Expect your heating bill to go up this fall and winter because cold temperatures can cause great pain especially on the arms which you will need to keep covered. I am also type II diabetic and also have Fibromyalgia with Sleep Apnea. For the chronic fatique you should try nuvigil or provigil which will give you a boost in energy without affecting thryroids or blood pressure. It is a psesudo speed pill without the bad effects and the without addictive problems.

Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset

Hi Andrea, (May I call you that?)

Sorry to learn that you have been diagnosed with Fibro- but at least you now have a diagnosis and therefore something to hang any future potential treaments on.
I firmly believe that stress contributes very significantly to such neurological aspects of Fibro and that stress severly affects the secretions to and from the brain. We call ourselves survivors but at what neurological cost. The stress of abuse both childhood and sexual stays with us forever as you well know.
Sadly TLC does not travel well by electronic communication for even the best and most sympathetic words are as dust compared with a gentle prolonged hug. (No too tight because of the Fibro.)

I read your comments to Angharad about Bike 1065 and I recognise your hurt. It affects everybody differently and thus I cannot be judgemental about what she wrote nor judgemental about other's responses.
Here is my take on Bike 1065 and I hope to have attached a copy of what I wrote to Angharad.

I never seek help from physicians because of my primordial distrust of them. However, reading Bike 1065 enabled me to shed a lot of private, self-indulgent tears and that is tantamount to therapy for me.

Here is a copy of the letter I sent Angharad.

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With this message:
From: Beverly Taff
To: Angharad
Subject: Bike 1065.
Date: Mon, 2010/07/26 - 1:48pm

Truly Angharad, you dealt with this issue well, especially for one who freely admits to never having been there.
Much of the stuff you described was accurate and very realistic and it demonstrates your very perspicacious grasp of the issues. Yes; I'll freely admit that reading such stuff can be painful for those of us who've been raped whether it's just once or systematically for months or years. Reading of this naturally resurrects very painful memories but the ensuing grief that spews out onto the comments pages helps others to get an insight into the hurt.
Just like others who have 'been there' I also suffer a reminder of my past every time I defaecate insofar as I have to sit only on my right buttock then press two fingers against the LHS of my sphincter to ease the strain on the permanantly weakend scar tissue that was never properly repaired and is now my own permanant reminder.

(Do I hear you saying too much information?)

To be reminded thus at least once or sometimes twice a day means that other reminders like violent scenes on television or graphic passages in print adds nothing much to the burden for me. The burden never seems to change or lighten no matter what the scenario or circumstance. Rape victims carry it howsoever they must just like victims of car accidents are permanantly confined to a wheel-chair and have to deal with that as they must. The only difference being that the rape burden is almost always invisible and if a victim talks too much about it they are accused of 'wearing their hearts on their sleeves'. They make themselves unpopular if they go on and on about it so eventually they end up bottling it up.

This is where your type of story does some good.

It enables victims/survivors to have a good blast and perhaps relieve their frustation and pent up anger by putting their feelings into print without being accused of 'harping on'

That's what it does for me but I can't speak for others. All I know is that there is no requittal for me now. It all happened pre-1965 at the borstal and that gave the rapists crown immunity, just as it still does in HMP today.
The weak still get raped in prison especially the sex offenders.
I have mixed feelings about this and find it hard to reconcile my feelings either way.
My personal anger stems from the fact I had commited no crimes.

Now,I'm just glad it's all behind me. (Bad choice of words but there we are.)

Angharad,whatever you do, don't feel guilty about what you have written. It's much food for thought and there will naturally be those for whom the memories are forever painfull.
Getting it out and aired is generally a form of therapy for most of us and sometimes even a trigger to motivate others to seek help if they need it.

Bearing in mind that you appear, by your writing, to be a very sensitive and caring individual, this was an exceptionally brave piece of writing and I know you must have expected some anger to come rumbling onto the page.

Your apologies are certainly accepted by me. Keep up the good work. If your story makes me cry occasionally, that's not your fault. You can't please everbody all the time! I've survived for fifty years since I was fourteen but the opportunity to occasionally be 'self indulgent' and cry 'poor me' (in private of course,)is therapy in it'self. Stories like Bike 1065 do just that and allow me to be indulgent occasionally, the crying is the best therapy I can garnish. Fortunately, it's not as often now as it used to be, maybe the internet has enabled me to find kindred souls and sharing our burdens fractionalises them.

Ever in your debt for airing this subject.

Beverly.