Part 3 of 3

Saturday, October 17

I woke the next morning, stiff and sore, still in Amy's dress and my ruined makeup. Amy lay near me, propped on her elbow, watching me closely. I noticed a musky taste in my mouth, and it all came crashing back. I didn't know I had that many tears, but I sure shed a lot more of them. The storm passed, and I struggled out of bed to get cleaned up. Amy followed silently, helping where she could, just being close when she couldn't help.

I showered with Amy joining me, washing me tenderly. We got out, and she patted me cry with a big fluffy towel. I brushed my teeth three times while she sat watching, patiently waiting for me to finish. When I ran out of things to do, she led me to the closet and draped a lightweight robe around me. We then went to the kitchen, where Amy fixed coffee. When it was ready, she poured us each a cup, took them to the table, and sat. I collapsed into the chair across from her and wrapped my hands tightly around the coffee mug.

"Ready to talk?" she asked quietly. I looked at her dumbly. Not a single thing to say would come to mind. I shook my head as if to clear it. It didn't help. Amy reached across and gently stroked my arm, not rushing me, just letting me know she was there for me.

"I think you may be right about seeing Dr. Simmons," was the first thing I could force out of my mouth. Amy reacted as if I had struck her. She uttered a little cry, then clamped down on her emotions.

"Tell me. Please."

I still couldn't think of anything to say, so I just sat motionless.

"Oh, god, don't shut me out. Please don't do that."

The anguish in her voice penetrated a little, and I mumbled "I'm not trying to shut you out. I just don't know how to talk about it."

She absorbed that, then gently said, "Why not start at the beginning."

I struggled to form the words, letting a few trickle out, starting with Jerry's awe at my/Amy's appearance. The unexpected kiss at the car door. The rebuke in the car, and the easing of hostilities by the time we got to the restaurant. As I talked, words came easier, the trickle became a stream. I described quiet classy restaurant, the food, the wine, the talk, and the agreement not to talk about work. The jazz club, good music, easy conversation, drinks. More drinks, more talk, more music. The unsteadiness I felt as we left the club. By now, the dam had burst completely, and words were just pouring out.

The secluded view of the city, the talk, the warm breezes, me drifting off. The incredible sensations pulling me slowly from sleep, more stimulation, clothes magically removed, roaming hands, the ill chosen excuse to keep Jerry away from my secret. The fireworks in my chest as Jerry played me like a fine violin. How he moved my hand to his crotch, the traitorous fingers that revealed his hardness. Jerry's firmly guiding my head to his lap, and my rebellious body that started, then finished Jerry. My own eruption. The passionate kissing, the renewed tender assault on my breasts, my second coming. The kissing, then Jerry's remark that had jolted me out of my fog, and opened the torrents of regret mixed with copious tears.

I ran out of words. I was drained, and slumped bonelessly across the table, my coffee long since grown cold. I heard Amy say something, but it didn't penetrate my stupor. Then she was helping me, almost carrying me, into the bedroom, and into bed. I was out almost immediately and slept like the dead. I guess I really had Amy worried. I later learned that she called several of her friends looking for advice for handling this crazy girlfriend of hers that had gone off the deep end.

Sunday, October 18

When I finally awoke, it was very early morning. Sunday? Amy was draped uncomfortably across the easy chair near our bed, sleeping, twitching occasionally, uttering little cries now and then. I slipped from the bed to use the bathroom, then cleaned up. Coming back to the bedroom I found Amy still sleeping, so I left her, and went to make another pot of coffee while conflicting thoughts chased circles in my head.

A few minutes later, I heard Amy shriek "Jamie!" and come running from our room. She froze when she saw me. Eventually she whispered "Are you OK?" She drifted toward me as if afraid of what I might do. I held my arms out to her, and she darted into them, holding me for dear life.

"I don't know if OK is quite right. But I'm here. I am … I guess I don't know what I am. But I am not in danger of cracking at the moment."

She fiercely pulled my face to hers and kissed me urgently. "You had me so worried yesterday! You seemed to just fade away. I couldn't get any response from you." She kissed me again fervently. "I don't know what I would do without you!"

Guess I did have something to live for after all. A few minutes ago I had wondered about that.

Amy drew me over to the couch, settled me on the cushion, and snuggled in next to me. We just sat like that for hours. My mind was still in turmoil, and I didn't know what to say to her. The phone rang a few times, but we just let it go over to the answering machine, listening as the message recorded. Mid afternoon, when Amy recognized Jerry's voice, she dashed to the phone, grabbed it off the hook, and screamed "You bastard! You absolute freaking bastard! How could you!"

Amy's vehemence shocked me, but she had been under a bit of stress since I got home. I could not hear Jerry's end of the conversation, but Amy listened for a moment, then responded. "That is so not true! You got me drunk, you son of a bitch, then you took advantage of me!" Pause to listen.

"How can you say that! I did no such thing!"

After another pause, "I give you fair warning, pond scum, if one word of this ever gets out, to anyone, ANYONE, I will destroy your career at the medical group! And you know I can do it, too!"

Amy listened again. "I should report you right now, and get your sorry ass kicked out, but for reasons you will never understand, I don't intend to do it! But let just one word of this get out, and that's the end of the road for you, boyo!"

"I will be civil if I see you at work, but you had better never, ever think about touching me again!"

"Because you will pull back a bloody stump if you do!" Amy slammed the phone down, then returned to me. She was so worked up, she was fairly twitching. I put my arm around her, trying to sooth her with gentle caresses, whispered endearments, nuzzles on the neck. Then I froze.

"My god, Amy! What have I done? I was you last night, and I acted an absolute tramp. If this ever gets out, I've ruined your reputation!"

Amy gazed levelly into my eyes, and spoke softly, "That means nothing to me right now. I am far more concerned with what I have done to you. Jamie, I am so sorry, I had no right to set you up like that, even though I expected the outcome to be much different."

I saw in her eyes that she truly didn't care how my action might impact her reputation. I held her tight, and whispered, "What have I done so right that I deserve an angel like you?"

Finally, I gently disengaged from Amy and drifted into the kitchen. I hadn't eaten since dinner Friday. Or more precisely since Jerry provided a little snack late Friday night. Oh, god! I wasn't really hungry, but I felt so hollow in the middle I was hoping some food would fill the desolate void. Amy came to help, and we put together two plates of things we found in the fridge. We sat and ate in silence. Just as I suspected, food did nothing for the hole in my middle. Except arouse nausea. I only finished half the plate before I couldn't take any more. Amy shooed me off to bed, saying she would clean up. I took her up on the offer.

Monday, October 19

I didn't hear Amy leave in the morning, but when I finally staggered out of bed, I found a note she left on the kitchen counter. I didn't feel like eating, or doing anything else for that matter. But I decided maybe a walk would clear my head. I dressed for walking, and headed out. When I got near the spot I often met Paul, I saw him up ahead doing cool down stretches. I immediately reversed course, but he must have seen me. He called my name, and jogged to catch up. I didn't want to see him. I hid my face and kept walking toward home, telling him to leave me alone. He didn't listen, and kept coming behind me, trying to get me to stop.

All this time, I had carefully not led Paul to my home, but today I didn't care. I got to the door and fumbled with my keys, finally getting the door open. Paul was trying to talk to me the whole time, but I just ignored him. When I tried to shut the door in his face, he stopped it, and pushed past me into the house. He turned and grabbed me by the upper arms, demanding to know what was wrong. When he touched my arms, I whimpered and tried to pull away, a look of terror on my face. Paul jerked back away from me as if he had been burned. "Jamie, what is it? Has someone hurt you? Please, Jamie, tell me. Please, I want to help."

I looked at him, his kind look of concern, then threw myself into his arms, and started sobbing wildly. He picked me up easily, and carried me down the hall, checking rooms till he found what he figured was my room. He carried me in, stripped the covers back, and laid me gently in bed, where he calmly removed my shoes. After pulling the covers up, he crawled on top of the spread, pulled me toward him, and just held me. My sobbing settled down after a while, and I drifted into a fitful sleep.

Apparently Paul called work to tell them he wouldn't be in, and spent the morning watching over me. Near noon, he found some chicken noodle soup in the kitchen, and heated it, bringing me a cup, and rousing me enough to eat. I managed to get some down, but the sobbing started again, so he climbed on top of the covers again and pulled me against him. I must have drifted off to sleep again, because the next thing I remember is hearing Amy demanding in a loud voice "What is going on here! Who are you? What have you done to her?" I came around in time to see Paul with this incredulous expression on his face, staring at Amy, clearly unable to figure out anything to say. He looked from her to me and back several times, while Amy repeated her demand.

"Jamie?" he asked. "What… Who… I don't understand!"

Amy walked over and pulled him bodily off the bed, trying to drag him out of the room. Paul got his feet under himself and followed, still bewildered. By that time, I was awake enough to follow, and alarmed enough about what Amy might do to follow quickly. As I got to the living room, Amy was repeating her demand and Paul was gesturing to her to calm down.

"Wait, please. Are you Jamie? I thought that was Jamie in there."

"I'm Amy, and what the hell are you doing in bed with Jamie?"

"Amy? My name is Paul. I met Jamie walking several weeks ago, and we have become friends, meeting each other as we walk, and sometimes talking along the way. I took Jamie to meet my boss the other day about working for us. When I saw her today, she all but ran from me, and I had to find out what was wrong, so I followed her here. Then she broke down, and I carried her to bed. I didn't do anything to her, except hold her while she cried, I swear!"

Amy was trying her best to calm down, and looked over at me. I nodded meakly. She said "Oh, um, well. Oh, I am sorry. You can imagine how it looked when I walked in. I appreciate you looking in on Jamie." She looked around, and saw the soup Paul had fixed. Gesturing toward it she said "And thank you for that too. I was just coming home to see if Jamie had eaten, or if I should fix something for her. Um, thanks again."

He looked back and forth between us. "Just amazing, the resemblance. But can you tell me what is wrong. I really would like to help."

Amy mumbled under her breath "Not unless you're willing to kill the sick bastard!"

Paul focused on her. "What? Kill who?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I am just a little upset with the jerk that caused all this." Amy seemed to remember she was talking to a stranger. "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't need to burden you with our troubles. And it's nothing I can really talk about anyway." She started ushering him toward the door. "So, it must seem really ungrateful of me to rush you out after you have been so thoughtful, but there are some things Jamie and I need to discuss."

