"Oh, mother! Older sisters passing down the culture, the trappings of the hallowed halls of academe... that's not hand-me-down! That's tradition!" Lynda kissed Craig on the ear and then whispered. "That's my hug, all day long."
---
By lunch, Karen had sketched and folded a card that the other girls said was perfect, already, and she didn't need to change a thing, and they all signed it, even if she thought it still needed more work.
Colleen said it was beautiful. She looked at it a long time, at the curving lines that somehow matched her feelings.
It made Karen feel proud, then guilty, watching her, looking at her art.
----
By lunch, Craig was talking on his own, still whispering, but talking in more than single words and feeling a lot better. After lunch he met with his shrink again.
----
By the time school was out he was home and Lynda was curled up with him on the sofa under two layers of comforter and a pile of pillows and stuffed animals, watching a truly dumb reality show. She was watching, anyway. He was dozing, warm for the first time all day. Emotionally warm.
The doorbell chimed and Margaret opened it after a shoulder check on the kids, who both looked okay.
Megan was there, looking serious, not her usual smile or excitement, and there were eight... ten girls with her. They all looked serious.
"Hi, Miz Danvers. We, um, we... these are my friends, Craig's friends, and they're all from the school, from Craig's homeroom and... I guess his math and english classes, and this's Karen and she made a card for him we all signed...."
A tall girl, very pretty, Margaret noticed, shuffled at the sound of her name. They all looked upset.
It was blowing and cold outside, and with that thought she noticed several cars at the curb, waiting parents, maybe. She gave them a quick smile.
"Okay, girls, wait just a moment and I'll check to see if he can see you? Just a moment, okay?" They all nodded. She smiled at Megan and softly closed the door. Then she crossed to the sofa and sat lightly on the coffee table.
"Some of your classmates are here to give you a card. Is it okay if they come in? You look fine and, Lynda, you too." She noticed the look in her older daughter's eyes as she considered the quilts, all that could be seen, except their heads. "They know you've been off sick today."
Lynda turned to Craig, a leaning of her head, and they had one of those little glance-conversations they used to have all the time, and were just a little closer for a second, as if that were possible.
"Okay, Mom." Lynda spoke for both of them. Craig's eyes had... it was like he'd spoken too. Margaret nodded and smiled, and went to the door.
"Alright, girls, come on in... please take off your shoes?" It was still damp from the rain.
They trooped in, a little vortex of boots, shoes, bending and coats, and then all stood, facing the sofa.
Megan had kicked off her boots and hurried into the living room before everyone else to sit beside Craig and put her hand on the quilt. She leaned close and whispered.
"I didn't say anything, it's just a sick day, okay?"
Lynda moved at the same time Craig blinked and whispered a thank you. Megan knew what his speaking meant and her eyes sparkled.
Everyone else came over and Megan named them all for Lynda and Mrs. Danvers, and Karen and Nayleen said they sorta remembered Lynda from their first year when she was a senior. Lynda grinned and said she never paid attention to freshies and they grinned back and it broke the ice.
After Nayleen nudged her, Karen waved a paper at waist level.
"I made this, sort of a get well and welcome card and... we hope you're feeling better? We all signed it...."
She held out a folded sheet of parchment, or rough paper, and when Craig opened it there was a smaller, fine sheet with an ink drawing of a rosebud. It looked like it was painted, or drawn with a brush. He looked up.
"You made this?" His eyes were wide and he whispered. Karen nodded.
"Look inside... in the bigger paper." Nayleen motioned opening it.
He unfolded the rough paper and there were dozens of names and little notes and drawings, like hearts and curly flowers and a fancy star. A Hello Kitty.
"We just wanted to get you something, tell you we hope you feel better and we missed you and Karen is a really great artist... and... made this...."
He looked up and Nayleen had tears on her cheeks. "And we wanted you to know... we, that we...." she started breathing too hard and closed her eyes and Karen and Naomi took her arms. Craig looked down and hid.
