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Ok, I never expected to have to write something like this, at this site, especially. This is aimed squarely at all of you all who can't seem to understand the word "Tolerance".
Hey! You! Yes, you, in the corner doing your nails & pretending I'm not talking about you. I am.
It appears that a number of you have a problem with a certain author/commenter on this site. IT's gotten so bad that it appears that some of you actively look for when he comments on a story so you can ridicule his phrases, choice of adjectives, or even that fact that he comments at all.
That's called stalking, folks.
Look we _all_ get that you think this person is an idiot or worse. And that you've made it your lives mission to hound all such people on the Internet from "your places". Got news for you dear, you better get busy, 'cause there's a lot of really well-meaning, but in your eyes, idiots, out there.
And by-the-by? This place, this BigCloset, is as much theirs as it is yours. OR mine.
You don't like to see what they post or write? Fine, there's an "ignore user" button specifically for that. The fact that you can't or won't use it, tells me much about you.
Look, there's a number of people here that just enjoy the fiction. But there's a lot of us here because we are TG and this is an oasis to relax before dealing with that real world again. The fact that you can't accept someone that's different from you, thinks differently from you, talks differently.... well just what am I to think? How would you treat me? How would you treat any other visitor here that different?
I've thought about PM'ing each poster who decides that they must rage on this specific commenter. After all, most of the time you're not commenting on the story, but b%t%hing about his comment... Then I decided, that would be wrong. Mom always taught me that a lady never jumped down to "their level".
One last word. I guess you're hoping to run off this particular commenter. Well, consider this, How many more people will you run off by your behavior? How many author's will look at this sort of treatment and decide to move their stories elsewhere? How many readers who would offer comments to stories but refrain after seeing this sort of treatment? Who wins then?
Janice
Finally a voice of reason
The trend you are talking about in this blog has been grating on me for a while. And besides, it mostly is harmful to the bystanders - I'm positively sure the author/commenter on the receiving end had indeed used the "Ignore User" function soon after it started.
And now I am tempted to do the same. Please discontinue, I come here to relax and enjoy, not to be a witness to this.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Feel free
to pm me any time.
It bothers me too.
Mostly I never intend to hurt anyone but once in a while I am deemed not PC or something and my comments disappear. Usually if someone bugs me, I either just ignore them. It ain't pretty, what is going on now.
K
Funny , or not
I came close to posting a Blog this morning. The title was going to be Should we offer Stan a blindfold or Just Shoot him.
Let's get real here, everyone that isn't asleep has seen the narky little comments and cheap shots. Hey the guy might be clueless and socially inept but does he deserve this. In his own bumbling way he tries to be supportive.
I've heard vague suggestions that a few have been I suppose the term would be stalked or harassed. If so, show us where or when or show Erin. This vague kangaroo court is not really good enough. Give me some reason that such a divisive thing should continue. Is it a Big Closet or a bitchy little girls camp?
Yes I used his name, about time someone did, nuke this if it breaks protocol, but that won't solve the problem. This is hurting this place and I for one do not like that. Sorry Erin, but this is getting beyond polite disagreement. I apologise to any that may be upset by the blunt comment, I wish I didn't need to make it.
Kristina
I quite agree.
I've always considered Stan a gentleman, and admired the fact that he seems to make a special effort to read and comment on every story, which is more than one can say about many of his detractors. The nasty sniping at him under the dishonest cover of "not naming names" is disgusting, no matter what the authors of these scurrilous attacks think of him.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
The Intolerance of "Tolerant" People
I have always been of the opinion that some of the most intolerant people are those who scream to be tolerated. It's not just the TG community. It seems to be in vogue these days for people who call for understanding and tolerance to label anyone who does not agree one hundred percent with their view, agenda or life style to label that person as misguided, a bigot, a homophobe, a racist, etc, etc, etc. Such accusations are usually proceeded by any number of colorful expletives. If you think I'm kidding, the next time you're with a group of TGs or at a party with a group of 'Open minded' NYC liberals, casually mention you are TG and a Republican who work on several GOP campaigns.
Not everyone loves us as we would like. Does that make them evil? I think not. They are no different than TGs who cannot tolerate Christians or people who are not hyper-liberal in their political views; they are people like us, often times no better or no worse.
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
Been around this, and around, and arou . . . .
Janice, I agree with you 100%. It seems the attitude of a few is: "I'm open-minded and tolerant of everybody (who is just like me)." Unfortunately, we've discussed this before, to little effect. I have no more to say on this subject, I've said it all.
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
It's okay to say things in jest or to kid around a bit but ...
When it becomes or is perceived as a personal attack please don't.
It is so easy to be misunderstood online as we are only getting a small fraction of the information we get in a face to face conversation, IE no body language, inflection, tone. It is so easy to send a message and once it is sent you can't take it back.
If you seriously don't like someone's comments or stories here, use that ignore feature. It is there to help you,
One of the best things about BC is how civil and diverse Erin's little *kingdom* is. Let's please keep it this way. There are some here who's tastes and beliefs I disagree with but I would not want them to leave.
To be blunt, don't be a bully. It hurts people and not only the intended target. BC is a friendly place, let's keep it so.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I agree that we should all
I agree that we should all be tolerant and not bigoted . Stanman is a gentleman and although I don't agree with everything he says, he has every right to say them. He comments on most stories and the fact that he takes trouble to do that is very much a plus in my eyes.
Those people who think that it is clever or cool to put others down are doing themselves no favors. We are all somewhat different from the mainstream here, does that make us bad, wrong or worthy of contempt?
I hated being bullied as a child and I do not want to see such things on this site, which I consider to be a large part of my life and my TG home.
Sue
I missed the run up ....
... to all this. What it was or what caused it. We all have our different points of view which is hardly surprising given the variety of our origins, lives, nationalities, backgrounds etc. Indeed I am always somewhat surprised that no-one so far has threatened to immerse me in boiling oil, excommunicate me, tread on my hamster, or inform the autorities about my more heinous excesses.
That they haven't, so far fingers crossed, speaks volumes for the general tolerance levels prevailing here.
I am astounded therefor that, as I understand it, Stanman has been picked on. I agree wholeheartedly with Sue. My experience mirrors her's. He makes a point of commenting on stories in an encouraging and supportive way, even mine. I would have thought that there wasn't an unkind bone in his body. A gentleman about sums it up.
He may just be too good of course. Many people, myself to a degree included, have a natural abhorrence of goodness in others. It niggles away at us, makes us feel uneasy, a mite inferior perhaps.
There is of course no remedy. He will just have to suffer the slings and arrows. Probably he is used to it by now. Those of a pleasant, charitable nature, find it quite impossible to be even mildly critical of others in return. Their only defence is to learn to cultivate a thick skin from an early age.
This is just to let him know that I join with those others who value the contribution that he makes here.
Does anyone else find it
almost like others acted in grade school? :P Maybe they are just jealous that they don't comment on almost every story or something. Just pondering is all :)
Diana