It was the the beginning of the summer of 1962. I came home from the last day of school and entered into my home.

My mother was there and my other siblings were off already playing with other kids in the neighborhood. My older brother Charles was in the local juvenile facilities for some other stupid crime he had committed. My mother was sitting at the kitchen table sobbing and looked at me with a desperate look upon her face.

I ask her what was wrong, she said that Charles was being sent to the state's reform school, probably until he was 18, maybe even 21. She went on about how she was concerned for me as I was nearing my tween years and was worried that I would soon follow him into the states correctional system. I was only 12, but I did feel of the the loss of my older brother. He was 14 and had been arrested on numerous charges over the last 6 years. His latest escapade caused damages in the thousands of dollars. He and a couple of friends had broken into the the new car barns by the railroad tracks. Since they had keys in them they had started them and raced them around inside the large warehouse. He crashed into several of the other cars and was injured. The cops caught him inside,

unconcious behind the wheel of the car.

I told my mother not to worry, as I wouldn't get into the trouble my brother had caused. She just looked at me as if trying to decide what to do. I know she was fearful of the gangs in the neighborhood and how they got other boys to join in their activities, most illegal. She even stated that the peer pressure would get stronger agianst me and that a momentary slip would put me onto the same path as my brother Charles.

School had been out for a little over a week when while out with couple of the guys I got into some trouble. We had been throwing rocks at a couple of homes, I thought they were empty. I had never seen anybody go into the one three doors down from us. The old curtains on the windows were never opened, nor the windows for that matter.

Anyway one the rocks went right through the large picture window infront of the house. This man came running out of it yelling at us. I panicked and attempted to runbut was caught almost immediately. The man grabbed me and said I know where you live, the other guys had gotten away. He wanted their names, but I remained quiet, I didn't want to rat out my friends. He dragged me down to my home and upon to the porch. My mother came to the door to see what was all the ruckus about. The man screamed at my mother at what I had done and demanded payment for the damages or he was going to call the cops. She invited him into our home and went and got her purse. After talking for a bit they decided on an amount, she paid him and he left. I was sitting on the couch, petrified as I knew my mothers' ire had been stoked. I didn't know if I was going to be spanked or what, I just sat there unmoving.

After the man left she came over to the couch and sat down beside me. She told me things were going to change, she just couldn't take this anymore. At that she said I was grounded for the rest of the week, no playing, no television or anything. she then sent me to my room. I knew I'd gotten away without being spanked, to that I was relieved. I knew not to press the punishment for her anger was near the boiling point, so I just went on up to my room. A little while later I heard her on the phone with someone, but couldn't make out the words to well. I did know she was telling someone of what I had done. A few minutes later she called me from downstairs and said she was going out and taking my two younger siblings with her. That I was not to go anywhere or else, I was to stay in my room. Nor even to answer the door if someone came to the house.

It seemed to me that she had been gone all day, but really it was only for a couple of hours. Do you know how boring it is when you have no one to talk to, or unable to watch TV. So some time while she was gone I had fallen asleep on my bed. It was near sunset when I heard her calling to me. "Are you up there?" "Robert, answer me now"

I mumble something but it was garbled. She was on her way up the stairs and was calling me again, I answered loudly this time "I'm here, I was asleep". She stopped and went back downstairs, at the bottom she called up "dinner will be ready in an hour, I'll call you down then" Oh great, more boring time in the solitude of my room. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I looked about my room for something to do. My electric train was of no use, Charles had broken it messing with the transformer. I had put together all of the model car kits and my science kits were in the basement. I then looked over to my library and retrieved a book I hadn't finished. I may have my faults, but I was a rabid reader. I loved books and most things printed. I actually read the daily newspaper from front page to the last. I enjoyed the more intellectual comics, then those of Popeye or Captain America. I just wasn't into the violence depicted in these. The only section of the newspaper I didn't like was the sports, I hated them, never wanted to play them like most boys. I was a boy scout for awhile, but other then the nature walks, I just wasn't into the more rugged stuff or playing baseball or football with them. I read all of Ann Landers columns, she seemed so smart and worldly to me. I also read the fashion sections with what my mother thought was kind of over the hill. I enjoyed seeing the debutantes in their fancy dresses but didn't know why. Anyway I started to read where I'd left off in the book until i heard my mother calling to come down for dinner.

I went on downstairs and sat at the table, my little brother Randall and my Sister Pamela were already at the table waiting like hungry vultures for their meals. Randall was only 7 and very short for his age, Pamela was almost 6, but was nearly as tall as Randall. They both had this dishwater blonde hair and looked almost impished compared to me. Although I was far from the Mr. America look most boys strived to appear. I was thin with light brown hair and only about five foot tall, maybe a couple of inches over. My mother called for me to assist her with getting the two younger ones fed, so I dished out their meat and potatoes with a vegetable. My mother insisted that we eat at least one full meal, and at least one helping. Randall turned his nose at the brussel sprouts, but knew he had to eat them or no dessert. He had tried to refuse before and wound up having them for breakfast. Dinner went on without incident the rest of the evening. At about 8 o'clock it was time for the younger ones to go to bed. I assisted Randall with his pajamas and he scurried on to his bed and was soon asleep.

My mother bath my sister and had put her to bed. As I started back towards my room my mother stopped me and said in ten minutes she wanted me downstairs, as she had decided as to what she was going to do in regards to my earlier escapade. I had thought it was overwith, I thought my grounding was it plus the banishment to my room.

