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You know, like, you know.
WherEVER did we come up with THAT to fill in the gaps in conversation.
Sorry, got off topic and I haven't even started.
It seems that the roller coaster keeps on coasting. Last week I was in the pits, then the electrolysis, which was a tremendous boost, then today.
Today you might ask? What could be so special about a Monday? It's supposed to be a downer, and normally is not my favorite day of the week. Today I had to visit my pain doctor. Yeah, I've a separate doctor just for pain, which kind of tells you how the last three or four years have gone.
Ooops. Off topic AGAIN. You might think I was flighty or a ditz or something.
Today is special, VERY SPECIAL! I spent 3 hours in the car with my oldest son, 25 going on 40. I told my doctor he was a GOOD son, the doctor told me he as a hell of a man. That warmed my heart, and made me feel quite proud. So we are driving back, and the conversation turned to my health and THINGS. I told him I was working on getting better, and after 20 minutes of him prodding and poking and generally going nuts 'cause he just KNEW I was not telling him everything. I told him I'd tell him along with his two brothers in June, after my youngest graduated from High School.
He was having none of that. So, 45 miles from home I told him. I'd been so afraid of telling him or any of my kids about being TG. I'd visions of being kicked out of the car, me and my wheelchair a long way from home. By this time I'm curled into a fetal position on my side of the car and in a tiny voice I told him I'm transgendered.
No thunder, no lightning (though it WAS raining heavily outside), Instead he had the affrontery, the sheer gall, the unmitigated audacity to laugh. He said "Is that all? I've known you were different for like (that word again) forever! I was afraid you'd committed some heinous crime." He went on to tell me that if that was what I had to do to be happy and healthy then go ahead and do it. He would support me.
THUD
I looked up to him from my huddle and in asked in my same small voice, this time through tears; of joy and relief "So you don't hate me?"
We talked a bit more, with me gradually unfolding from my fetal position. When I got out, he got my wheelchair for me, gave me a great big hug and said "You'll always be my dad. I've always loved you and I always will."
It was an amazing time. For me it meant that the rest of my kids and assorted other family would support me through this. My mom knows (my dad died years ago), my brother knows, my wife knows, and now my son knows. I am truly blessed. I know I'm incredibly fortunate.
The roller coaster continues going up and down, and around and around. For me, today was special, even if it was Monday.
Today the roller coaster is going up up up. In some ways I can't wait to see what happens next.
I pray blessings may be in store for each of you.
Beth
Comments
Simply...
AWESOME!
~~hugs, Laika
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Great!
Acceptance. Such a simple thing, you would think. Yet such an overwhelming emotion. The gods are smiling down on you, and all's right with the world. Hugs!
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Long
may it continue.
Angharad
Angharad
May your experience...
be similar to many of mine in this area.
I admire your ability to hold off nearly until your youngest graduated from high school. While my oldest is close to graduating from university (with plans to go on to Med School & be a psychiatrist) her "little" sister is only in 7th grade. About 18 months ago, I couldn't take it any more, and came out to my wife. I wasn't thrown out - far from it (I'm not saying she didn't have issues, but we've worked through all and are apparently closer than ever before). Actually, I told a cousin a week earlier - in a neutral setting - which gave me the courage to tell my wife.
Since then, I've told both kids, my in-laws; their kids and grand kids; my parents and my brother. So far, I've received universal acceptance. This IS an awesome feeling!!! (Heck, my mother-inn-law's known what transexuals longer than I've been alive. She interviewed one of the surgeons that did the work on Christine Jorgenson for the newspaper she worked for in Boston. And, my brother-in-law did a rotation - in his surgery residency - with one of the surgeons that worked in the gender clinic at Hopkins, while it was doing good work.)
Yes, this feeling of acceptance IS great. I told you the stuff up there, because I want you to know it's possible. Oh, I don't accept to get universal acceptance (My brother - politically speaking - makes the Birchers look like "bleeding heart liberals"), specially after I transition. My younger daughter's not "Thrilled" with "My daddy's turning into a girl" (as she put it to one person that is "in the know") but she also still loves me, and seems to be getting "used" to the idea. Time will tell, and for her sake, I wish I could have held off longer.
Enjoy the feeling, and may you have many more experiences like this. (The acceptance, not the angst before telling. That's no fun.)
*hugs*
Annette
Sometimes,
We are our own worst enemies!
This is good news!
Hugs
Carla Ann
Sooo familiar...
...that fetal huddle thing. Sounds just like when I told my parents. Like your son, they were cool with it, just saying, "OK." They'd also known I was different forever, though not how.
I'm glad he reacted so well and that you have lots of support. Congrats! :)
SalessÂ
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Brace yourself for the shock to wear off.
You will need a strategy to deal with that. I wish I knew what to say a good strategy is? I guess honesty, gentleness and compassion could be part of it. I am sure that you have read, "The Five Steps of Death and Dying", and I see that process carried out in life at so many levels. It does not have to turn out bad, but you will have more work ahead of you.
Many blessings
Saeed