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*mumble* *grumble* I should have known this would happen. *mumble*...
I've been working with the LGBTQ group at my church (it's a Quaker "Meeting" and we don't call it a church, but we have this lovely old building where we congregate to worship and stuff, so why am I splitting hairs?), on promoting transgender rights, issue awareness, and acceptance. As pretty much the only "T" person who shows up at the committee meetings, it seems I'm going to be getting pushed out front on a presentation we're doing on this subject for other members of our church.
Well, my experience is very limited. I'm a crossdresser who first lived most of my life in relative stealth, and eventually ended up being able to come out of the closet without disrupting my marriage, and now gets a limited bit of positive public acceptance which I find quite uplifting. In other words, although I might have very modest standards, I find my life tolerable.
I've heard quite a few other real-life stories which were not very nice at all. And, a few which were nicer than mine.
Would you be willing to allow me to share yours with others? If so, could you write me a very brief thumbnail summary of how being transgender has affected your life, for better or for worse? A couple of paragraphs, not much more than 200 words. I'll choose a half dozen of them to read next Sunday, with the aim of giving non-TG people a sense of just what difficulties a TG person faces in this world of ours today. Please be as blunt, as brief, and as factual as possible, and use the "Write to Author" link rather than adding it below as a reply or comment. (I don't want anyone peeking at anyone else's homework, so to speak. I'd like to avoid cross-pollination of the stories and allow each person doing this to do so unaffected by anyone else. I want the voices as separate and as unique as possible.)
I'll be honest. I'm going to arrange the stories in whatever order I think will make people cry the most. If it takes a happy story to do that, then I'll slot it in at the right emotional point. If it takes a heartbreaking one, ditto. If I have to edit the stories for time or impact, I'm going to do that, too. The goal here is to teach, and to motivate people to be accepting and to work for societal acceptance.
Thanks in advance!
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Tell them this:
Sorry, didn't read....
Here's my story
For 21 years I lived with and loved with a woman, Jeanne, who happened to have been born male. She died four years ago. A couple years before she died, CA established civil unions for same sex couples and promised, in law, most of the benefits of marriage for such unions. Specifically, one of those was survivor benefits, just like a spouse. Jeanne and I promptly took out the proper papers and filed them.
When Jeanne died, the funeral home refused to honor the law by following my instructions and instead contacted Jeanne's sister who insisted that Jeanne be listed on all the paper work under her birth name and her birth sex -- an identity she had legally discarded by the laws of both her birth state and California. Short of an expensive lawsuit, there was nothing I could do, despite the fact that I had already paid for the services. I had no say in things. Jeanne's wishes were completely disregarded and her body, identity and memory were disrespected by people who hated her.
Now, similar hateful bigots here in California are disrespecting and dehumanizing thousands of legally married couples in the state. Not all of those married people are TG, most probably aren't, but it is the same sort of hatred and bigotry that struck out at Jeanne's simple wishes for respect for her death and our love.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
I'll ask Roo
If you can use her story. As for my stories... any of the ones under the S.O.L.O. Title Page are true stories, along with My Birthing Day Blog and I'll tell you more if you want.