"But wait," Paul began, "Who are you? Jamie never mentioned a sister. And I don't want to leave Jamie alone in the state she's in." Paul had planted himself, and Amy was no longer making headway to the door.

I spoke softly, "Thank you so much, Paul, but it would probably be better if you did leave now. I have an appointment tomorrow morning, but maybe we can talk Wednesday, if you are out walking."

Paul's resistance seemed to collapse, and Amy was getting him to the door now, but he said with feeling, "Count on it!"

As Amy closed the door behind Paul, she said, "Bye, Paul. Nice to meet you." We couldn't make out the muffled reply through the closed door.

Amy turned and sagged against the door a moment, then drew herself up, came to me, and guided me to the couch. When we were seated, she asked quietly, "Are you alright?"

"Not sure. Don't think so. Maybe Dr. Simmons can get me started untangling all this tomorrow."

Amy was lost in thought a few minutes, gazing into space. She finally said quietly "Nice friend you have there," gesturing toward the door with her chin. "Handsome."

"Yeah."

Amy ate a lukewarm cup of the left over soup Paul had heated, then had to get back to her patients. "No more knights in shining armor in here this afternoon, OK?" she teased.

I sheepishly said, "Aw, you take all the fun out of a girl's life."

I don't know if Amy wanted to giggle or cry. What came out was a strangled "Mmmfp", then she was gone.

I stayed on the couch and zoned out for a long time. Thinking of everything and nothing. Didn't matter much to me which. I was shocked when I heard Amy letting herself in the front door. I hadn't moved all afternoon!

She made us some supper, which I picked at, more moving it around with my fork than eating. Amy said exasperatedly "Jamie, you've got to eat something! You're making yourself sick!"

I just said, "Whatever."

Tuesday, October 20

Amy slipped out of bed and the house without waking me, but left an alarm set so I could make my 11:00 appointment. When it woke me, I immediately noticed my scalp was itching terribly, and my hair was lank and greasy feeling. I had the irrelevant thought "Oh, great, this is how Paul saw me yesterday!" But then I figured that becoming aware of self-care issues was a positive sign. I stripped and deposited everything in the hamper, then climbed into the hot shower and proceeded to wash my hair three times. When I got out, I patted dry, and used Amy's body powder all over, marveling again at the sleek smoothness of my skin.

I was still naked when the phone rang, but just strolled over to the bedside phone to answer it. It was Sandy, concerned, since we were supposed to meet at her office Saturday. My mouth formed into an O as I recalled there was a problem with my hormones we heeded to discuss. It got lost amongst all the other crises. She figured when I didn't show Saturday that I would come in yesterday, and when I didn't she started getting really concerned. I asked if she had any time this afternoon, which she did, and told her I would bring her up-to-date then.

I wanted to try to start feeling good about myself again, so I took extra care dressing. Pretty, feminine, but demure. Then I made my way to Rick's office. He was running just a bit late, but I was seated across from him by 11:10. He introduced himself, said to call him Rick, and told me what Amy and he had discussed. He said Amy had thought I would be resistant to the idea of counseling, so he was glad to see me here. I told him that last week I had been, but that events had changed my mind, and I now had great expectations from his services.

"OK, so what is it that you expect to come of this?"

I knew what I wanted, but had never tried to put it into a coherent statement, so it took a while before I could answer.

"I expect your help to stay intact though the Halloween party, and then help me make the transition back to being James."

"Are you sure that is what you want?"

"Absolutely. I love my wife, and I want nothing more than to be her husband and the father of our children for the rest of my life!"

"And if that cannot happen, what then?"

That idea shook me. "That is not acceptable. That is not an outcome that I can allow."

"Nonetheless, what if that is the way it plays out?"

I'm sure my expression showed my dismay. "I don't know. That is not a situation I can easily accept. I just don't know. Certainly, no matter what, I want to be with Amy, if she will have me in whatever form I come out of this." My voice became pleading. "Please, you've got to promise me this will come out right!"

He leaned toward me and said gently "That is not something I can promise. What I can promise is that I will try my best to make this come out the way you need it to." I noticed that he wasn't promising to work for the outcome I had stated, just for what was best for me.

The rest of the session was just a feeling out phase. He was trying to gain my trust, and also trying to understand how he might help. He suggested we meet twice a week until at least Halloween, then renegotiate the first appointment after the party. That meeting is where we would make plans for my transition back, and he made me promise I would not undertake procedures to undo the physical changes until then. That kind of bummed me out, but I grudgingly agreed.

When I left, I called Amy's office, but she had just sent out for a sandwich, and was trying to catch up on patients through her supposed lunch break.

So I dejectedly headed off to see if I could get myself to eat something. I did, but just barely. I only ate half of the light lunch I ordered. My appointment with Sandy was still a couple hours away, so I headed to the local electronics megastore, hoping to immerse myself in what had been heaven for James. Whether it was my frazzled mental state, or because I was not James anymore, I did not enjoy my time there. I stubbornly stuck it out until I needed to leave for Sandy's, hoping to rekindle an interest, but it was no go.

At Sandy's, I was immediately led to an examining room, and told to strip and don the flimsy gown. I was also asked to remove the gaff that was fastened with surgical adhesive to my crotch. Fortunately I carry a bottle of the solvent in my purse for emergencies. I realized the only times I had had the gaff off in the last two weeks were to clean it, and give the covered skin a couple hours to breathe. Recently, I just felt more comfortable looking somewhat realistic down there.

Sandy was looking grave when she walked in. "Hello, James." This was the first time she had used my male name since this started. "There is a problem. Please lay back, I need to examine your penis and testes." That got the adrenaline pumping! She poked and prodded, rolled the testicles between her latex coated fingers. Squeezed lightly and asked about the sensation. She asked about my last erection, and the volume and color of the ejaculate.

She paused, collecting her thoughts for a minute, then said, "James, I feel so badly about this. A mistake was made during your first appointment, and then compounded later. I don't know who is to blame, my nurse or myself, but the hormone implants we used that first day were 60 day implants, not the 30 day that I had intended. Then, 30 days later, the nurse used the same implants as the chart noted from the first appointment. There are two problems here. First, you have been getting double hormones since the second implant. Everything accelerated ahead of the expected schedule, the rapid breast development, the lost erections, the shift in emotions and perceptions. This also increases the impact of the hormones on your ability to recover after cessation. You remember that 3 months was what we considered the maximum safe term, and that we were planning only 2 months. The intense hormones have cut those 3 months down by an indeterminate amount. It may even now be too late, though based on my exam, I don't think so. However, that leads us to the second problem. A 60 day implant added after 30 days will mean the termination of hormones after 90 days, three months, pushing the original limit. Given the extreme level of hormones in your body, 90 days is well past any hope of recovery."

I stared at her in stunned disbelief. "You mean, there is no possible way I will ever return to being a functioning male?"

"Not without serious intervention, no."

Was she holding out a ray of hope? "What kind of intervention?"

"The possibilities include counter treatment with testosterone, and surgical removal of the implants, quite possibly both."

"Lets do it!"

"Not so fast, Jamie. Sorry, James. The introduction of enough testosterone to do any good into your already hormone saturated system would put great stress on your body."

"OK, if not that, would the implant removal be enough?"

"Maybe, if…"

"If what."

"This is so hard. The implants tend to fragment and migrate over time. Your first set is almost at term, and we would be unlikely to find enough to remove. The second set has been in place over three weeks. While we should be able to get a significant portion out, it is likely we will not get it all. The result of both those facts is that you will probably have a much lower, but still significant level of hormones and anti-androgens in your system, tapering off as the end of the third month approaches. Whether that reduction will be enough to save your testes is very much in question."

"What is the impact of the surgical removal?"

"Well, if we assume the implant has fragmented and migrated, as I suggested, there would be considerable probing required, possibly several incisions. While there will be no noticeable scarring as a result, there will be some bruising for a few days, and you will be in some amount of pain, probably for a week or more."

By this point, I was defeated. I said "I can't handle this on my own right now. I need Amy to help decide. I will talk to her about it tonight. When can we do the extraction?"

"I had hoped to do it today, but if you feel Amy should be involved, if you decide to go ahead, we will do it tomorrow, even if we have to work half the night after my regular schedule!"

I didn't think there was anywhere lower I could go. I start out trying to be upbeat, then Rick hints that there may be no way back for me. Now Sandy almost made that a guarantee.

I made it home, I'm not sure how, but I found myself sitting on the sofa when Amy came in the door.

With macabre humor I asked "How would you like to have a sister instead of a husband?"

Amy stopped half way to me, frozen in place. "What are you telling me!" she demanded.

I broke down in tears, and told her of my dilemma. She had settled beside me by then. She firmly pulled me around and made me look her in the eyes. "I just have one question. Do you want to be James?"

"Yes!" I was emphatic.

"Then we will get you back. Some way, some how. We will get as much of the implant as possible out of you tomorrow, then we will get Dr. Simmons to guide you back. Failure is not an option. The only way, THE ONLY WAY, I will not have my husband back is if he chooses to be Jamie, then I will support and love her with all my heart!"

I found it ironic that today, when my chances of being male again were the least to date, I had been called James more than any time since this all started.

Wednesday, October 21

Wednesday was a morass of grief, pity, and self doubt for me, but I managed to get to the small inpatient clinic the medical group maintained by the appointed hour, 5:00 pm. Sandy could have done it outpatient in her office, but wanted the option, in fact planned to keep me in over at least one night. I was wheeled to an operating room, sedated, and when I came to, I wondered where I was, maybe even who I was. I was in no pain, thanks to the medication, but that would come soon enough.

When I was lucid enough to really see what was around me, Amy was there, and the sky was starting to lighten with the dawn outside the windows. As I moved, I became aware of what seemed like a lot of padding on my rump. Bandages. Well, what did you expect, Jamie girl, after all, the implants were placed in ye olde gluteus maximus. Great place for them, unless you want to get them back out.

I croaked, and Amy was quickly at my side, with a glass of water and a straw. She carefully helped me drink, and I collapsed back into the bed. When I could finally talk, I said "Have you slept at all?"

She looked away, "A little."

"How did it go?"

"Sandy thinks she got most of it, but we won't know until me monitor your hormone levels for a while. She has also been in contact with some hormone specialists to research ways to counteract the drugs, especially the spironolactone. That has the most impact on your testes."

"Any luck?"

"Maybe, she has to do some more checking. We are also hopeful that the greatly diminished supply will let you start to recover without additional help."