"They prolly know what happened, before, and it's okay with them." Lynda whispered it really quietly, but they could've heard her. He ducked further, looking at the card again, the picture. It was really beautiful.
Lynda moved or something, and he looked up again, at Karen and Nayleen. And Naomi and Candy and... and everyone.
"Thank you, it's really beautiful, and... thank you...." He looked at them all as he hoarse-whispered.
Nayleen nodded at the floor and the rest moved and nodded and smiled and Karen smiled really big at him.
"You're welcome. Now you have to come back Monday and be the prettiest new student in class and show up the freshies, okay?"
Everyone nodded, even the freshies, and he did too, trying to hide his burning cheeks by looking closely at the card again.
"Okay...."
After a second's awkward silence, Lynda shoulder-shoved him over into Megan.
"Okay?! Is that the way we raised you!" Lynda barely got it out around a laugh. "Now be gracious and properly introduce everyone!"
After a second she spazzed and laughed anyway.
----
"Hey! Craig ~is~ a freshie!" Candy yelled.
----
It was only a few minutes visit for some of them since Karen, Colleen, Angela, Nancy and Barb all had to go home with their parents and rides, but Naomi, Nayleen, Megan, Candy and Shelly said they could stay a while after Lynda volunteered to drive them and they'd cleared it with their parents.
-
Before she left, Karen hugged him so hard it hurt and he grunted and Shelly laughed. "Neanderthal!"
Karen grunted. "Ugh! Him ready, all soft and squishy!" Then she squeezed him again, gently and whispered, "I'll call tonight, okay?"
He whispered ok and thanks for the card.
----
When they were settled, Lynda shucked one of the comforters off to the side and sat up a bit more, settling Craig into her side.
"So, you hang out with this bunch? I don't know if they meet my approval...."
"Lynda!" their mom play-scolded from the kitchen.
"Well, Mom, they look like tramps! Craig looks like a proper Balantines' girl and they all look like extras on some street scene, maybe a comedy...."
"Hey, I had a blazer too!" Megan pointed at Craig's school blazer, or at the front hall closet. Or the door. Maybe east. "Yesterday, anyway."
"Borrowed beauty and rented class...." Lynda rolled her eyes and waved her free hand dramatically and everyone groaned or laughed.
"And hand-me-downs?" Margaret laughed from the kitchen.
"Oh, mother! Older sisters passing down the culture, the trappings of the hallowed halls of academe... that's not hand-me-down! That's tradition!" Lynda kissed Craig on the ear and then whispered. "That's my hug, all day long."
Craig teared up and hid, and all the girls did awww.
-
They told them what happened, or what went wrong the day before and that Mrs. Higgins and the rest had come over, and it wasn't anyone's fault. Nayleen needed more comforting than anyone, even Craig.
-
After a while, after it was more about things like who was nice and stories about his classes and who they all knew, Nayleen made Megan switch with her and she took Craig's arm, and just sat, listening to everyone.
After a much longer while, she whispered that she wanted to talk to him, alone, if she could?
Lynda gave him a little question and she saw an answer before he even thought, but she pulled the last quilt off and he quickly pulled his dad's t-shirt down more, then got up with Nayleen.
----
They sat on his bed yoga-style, knees touching. She looked down and then reached over to take his hands. Then she just sat, looking down, twisting his hands a little.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, whispered, but felt like he shoulda been even more quiet.
She stopped moving. After a few seconds she took a breath.
"I don't want to... to hurt you," she looked up in his eyes. "I mean, I really like you and you're sweet, I mean... I don't...."
She looked down more, then at him.
"Just stop me if I'm being stupid and please, please, I don't mean anything bad, okay? Really?" She looked all over his face.
He nodded a little. He still felt safe with her. She stared at their hands and took a deep breath. And talked at their hands.
"My aunt, my... she used to be my uncle, she's transsexual... she's my aunt now, and it's great, but she was...."
