Author:
Contests:
Audience Rating:
B.Y.O.M.*
Ladies and Gentleman, and those who have declined to state, here to host our Strangefellows Day Contest awards are possible opponents a year from November in the U.S. Presidential race -- Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and Mayor Rudolph Giuliani.
Hillary: Just a couple of New Yorkers on the town.
Rudi: You got that right.
Hillary: We're going to paint the town pink.
Rudi: No, we're going to paint the state red.
Hillary: Poe tay toe, poh tah toh!
Rudi: You're wearing a pantsuit.
Hillary: And you're wearing a dress.
Rudi: I've got better legs.
Hillary: Moving right along.
Rudi: Our first category, Short Shorts. We're still on clothing here.
Hillary: I dare you to wear a pair for a debate.
Rudi: I will if you will.
Hillary: Too Short. Shoes.
Rudi: They're too short? You don't have the right shoes?
Hillary: No, the winner in the Too Short category with almost 80% of the first place votes is:
Shoes
by Heather Rose Brown
Rudi: Honorable Mentions go to the only other stories that got more than one vote for first place in this category:
Side Effects by Jamie Lou
Maiden 'gina by Jennifer Brock
Blue Moon by Donna Lamb
Rudi: That's a landslide.
Hillary: Of Shoes.
Rudi: Makes you think.
Hillary: About what?
Rudi: The next category?
Hillary: Well, the next category, Not Short Enough, had something for every profession...
Rudi: From waitress or plowman...
Hillary: To car sales or horse races...
Rudi: And it's close, it's so close, it went right down to the wire...
Hillary: And the winner, by a nose:
Dentistry for Gifted Equines
by Randalynn
Rudi: Edging out:
Bait and Switch
by Julie O
Hillary: If we gave out a third place we would have had a real tie so Honorable Mentions to both:
The Dirt Farmer's Son by Jill Micayla
Turning Tables by Itinerant
Rudi: That's about it for our part of the show.
Hillary: But you can catch our act again and again...
Rudi: In a caucus or primary near you...
Hillary: I'm sure you'll see enough of both of us...
Rudi: Especially you, if you wear a dress, you've got fat legs, lady.
Hillary: ...To be sick of our banter! Good night, folks.
Rudi: Good night!
And to host the next part of our show, the lovely Charo and Weird Al Yankovic -- the long and the short of it!
Charo: I'm glad they did not make me give out the Too Short awards; I am not Too Short, am I, Senor Al?
Al: Oh, I'd say the view from up here more than compensates.
Charo: It is too good for you.
Al: Mmm mmm.
Charo: Why they do call you Weird Al, anyway?
Al: (demonstrates)
Charo: Me gusto! I like it! That is weird, verdad.
Al: Let's get to the presentations.
Charo: When you compete against yourself, sometime you win but also you lose. What means this, Senor Al?
Al: It means that for most of the voting one story was in first place only to be beaten on the last two days by another story -- by the same author.
Charo: So the winner in novelettes, Not Long Enough, is:
A Murder Gone Wrong
by Jill Micayla
Al: And Honorable Mention goes to:
Turnabout Time by Tara G
School Metal Detectors by Jill Micayla
Charo: That was not so hard.
Al: Maybe the next one will be more -- difficult.
Charo: Si. I think you do not usually make this kind of joke.
Al: I'm married now; I had to find out what it was about first.
Charo: So no more songs about food?
Al: I didn't say that!
Charo: So now you sing about cucumbers and the clams, pues si?
Al: Moving right along -- you asked why they call me Weird Al, but surely your name is not really Charo?
Charo: Mi nombre es Maráa del Rosario Pilar Martánez Molina Baeza de Rasten.
Al: That name is longer than you are!
Charo: I think I maybe leave something out.
Al: But why Charo?
Charo: It means amber because I am so hot!
Al: Amber? Oh, ember! I can see that.
(He touches her butt, she sizzles and then he sucks on his fingers. She grins and shouts "Ay, yi, yi! Cuchi-cuchi!")
Al: Our last category, but not the last category, is Novellas - Too Long.
Charo: No hay cosa si. No such thing.
Al: Nevertheless, we have a winner:
A Perfect Match?
by Julie O
Charo: And this was so close, we give a second place prize, tambien, also:
Dragons, Fairies, and Elves, Oh My!
by Grover
Al: And that's it for our part of the show, folks.
Charo: You know, Senor Al, I just think of something. You and I both start in the show business when we are just teenagers, verdad?
Al: Yeah, but you were a teenager for much longer than me.
Charo: Say good night, Al.
Al: Good night, Al. Good night, Charo. Good night, everybody.
And now here to present the Honorable Mentions in the Novel category; The Radio City Music Hall Rockettes!
(Rockettes enter dancing, each one saying one or two words, they dance on, across the stage and off.)
Rockettes: Since the What's so Novel Contest Doesn't End
for Six More Months, No Prize was Given at This Time, Instead,
Two Stories Earned Honorable Mentions for the Number of Votes They Got:
Leeway by Justme
Being Christina Chase by Admiral Krunch
(The Rockettes re-enter dancing the other way across the stage but at the end of the line this time are Weird Al and Mayor Guliani in Rockette costumes.)
Al: Always wanted to do this!
Rudi: Ever consider a career in politics?
(Charo and Hillary enter, wearing pants suits and clapping.)
Hillary: That's pretty novel!
Charo: Pues si! Ay-yi-yi! Cuchi-cuchi!
Hillary: What she said!
Short Short - Too Short1. Shoes by Heather Rose Brown
HM. Side Effects by Jamie Lou
HM. Maiden 'gina by Jennifer Brock
HM. Blue Moon by Donna LambShort Story - Not Short Enough
1. Dentistry for Gifted Equines by Randalynn
2. Bait and Switch by Julie O
HM. The Dirt Farmer's Son by Jill Micayla
HM. Turning Tables by ItinerantNovelette - Not Long Enough
1. A Murder Gone Wrong by Jill Micayla
HM. Turnabout Time by Tara G
HM. School Metal Detectors by Jill MicaylaNovella - Too Long
1. A Perfect Match? by Julie O
2. Dragons, Fairies, and Elves, Oh My! by GroverNovel - What's so Novel?
HM. Leeway by Justme
HM. Being Christina Chase by Admiral Krunch
Click below to see the entries in the "When Things Go Wrong" Story Contest by category if you STILL haven't read them yet.
Short-Short Stories - Too Short - under 1500 words
Short Stories - Not Short Enough - up to 8,000 words
Novelettes - Not Long Enough - 7,000 to 20,000 words
Novellas - Too Long - 15,000 to 50,000 words
and:
Novels - What's so Novel? - 40,000 words and up
- Erin
Comments
Do we get celebrity hosts again?
The excitement builds.
The red carpet is laid, layed, rolled out.
I am so excited.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Winners, please read
First and Second place Winners are eligible to receive $25 through Paypal, check or money order. Please message me as Erin to accept or decline the award and give instructions on delivery. Declined awards will be recycled for the next contest. :)
Hugs and thanks to all authors, readers and voters.
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
A big thank you ...
... to everyone who voted, and everyone who voted for my story. *smile* I'm surprised and happy that I won, considering all the terrific entries in the category.
*channeling a bit of Sally Field, tears stream down my face* You LIKE me, right now! You REALLY like me!" *grins*
Thanks again, everybody! *hugs*
Randalynn
Um, Randa, are you sure?
That could be the MASK you are channeling.
Now Sally in the prime was cute but Jim Carry in green latex? Dear lady, that look is not you.
Congrads to all, and special congrads to Randalynn, Grover, Jill Micayla, and Itinerant, all people how have helped me to be what I am today. The court summons are on the way.
I'd better get going on my magnum opus -- fat penguin -- for Noveber and give the two Honorable mentions in *What so novel about it* some competion.
Sorry for not mentioning the rest but all the winners were worthy stories.
I would argue Donna's Blue Moon was in the wrong catagory as it is a continuing serial but then where would it fit? Sorry, but Shoes was a compact juggernaut, all you folks in the Too Short catagory.
Itinerant, if your muse returns and you do more with your *witchy woman* Rachel, maybe Conversion Tables can enter the What's so novel about it catagory?
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Conversion Tables?
Ummmm ...
"Conversion Tables" is your story, John. "Turning the Tables" is Rachel's tale.
Maureen (the muse in question for those not in the know) hasn't wandered off, she's just been giving me a much needed break to deal with rude reality.
We haven't had many talks about Rachel's next story, though there are some ideas being bounced back and forth.
Nicole is next, and Maureen wants to do another interlude. She said something about introducing some of Nicole's great-great-great...grandchildren.
Itinerant
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Give me a brrreak
It was early in the morning and I didn't sleep well.
Brain in idle mode, typing fingers enguaged and oops!
Um, all that great great requires begatting on a certain redheads part. Niocole in love, a woman who can bend steel rebar into circles, is fightening thing.
Best wishes.