"Oh."

Amy carefully wrapped me in her arms and cooed softly in my ear, about her love for me, about her guilt and shame, about how we will be together always. I needed that, at least the first and last. I held on like a drowning man clings to a life preserver. That was what she was to me, my only hope in a dark and stormy sea.

Finally she kissed me tenderly, longingly, and said she had to get home and cleaned up for the day, as she had patients depending on her.

Sandy came in about an hour later, still an hour or more before the normal start of her day. She looked a bit ragged, but it appeared she had had a nap and a shower, unlike Amy. She asked how the pain was, and went over the same things Amy had told me. It didn't cheer me up any, but then it didn't bring me down more either. She told me the nursing staff would care for me today, and she would check about 4:00 to see if I could go home with Amy this evening. Now that thought cheered me up a little.

After a day of fitful sleep, interspersed with bored wakefulness, I was released into my wife's loving care about 5:30. Amy was looking pretty rough, and I knew I couldn't look any better. We ate a bit when we got home, and both collapsed into bed.

Thursday, October 22

I woke in some pain Wednesday morning, rousing when Amy climbed out of bed. She gave me some tablets, and I joked that I hoped they were not hormone tablets. Amy looked guiltily away, and I assured her I was only trying to lighten the mood. I felt bad that I had hurt her so carelessly.

After Amy left, I drifted in the floaty state common with the stronger pain meds. About 9:00 the doorbell rang, and I was almost lucid enough to know what I was doing as I opened it. It was Paul, and my first thought was "I look like hell!" I invited him in, as I was not up to standing at the door. He scooped me up and carried me to the couch, then sat in the chair close by.

"I was worried about you. I expected to see you yesterday. I rang the bell, but no one answered. When you didn't show today either, I was afraid something had happened."

"Oh, I am so sorry, Paul, I had a minor surgical procedure Tuesday evening, and was out of it all day yesterday. I never thought to call you. Can you forgive me?"

"Jamie! There is nothing to forgive! I have just been so worried about you. You were so… so beaten when I saw you Monday, not the pretty, vivacious lady that I have come to know and care for. I just wanted to do what I could to get that wonderful lady back!"

I blushed, but could not think of anything to say. So Paul finally continued. "I want to help. Please let me. I am a good listener."

I glanced at him, then hung my head. I don't know why, but I had to try to talk to someone.

"It was last Friday. I went out with a man from Amy's work. After a nice evening, I was a little drunk. I dozed off, and he…" gulp, this is so hard, "he took advantage of me." By now tears were trickling from my eyes.

"Oh, Jamie, I am so sorry. Now I understand Amy's comment about killing the bastard!"

"There's more. Um. It was my first time…" big deep breath, "… as a woman."

"That son of a bitch, maybe I'll do what Amy said." Paul suddenly stopped, was silent a few minutes as I hung my head. "Wait. As a woman?"

A huge sob worked its way from deep in my gut and burst forth. "Yes."

Silence. I was afraid to look at his face. Finally he said, "I don't understand."

I glanced at his face, and quickly back down. "I am not a woman, Paul, at least I wasn't, and I wasn't supposed to stay one. This was all part of something way too complicated to explain to someone not in on it from the beginning. Two months ago, I was James, very happily married to Amy. Two weeks from now, I was supposed to be James, very happily married to Amy. In the mean time, I am in what was to be a very elaborate, and temporary, disguise for Halloween. Amy's double. The reason that I seemed such a 'pretty, vivacious lady' is because I have learned to be Amy, and that is exactly what she is. The most incredible creature on the face of this earth."

I ran out of steam, and wilted back into the cushions. I could not believe I told someone else the story. I had dumped a huge load on Paul, so I closed my eyes, and gave him time to digest it. I was too drained to do anything else, anyway.

Paul made a strangled sound in his throat, and I opened my eyes to look at him. "She is pretty incredible, because I fell in love with her without ever meeting her. I fell in love with you."

I wailed "Noooo. You can't!" and squeezed my eyes shut against a new flood of tears that threatened. Then whispered "I think I fell a bit in love with you, too." Then stronger, "but that is in a make believe world, and cannot, must not happen in the real world. You're a pretty great guy, from what I can tell, Paul. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," he sighed, then had a thought. "But you said, 'supposed to be James in two weeks'. Is this a complication of what that SOB did to you?"

"No, just an accidental overdose of meds that may mean I can never fully be a man again." I couldn't stop the tears any longer, and they flowed down my cheeks as I wailed "Oh, Paul, I may have lost Amy forever, at least my marriage to her."

Paul moved to the couch and pulled me into his arms, stroking my hair and making soothing sounds, letting me cry myself out, telling me everything would be alright.

Paul made soup again for lunch, and we ate together. Neither of us could think of much to say. Paul left soon after, demanding that I call on him if there was anything he could do. He asked when I might walk again, and I told him probably not before Monday.

I took another pain pill, and slept most of the afternoon. Amy brought home Chinese take-out, and woke me when she had things ready to eat. I went to bed while she cleared things away, and was asleep before she got to the bedroom.

Friday, October 23

I woke early the next day, seeing by the alarm clock that Amy would not need to rise of another hour. I was feeling much better, though my bottom was still uncomfortable. I propped myself on my side so I could gaze at Amy sleeping, and let my mind wander.

I thought how lucky I was to have such a beautiful, loving wife. That someone as incredible as her had chosen, and really seemed to love, someone as unprepossessing as me! It was beyond understanding. I was small, for a man, even though I was of a height with Amy, who was rather tall for a woman, at 5' 8", and while not puny, I was light at my former 145.

Then my mind wandered to the future. What would I do if I was sterile and impotent? Would I try to go back to being James, knowing I could never make love to Amy again? Knowing I would prevent her from having a child, at least the normal way? Or should I stay Jamie? Could I live with Amy dating and loving another man, if that was her best chance at long term happiness? That thought staggered me. And what of me, if I became a woman? Would Amy and I be lesbian lovers? We had enjoyed the novelty of a pseudo-lesbian relationship, but I couldn't see Amy doing it long term. If I got my own vagina to replace a non-functional dick, could I let a man in there? Could I feel comfortable enough with a man to do that? Surprisingly, I decided the answer was probably yes. But could I 'cheat' on Amy by willingly sleeping with someone else? Even though I could no longer be her husband? I had my doubts about that one. Amy was the center of my life. I had dedicated myself to her with my wedding vows, and even though circumstances had conspired to lead me to cheat once (with Jerry), I still didn't feel unfaithful to her, or our vows. Nor could I imagine willingly violating them later, even should this end our legal marriage.

I decided I didn't want to think down that path anymore, so I turned to the more immediate future, the time leading up to and immediately after the party. What to do? Bail out now? Go through with the original charade at the party? A middle ground, attend the party, but skip the impersonation?

I couldn't see any real advantage to ending the challenge now. What could be done to salvage my manhood was happening whether I quit or not. And there was the flip side that had gotten buried in the newness of being a woman, the original reason for the challenge. I couldn't quit on pain of alienating Sandy. So, that eliminated the first option.

Just survive Halloween? Or try to enjoy it as much as possible. That is what the other two options came down to. I know I could use some enjoyment about now, and I figured Amy needed some as well. Besides, if we got into it, it could distract us from the time bomb ticking inside my body that we could only wait out. So the best option as I saw it was to go all out. Hone my Amy impersonation so we could milk it for all it was worth that night. Get both Amy and I so engaged in the deception that we could forget our worries and have a blast at the party.

Amy stirred. I looked at the clock, and saw it was a few minutes till the alarm, so I reached to turn it off. I then started gently stroking Amy's face, breasts, outer thighs, calves, feet, then back up again. Amy sighed and rolled onto her back. I took advantage of this full access to her breasts, and sucked one nipple into my mouth while lightly tweaking the other with a painted fingernail. Amy moaned, and pushed her tit up into my mouth, so I sucked harder as I pinched and twisted the other nipple. Her breathing grew heavier, even though she had not opened her eyes yet. I pulled back slightly and blew on the moist point, causing it to chill, and watched it pucker up and become more erect. I switched sides, and continued my ministrations. She was almost panting by this time. Her eyes flew open, than the lids sank back languidly. She looked at me through the lowered lids and breathed "Morning, lover." I pulled back to answer, but she wailed "Nooo, don't stop!" So I didn't, attacking with greater intensity, frequently switching breasts, but keeping the ground assault active on the other puckered bud. It wasn't long before Amy went rigid, gasped, then shook in orgasm. I eased my ministrations, and let her float slowly back to earth. I was thinking, 'Amy can get off with just her tits being stimulated too!' After Jerry's comment about me, that made me feel better about myself.

"Oh, honey, it has been so long. That was wonderful!" I had to agree. I know I had enjoyed it, and from my point of view, it looked like Amy had as well. She suddenly pushed me over on my back, swung across and zeroed in on my limp prick. In an instant it was sucked deep within her mouth, and it was my turn to moan. Her hand found one of my breasts to massage and tweak as she did wonderful things with her lips, tongue, and teeth for about the next 10 minutes. Then I repeated her behavior to a 'T'. My body went rigid as a gasp escaped my lips, then my whole body shook, and I was somewhere above the clouds. This was just what I had imagined Amy felt as I watched her a bit ago. She continued loving my still soft penis, extending the feelings as I calmed down.

She moved up beside me, and said quietly "It's not my first choice, but I could get used to this if we end up without other alternatives." God, I loved this woman.

It was well after alarm time, so she hopped up quickly and went to shower. I got up, and in spite of the discomfort in my butt, felt mentally better than I had since that fateful day last Friday. I fixed coffee and something for Amy to eat while she dressed, then told her of my thoughts about the party as she quickly wolfed down the food. She smiled, the first one I had seen in a while, and said she agreed. With a devilish grin she added we would have to work up something really spectacular! Then she was gone for the day.

I went to get ready to see Dr. Simmons. I determined I was going to take pride in my appearance, man or woman. I scrubbed my hair, and spend extra time making it look nice. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I saw a very slender, blonde beauty looking back, one with the hollowed out cheekbone look so in vogue with models these days. I had always thought Amy could be a model, and now, so could I. Especially if I had the final operation.

I knew I had lost 10 pounds the first month of this craziness. Out of curiosity, I stepped on the bathroom scale, and saw I had dropped to 123. Another 12 lbs.! Even with the extra weight in my boobs, I weighed two pounds less than Amy did when this started. But then, I had hardly eaten for the last week.