His hands tightened in hers. After a long time, seconds, she looked up and he was wide-eyed, his mouth open.
"I mean, I was just, I hang out, visit with her sometimes and we, she has friends, like her, and we joke around and shop and stuff...." She was almost crying, trying to find the right words, not hurt him, and still make sense.
"And it's like, the neat thing is how some of them, some of her friends are just starting, just coming out and not really changed, and when we joke around or talk or whatever...." She pulled his hands a tiny bit closer.
"They're girls, or... women, and even if they look, some of them, look like boys...."
They both sat quietly. Differently, but quietly. Nayleen looked up at last. He was crying. She bounced her legs free and pulled him over, holding her.
----
Lynda was sort of mad and sorta normal. But loud... and scary, somehow....
Her mother interrupted whatever she was going to say next.
"That's enough, Lynda. Alright, what were you two doing in here that brought on all these tears?" She didn't seem too upset either, even if she sounded serious.
Nayleen cringed even though she didn't really feel like it was bad. Even if almost everybody did, about....
"Mom!" Lynda had Craig and was mostly making sure he was warm or something, pulling up the blanket from off the side of the bed. Mrs. Danvers looked at her like she didn't need attitude.
Nayleen knew the look. She figured she'd better explain quickly. "It's just... it's, I noticed, or... I saw some stuff I...."
She didn't have any real reason, and still might have just scared him, or insulted him, but she hadn't. Even if his sister thought he had to not... not ~think~, or something!
Her Aunt Sarah said if she'd only had the chance earlier it would have been the best thing in her life. They all did, even the young ones. They all talked about 'what if I could've done this when I was little?' And Craig had a chance. .So she had to ask. Had to
She asked Mrs. Danvers if they could talk in the hall. She touched Craig's arm before she left, and smiled. He looked scared, but after a second, nodded and then hid. She nodded too, even if he couldn't see.
In the hall she hugged herself, hoping she wasn't gonna start an argument or something. And talking with Craig had put it all together, so she looked up and dove in, speaking quietly so her friends downstairs wouldn't hear. And maybe Lynda and Craig.
"I have an aunt who's transsexual, who used to be my uncle, and I know a lot of her friends, who're like her." She watched to see, and Mrs. Danvers wasn't mad. At all. She was more interested. But she still hurried.
"And I think Craig might be... be like them. Someone like them." She still felt like it was a bad thing to say about someone, even if it wasn't.
"It's not bad or anything, just different, and my aunt says the worst thing is to not find out earlier, or if... they all say that...."
"It's alright, dear." Mrs. Danvers put her hand on her tightly held arms. "We've thought of that, and talk about it with his counselor, and for now we're just letting him find his way, okay?"
Nayleen didn't understand. "Find...?"
"His psychiatrist says it might be too much, the trial and all that he has to deal with, if he is transgendered, but it's not bad, or a secret. Understand?"
Nayleen looked at her and tried to think. "So the makeup and... and his blouse?"
"If he wants to try things like that, it's okay." She smiled. "By the way, he really liked what you all did with the makeup, if you want to show him how to do it himself."
"He did? He said that? I mean, I didn't, Karen did mostly, but he did?"
"Yes, though he won't admit it, he did. He was very happy with the way he looked." She smiled broadly at Nayleen. "You girls have been good friends to him. Thank you."
----
Robert let himself in from the garage door.
All the girls arrayed around the living room, mostly on the sofa, looked nervous, or guilty. Except Megan. She grinned at him and waved hi.
"Everyone, this is Craig's father. Mr. Danvers, this is everyone from school: Naomi, Nayleen, Megan, Candace and Shelly." She ticked off as she pointed around the gang. "Craig and Lyn and Miz D are upstairs. Family conference." She grinned again.
Robert looked at the red eyes some of the girls sported, and the pile of blankets. And Megan. She wouldn't be chipper if it were bad.
