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I took the site down today for a cool down. Things had suddenly gone from a few posts trading mostly civil comments to five or more hot flames in half an hour then five in five minutes. I had to leave for a bit and didn't feel it would be wise to leave the site open to comments that might stay up for hours and inflame more passions, so I shut things down. I'm back, but later tonight I'll be going to sleep and tomorrow I will be occupied with taking my mother to see the cancer doctor. Let's all try to be nice to one another.
Hugs,
Erin
Comments
Being Occupied.
Erin,
I hope and pray that everything comes out OK on your mother's doctor visit!
Ditto'
Ditto on what ChrisW wrote Erin!
Hugs!
grover
Thanks
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Thanks , Mom for the timeout
Erin,
I missed the flame, but sometimes even the best of us forget our manners in the heat of a discussion.
Maybe it's because on line we don't get the voice inflection and body-laguage of face-to-face conversation. I hope everyone involved has it out of their systems. I'm not one to judge, sometimes my mouth runs off before my brain catches up. I try to keep in mind a rule they taught me at one of my jobs long ago. It goes something like ...
*Make your point clearly. Avoid undue passion and then let it go. After a point further arguement only entrenches people in their beliefs rather than purswading them to yours.*
I hope your mom does well. I hope this doesn't mean she's at risk for brittle bones? Sounds like your both taking this serious. My mother ignored thyroid cancer until it was too late. I miss her still.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Healthy bones
Mom is in amazing good health for 82 but yes they are afraid that cancer in her bones could lead to a broken pelvis or spinal damage or at the least, a lot of pain. They think they've found it in time though, if I can keep her from making me nuts with her fashing. :) I'm not a worrier, Mom is. Today she somehow misplaced her billfold and is making me crazy looking for it though it has to be in the house somewhere.
hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
You have my heartfelt sympathy
I can empathize with you, Erin. My mom spent last Sunday through Tuesday in the hospital due to internal bleeding, so I've been balancing work, helping her in the evenings and whatever personal life I can manage with a severe sinus infection. Th whole thing can really take it out of you.
I hope your' mom's condition and quality of life improve, and I hope your world calms down enough to allow you some decent downtime.
You both will be in my prayers.
Karen J.
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
Francoise Sagan
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Tell your mum that when she
Tell your mum that when she goes a little bit too nutty, to settle down and make a "Nut-Sundae" Erin. Worrying never really solves anything, though ice-cream with nuts sprinkled over it normally does.
And about the flaming earlier: The strongest (best) steel always comes out of the hottest flame. ;)
We're all thinking of you guys.
Cathy.
Suggestion...
Instead of using after-the-fact moderation and taking the site down when it's too much, set Authorised Users in the Permissions page to Post Comments, but not Post Comments Without Approval. Create a new Role, say, Trusted Commenters, and in Permissions allow them to post comments without approval, and as you see fit add that Role to users whom you trust not to post flame. Take it away again if they misbehave.
Does mean there's a moderation queue to process, but it also means you can do so at leisure rather than riding the site in realtime to catch them after they've gone on the site, and thus also means the site itself can stay up if you go away for a bit. (At simplest it's also possible simply to turn off comments in Permissions, or at least turn off submission of new comments without approval, before going away, rather than turning off the whole site.)
Users' status as a trusted commenter or not is not up for negotiation, because it's really down to a measure of how much grief they're causing *you*.
Moderation vs. Liveness
I appreciate the suggestion Rachel but if I have to do the moderation thing, I'd rather just shut things down and find another way to occupy myself. I've done the moderation thing on other sites and it's more trouble than doing it this way. A handful of trusted people do have the capability to remove comments now but how fast comments show up and can be answered is one of the chief features of TS.
And unfortunately, most of the flames going back and forth were by long time members who ought to have known better. :)
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Erin
I do not know what the solution is for here. I am ashamed at what our own people have done. I have done a similar thing in the past. All I know is I do not want you to get a breakdown over this. I know you have real life problems outweighing this site. Both together are too much for anyone. I do not know what to suggest or offer to help.
Sephrena hugs Erin and hopes and prays for her mother and Erin.
Please find peace within yourself and some solution for here given time.
I apologize for all of us for having caused you grief in a time when it was not needed.
Love
Sephrena Lynn Miller