I hadn't worn the corset recently, too many other distractions. I pulled it around my waist and did up the hooks. It just hung loosely against my waist, resting on my hips. I wondered if I would even feel it if it was laced up, but I could not do it by myself. Removing the corset, I measured my waist, to find it was down to 20". That was what Amy had measured WITH the corset.

I put on some of my sexiest lingerie. I wanted to feel good about myself, and since I was a woman right now, that meant looking my girlish best. More special attention to makeup. Full daytime warpaint, not my usual slapdash. Then I searched the closet to find something that fit my mood.

What I found was a sky blue full skirt that hung beautifully to mid calf, and would swirl out very full if I twirled around, an ivory silk blouse that I left unbuttoned to show off my cleavage, and a little heart pendant that hung between my breasts. Inside were tiny pictures of Amy and I from before our wedding. I spritzed some of Amy's perfume in a few strategic spots, and I was ready.

It felt great to be outdoors again, and I breathed deep as I walked in to Dr. Simmons' building. After a bit of a wait, I was shown into his office, and settled into the indicated chair.

Rick was a bit surprised by my appearance, apparently having talked to Amy yesterday. He was aware of my hormone trouble, so I didn't have to explain. He asked what led to my cheerful attitude, and attention to personal grooming.

"I've done a lot of thinking, and I've realized something. I want to be James again, more than any but one thing. That one thing is that I want to spend the rest of my life with Amy. And I have come to believe that we can be happy with me either as James, or as Jamie. I think we would both prefer it was James, but we will survive, and love as much if it has to be Jamie."

He pondered that, then filed it away for later examination. Then the gentle probing questions started. I answered them as truthfully and completely as possible, and only teared up once or twice when a particular question brought home what I may have lost.

Rick: "Do you think you are homosexual, that is lesbian, as Jamie?"

Me: "No. I think probably bi."

Risk: "Could you make love to a man as Jamie?"

Me: "Under the right circumstances, probably, but I have no wish to be unfaithful to Amy."

Rick: "You answer yes, even after what happened on your 'date'?"

Me: "Yes, even after that. There are men I have met that I think I would feel comfortable making love to. I don't think all men are like my 'date'."

The questioning continued for the rest of the hour, never advising, sometimes asking for clarification, always leading me to a destination I could not yet envision. He was letting me talk out my feelings, and let me realize for myself what was best. I felt it would be a long time before I was able to decide that, even with his careful queries.

Just before the end of my hour, he asked "You have settled in awfully quickly as a woman. Even confirmed transsexuals often take years to get to the ease, grace, and looks that you have gained in less than two months. Why do you think that is?"

"Well, after the initial shock of the cosmetic procedures, I knew it was just a disguise. And it was for an excellent cause, making my wife happy by regaining harmony with her best friend. So I threw myself into it, whole heartedly, knowing I would resume my role as Amy's husband when it was over. And the best thing about it was that all I had to do was what I loved to do. I had to learn everything about Amy. How she moved, how she reacted in all circumstances, how she smelled, and thought, and smiled, and gestured. In short, I had absolute permission to study as much as I wanted the thing I loved most. And we made it fun. Also, it was exciting, sexually, for both of us, until I lost my ability to perform. Even for a while after, until the hormones or whatever toned down my desire. By now, the preparations, and the mannerisms have just become so, um, normal, that it is just easier to be female, then to not. And I expect tremendous benefit when I am James again, in terms of understanding my wife, being able to read her moods in her actions, to anticipate, and so love her even better." Rick had listened without interruption, and when I finished, indicated he would see me next Tuesday.

Afterward, I would have loved lunch with Amy, but that wouldn't work, so, on the spur of the moment, I drove down town, entered Paul's building and arrived at his desk unannounced, hoping he would be there. And maybe partly hoping he would not.

My luck was good, he was there. Or maybe it was bad, we would see. He looked up in surprise, then in admiration as he scanned my body.

"Hello, Jamie."

"Oh, sure it's not Amy?" I teased.

"Yeah," was his quiet reply. "Identical as you are, I can tell the difference."

That brought some heat to my cheeks.

"So, are we on speaking terms after the other day?"

"As Jamie, or as Amy?" he kidded. Then answered "Yeah."

I screwed up my courage, and asked, "So, you free for lunch today?"

"No." My face fell. "But I will get free. Give me just a minute." He disappeared down the hall. Before he returned, Mr. Johnson came by, and perked up when he saw me.

"Thought any more about our offer?" He asked.

"Actually, yes, I am seriously considering it, but I cannot give you a decision yet."

"Well, that's progress I guess. We are all hoping you say yes, especially Paul." he said with a grin.

Paul returned and said he was good to go, so I waved bye to Mr. Johnson, and Paul ushered me to the elevators.

Paul led me to one of those old-fashioned diners, the kind with the long counter along one long side wall, a narrow aisle, and a single row of booths along the other. We passed several open booths to get to the last one toward the back. We slid in across from each other, and Paul just stared at me for a minute. "You're looking good today, much better than the last time I saw you."

"Thanks. I've had time to do some thinking. I've realized that gender is not that important to me. I'd prefer to get back to my original self, but if not, I can live with this, and even like it."

We paused while the waitress dropped some menus, took our drink order, then moved away.

"Wow. I don't think I could be that accepting about it. I guess too much of me is wrapped up in masculinity."

I smiled sadly, "Yup, that's you alright. Even at my macho best, I was never like you. I was always more… Hmm. androgynous doesn't seem quite right, but something like that. Amy always said I was man enough for her, but I think it was more a matter of being soulmates, not gender roles. The fact that I was marginally male just made it easier, and more socially acceptable to get together."

"Damn, I can't believe you're a man! You really threw me for a loop when you told me that."

"Well", I grinned, "not much of a man at the moment!" spreading my arms to the side, thrusting my chest out, and swiveling my torso side to side a little. We both laughed. "Boy, it feels good to laugh, it's been a while."

"Yeah, with what you've been going through, I bet! So, how are things? You and Amy doing OK?"

"Yeah, we are. I think we're gonna make it no matter which way this thing goes."

"So I don't stand a chance with you, huh?" he said with mock hurt. At least I hope it was mock.

But I played it like it was a joke, hoping it was. "Nope, already spoken for, studmuffin. But you make a great friend."

"Yeah, that's me, always the bridesmaid, never the bride!"

"Oh, pooh. There's some great gal just waiting to be scooped up by you!"

His answer was soft, "Yeah, I thought I'd found her this time." But then he grinned, "but if you're taken, and you say you're a knockoff of Amy, maybe I should make a play for the original, ya think?"

I swatted his arm across the table, and said "Hands off, buster! That original is mine!"

The waitress brought our drinks, and asked for our order. Of course, we hadn't opened the menu yet, so she had to come back. The place was pretty good. The seasoning on my grilled chicken sandwich was super. I watched Paul put away a half pound burger with all the trimmings, and fries, and thought about the old days when I ate like that. My how things have changed!

I did manage to steal a couple fries off his plate when he wasn't looking. Well, maybe he just let me get away with it. It was good to have someone to just talk to. It was something I had been missing since I left my full time job for consulting work.

Paul insisted on picking up the check, much to my chagrin. Before we left, I asked him how it would go if it was James who took the consulting contract with his company. Paul looked sad, but said there should be no problem.

We walked outside, and separated, me to my car, and Paul back to his office.

Back home, I had more energy than I had had for the past week. I reflected that it was a week ago tonight I had the fateful date with Jerry. But I had finally come to terms with what I now was, and what I might be in the future. I changed into shorts and a halter top tied under my breasts, and tore into some serious housecleaning. I hadn't been helping out much recently, and the state of the house showed it.

By the time Amy came home, I had made serious inroads on the cleaning, and I had a nice meal waiting for the finishing touches. Being married to a doctor, I had long since learned how to put a meal together that could wait indefinitely for a late arrival, and then take only a few minutes to turn out a fresh, hot meal. It felt really good to be contributing again.

Amy was impressed. She came to me, and gathered me in her arms, so our breasts were pressed together, and out mouths were centimeters apart. "Come here, you!" she breathed. "I love you so much! And I am so glad to see you come out of the funk you have been in for a week." With that, she kissed me deeply, and then the final preparations had to wait a while more. We worked each others clothes off as we moved to the bedroom, leaving a trail behind us. We made slow, gentle love for what seemed like hours. Well, mostly gentle. It did get rather physical there for a while.

While we finished preparing dinner and ate, I talked with Amy about why I was functioning better, about my decision that my male gender was important, but not nearly so important to me as she was. That now I believed I would be with her no matter how the gender thing came out, I could live, and enjoy either result. What we did in the bedroom just now was kind of a confirmation of that, even if it was not the same as it was back when I was a man. She warned me that even if I really believed that, my emotional troubles were far from over, whichever way I went. I reflected she was probably very right.

I slept better that night than I had for quite a while.

Saturday, October 24

The next morning, Amy suggested we take a weekend away, drive up to the mountains and get a room, some time just to be with each other, away from our everyday burdens. I asked, but she said she was not on call this weekend. So we packed a bag with clothes that either of us could wear, tossed it in the car, and headed for the hills.

The weather was beautiful, as it normally is this time of year. We drove with the windows down and the wind swirling our hair until the altitude got high enough that it was too chilly. We stopped at a little chalet by a stream. It housed a Swiss themed restaurant where we ate lunch. About mid afternoon, we found a little inn with a vacancy, set off the highway, back in the tall trees. We checked in, and carried the bag into our room. We traded the shorts and cropped tops we were wearing for warmer clothes and sturdy shoes, and took off walking to explore the area. We returned somewhat worn out. All the up and down took a lot more energy than the flatland walking I was used to. And Amy wasn't even used to that!

We ate supper in the little café adjacent to the inn, then returned to our room, and soaked our aching muscles in the Jacuzzi. We soaked too long, and were limp as noodles and wrinkled as prunes when we emerged. We donned matching silk nighties and crawled in bed.

Sunday, October 25

When we rose Sunday, we packed our bag and checked out before finding a place for breakfast. At the diner, we asked about scenic drives in the area, and several of the male customers were more than happy to offer their suggestions to two pretty girls. With all the advice, we were more confused then when we first asked, but between Amy and I, we pieced enough 'advice' together to select a well maintained back road to drive higher into the surrounding mountains. We enjoyed the scenery, stopping occasionally at pretty shaded streams, or scenic overlooks. A little after 1:00 we came upon a small village, and found a cozy place to eat lunch. We then asked directions back to the city, and found the help much more useful than what we received this morning. We continued to enjoy the beautiful countryside, occasional stops with short walks in the cool air, and toward evening, with still an hour or so drive to home, we stopped for dinner.

