. Tesco, and the others, would love to staff a supermarket with just a security man, whilst robots stack the shelves and customers do all the other work.
What am I suppose to do at a place like Costco?
Where they always seem horribly understaffed.
For common courtesy I think it's a mix. While there are people like Mag's generation who practice it and some of my parent's generation so I have it I think it has faded out more along the newest generation.
I would even go so far as to argue were it not for people like Maggie speaking up on this, being courteous but also calling people out on it, it could be worse. What I mean is along the lines that consistently rude people see it as someone to take advantage more so when a person is being courteous.
However let us not mistake being courteous for silence when something must be talked about, especially that dirtiest of subjects we're expected not to talk about around the dinner table but that which effects everyone's lives.
Being phased out
Many of the stores that introduced them in the U.S. are pulling them out. Seems too many items aren't getting scanned. Go figure.
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Rudeness in the Mid West...
I've actually seen this kind of thing most, when visiting friend in the midwest, specifically Indiana :)...
Here, in New Jersey, I will hold a door open for someone only to find that on the other side of the double-door vestiblue, someone is holding the door for me, or people with hurry up, and geat ahead of me if I have bags in my hand, and make sure to open the door for me...
When Indiana, I specifically experienced the following phenomenon. When going into the story, I would hold the door not only for members of my group, but others that were near entering or leaving. These people, seeing me holding the door, would cross their arms, and run in as fast as possible so that they wouldn't be "responsible" for holding the door for anyone else! It felt so completely RUDE and un called for. I didn't expect anyone to take the door from me, I was just doing what I thought was polite!
I was raised in California, to be polite and respectful to others, and live that here in New Jersey, and to see this kind of completely selfish and down right RUDE reaction by people in "america's heartland" just made me sick and disappointed.
Just my $0.02 American.
-HuGgLeS-
-Piper/Kirstyn Amanda Fox
Common Courtesy.
Well, when I am in the store, I tend to let someone ahead of me if there is no line as I am not in a hurry
May Your Light Forever Shine
So True
My wife works the registers at wally world and this goes on all the time.I like the little old ladies with 6 different orders going into her shopping bags who by the way told me she was legally blind and went out got in her car and kind of drove (OMG) way
You got to feel sorry for idiots old people & babies HUGS RICHIE2
P.S. nothing wrong with babies or old people
Funny that it never happened in NYC
... where I grew up. Though come to think of it, we are a tough lot and everyone knows a New Yorker will pipe up promptly if they feel put upon (and we do.) I have not experience any of the sort (except I cut the line by accident once, not realizing where the head of the queue was (they put it wayyyyy back in that store in a odd locale and did not realize it was there. Oops. I gave the people an oops I'm sorry look as I left though. How embarrassing) from other people.
I will be on the look out in other parts of the country then.
Kim
UNcommon Courtesy
I too grew up in Southern California, mostly within 75 miles of the border. I lived/live in a small town. Courtesy was an expected norm. It was what I was taught, and I expected others to do likewise. When I was younger, I was always certain, that if I DID cut into line, one or the other, or BOTH of my parents would be there and see it! That would shortly be followed by either a spank, or a reprimand, more probably BOTH. While THEY might not have seen me, someone they knew would. When I was in High School, my hometown's population was less than 2000 people.
When we moved to Santa Rosa, in Northern California (1965), I was told to expect people to be more formally behaved. In San Diego, my mom would wear capris or shorts and flip-flops to the store. In Santa Rosa, she consistently wore at LEAST pants or a skirt, she would put a little lipstick on and run a brush through her hair. We expected others to do the same. In the stores, everyone was polite. Either that of my memory's faulty.
When I've been visited other states, my impression is people are not as polite as I've expected. I remember once, we had my wife's aunt and grandmother (from Queens, New York City) visit us while I attended UC Davis. She was awestruck when shopping. The clerk's actually SMILED, and were polite! While I didn't notice a difference when we visited them in NYC, she just kept on talking and talking to anyone who'd listen about the clerks who smiled when she went shopping in CA. For her, this went hand in hand with other forms of courtesy.
Still, to be honest, I didn't notice that big a deal when I went shopping in NYC.
Today, it's a different situation. As other's have noted, common courtesy is not very common. I refuse to stand idly by if someone cuts into a line ahead of me. Usually, all it takes is for them to be called out on it. The miscreant shuffles to the end of the line, face reddened that someone would object.
On this I'm very pleased with my 3 boys. People who see them frequently comment on how polite they are. I suppose that is the result of my wife's and my constant teaching. On this, at least, they've listened while growing up.
Bottom line, geography may play some small role in courtesy, BUT the one constant I notice today is, there is NOTHING common with Common Courtesy.
Beth
Well this is how I see things
I'm Ohioan. It's very true, no one here is courteous. It's a dog eat dog type of mentality. What's worse is actually trying to be courteous here. Then they'll use you for everything you're worth.
It really is a catch 22 here. But if someone would ever stop by my place, don't worry! I'm always here to help! ^_^
All things common ...
seem to becoming more rare.
Common courtesy, common decency, common sense all seem to have taken a hit in the last few years. It has gotten to the point that one had to grit ones' teeth and bite ones' tongue to keep from adding to the conflagration of rude and foolish behavior.
Decency, courtesy and sense.
They appear not to be so common any longer.