Thought I'd post a link to this here, as it relates to the emotional and practical issues many of us have to deal with at one time or another.
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/01/18/sl-lett...
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Comments
Okay...
To me this seems like the girl he's with is actually Lez... (She has a non-disclosed adjenda )and as such, she wants to show-off that "Yeah, he's male, But... he doesn't look it, act it, play it... now does he? His playing it down to preseve his sons sanity while at the school... is showing what a caring Dad he is. If he's dressed fem most other times, this isn't an issue with his teaching them non-discrimination.
Three days silent treatment? Okay, as someone who has such moods, I can tell you that it takes something rather grievious to send me over into that mode! Like my partner doing something that just totally shows disrespect for me! This is what I mean by rationalizing that she has some sort-of ad-gender? She's seems to be pushing him to be even more fem. No doubt planning a dual-bride type of wedding.
Unlike most, I'm not saying dump her off, but think they need to have a sit-down, and discuss just where this relationship is going, and ALL the expectations that are involed on both sides.
Interesting Theory
...and it actually seems to fit the circumstances pretty well.
That just brings up the question of who she's trying to convince. This would seem more like she's trying to convince her lesbian friends, or show off for them or something, than for herself.
Yeah, I don't agree with the sentiment to dump her right away, either. But, there are definitely issues there, aren't there?
Need to Know More
The columnist set the tone for this conclusion jumping -- as columnist do. Obviously we don;t know enough about the situation to make more than a WAG.
I'm assuming the TG has suffered great guilt and shame. It could be the "wonderful girlfriend" is concentrating on making sure guilt and shame are out of the picture by attacking the world head on. (Some would say "head up".)
The girlfroend sounds toxic and I would tend to agree with the columnist, but would recommend consideration not direct implementation of the dump switch. But then, columnist aren't paid for "sort of" opinions.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
It's not very well explained at all
and we don't have enough facts to make decisions. The columnist is a twit and the comments are mostly made by escapees from the local asylum.
They need to sit down and talk and then perhaps talk it over with a couples counsellor. Only they can resolve this one way or the other.
I see the tabloid effect gets into everything, what a tacky site.
Angharad
Angharad
>> we don't have enough facts to make decisions.
Indeed. Just because one party has managed to make a case for one viewpoint, doesn't mean that there aren't others, possibly even more compelling points. These sorts of sites encourage confrontation and controversy, for the most part, because this attracts readers. Sensible people with love in their hearts don't often air their dirty linens in public, unless they mean covertly to hurt or harm the other party.
Thus far we see manipulation and special pleading on only one side, and hear about the rest by second-hand report.
Just offhand, my initial sympathies don't lie with the one who's made a public spectacle out of what ought to be a private conversation.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
My Genderqueer Romance
Not enough real information here for me to go spouting off with an opinion, but it does seem like enough material for someone to base a story on. The person writing to the column seems to be divorced. If the former spouse had been negative about crossdressing, the new girlfriend must have seemed like a dream at first. Ah, sweet acceptance! Then the control issues start surfacing. Feeling like a pet, or something put on display. Explorations of just exactly what "genderqueer" would mean in practice (a confusing term to me) and in the hearts & minds of the characters; And with a number of possible endings, depending on which way the author wanted to take it. I'd read it, if anyone felt up to penning such a story.
~~~hugs, Laika
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Genderqueer
In general, someone who doesn't fit into rigid gender boundaries, or consciously rejects such boundaries, or finds the whole idea of binary choices or “making nice” quaintly old-fashioned.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer
Genderqueer self-identification tends to be rather more confrontational that the present correspondent appears to be in practice, so there may be an element of wishful thinking there.
And to be perfectly fair, wimping out on the genderqueer stance is fairly likely to annoy other genderqueer individuals.
Cheers,
Puddin'
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Girlfags & Guydykes
It's virtually impossible to poke around in wikipedia without finding a link to some other entry that amazes you, either directly or after a couple of hops. This is where I landed after a few clicks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlfags_and_guydykes
You learn something new every day. I just learned a few new words! Pomosexual was another one.