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In the mid 70's there was a song on "contemporary" Christian Radio. The Refrain was
Take another trip around Mt. Sinai
Till you learn your lesson...
So, I'm taking another trip...
It's been a horrid month. A couple of people I thought were friends turned on me once I came out to them. Go figure. Somehow I didn't think it would happen. They knew about my TG issues, but a month later I'm chopped liver.
Then, I learned I'm losing my left foot. After 4 years and 16 surgeries, and all my options are gone. There are no bones left in my ankle. Sooo... with a constant wound that won't heal there's no other option. Argh... No diabetes, No PAD, just some very bad injuries and being overwieght.
THEN I've been pretty depressed (like I have NO reason?), and I've been getting off of one of my anti-depressants. Geez, bad timing or WHAT??
There has been one positive development. On Thursday I had my first electrolysis session. Since then, anytime I've been down, I just look in the mirror, touch the spot, and smile.
Thanks all for your support. Please do keep me in your prayers, of whatever variety.
Blessings to you all,
Beth
Comments
Losing it all
Most professionals told me before I made the leap, that I would lose all my friends and family. Somehow I blithely assumed that they were wrong, but in the end, it was I. I am sorry about what has happened to you, it breaks my heart. That is why I never encourage someone who thinks that they are TG. The consequences are so awfu that the decision must be up to them. It is they who must stand on the pier and decide to jump into the frozen waters alone.
Gwen
Electrolysis...
I did about 100 hours back in '86... It was brutal. Now, the 5% lidocaine cream makes it so much more bearable! Remember, don't be surprised when hair shows back up in that spot in a few weeks. Some regrowth is expected. I read somewhere that clearing the face takes an average of 200-400 hours (ouch)... But, I'm convinced it's worth it.
As to your friends dumping you... Sorry to hear that. Perhaps you'll find new ones that are more true. I've not given any friends the chance to turn on me as yet (just family, and been lucky beyond all belief there). I'm sure some will. *sighs* \
I wish you the best. Take heart from the electrolysis, it does work. Even if it feels like it's taking forever, it does work.
Annette
Electrolysis
Annette,
It was very bearable. I didn't use lidocaine. But then again I take a horrendous amount of pain meds daily. They used hi frequency RF and I could have fallen asleep if I hadn't enjoyed the conversation so much!
Beth
It's sad to lose friends
but if they couldn't or wouldn't cope with the real you, are they really friends? Hopefully their place will be taken by those who do cope. I'm sorry to hear of your ankle problems, I hope all goes well, whatever happens there.
Angharad
Angharad
Me too
That is : losing friends. But it sounds as if you can handle it better than me. Luckily I posted a farewell on the old transgendersite in the MSN world and someone brought "Marshal" to the room and he taught me to stay on. Just the fact that he came from M4M as a LRH could make me smile, seeing the end result today.
Keep your fighting spirit high and continue the path that will bring you to your final change.
Ginnie
GinnieG