We had had a wonderful time, and Amy seemed refreshed for the week ahead. And then, of course, next Saturday was the party.

Monday, October 26

I rose with Amy, and fixed coffee and fruit while she showered and dressed. We ate, then I kissed her goodbye as she left for the day. I think this was the first day in over a week, maybe even longer, that she wasn't concerned to leave me alone.

I eagerly donned my walking clothes, reveling in the tight, formfitting pink leotard and royal blue short shorts. I used leggings this morning, as the day hadn't warmed up yet. I put on my pink trimmed walking socks, and the feminine walking shoes with the pink laces. I marveled that I was trying so to look feminine for just a walk around the park, but then, I was expecting to see Paul! I wondered again just what I was up too.

I locked up, walked down the street to the park, and entered the walking path. As I approached the place I normally met Paul, he was not there, and my spirits plunged, until I heard someone calling me. Paul was hurrying along, trying to get my attention. As I waited for his approach, I watched him moving. Yes, he was a well turned out man. Not that I had been ugly, or unpleasing in appearance, but I would never have been considered a hunk. Paul arrived, and I fell in step with him this time. He greeted me cheerfully, and we chatted while we made the two circuits of the walking trail. When we neared the place I normally split off, I asked him if he was up for a third round. He declined, as he had a meeting at work this morning. I continued on my way, and he left. I mused as he left how lucky he was to have the flexibility in his work schedule that he could be out here now, when most working stiffs would have been at their desks for hours already. Then I realized he was still not as fortunate is I, with my 'work anytime as long as the job is done on time' consulting schedule.

I returned home after the third lap, and soaked in a hot bath, spiced with scented bath oil. I had missed this when I was wearing the corset full time. But I didn't really need the corset anymore. If anyone did, it was Amy, I thought with a smile.

I decided this would be a good time to check the fit of our Jeannie costumes, so I pulled them from the back of the closet. I had to study them for a while to figure out how they were worn. It was made up of several parts, done in primarily two fabrics, red velvet and rose colored silk, some transparent, some opaque. The parts in red velvet had silver piping for trim.

The bottom was a sort of red velvet girdle and nearly transparent rose silk pantaloons. The girdle rode very low on the hips, and extended down only maybe 4", ending just above the pubic mound. The silk pantaloons extended loose and baggy till they were gathered with elastic at the ankle. They were colorful, but hid nothing! It was a good thing there were opaque rose silk panties to wear under the girdle!

The top was in two parts, a "bra" made of transparent rose silk, gathered tightly below the breasts, coming up over the breasts somewhat loosely and tight again above, leaving lots of cleavage visible. Thankfully, there was an opaque silk lining that fit snugly over the breasts and gave some support. The second piece of the top was a red velvet bolero jacket that came down to the bottom of the boobs, and easily lacked 8 inches of closing in front, leaving a clear view of the bosom gently enfolded in very little silk.

Finally, there was a hat, kind of a tapered pillbox, done in red velvet with a transparent silk veil that looped below the chin rather than covering the face.

Well, there's no time like the present. Musing that there was nothing else needed, I stripped naked, and started putting on the various pieces. The bottom was snugged with elastic, and rode about like hipster panties, barely covering the top of my pubic hair. The pantaloons were long, but when the elastic gathers snugged around my ankles, they billowed out nicely. The bra was something else. Remember, both Amy and I were up two cup sizes since we bought these. To say my cups runneth over would be an understatement. This would barely be considered decent! The jacket was pushed way out in front by my increased bust line. The hat was intended to fit over braided hair coiled on top of my head. But I wasn't up to that today. That would be for the salon Saturday morning. I slipped into the shoes. Oops, those must be Amy's. Yup, the other pair fits better.

I viewed the final result in the full length mirror. This costume may not be absolutely authentic, but it surely was sexy! This was going to be fun, once I got past all my blushes!

I left the costume on for a while to try to get used to it. Then I had a wicked thought. I called Paul to see if he could come by tomorrow before we walked, as I had something to show him.

Before long, I was pretty used to the heels. They were higher than most I had worn, but I had gotten quite a bit of practice in heels this past two months. Except for the exposure, the costume was very comfortable. Which was good, because there would be enough other things making me uncomfortable the night of the party.

Before making lunch, I carefully removed and repacked the costume. I didn't want to take a chance on staining it before we could use it.

After lunch, I attacked the housecleaning again, determined to get the house completely back into shape the rest of this week.

Dinner was waiting almost ready when Amy got home. She joked about what a great housewife I made. I reflected that she wasn't far off. As we ate, I asked about her day, then told her about the cleaning, and trying on the costume.

After dinner, I stripped Amy and helped her into her costume as well. We giggled over how much cleavage our DD boobs showed in the undersized tops. Just to see the effect, I redressed in my costume as well. The resemblance was amazing. With our hair now colored to match, the only thing that clearly told us apart was our eye color. I set up the digital camera on the tripod, and had it snap several pictures, with us in various increasingly silly poses. I wanted to remember this escapade for a long time.

Tuesday, October 27

Tuesday morning, I showered with Amy, then helped her dress, and we made breakfast together. Well, breakfast was rather rushed because we had spent way too much time in the shower.

When she was gone, I ran excitedly to the bedroom, dragged out the costumes, and for the third time, pulled everything on. I wanted nothing to distract today, so I used the adhesive to firmly attach the gaff. I left off the shoes and hat, and grabbed a floor length terrycloth robe, ready for when Paul arrived. When the doorbell rang, I pulled the robe tightly around me and answered the door, inviting Paul to wait in the living room. I scampered back to the bedroom, closed the door, shed the robe, and slipped into the shoes. I adjusted the hat on my head as I moved down the hall. All was ready before I emerged in the living room. Paul heard the tap of my heels, and turned toward me as I entered the room. His mouth dropped open, as he stood in stunned silence.

I batted my lashes at him and asked shyly, "Like?"

Paul had to try a couple times before anything would come out of his mouth. Finally he managed "Yeah!" which made me giggle. I walked toward him, stopping at the halfway point to pirouette, then stopped to look at him. He was still frozen in place. I got a devilish grin on my face, and eased slowly up to him, reached up on each side of his head, pulled his head toward mine, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Paul pulled up in shock, and stumbled back a couple of half steps. I realized what I had done, and said "I'll be ready in a sec" as I rushed to the bedroom. I closed the door and leaned back against it, as my heart beat wildly. Then I pulled myself up and quickly stripped, laying the costume across the bed. I pulled on the walking clothes I had laid out, slipped into the walking shoes, and headed for the front door, calling for Paul to follow.

I set a stiff pace walking that morning, trying to outrun my mortification. I didn't succeed. Paul easily kept up, of course, but it was well into the second loop of the path before either of us said anything.

"Sorry about that", I said.

"Nothing to be sorry about. I always enjoy a kiss from a beautiful woman! Just a little surprised, I guess. I seem to be getting a lot of mixed signals around here recently."

"Yeah, sorry about that, too. I guess my head isn't screwed on as straight as I had thought." The stiff pace had me breathing hard by this point, but I wouldn't let up.

When we finished the third circuit, Paul said "See you later in the week, maybe."

I mumbled some reply as I rushed toward the safe haven of home.

I quickly showered, as I had another appointment with Dr, Simmons at 11:00. I prepared myself double quick today. When I was ready, I was satisfied with my looks, but it wasn't up to last Friday's standard. I suspected Rick would notice, and have some thoughts about this too.

I barely made it on time, and was soon seated in Rick's office. Rick had to work a little hard to get me started this time. I figured he knew something was up. I finally loosened up, and then it all came rushing out. About the kiss. About my guilt over it. Even about my lunch with Paul last Friday, and my new awareness of what it might have meant, not just a meeting of two buddies.

That's one of the things I hate about psychologists. They never say anything directly. They always answer a question with a question. They always try to make you figure out the answers with their carefully worded questions. Well, today I wanted none of that. I wanted answers! And I proceeded to tell Rick that, in no uncertain terms. He sat back and listened to my tirade, then asked if that had made me feel any better. Another damn question!

"No!" I huffed. "I won't feel better till I get some bloody answers, not just more bloody questions! I have enough questions in my life, I don't need any more right now!"

Rick sat back and steepled his fingers in front of his nose. Boy, do they teach that move in psychologist school? I decided I wasn't going to say another thing till I got something from him. Anything!

So we sat in silence, Rick looking at me expectantly, patiently. I just sat there fuming. The clock ticked around, and I was more determined than ever not to give in. Time finally ran out, and he reminded me of Friday's appointment, the last before the party. Before I could rise to leave, he quietly asked "Are you going to tell Amy?" I didn't answer that question, either. Because I didn't have an answer for it.

I went home, and changed into my housecleaning uniform, short shorts and halter, then vented my aggravation by taking it out on the house. My mind was working non-stop as I went through the mindless labor. I couldn't help but think on the questions Rick had asked, and on the questions he would have asked had I answered the earlier ones. He was doing his psychologist thing on me, and I wasn't even in his office! But slowly I calmed down, and the answers to some of the questions emerged. Not enough, but some. First, I knew I had to tell Amy. Back when I thought it was a buddy thing, there was no reason to either hide or tell. Now that things were different, or my perception of things was different, it would be dishonest to withhold that information. I hoped it wouldn't hurt Amy to hear it. I don't even know what 'it' is. How do I get myself into these messes?

Dinner was ready when Amy walked in the door. The white wine was chilled, and I was dressed casually, nice slacks and modest blouse, but barefoot. Amy sensed something was up, and changed quickly, in a style much like mine. Rather I should say my style was like hers, because that is where I learned it. We sipped wine while we ate, and I held off till we were settled in the family room. Amy had always been in sync enough with me to follow along, knowing when and how the talking would begin. No pressure. We both knew we would talk, and that we would be totally honest with each other.

We were side by side on the sofa, and I pulled her against me, cuddling her softness against mine.

Trying to ease the tension, she joked "That bad, is it?"

I wasn't joking when I answered "Yeah." This was going to be hard. "Amy, I… um, don't know where to start."