He smiled at the rest. These were the girls Craig was so happy with as his friends.
"You're Craig's classmates?" He stepped into the room after draping his jacket over the stair railing. "It's good to meet you."
----
Craig and Lynda and their mom came down the stairs together. Craig had found some pajama pants.
Nayleen stood up and then sat down, not really knowing what to say or do, different than the others. Or different from before. That Craig had hardly said anything. Or that Mrs. Danvers said he was finding his way. So maybe nothing was different, but at least... well, he was okay. And they seemed like, like it was all normal. She wanted to talk with her aunt.
Mrs. Danvers went over to sit with Mr. Danvers in the big armchairs. He was nice, she thought, and a lot like Craig.
Craig sat between Megan and Candace and then Lynda mashed Candy out of the way by just sitting down where she was and making her and Craig scooch apart. But she smiled at her or something, and Candy just laughed. Nayleen smiled, too. Watching them made it normal....
Then, when she was settled, Lynda looked around at all the girtls, serious.
"Okay. Craig has issues around dark places, so no fooling with that. And no teasing, no sarcasm, no dirty tricks and ~no~ jokes about his older sister... and we'll all get along." She pulled Craig even closer in a one-armed hug and pointed at him. "Craig." She pointed at herself. "Older sister."
Naomi sat forward and looked confused. "Sooo... no teasing or sarcasm or stuff... about Craig?"
Lynda scowled like it wasn't ~that~ complicated.
Naomi nodded, all serious. Then she addressed Craig. "Did you know your sister talks about herself in the third person?"
"Hey! Sitting right here! And she ~heard~ that!" Lynda growled. Naomi broke up.
-
Nayleen ~really~ wanted to talk to her aunt....
----
Robert sat on the bedside, his hand unmoving on Craig's back. He compared his hand to Lynda's: how much larger his was, blunt, hairy... a man's hand.
He thought about Craig's hands, hidden under the sheets.
He thought about smiling faces, and tears.
He thought about the picture Marg had shown him.
----
His tone of voice changed a little, and Margaret turned her attention up a notch.
"I know Dr. Lebel said we should let him find his own way and not ask questions, and the trial and all... but that girl..."
"Nayleen?" She figured out what he was going to say.
"Yeah. You said, what her aunt said, says, and how he's...." He had to think of a way to put everything in one idea. Margaret waited.
"He's like me, like John. Like all the men in my family. He's starting late but he's gonna grow maybe six inches this year or next, put on about 20 pounds of muscle, and be shaving in six months."
"And? What are ~you~ thinking?"
Robert smiled a little sideways at her. "Do you ask me that to find out what I think or just to make me say them?"
Margaret laughed a little, "Oh, a little of both... but tell me."
Her husband rolled over to face her all the way and propped his head up on a hand.
"I'm thinking that maybe we should all talk about things now instead of waiting to see what Craig discovers on his own." He blinked to another page.
"With the video testimony and how that's going to be better for him, I think the... that a lot of his stress might be from gender stuff too, especially with school." He looked in her eyes, left, right.
"And I'm thinking you already knew that and were waiting to see when ~I~ was gonna figure it out...."
Margaret laughed a note.
Robert smiled back at the love of his life.
"I want to give him time to find out what he wants. ~And~ I think if it's safe like those articles say, we should talk with him about those hormones that can give him time."
Margaret rolled over to snuggle against the love of ~her~ life.
"Have I ever told you how incredibly sexy I find smart men?"
----
----
Instead of just stopping at the curb, Lynda parked the car, and as her brother clambered out she asked him to wait up for her. Though the rain had stopped, the wind seemed to have picked up and her hair swirled into her face as she came around. When he looked the question of why she was coming too, she just took his hand.
"I need to go see Mizz Warkington about something." Holding her hair out of her eyes with her other hand, she looked him over and brushed a speck off his, her old blazer. "Alumna business... you wouldn't understand." Her hair blew apart, again.