I said "okay" and went on into my room.

Ten minutes later I went downstairs, my mother was sitting in her favorite chair, the TV was off and she had a couple bages in front of her from the Atlantic Mills department store. They weren't like the cheap thin bags they use today, you couldn't see through them. She told me to have a seat on the floor in front of her as she wanted to talk, but it was really she wanted to tell me my punishment or the changes she had mentioned previously.

After a couple of awkward minutes she took a deep breath and started. "You know Robert," she began, " I have to work to keep us together as a family. Your father doesn't help even though he is suppose to pay for yours, Charles's, Randall's and Pamela's keep, he has yet to send one dollar. Money is tight in some circumstances, but we do manage. Charle's last escapade has left us nearly destitute, but not broke. Your doings today was another expense I can ill afford, but because you had been caught and the man was agreeable to the cost being only a third

of the damages I got out of that fairly good. However, that also means no going to the movies for a month, no candy and no allowances for you for awhile. I also don't want you running the streets while I am at work. The neighbor takes care of Randall and Pam, but you are old enogh to watch them for me. They only play in the backyard.

I can't take the risk of you turning into a person like your brother Charles, but I also have to make sure you stay home, away from those hooligans you run with. Do you understand me?" I nodded then said yes as my mother looked at me with discontent with my nodding. She went on " I talked to Mrs. Washington, the black ladies down the street and to your Aunt Beatrice about you." I interrupted her at this point. I stated, "mom, you know Aunt Beatrice hates me, she is always calling me names like sissy and girly-boy ever since she found me playing with my cousin Sues dolls with her, why would you talk to her?" She wasn't happy that I had broken into her explanation.

"If I can continue." she began. "I don't know why you dislike her, she is a very nice person. Anyway because of what they said I am going to use their recommendation. This way I know you won't be getting into further trouble

and it saves me from paying for babysitters for your brother and sister. Now stand up and remove you shirt and pants, as well as your shoes and socks" I was in shock to say the least, my mother hadn't seen me in my underwear since I was nine. I was to old to just run around in my underwear. "come on with it, I don't have all day or night." she said. Before getting up I removed my shoes and socks and slowly stood up in front of her. I started to remove my shirt going slowly with the buttons then let it fall to the floor. She reach across and grabbed my belt and undid it and started to unsnap the button above my fly, I put my hand over hers to stop her but it was useless.

She pulled down my zipper and yanked them down to my ankles. "step out of them, come on hurry up" she continued.

I removed my feet from them, there I was standing only in my jocket underpants and a t-shirt. She pulled the t-shirt up over my head exposing my white untouched by the sun chest. I thought oh my she is going to spank me, maybe even bare-bottomed as she had done to Charles a couple of years ago. I started to cry profusely asking her not to spank me. Instead she grabbed me and pulled me closer to her, hugging me and telling me at the saame time she wasn't going to hit or spank me, that she loved me and that what she was going to do wouldn't hurt me.

"Well then why did I have to get undressed?" I asked still sniffling. "I.m sorry bobby" she began, "its just that

-erm- your are going to wear something totally different for awhile and just on the days that I work so I know your safe and away from the bad influences in the neighborhood." "what is it?" I asked. "Okay, I'll tell you but you know I love you right, and it only has to be at home, I don't want you going outside in these clothes I have in the bag." She answered, " lets get you dressed." The first thing she pulled out looked like a dress, but she told me it was called a full slip. It was all shiny and slippery maybe thats why they called it a slip. She placed it over my head and had me put my arms through the straps on top. It look almost like a muscle shirt but longer. It went all the way to my knees or just above. The next item I recognized immediately. It was a dress, just like the ones the girls in school wore, I started to cry again. "Mom I can't wear that, what would my friends say if they saw me, they will make fun of me and call me names" She again pulled me close to her and hugged me for a moment then stated "No one is going to see you as long as you don't go outside, you have nothing to worry about.

You can go outside after I get home in your boys clothes, okay." I still was upset, thinking what it Tom or Eric came over while she was out at work I couldn't answer the door like the ways I was dressed. My, mother finished pulling the dress over my head, had me place my arms into the sleeves, spun me around and buttoned up the back. She then had me put on some anklet socks and a pair of girls maryjane shoes. She had me step a couple of steps backward so she could look at me. "Honey" she started, " you look adoreable, even prettier then some little girls I know, let me show you" At that she took me into the bathroom where there was a full lenght mirror. There I was looking at myself in a pretty yellow dress with a flowered border alonf=g the bottom hem, below that was two layers of one inch lace trim. The sleeves were puffed out like teacups. The ankets matched incolor but were also trimmed in lace. With my short hair I looked like a boy in a dress, a sissy and I began to cry again. My mother had turned me into a girl and there was nothing I could do. She attempted to soothe me telling me that it would be alright, but for now this is how it had to be. She then led me downstairs back to the chair she was sitting in.

"I know this is hard honey," she began "but we or I need to work and I worry about you, now lets look at the other stuff okay. Out of the bag came two more dresses and slips. Out of the second bag came one more dress, but it was fancier, like the party dresses girls my age wore to bithday parties and such. The last thing that came out were the packages of panties, mostly white cotton, but one pair matched the party dress with three rows of lace sewn across the fanny portion. I thought to myself why did she buy a party dress and those panties, I would never be attending any little girls parties or would I...