"Well, the beginning is always a good place."

"Normally. But I think I will start at the end this time. Amy, um", I couldn't look at her. I mumbled "I kissed Paul today."

She stayed silent for a minute, then tilted my head up so she could look in my eyes. After searching my eyes for a moment, she quietly asked "Do you love me?"

My answer was instant, "Yes! Love is such a pale word for what I feel for you!" She seemed satisfied with what she saw in my eyes.

Very quietly "Do you love Paul?"

"I… think so. At least a little." She still watched my eyes.

"Does this affect your decision between James and Jamie?"

I tried to look down, but Amy wouldn't let me. She still gazed steadily into my eyes. "God, I don't know. I don't know!" the last coming as a sob.

"Hush, honey. It's all right. We will be OK. We can work this out. Shhh." As tears started dripping from the eyes she still would not let me lower. "Tell me about it."

I wanted so desperately to look away, but Amy held me firm. "When I tried on my costume yesterday, I though that my friend Paul would not go to the party, so he wouldn't see it. So I invited him over before we walked this morning, and surprised him, in the whole getup. He was so surprised. He just stood there with his mouth hanging open. It was so cute. I just got this sudden impulse, and pulled his head down into a kiss. It was over in an instant. I was so embarrassed, I ran to our room, changed for walking, and practically ran out of the house and around the park three times. We hardly said a word the whole way." I wound down then.

The whole time, she read the truth of my words, and read my feelings, in my eyes. "What else?"

How does she do that? I guess we know each other too well. I called her my soul mate once. How true that seems to be. Somehow, I must never lose this woman. "Um, last Friday, after my psychologist visit, I really wanted to see you, to have lunch with you, but I knew it wouldn't work. So I decided to have lunch with my buddy Paul. I drove to his office and asked him to lunch. We ate in a little diner near his work. Then I came home, and he went back to work."

Still searching my eyes "Anything else?"

Oh, man, she can be brutal at times! "I really, consciously, thought of Paul as just a buddy, a friend, at the time. I wonder now if I didn't know something different, and would just not admit it. And that morning, I took special care dressing. I thought at the time that it was to make a statement to Dr. Simmons, but now I wonder if I didn't do it with Paul in mind, at least a little."

"Mmm, Hmm. You got it bad, sweety. Yes, siree, Bob!" She let go of my chin. She had pulled the truth from the bottom of my soul, so there was no more need to delve.

"You're not mad?" I managed to whisper.

"No, honey. Not mad, not even hurt. What is, is. And this was a lot my doing. Better to be mad at me than you." She reflected for a while. "I can't see where this is going. But I know one thing, you are the other half of my soul. I will not give you up! Not without one hell of a fight. But, I don't think this is about us breaking up. I don't know what this is yet. Maybe this is you under the influence of estrogen, exploring your female side. Maybe it is really love. I have never believed that there is one and only one person in this world for each of us to love. Maybe you have just been lucky enough to find two in your lifetime. But I know what we have, you and I, is more than love. It is a soul-deep connection. And loving someone else is not going to damage that, or make that go away. Somehow we will work through this, and come out stronger, more in love than we are today."

Wednesday, October 28

Wednesday and Thursday alternately crawled and flew by. The party was rushing at me like an avalanche, unstoppable. I walked both mornings, but did not see Paul. When I buried myself in the housework, time passed quickly. When I ran out of things to do, time seemed to stop. Not much of note happened, other than me working myself into a frenzy.

Friday, October 30

Friday finally arrived, after a sleepless night. D-Day minus 1. I was nervous about the party. I was nervous about Paul. I was nervous about Dr. Simmons. I was just plain nervous!

I dressed for walking again, anxious to walk off some of my nervous tension. I wasn't expecting to see Paul today, after the last time, and his absence the last two days. But he was there waiting for me. My insides were all clenched painfully tight as he fell in beside me. He gave me an easy greeting, but his eyes were out of sync. We gradually worked back into our easy banter by the second lap, and the last time around was quite enjoyable.

When I started to head off home, Paul stopped me. "Jamie, wait. I need to know where things stand between us. I am going crazy!"

"Doesn't it bother you that I am really a man?"

"No! You are a beautiful loving woman. Maybe you were a man, according to you, you were. Maybe you will be a man some day. But right now, all I see is all woman. And I am falling in love with that woman."

I changed tacks, "I told Amy about kissing you, about everything."

He wasn't prepared for that one, "What did she say?"

"She said I was lucky because I might have found two true loves in my lifetime, if what I feel for you turns out to be true love."

I don't think he knew how to respond to that. So he went a different direction. "And what do you say?"

In a whisper "I think I may be falling in love with you, too."

His face perked up noticeably "And what does Amy say about that?"

"She won't give me up without a fight."

"Oh?"

"But as long as she doesn't lose me or my love, she doesn't seem to have a problem with me loving someone else."

Paul looked like he had been hit by a half dozen 18 wheelers, one after the other. He was just about reeling with shock after shock. "What does that mean for us?"

There were tears in my voice as I said "I don't know. I don't know if I will be woman or man next week. I don't know if I will love you when I am a man again, if I am a man again. I don't know if you can love me if I am a man. I don't know. I don't know!" With that, I turned and ran for home.

Paul had made me late enough that I didn't have time to do much about getting ready for Dr. Simmons. Just wash the worst of the sweat and tears off, dash on a touch of lipstick, pull on something clean, and race out the door. I made it in time, but just.

Rick noted my red swollen eyes immediately, but waited for me to bring it up. He started out with easy questions about what I had been doing with my time, was I ready for the party, how was Amy. If he just knew, not a one of those questions were easy right now. He finally got to how I was feeling today, and the dam burst. It all came pouring out, my confused feelings for Paul, which he already knew. My confession to Amy, and her probing for the deepest secrets. Her acceptance, my confusion. Paul's profession of budding love. My uncertainty about remaining a woman, and near certainty of losing Paul if I didn't.

He asked if I could express my feelings on my gender now.

"No." But I stopped to think about it a little more. "I can say this, though. I never wanted to be a woman, I was always happy to be male, even if I wasn't a macho guy. Being a woman has been easy, at least for the most part, and has had its rewards. But I still don't 'want' to be a woman, though if I had to stay this way, I think I could live a happy life, as long as I had Amy, and possibly Paul."

That was rather a rambling answer, so I tried to think how to sum it up. "I guess I have two basic desires that are at odds: I would rather be a man, but I don't want to lose Paul. Of those, I think the first is stronger. But. If, for medical reasons, I could not return to James, I think I could still have a happy life, though I would bitterly miss being a father."

Through his steepled hands "In spite of your denial of knowing how you feel, that seems like a fairly concise summary of it. Are you comfortable that that is your real feelings, at this point? Is it safe to base our forward progress on that description?"

I tried to mentally review what I said, and finally answered "Yes."

"OK. Tuesday is your first appointment after the party. That is where we said we would start rebuilding your life as you felt it should be. So it seems, based on the way you stated the goal, the first question that must be answered is 'medically, is it possible for you to function as a male?' Aside from your other two criteria, your path goes different directions depending on the answer to that question. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

"Then what I propose, post-party, is this. The medical fight is on the hormonal level, not cosmetics. It wouldn't make sense to start undoing the cosmetic changes if the result of the hormone problem results in you staying a woman. So, until the first medical question is answered, I suggest you stay physically as you are."

I looked at him, but had no response.

"If the medical result is that you can function as a male, then, unless your thinking changes before that time, we start to reconstruct your manhood, mentally (that's my job) and physically (that's Sandy's job). Does that sound right?"

"I guess."

"And if the medical result is opposite, then you/we still have to work out the future, though you seem to imply that in that case, you think the best course is to remain a woman."

"I am not as sure of that. Maybe. At least there is time to explore that later. I am too stressed and confused right now."

"OK, then. Until next Tuesday. And good luck at the party! See you there."

"Oh yeah, doc, that reminds me. You're one of very few people in the medical group that know how much I look like Amy. We plan to have some fun with that at the party, so would appreciate it if you wouldn't give the game away?"

He assured me it would be not be a problem.

He also remembered that Sandy had called and asked me to stop by for a blood hormone test when I finished.

I trooped over to Sandy's office. The nurse took me to a room, and drew the needed blood. We wouldn't have the results till sometime next week. I was only there 10 minutes, and only saw Sandy to wave at a distance.

When I left, I was at loose ends for the afternoon. I wanted to see Amy, but that wasn't practical this time of day. I wanted to see Paul, but didn't feel right about it. So I decided that grocery shopping was long overdue, and it might as well get done now.

Grocery shopping was a boring as ever. Someone, maybe one of our neighbors, saw me and greeted me as Amy. I made no attempt to correct the mistake. After all, that was why I looked this way, and carrying on the charade was good practice.

Shopping did give me a chance to buy the ingredients for a simple but elegant meal for Amy tonight. I felt in need of some time with her, some reassurance. Amy enjoyed the meal, and we relaxed after. She talked about her day at work, I talked about Dr. Simmons, the blood test, shopping, preparing dinner. I didn't mention about Paul that morning, I didn't feel I had to as Amy knew I was sorting my thoughts about that yet.

We retired early as tomorrow was the culmination of this challenge, and would be a tiring day. Amy became amorous after we had settled into bed, and though I might not have worked up the interest on my own, what with my suppressed libido, Amy's attentions sparked my hunger. While I was not able to enter her, we still enjoyed a long session of tender lovemaking that left us both satisfied in the end. By the time I drifted to sleep, I was feeling much of the reassurance I had been craving earlier. I knew I was well loved.

Saturday, October 31

We arose fairly early Saturday. I felt remarkably relaxed, given the lengths we had gone to prepare for today. I spent some time in the shower trying to figure out why I wasn't more uptight. By this time, I was feeling comfortable enough as Amy's double that I was not stressing over that aspect. I had attended this same party the last couple years, and knew what to expect, so there was no concern there. I knew virtually everyone in Amy's medical group, some quite well, and many of their guests who would be attending. As for the challenge itself, all that was required of me now was to attend as a woman. So I decided it was reasonable for me not to flip out at this point.

Of course, there was the hormone overdose and possible consequences, the issue of Paul, and the pending decision about returning to the male gender. But those were for the future, and I didn't want to stress over them now. I wanted to relax and enjoy this day, and the confusion Amy and I planned to sow this evening.

