proof my roommate Tanya hates me

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As mentioned before, my roommate Tanya is a girlscout troop leader. She got the call that the cookies are in and now in the living room is thirty cases of cookies. This is cruel and mean of her because o am a chocoltarian. Yes, my religion is based around the many forms of chocolate. Now there about 40 boxes of somoas in the living room and I have been threatened with bodily harm if a single cookies somehow manages to disappear.

This is torture. She was smart enough to leave the thin mints in the trunk of her car

Comments

some are mine

Raff01's picture

Problem is I don't get them till I have money that's two days from now

THIN MINTS

Dear Raff

THIN MINTS GOOD FOR THE BELLY!!!!!!
At least she has a touch of compassion by not bringing in the Thin Mints. You need to file a claim against her for Cruel and Unusual Punishment.

She does not upho;d the Scout Promise or Law. Point this out to Tanya.

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times, She VIOLATES THIS ONE - She is not helping you
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to be
honest and fair, She VIOLATES THIS ONE - She is not being fair

friendly and helpful, She VIOLATES THIS ONE - She is not helping you
considerate and caring, She VIOLATES THIS ONE - She is not considerate or caring
courageous and strong, and She Upholds this one. She is courageous against your fury
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others, She VIOLATES THIS ONE - She does not respect you
respect authority,
use resources wisely, She upholds this one. The cookies are a resource and won't waste it all on you.
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

;-)

Rami

RAMI

where to put thin mints?

... inside your bra of course - then, when they get warm, you can ask a (close) friend to help you with removing them (lips and tongue work best!)!!!!! Ginger xx

no

Raff01's picture

No no no. I am a firm believer that sexual acts and food do not mix. In fact the thought of it makes me violently ill. Not sure why

You need the FAITH!

Does she not realize the importance of these morsels in the service of your God? She needs to understand the agony you feel at wanting to fulfill your Holy Ambition? We Chocolatarians want nothing more than to be one with our Lord, and this can only be accomplished by the consumption of large quantitiesa of the Holy Food.

She needs to understand your need, and appreciate your pious needs and desires. I fear that should she continue in this, there may be serious consequences, most of which involve chocolate syrup and copious amouts of fornication in a manner to horrible to describe. Please do not let her continue her temptations, as the punishment even seems to make you ill. Hert only hope is to sacrifice the Thin Mints, and send them to this address....

:-) Wren

Note: The rest opf this eMail has been lost, due to a power shortage at the asylum. Our sincere regrets at your loss.

RE: You need the FAITH!

I would like to ask you to refrain from any more communication of this manner, We at the Nofundays Mental Health Clinic have noticed a severe reaction in our patient today. Miss Phoenix suffered a severe bout of depression after reading your blog. She began screaming "Cookies!" at the top of her lungs, and has taken one of the other female patients, stripped her nude and covered her in two bottles of Hershey's syrup, which she knows she is not allowed to have in her room. As we fear for the young ladies continued health, we are currently attempting to communicate with Miss Phoenix, but so far all we seem to hear is a frequent giggling. As you may guess, we are quite concerned, and we will be in contact as to your responsibility in this terrible incident.

Denise Hardlardbutt
Director,
Nofundays Mental Health Clinic

GIGGLEFITS!

Leave it to Wren to talk about giggling even whilst managing to induce the very same!

Abigail Drew.

dear head of nut factory

Raff01's picture

Cookies.

I refuse any responsibility over you lack of control over your crazy people when they see the word cookie. As for the chocolate syrup, send in a couple glasses and a gallon of milk, she won't harm anyone after that

Sincerely

Ralph, high priest of Cadbury, prophet of Hershey, seer of all m&m's

Yay! Got my cookies! 10 boxes

Raff01's picture

Yay! Got my cookies!

10 boxes thin mints, 4 samoas and one of the new lemon thing. Being good and staying from the thin mints for a while