I blithely expected my kids to be accepting when I told them I was transgendered; after all, I'd modeled acceptance to them all their lives. So telling them would be a piece of cake! Right??
Wrong
My oldest told my wife the only reason he didn't yell at me when I told him was because we were traveling down the freeway at 75 MPH in a driving rain and I was practically comatose huddled against the door.
My middle son said nothing. Of course that means little since he normally says almost nothing.
My youngest is 19 years old. If you have children, you know what that means. Total self-assurance and the world has to do what he says. His comment when I told him? "You're disgusting!" And yes, that hurt a lot...
Well that was four or five months ago, and while no one wants to embrace the reality of my being transgendered, no one is yelling at me, well except for my youngest, and he yells at everything, parent, or object; animate or inanimate, he doesn't care!
Last night, my wife came in the house panicked because she heard a sloshing sound in her car. My youngest went out and returned with the message the trunk must have leaked, the spare wheel well is flooded.
I asked that he go and see if he could drain it.
Well that was too much. He couldn't be bothered. He had diagnosed the problem and that was that!
His mom and I both asked/told/begged/whatever that he see what he could do.
Nope, nothing.
So, in a major Snit I pulled on my shoe and rolled in my wheelchair out to see what I could do.
My son wasn't happy with my Snit Fit. He yelled at me as I was about to go outside. "You are Such a Girl!!" he yelled in disgust.
With a smile, I turned to him and replied, "Exactly, Thank you, I've been telling you THAT for months!"
He shut up, totally shut down.
Awww... Silence. Pure Bliss!
My wife's car, like every other car had a plug in the bottom of the well. I pulled it, and the water drained out. I got soaked, but didn't care.
Willingly, whether he meant it or not, He had acknowledged that I was a girl. After that, nothing else fazed me for the night!!
Duh, I Am a Girl....
Comments
Never under estimate
the power of a truly girly fit. I'm finding it really funny that he got a reality check. Gender I believe's hardwired so when you threw the girly fit his Male brain had no choice but go uhm...der...That's a girl.
I love Karma.
Hopefully this might just shock the rest of them into seeing the Beautiful Woman that God let into their lives.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
With all due respect
What lovely children you have. Not. It also sadly reminds me that it is still a pretty hostile world out there for trans folks, God knows if people who react that way could have become violent if they were not your children. So, a gentle reminder to all: please work on the passing thing for your piece of mind.
Hang in there.
Kim
Beautiful Children
Since you have older children you know that the maturation between 19 and 25 can be astounding.
People under the age of parenting seem to demand perfection from their parents. Once they've taken on the responsibility of nurturing on a full-time basis they gain a wondrous new perspective.
It's called wisdom . . . accumulated knowledge.
What is said in anger can be revealing . . . or it might be thoughtless. Maybe he gained insight, and that would be great.
***
"It's not that easy being green."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpiIWMWWVco
Listen to the words and reflect on the advantages of being who you are.
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
I suggest that you tear up his chair under the table card.
No, seriously. If I had pulled that with my Amish Step Father, I would not be alive today. At some point there needs to be consequences for ones actions.
Much peace
Khadijah
PS Inshallah, I will be home tomorrow before this time.
Been there Done that
Beth,
When I transitioned my oldest son who was 21 at the time totally stopped talking to me. It took him 10 years to overcome his problems with me.
But now we are very close! The catalyst was the passing of my wife. We had not been living together but were still married. So when he tried to
arrange for the funeral he found out he needed my permission in writiing. Well we had to talk and so we continued talking. He let me know that he
had wanted to make-up for a while but was too ashamed to do it. That was 3 years ago and we are now very close as well as my younger son.
So these things may take time, but if they truly love you they will overcome their difficulties with you!!
Hugs,
Pamela