Another reason for me to feel good about today was that I knew I had succeeded in the challenge. Even though events had overshadowed the original intent, I am still glad that today should resolve one source of pain for Amy. Assuming Sandy lives up to her bargain, and I have no reason the think she might not, the friction between she and I should be on its way to oblivion. I am glad, not only for Amy's sake, but I have liked Sandy all along, and just hadn't known how to get her to trust me.

All of this passed through my mind as I washed, patted dry, powdered, and returned stark naked to our bedroom. Amy was there in bra and panties, looking extremely fine. I felt a little frustration that my normal physical response to such a sight was absent, and wondered if I would ever feel that particular response again. I shook off my doubts for later, and embraced my scantily clad wife against my nakedness, kissing her deeply, tenderly caressing every inch of skin I could reach. She melted to me, and explored my body as well. Things progressed from there, and we passed the next couple of hours in a sensual blur. Amy just seemed to know so well what to do to my body to make it sing, and during the times I was capable of thought, I tried my best to reciprocate, learning how to arouse her body as well.

By the time we finished, and lay languorously on the bed for a while to recover, we were both in need of a shower, and were almost out of time. It was really good we had nothing pressing that morning. Amy used our shower, and I used the hall bath, fearing a shared shower at this point would make us miss our salon appointments. We dressed quickly and casually, ate a quick brunch, and hurried across town, arriving just before our 1:00 appointment time. We were both signed up for the works: shampoo and set on the hair, with touch up of the darker roots that had grown out on both of us, waxing any and everywhere there might be hair needing removal, dramatic evening makeup, and full manicure/pedicure including a deep red nail polish that matched our costumes.

When we left we looked like twins, with my man-made (or Sandy-made) copy of Amy's fantastic body and face, our identical makeup and nail polish, and our identically colored golden blonde hair in braids coiled atop our head in preparation for the Jeannie costumes. Our clothing was the only flaw in the mirror images, as we had made no attempt to dress alike. It was too late for lunch, and there would be food at the party. But both of us were a little hungry after our activities so far, so we decided to grab a quick bite at the mall food court. We both had salads and diet cokes, then returned home for our final preparations.

Getting ready was easy, as we really only needed to strip and don our costumes. Our makeup, hair, and nails were just as we needed them to fit the part.

Amy pulled the costumes from the back of the closet, and began separating them into two piles on the bed while I stripped. Thanks to our earlier amorous activities, I was not yet wearing my gaff, so Amy helped me fasten it snugly in place. She stripped, and we posed in front of the mirror for a minute, marveling at the similarities of our reflections.

Amy suddenly said "Oh!" and dragged me to the bathroom. She got out what she said were non-prescription colored contact lenses. After I managed to get them into my eyes, I saw Amy's face, green eyes and all looking back at me!

We had no real lingerie to put on as the costume came with coordinated panty and bra, so all we needed were identical nude panty hose. This was followed by the rose silk panties, then the velvet girdle, with the diaphanous silk pantaloons attached. After that the rose silk bra, the red velvet bolero jacket, then we helped each other affix the velvet hats atop our heads. We stepped into our 5" red stilettos, and were done. We each collected the makeup and identification we would need into tiny red velvet pocketbooks we would carry, and we were ready to go. I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 7:00 already. My how time flies!

We had made arrangements to ride to the party with Sandy, who was to pick us up at 7:00. Just then, the doorbell rang. We looked at each other, almost like looking in the mirror, and walked to the door with Amy following behind me.

I opened the door, saw it was Sandy, and said "Hi, Sandy. Come on in."

"Hi Amy. I hope Jamie is almost ready, we should be leaving soon," as she walked in. "That is really a spectacular costume!"

"Thanks," I said. About that time she got far enough in to see past me and froze in her tracks.

"Well, well, well. This is quite something!" She studied us for a minute, then said "I really can't tell which is which. Which of you is Amy?"

"I am!" we both answered, and broke out in a giggle.

Sandy just looked bemusedly from one of us to the other.

I said "You will just have to figure it out for yourself on the way."

And Amy added "And we won't be giving you any clues!"

With that, I walked out the door, and waited, keys in hand, as Amy, and finally Sandy followed. I locked up, and by the time I got to Sandy's car, Amy was already in the back seat, so I sat by Sandy.

Sandy kind of smirked, and said "You really had me going there, but now I know!"

Amy asked "Oh, and how is that?"

Sandy glanced in here rear view mirror and said "Give it up, Jamie. You have your Amy act down really great, but Amy always sits up here with me."

Amy got a downcast expression on her face, and said "Oh darn!" while I tried to keep from exploding in laughter.

We chatted on the way, with Amy or I responding regardless of whether the answer should have come from Amy or Jamie. Sandy was looking confused again by the time we arrived.

The party was being held at a local resort's convention facility. Amy's medical group is not that large, but the party had grown over the years to include prominent patients, as well as VIPs from the companies the group worked with. The convention facility was two main adjoining rooms with a sliding partition between them. If it was arranged like last year, there would be a bar and buffet at the far end of these two rooms. Our plan was to stay as far as possible from each other, to minimize the chance people would realize there were two near identical Jeannies tonight. The hope was that everyone would think we were the same person, and often wonder how we got from one end of the party to the other.

There were also several small rooms adjacent with cushy furniture where conversations could be carried on in comfort. There were several more small rooms that were not being used for the party. The party started at 7:00, but things really got rolling around 8:00, and that is when we planned to arrive.

Sandy pulled into a parking space, and Amy climbed out, while I restrained Sandy from leaving, saying "Let Jamie go in alone, then we will go in together in a few minutes", still not correcting Sandy's mistake in our identity.

We waited 10 minutes, then strolled in together, chatting away, greeting any familiar faces we saw.

Alice, one of the nurses working for another doctor in the group called out to me, saying "Didn't I just see you come in a minute ago?"

"Um, yeah, just had to pop back out to wait for Sandy."

"Oh, hi Sandy!"

"Hi Alice.

We got a few steps past Alice before we couldn't restrain our giggles any longer.

I told Sandy that our plan was that she was to switch periodically between Jamie and I to further the confusion. Sandy liked that idea.

We drifted through the crowd, aiming at the closer bar and buffet, since I knew Amy would have headed toward the far one. We finally got drinks, with me carefully remembering to order a white wine, like Amy would have, and in fact was sipping at the far end of the other room right now. We nibbled at the buffet, but I wasn't very hungry. After a while, I sent Sandy off to join "Jamie", and mingled some more. It was probably an hour before I started noticing some bewildered looks in my direction.

I was talking with Rick when Dr. Stan Adams approached, and asked "Didn't I just see you with Sandy over by the other bar?"

I calmly responded, "Oh, you might have, I have been trying to get around to see everyone!" He seemed satisfied with that, and drifted off.

Rick leaned closer and whispered "So, Amy, Jamie was telling me about your plan. It seems to be working!"

I giggled, and agreed, telling him he needed to touch base with both "Amys" tonight.

To one side, where the main rooms joined, there was a small band playing. Selections included Halloween standbys like "Monster Mash" interspersed with dance tunes. I received several invitations to dance, and accepted many of them, being careful to keep my partner near "my" edge of the dance floor, to minimize twin spottings.

I was amazed to see how many of the men, hit on "Amy" once they found that James was not attending tonight. While it surprised me, I was confident enough of my relationship with Amy that I was amused rather than offended.

At midnight there was to be voting for the best costumes. People circulating all evening had been collecting names of those that others thought were in the running. At midnight, the 10 top vote getters would be called up on the stage where the band currently played, and the final winner would be selected by the volume of applause as each was introduced. There were many fine costumes tonight. Some people really went all out to do it right. So I was somewhat surprised when Amy's name was called to come to the stage. We had talked about this, and decided that if it should happen, we would both go up, as that would be a great way to reveal our dual disguise.

I made my way from my end of the room, and as I got closer, saw Amy approaching from the other. As I neared the stage, murmuring began around me, as others obviously saw my twin coming as well. We reached the stairs together, and held each others hands as we climbed the stairs, our backs to the crowd. When we got to the place we should stand, we turned around together, and there was a gasp from the crowd, followed by a smattering of applause. The last two people were called and came to stand beside us, then it was time for the vote-by-applause.

The MC started at the end of the line, and let each finalist introduce themselves. The audience would then applaud, and the volume was measured using a meter supplied by the band.

Then the MC got to us, he looked a little confused, and held the microphone up to me first. Amy and I glanced at each other, then she leaned in and in unison, we introduced ourselves, using her name. There was laughter from the audience, followed by thunderous applause. The MC just shook his head, and moved on to the next finalist.

The novelty factor apparently carried the day, as Amy and I were declared the winners. There was some grumbling from a couple of finalists, as there were some really great costumes there, probably way better than Amy or I individually. We never did tell anyone which of us was which.

The party would start winding down around 1:00, and we knew everyone would be gone by 1:30, but we weren't ready to leave just yet. Amy climbed off the stage first, and headed toward my end of the room, and waved her hand behind her signaling me to go toward the other, so we separated again. I was greeted as Amy by many people, and asked about my double. I just smiled, and made some vague cryptic comments, never really answering their questions.

I got to the bar, and had another glass of wine, must have been 8 or 9 by now, and on a basically empty stomach, I was feeling the effects. Before long, I saw Betty, the secretary to the group director, Dr. Albert, approaching.

"Amy?" she asked hesitantly. I nodded, thinking to keep up the charade. But she continued, "Oh, good. Dr. Albert asked me to find you. Come this way, please."

I wondered if I should correct her as I followed behind. She approached one of the small side rooms not in use for the party, ushered me inside, and closed the door as she left. I looked around the dimly lit room, and saw someone sitting at a conference table. He rose as I walked toward him, and he said "Amy, good, come over here. I'm glad Betty found you before you left. I have something important I need to discuss with you."

I approached hesitantly, "Um, Dr. Albert, I'm not…"

He interrupted, "No need to be all formal now, Amy. We're friends, aren't we?" I nodded meekly, wondering how to straighten things out, but he was continuing, after putting his arm around my shoulders and guiding me toward the back of the room. "As you may have heard, we have a vacancy in the governing board of the group. You have done such good work for us here, shown such dedication, that I have been considering asking you to step into that spot."

I was surprised, and couldn't come up with anything to say. It didn't matter, he was continuing without waiting.

"However, something bothersome has come to my attention recently. I had a very disturbing conversation with Dr. Fredricks a couple days ago. Seems he made some allegations about questionable conduct on your part, and threats by you against him. All very troublesome, and so out of character for you."

