TopShelf TG Fiction in the BigCloset!
There is fine story by Danielle J titled Duty,Honor, Country, Family that isn't getting any comments. I can tell from the votes that people are reading it. I know it's complex and difficult to comment on, but is it that hard to just leave an "I like it." for Danielle on this one?
The story is well worth the time to read.
Maggie
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Comments
Sorry Danielle J, I usually do
... but at this point, things are pretty much on a setup phase in the story for the next major hurdle that Hiromi (Becky) will face so I am kinda jumbling up this chapter with the last one really. There is a lot of good news though I am concerned about Becky being left out in the cold in the relationship with Hiromi. Next chapter will be much more important I suspect as plots and changes to the characters get more solidified and moved forward with regard to their Swan Song mission and the threat to Hiromi's life.
It is a really good story and there is much to think about.
Come to think about it though is that Chuck had, before his reconciliation with Becky, had spilled the beans to a lot of folks about the 'phony' Hiromi being a body changer, when will the other shoe drop in that situation?
Kim
Chuck's spilling the beans
The only people Chuck told what happened to his wife are
A few journalists who thought he was a crackpot.
And his attorney McKenzie Smith.
I never meant to imply Chuck told any of his mates. When he was out drinking he told them he was having marital problems in general.
McKenzie Smith will be addressed in the next chapter. Thank you for the comment and help as always, Kimmie
Writing is painful, it's lonely and you suffer and there's no immediate feedback.- Actor, writer, playwright Robert Shaw
Daniel, author of maid, whore, bimbo, and sissy free TG fiction since 2000
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.- Oscar Levant
>> setup phase...
I disagree slightly, since a major hurdle has been overcome, the impact of Hiromi's revelation of the full extent of Swan Song upon the principals, and the opening up of the entire family situation, although the future is still a little hazy, as it always is in real life. Unlike most such stories, which "discard" minor players, we see the original Hiromi being brought into the circle of "family" as well, as someone we ought to care about, because despite her apparent cruelty and villainy, she's been hard done by, and is wounded, as are most of us. Don't forget that Chuck saw something of value in her once, enough to bring her home to show his mum, so there's a necessary complexity of feeling remaining. The last word in the title, "Family," is part of the key to the entire story, I think.
The Yakuza themselves are a sort of "family," through which they seek to escape the poverty of the lowest classes of Japanese society. They may be vicious criminals, but like the Pirates of Penzance, they're "orphan boys" as well. Like the Pirates, they love their monarch.
-----------
Sergeant:
On your allegiance we’ve a stronger claim –
We charge you yield, we charge you yield,
In Queen Victoria’s name!
Pirate King: (baffled)
You do?
Police:
We do!
We charge you yield,
In Queen Victoria’s name!
Pirates kneel, Police stand over them triumphantly.
Pirate King:
We yield at once, with humbled mien,
Because, with all our faults, we love our Queen.
Police:
Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen.
All:
Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen.
Police, holding Pirates by the collar, take out handkerchiefs and weep.
-----------
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDlkbai_Ftk
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
well,
I have told her my reasons, and she knows I like it.. I am about 15 chapters behind on her story. It was wonderful, until I decided to let it build a few chapters and read them together to make it easier......fatal error. I forgot her chapters are book length. So, I save off a copy and give it a kudo and add it to the list. But she knows I like it, even if that doesn't excuse my bad manners.
Well
For me, it was more that I've stopped reading the story. I read a number of chapters, but then the plot complications started getting .. complicated, and I decided I wasn't going to read any more until the story ended (or at least came to a conclusion before another storyline occurred.)
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
When its done I'll read it.
I don't read serials until they are completed. Which makes it pretty hard to find things to read daily on this site.
Nobody
Sometimes it's hard to know what to say
I agree wholeheartedly... it is a wonderful story and one that may well become a classic.
I also am one who usually refrains from reading until the story is finished. There are a lot of reasons for doing that. There are a few stories where I get pulled in in spite of myself. With this story I started with a buffer of about a dozen chapters, but still caught up too quickly.
I like the Kudos button at the end of each story/chapter/posting. It may seem a bit impersonal, but the same people writing essentially the same things after every post seems to me to border on the inane. "Good story. Keep it up."
Now that button is there, I use it a lot. Before, I just kept silent.
A lot of my comments are made off list to the authors themselves. Always positive, occasionally with some advice on how to make future stories/chapters better. Being technically critical in an open forum like this is not always appreciated and has been known to be counterproductive.
As important as feedback is, I think it's really difficult (at least for me) to do more.
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.
It's rather long in these days of "short attention-span theater"
THIS coming from Mr Loooog-winded himself. -- See my Timeout series, on hiatus but soon to be revived. The kite is flying as we speak and Itinerant and others are ready to "throw the last switch".
--grin--
Enough gratuitous self promotion. I'm here to support Danielle, one of the serious treasures here at BC.
Even I have skimmed a few chapters due to time constraints and have cursed under my breath for it as I have missed things and had to go back. I love the complexity of the *combatants*. The white hat guys/gals have more than their share of grey or streaked hats and not all the bag guy/galls are stereotypical black hats with long mustaches but people honorable in their own odd way. Then there are the back stabbers, manipulators on both sides, the incompetent former head of Swan Song, some of the top Japanese govt officials and the aging/dying and increasingly mentally unstable head of the Watanabies, our heroines "grandfather" come to mind.
This is a rather complex web Danielle is weaving but the end seems in sight IMHO.
Hang in there.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Just wondering here.
Maggie, I for one have read and commented on the story. And waiting to see what happens, next.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine