I dunno, maybe it's just me. I'm a grumpy old bitch, yeah so I'm 40 that's old, talk to any High School kid. Ancient probably but what do those little twits know.

Part of me wants to applaud this kid, admire her chutspa, curtsey to her guts to bare her soul in front of her peers. I mean hell... that's a good thing right? It all aids the general diaspora, the wider acceptance, the great public knowledge? She's a fuckin' hero for the oppressed. Sigh...

Yet part of me feels that it's all self publicity. Yeah okay, I'm past news and the internet wasn't about and 15 minutes as stated by good ol' Andy wasn't reduced to 5 because every Tom Dick and Jane had a phone camera that posted up and went viral as some poor schlub showed what idiots people often are. Shows like Idol or X factor didn't exist, the worst you could expect was some dick with a camera showing a setup on some mindless TV show. Funny how watching someone self destruct is funny. I never thought so, I despise practical jokes. The TV news wasn't made up of shaky phone cam crap of vague interest mostly. Of course sometimes... see Egypt and the like.

The whole... now is the moment and I wanna' be famous and let the chips fall thing is so self centred and short sighted... I want to throw things and yell a lot. But of course many will cheer and say it's self expression and that's good and of course no one is less or not as good as another or simply lacking talent or not quite there... I mean hell, everyone is perfect and all Gods chillin' are beautiful. Never mind reality and history and human bloody nature.

Is it a Western thing? I mean most of the human race are not obsessed with happiness or rights or personal worth. They simply struggle to exist as best they can. Yet I am part of that so what does that make me?

I look at a lot of things I read and try to understand and reach a feeling of where the planet, the universe, my world.. IS. Mostly I don't get there of course but I try. I know quite a lot, yet my knowledge is pathetic and mostly worthless. I'm nobody in the widest sense. Yet I am. For better or worse maybe.

Does this kid know what she's doing? Does she understand even half of what she's saying? Does she realise that you toss something out there... it's out there FOREVER. Is she ready for that? But of course she is mature beyond the years I might have been at the same age.... maybe. Knowledge is power and there's so bloody much now.

Sometimes I look and mutter..Get a bloody life, for Gods sake... walk out the door, look at the world see the people that pass, smell the god damned roses, feel the breeze or whatever.... It is what it is, you have to live and be and do and thus show by existing. Maybe she does that, perhaps I'm selling her short, maybe she's smarter than I ever was or will be... more than possible... Maybe she sees what I cannot?

But mostly I just sigh and wonder..is this a good thing? I really don't know.

Yours in troubled puzzlement

Kristina