I was gasping for breath by this point, "No wait, that's not true!"

"Ah, Amy, I am so disappointed in you. How can you say it's not true when I haven't told you what he has accused you of? But don't worry, darlin, we can still work this out. See, Jerry is a little toad, I never did trust him. So, in spite of this, um, blemish on your fine record, we can reach an accommodation that will still let you sit on the governing board, and give me a very strong ally, too."

I just gaped at him. What had I done to Amy? How could I fix this? I had to tell him I am not Amy, that it was me that did those things, but before I could think what to say, he said "Now, don't you try to deny it, Amy, you don't want to hurt my opinion of you any more, do you?" I dumbly shook my head, but he was going on anyway "Now, as I said, that Jerry is a twerp that I will be glad to be rid of, however, I think I need something from you to prove to me that you should have that seat on the board."

I gasped, "What can I do?"

He slowly reached to unzip his slacks, "Why, just what you did for Jerry, my dear."

I backed away, shaking my head, but he continued, "Or I can blackball you in the medical profession, make sure you never work again in anything more reputable than a backwater clinic in Mexico!"

I stared at him in shock. But he persisted "Now, what is it to be, Mexico?" pointing at the door, meaning to leave if that was my choice, "or the governing board?" and with a triumphant smile at my look of defeat, slid his slacks down to reveal his bulging boxers.

I looked at that large lump with fascinated horror. He stepped forward, and guided me toward him, pressing me to my knees in front of him, and waited. I was frozen to the spot until I heard him impatiently clear his throat. I started, glanced up at his gloating eyes, then back down. I hesitantly reached to that menacing bulge, touching it lightly. He twitched under cover, and I flinched back, then forced myself to reach forward again, moving my fingers inside to discover a semi-hard, hot, throbbing organ within. I almost withdrew, but thought I couldn't do that to Amy. After all, this was nothing I hadn't done before. I steeled myself, and extracted his member, only to have it staring me in the eye. A drop oozed out to glisten at the tip, and after a furtive glance up, I leaned forward to pluck the drop away with my tongue. The light contact brought another twitch, and he stood up even stiffer. I leaned forward, and swirled my tongue around the helmet of his cock, repeating my actions with Jerry. Dr. Albert groaned slightly, and became even harder. I sucked the tip into my mouth, and suckled lightly, flicking the tip of my tongue across the sensitive glans. I moved forward, forcing his penis into my mouth until I had to stop. Pausing, I made a rumbling noise in my throat that sent vibrations down his shaft. I withdrew, letting him slip from my mouth, licked down the length of the underside, finding his ball sack, and swabbed that with my tongue. Coming back up to the tip, I once again captured him and lunged forward, easily passing my prior stopping point, and forcing his sizeable dick into my throat. I fought the gag reflex, and waited for it to pass with my nose pressed into his pubic hair. When I regained control, I set up a rhythm, sliding out, then back down to the root, gathering speed, only wanting this to be over.

Suddenly he grabbed my head, and gently pushed it back, releasing his member. He then grabbed my shoulders, lifting me to my feet, and rotating us so we faced each other, and my back was to the table.

"Drop that sexy costume and sit on the edge of the table!" he commanded.

I nearly panicked, shaking my head vigorously. One thought overrode all others, I couldn't let him discover my secret! I managed to stammer "My period."

He grimaced, then spun me around, forcing me forward over the table, until my boobs and face were pressed to the tabletop. I then felt hands at my hips fumbling for the top edge of the velvet girdle, pulling it down over my bottom to my knees. I almost screamed in terror, but he must have sensed it. I swatted my bottom, hard, and growled "Keep quiet if you know what is good for you!"

With that, I felt a finger probing between my cheeks, eventually finding my back door. He pressed in, stretching the opening. "Relax, or it will hurt more!"

I tried, I really tried, but I just couldn't do as he said. Then I felt something larger probing where his finger had been. Fortunately his dick was still wet from my mouth, so there was some lubricant. He pressed inward, and the pain increased slowly until, with a pop, the head slipped inside. He paused to gain his breath, or maybe he was being considerate, I don't know. The pain subsided gradually, but before I was ready (as if I would ever be ready for this) I felt him pushing forward again, then back, then forward in short strokes, working deeper with each. For me, the pain spiraled upward, leaving me panting in agony.

When he was maybe halfway in, I heard the door opening at the far end of the room, to my right. I don't think Dr. Albert heard, as just then he lunged forward, burying himself to the hilt, and wrenching a scream from me. I was lost in a fog of pain, but saw the lights turn bright, and heard an indignant "What the hell is going on here!" followed by the slamming of the door. It was Amy! I was saved, was my first thought. Then, oh god, no, Amy is going to see this! She won't understand. She is going to hate me! And I passed out.

*****

From what I pieced together later, it happened something like this.

Amy repeated in an ominous growl "Dr. Marvin Albert, what the hell do you think you are doing to my husband!"

Dr. Albert became aware of the lights, and the voice, and whipped his head around to face Amy. He recovered quickly, and nearly shouted "I don't know who the hell you are, bitch, but I want you out of here now! I have unfinished business with one of my doctors!"

Amy was on him in an instant. The crack of her slap across his face sounded like the report of a rifle. "Get the hell away from my *husband*!" she shouted, as she pushed him to the side, dislodging him from my tortured anus.

"Husband?" he gasped.

"That's right, husband! Now, I want an explanation here, right now, or I am marching right out there and bringing back witnesses to show them just what kind of pervert we have directing our group." As she attacked him verbally, she gently eased my costume back up over my nakedness, and stroked me soothingly.

He counter attacked as he rearranged his clothes, "After I get done telling about your recent behavior, you will be out on your ear, and no one will listen to a word you say!"

She smiled at him evilly, "Not even when I show them what you were doing to a man?" He paled slightly. "And what is it you think you have on me? Oh, don't tell me! You've been talking to that bastard Jerry Fredricks, haven't you? Well save your breath, I have never done anything with him. Jerry got my husband here drunk, and then proceeded to force him into a degrading situation. Out of consideration for James' feelings I told Jerry I would keep quiet about it, but now that it's out, you have not a thing on me, and you and Jerry are both facing ruin!"

When he didn't immediately respond, Amy continued "Maybe I should get Marcy in here?" Dr. Albert paled at the mention of his wife. Even with mistaken identity, this was not explainable to her. Amy whipped out her cell phone, dialed, waited. "Sandy, can you please find Marcy Albert and bring her to conference room three at the east end of the ballroom? Thanks, you're a sweetheart!"

Dr. Albert gasped, and tried to stop her, but Amy calmly finished the call. He looked broken. "What is it you want?"

Amy spat, "You. Dead!" He jerked back as if slapped with each word. Then Amy continued more calmly, "Scum like you can destroy the great thing we have in this medical group. If we are going to succeed, you need to go. So! What I want is your resignation, as well as Jerry's, before the governing board within a week. And I want your promise that none of this will ever be mentioned outside this room. If you do that, James and I won't talk about it either. I will let you keep your reputation, and maybe your wife. But I will not work with or for your ever again."

Amy heard the door opening, and said one word "Decide!" He nodded his head in defeat. Amy quickly turned to the door to see Sandy and Marcy entering. "Oh, thank heavens you're here. Marcy, Jamie and I were talking with your husband here, when he started feeling poorly. Then Jamie passed out on the table, so I called Sandy for help. I think you had better get your hubby home to bed. And Sandy, can you help me with Jamie, please?"

Sandy started to say something, but Amy desperately gestured her to keep quiet, and they went to Jamie as Marcy helped her husband from the room, making soothing noises as they went.

When they were gone, Sandy hissed "What the hell is going on here!"

When the door closed, Amy responded "That bastard was raping Jamie! He thought it was me, that he had some damaging evidence against me, and was blackmailing me into having sex with him. I can only guess that Jamie went along to try to protect me. Help me get him out of here!"

*****

I came around as they tried to get me upright. There was a throbbing pain in my bottom, and I felt slightly woozie. Then it came back to me, what had been happening, and I started bawling, and begging Amy for forgiveness. She hushed me, and soothed me with loving words, until I calmed down enough that Sandy and Amy were able to guide me out of the room and toward the exit. We made a little stir as we navigated the ballroom toward the door with Amy deflecting concerned inquiries with vague non-answers. Sandy drove us home in silence. I think I was going into shock. The trip passed in a haze, as did the walk into the house.

Sunday, November 1

Next I knew, I awoke in my own bed, naked, with Amy asleep beside me and Sandy sprawled across the easy chair near the bed. I had to pee bad, so I tried to get out of bed without waking anyone, and scampered into the bathroom. When I finished, I wrapped one of Amy's gauzy robes around me. It didn't hide much, but I felt better with it on.

When I got into the bedroom, Sandy was looking at me intently, and Amy still slept. Sandy gestured toward the door to the hall, and I followed her to the kitchen. I sank wearily to a chair, and Sandy set about making coffee. She nodded her head toward my room and said "She wore herself out, staying up most of the night, making sure you were OK. She was so worried about you. She blamed herself, and she felt so guilty."

I just stared at her dumbly, only soaking up about half of what she said. When I didn't respond, she continued "But we both know where the blame belongs, don't we?"

I hung my head in shame, and mumbled "Yes."

She quickly crouched in front of me and tilted my head up so she could look into my streaming eyes. "No, oh no, that is not what I meant. Don't even think that! God, no! This is all my fault. If I had just trusted Amy, and accepted you, this would never have happened. God! Boy, have I screwed everything up!" She sobbed, and sank back onto her butt on the floor. Soon she was crying as well, and it was my turn to kneel beside her, take her in my arms, and comfort her. At least it took my mind off my guilt. I reassured her it wasn't her fault. I held her, and we rocked back and forth, each buried in their own private hell of guilt, but trying to comfort the other.

I don't know how long we shared our misery like that before I felt another pair of arms wrap around both of us, as from her own load of guilt, Amy tried to soothe us too.

Finally we all stopped crying and just held each other. Sandy said, "Trick or treat! That sure was a hell of a trick I played on you, wasn't it?"

I looked at her, and said "Maybe it was just a treat in disguise."

Authors note: Hope you enjoyed. This was where the story was originally intended to end, however, there seems too much going on in Jamie's life to end it just yet. Look for Jamie's continuing adventures in "Trick or Treat 2 — Descent".