John in Wauwatosa, I think
John in Wauwatosa
Frightening?
Just because she's a 4th degree black belt?
And yes, she's going to be bit by the 'mommy bug' during the first stretch of time she'll have to properly raise her kids.
And her spouse-to-be will be coming on stage in a couple of years (story time).
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Congratulations
Randa and to all of the winners. Fun contest, thanks Erin.
Gwen
Gwen Lavyril
Gwen Lavyril
Winners
Good job to all.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Congratulations to the Winners!
This contest was a pain, as trying to settle on a rational first, second, and third place was nearly impossible.
Heather Rose, Randalynn, Julie O, Jill Micayla, Grover, Justme, and Admiral Krunch definitely deserve their accolades.
Bravo!
(stands and cheers)
Itinerant
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
A word...
Many good stories in the contest did not get even a Mention. This happens in contests, especially ones based on popular voting. It's the nature of the beast.
Writing stories has to be its own goal here.
Congratulations to the winners and consolation to everyone else. :)
Hugs to all,
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
The BEST
It has been said before that much of the writings here are as good as any you can find on the best sellers table at your local distributor of choice. Of course the subject matter is different but that is the mainstream's lost and our gain! Erin's contest brings out some the best writers and I am flabbergasted to be included among them not to say thrilled to have my scribbles actually win something. I guess I am immature enough to admit to a victory dance when I got the news. Congrats to everyone particularly Erin who has once more teased out some of everyones best work from us. I'll close with 'Party at John's House!'
Hugs
grover
Thanks to the people who believe in me
When I came to this site I was but a reader. I was highly impressed by the authors who wrote here. One of them took the time out of their busy schedule to actully proofread and edit a re-written story I had at another site. I submittted the story and received accolades that made my head swell. Now I have a story that won a prize.
I like this site so well, I will refuse to accept the prize for my own benefit and ask that it be used to support this site.
Congratulaions to all, even if your story did not receive a prize you still have a following. To me that is one of the rewards of writng to see some one elses satisfaction with what my imagination can produce.
So to Angela, Hope as well as Holly and John. Thank you for beleiving in me and being my second set of eyes. To every one else thank you for reading what I have written and writing comments after you have read my story.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Tough to judge
This was a hard contest to vote on. Congrats to the winners, and those who didn't come out on top, it was close -- more than the last contest, IMO.
Aardvark
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Mahatma Gandhi
Lots of pro magazines ...
... WISH they had quality submissions like a BC story contest. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
That's not all
...they wish for; they wish they had a managing editor like BC's too.
GRATZ! Too the winners (but the readers really won IMO).
Hugs;
Jan
Oh my goodness!
*squealing excitedly*
I feel so honored. The popularity of Shoes really took me by surprise. Thank you everyone for all your encouragement and support. It really has made writing that much more worthwhile.
*linking arms with Weird Al Yankovic and dancing off stage with the Rockettes*
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Heather Rose Brown
Author of Bobby's Rainy Day Adventure
Congrats
To all the winners and runners up. A lot of good stories and a personal challenge to write one, which was partly the point. Thanks Erin for the work you do to make this place. And to all the Authors and Visitors that help it along.
Congatulations to all...winners or not.
Kristina
Thank You for voting for my stories.
First, I would like thank everyone who reads my stories. While I don't post a lot of comments, I read all of them related to my stories and the Julieverse. I do appreciate your comments, even though i don't often reply.
I need to thank my wonderful...fantastic...Patient...editor,Amelia R. To be honest, the term editor doesn't really fit her, as she does so much more in terms of contributing to my stories. Thank you so much Amelia.
I wish to donate my winnings to maintaining this great site.
Again, thank you all. There are more stories coming. Yes, there will be more stories with Jirra. Yes, there will be more stories with Iona. Yes, Ally will be back, along with many others as I have no intention of stopping anytime soon.
Love,
Julie O
It was an honor to have been mentioned
Thanks to whoever it was that threw me a vote. I knew that other story was a shoe-in to win the category, so to speak. I just didn't have time to finish anything longer before the deadline.
Anyone who cares to is welcome to continue my story, just throw an acknowledgement in my direction. I don't have any inspiration for a direction to take it in, and I'm busy working on other stuff.
Golly!
I'm with the rest of you, delighted to be mentioned. Thanks for voting everyone who did.
I'm not sure (a bit blonde this week) whether an HM is the same as second, but if it is, then please keep any money, I didn't write for that.
Love
Tara
x
The strangest journeys start with a single step.
The strangest journeys start with a single step.