I applied for Social Security Disability today; I have a follow up appointment in two weeks. I'm happy to finally have an income; the past seven years have been very difficult, but we've gotten through with the help of friends; even some folks here. And of course their care and prayers have been such a blessing as well.

My tremor disorder usually rears its head during times of stress. I had been shaking quite a bit all morning, and by the time I got to the office, my tremors were noticeable and I was stammering as well. I ended up in my car weeping, and very discouraged, believing that all of my dreams were destined to fail. I felt hopeless regarding ever working with children again, and my future as Andrea seemed just as dim and with little promise. But tonight someone sent me an e-mail.

Regarding goals and dreams, I cite this from the message she sent me...

...those who really tried, even if they don't make it, find something about the experience that makes them happy, even fulfilled. Because as they try, the dream changes, maybe just in the little details, or maybe in the big ones as well. Maybe it changes completely. point is, in the trying, the dream-not-to-be changes, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once, into the dream-that-can-be. the point is, don't stop trying.

It's love like this that has seen me through the most desperate of times in recent years, and I cannot begin to express the gratitude I feel for this woman's friendship and encouragement. And she's not alone. Only this week I chatted with three different women and received pm's from three other women as well; all of whom had something profoundly encouraging to me. With love like this, how can I fail? So empowered as I am, I'm not giving up, and I'll keep trying. And to the women whose friendships have honed my soul? I say thank you! And to the woman who restored my hope tonight? You already know how I feel!