She could tell he was just about to ask what 'alumna' meant when Nayleen shouted at him from the doors where she and Karen were hiding from the drips that still fell just there, where they'd catch everyone.
"C'mon, Cee! We've got time before homeroom if you hurry!" They waved like he couldn't see them, and he waved back, giving his sister a quick apology smile and hug goodbye.
Lynda laughed as he ran, the wind picking up his skirt.
~Her~ skirt. She had to keep remembering that....
Hand-me-downs or not, all-day hugs or not, they were hers now.
----
The End
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Comments
Well whadda-u-know
That was quick :)
I barely cranked out a commentary at ch.03 questioning what would happen with all this and that, and wham! Here is ch.04 and all is answered quick and clean.
Ok. Well, thank you. It was a good story.
Jo-Anne
It's over?
It's over? already?
Awww..
The ending, pretty and loving as it is seems a bit rushed and sudden. I was kinda expecting to read more about the coming out at school, support by her friends as she discovers more about herself, and maybe even that by being herself as a girl that she would be strong enough for the hearing.
Still,i loved this story and hey..maybe that stuff is for a sequal?
Love,
Amber
Endings, long stories, etc.
As I said earlier, with respect to resolutions and alllllllll the issues and conflicts in this tale:
I wanted to explore the old, fake saying, "In Chinese, crisis and opportunity are the same word."
I was lucky in my life. I faced a crisis early on.
I was unlucky in that it wasn't on paper. I'm remedying that.
I don't- didn't want to explore all the themes of TG fiction, I'm not that kind of writer (or that kinda gal).
My characters live on a little stage and act out a small play, in this case, four-acts. I feel this one will have succeeded if you laugh, cry, smile and can whistle one of the tunes from it the next day.
I have written long novels (one of which I shall, sooner or later, repost here) and even a soap opera. 2012 is a short slice of life.
Thanks for the thoughts,
Michelle
There are a million stories in the naked city: take your clothes off and tell us one!
A short slice of life.
It was a great cake you baked Michelle!
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Very sweet.
The end felt a bit rushed, but I liked it. The innocence was heart-warming.
Well Michelle, You
answered the question about Craig. Will you continue the story?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Very powerful story!
I like the way it vividly explores PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,) and the aftermath of bullying and rape. Somehow, the feelings are vividly portrayed without overwhelming or desensitizing the reader.
I'm not a fan of dark fiction, but I can't really call this story dark. Yes, it addresses some very dark issues. On the other hand, there is plenty of love, and there is no sense of hopelessness.
There is a big difference between traveling through the valley, and being stuck there.
While I would like to see more about the trial (its result, if nothing else,) and I would like to see a little more detail about Craig's decisions and journey, all the essential elements are there.
Lastly, Michelle, you did a wonderful job of filling in the details of the backstory. You started the story in a good place, and filled in the details at a pace that was fast enough to avoid frustrating us, but slow enough to avoid the 'info dump' syndrome. That is the talent of a true storyteller.
I like the way that you showed us the horror without rubbing our faces in it. You focused on the aftermath, which is actually the important part.
Well done!
Ray Drouillard
Yea tho I walk through the Valley of
began an old saying that was used by my friends. No, it's not the prayer that you learned as a child. It is what comes to my mind after reading your story.
Interesting dialog, with hints and highlights filled your story. Characters filled with a mixture of emotions flowed ranging from the violence projected by the father to the terror felt by classmates. Vivid and upsetting are my best description. A good, XXXXX scratch that, GREAT story. Some of it feels like you are just hearing enough to wonder what the heck happened, almost like eaves dropping.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Ending seems rushed.
You spent three chapters developing Craig as a character with a very real problem, yet somehow it all gets resolved in this chapter, apparently because his TG tendencies were allowed to come out. While it doesn't spoil the story to end it this way, it does short-change it.
Endings
Hi, Jamie, and thanks for the feedback.
From yours and other comments, it seems I just don't know how to end my stories properly (or maybe in my universe, endings are different...)
I shall try to improve, and if I can, I'll post better endings.
I end the stories when the plot and character development elements which I saw as central are resolved.
Same planet, different world,
Michelle
Ending
That ending is you're style of writing, it end when it is resolved. Some would like to see all of the sub-plot resolved, but they are sub-plots so lets hope for the best for them.
I love the story.
Thank you
TMF,
I really appreciate your note. You've said just what I feel, and it helps a lot.
Thanks!!
Michelle
Not subplots.
It isn't really a matter of subplots, it's a matter of pacing. What it appears you're doing is "main plot is finished, so story's over". Basically, you're concluding the story right after its climax (in other words, going straight to the story's resolution). While that's not going to kill the story (since it is a personal choice), it tends to read better if you include some falling action to help smooth the way.
Think of it this way. If you imagine the story's plot as a diagram, you start with the exposition, then you go to the rising action which gradually slants up. Then, you reach the climax point, where everything is decided. After the climax comes the falling action, which deals with the repercussions of the climax and serves as a reverse slope, and finally the resolution (conclusion), which is the end of the story. Basically, you start by sloping up, hitting the peak, and then sloping back down (though it's a lot shorter than the rising action). What you did here is a slope that's almost vertical, kind of like going over a cliff at the end of the story.
That's probably the source of most of the complaints you're getting about your endings. Now, I will say that it's okay to do this. It might leave readers a bit dissatisfied at the end, but it is an acceptable way to end the story (movies do this a lot). But it's usually better if you let your readers down from the climax a bit more gently, especially in a written work where you don't have to hurry up and finish things.
I hope that explanation makes sense.
Sequel!!
I believe we deserve a sequel! Please, Please!
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Awww, a sweet, interesting
Awww, a sweet, interesting story that is way too short. Please consider writing a follow up to this "drama". J-Lynn
Tying up loose ends
I like to tie up all the loose ends with an epilogue. You kind of did that with the last seven paragraphs, since it's plain that Lynda is transitioning -- or at least exploring.
Epilogues are generally in synopsis form; or in the form of the main character mulling over all that has happened. In this case, you can have Lynda thinking about what it was like to witness, the results of the trial, and anything else that you feel needs to be tied up.
---
Again, it's an excellent story.
Ray Drouillard
Lovely story?
Dear Michelle.
I only just found this story after reading the blog where somebody was looking for it.
It's a very moving story but I could only comment on it after completing the last chapter.
The early stuff was just too much for me and I had issues trying to finish the 1st, 2nd and 3rd chapters.
Did stuff like this happen to you because some of the scenes you describe seem to get right to the bone?
The Business with the dark in the theatre ouch, just couldn't go there 1st time around.
Bedroom doors and sillouhettes in the landing lights are my main issues, but it gets the victims all ways.
If it did happen to you, how did you come to terms, that is if you've come to terms.
Ooohuuugh. I still get the shivers! This after 50 years. I'm 64.
Beverly.
liked it, but....
one small problem i have had since it began. There is never any explanation of why they put him in a girl's school to begin with. Assuming that they didn't know he was tg, it strikes me as very odd. What if he had been just a straight boy who happened to have been raped? Since he would already be dealing with shame from the assault, being the only boy surrounded by girls might have increased the feeling that he as a "sissy". Rather than needing permission to be a girl, he might need permission and even encouragement to explore his masculine side too. I am probably going to get blasted for this, but its just my opinion. great story though.
"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"
dorothycolleen
Girls' School
The first thing we need to understand is that he has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Like an arachnophobe wouldn't be able to function in a room full of spiders, he isn't going to be able to function in a school full of boys -- even if most or all of them mean him no harm. That means that the choice is either a girls' school, or home schooling. There are pros and cons to either solution.